ionlyseeu

[ionlyseeu]

Lana writes art deco about me, I am art deco

I am the music

The cruel prince

The vibes the royalty of it, the untouchable, the doing whatever I want with it, that’s me.

Ughhh I’m obsessed with myself

[ionlyseeu]

I beg you, yeah I’m talking to YOU, who’s writing this, leave that poor man alone just because you’re lonely. Ahhhh you sick sick fool

[ionlyseeu]

I am such a little fool

Like I used to be so easy for myself to manipulate but not anymore and it’s so sad because I wanna manipulate myself to be a skinni queen

But also I can try delude myself and romanticise D all I want but mannnn I just don’t love him

He’s no art deco and that’s unfortunate

Aaaa he’s not the man Lana write song about yk

But I know the men Lana writes art deco about ahahahahha

And my god have me. Have me K I’m fucking yours

[ionlyseeu]

The quickest way to break your own heart truly is to be a romantic.

I just saw a video that said

Never was much of a romantic (I remember every single detail you told me about yourself)

[ionlyseeu]

Love is truly great, it just is, but I can’t keep searching for the same people in everyone new I meet

I’m just not going to find it

[ionlyseeu]

The funniest feeling in the world and with womanhood/girlhood, is realising all the people you laughed at and judged for liking a guy and being crazy over a guy are just like you because now you do the same.

Then when you think back to your situation from your past selves POV you get how silly the situation is.

Like girl stand up and be serious 🤣🤣🤣

Or more like, babe it’s really not that serioussssss lmaooo

[ionlyseeu]

You will lose and you will lose again and again if you let your laziness consume you.

You lost the ones you loved because you were fat and sloppy. But by god, you were perfect in every other way.

You let the chance for something better slide because you were too lazy to practice and be excellent.

To have a real fear, a real yearning, to change yourself for the better can only result in a profound sense of self and of happiness.

[ionlyseeu]

And still here it is, I remember every moment with you.

You, sunrise, when I first met you, every moment after. The eyes meet. Your hand in mine. I squeeze you hold back.

When you know you know indeed.

[ionlyseeu]

And here it is, the worst of all.

When I think of K

Stop tormenting my mind.

I love you so stop it

I can’t have you

No one compares to you

And I compare everything to you

I can’t help but be angry at these people who are normal and kind because they are not you

Ah the only ay you made me feel so safe and secure

Don’t look at me for everyone else but for you, look at me

J j want you to see me behind all the white noice

You would have loved me

You could have but why didn’t you

I we I not worth the risk

Am I not enough for anyon to

Was it b vwuwr I didn’t t ll you enough how much it is we meant to be us

From the first conversation we ion with you that I had I could see it.

You would get along so well with my family

You would love my culture

It would have embraced you

And yet here you are

With someone else

Whilst I am alone and waiting

And some days I hate you for it

But when I remember how you held me as if I was the most gentle delicate being on the plant all I can remember is that I love you

Why can’t you come back to me

I am hunk I kissed you hand when I really meant to kiss you

I remember Goulding your hand so much w m so unlike me

Accept it

And I remember gulfs suck a far cry from those who have no intelligence mats embarrassing comparing you tk abhing

Ah when I fall in love I cannot even imagine falling in love with an anyone other than you again

And with my eyes half closed and a lid of rubbish written before this,

All I remember is you. The smell of your sweater, the silk of your hair. I remember your eyes, the warmth of your hand .

I way you looked at me. I can’t be this being that is an idea anymore and just like I said you turned me from a shadow creature to flesh and blood. You literally made my brain stop imagining myself from a silly joke, a fucking idea in someone’s mind to something real. Someone with want and desire and need and for that I am ever grateful. You K, you liked my curly hair before everyone else, you liked my sun kissed skin, you liked me when I was ugly, you liked me and I was fat, you loved me all through this and that is why I have to have you. It has to be us we have to have it out.

Please I beg you come back to me, you are in my mind always as the one I beg you I can never confess but by god if you give me a chance I will have you. I won’t fight others for you but I will have you, as you are. We simply need to have it out.

[ionlyseeu]

I never really let myself do this but here goes!

To the person I’m thinking about.

You’re my bestfriend, you just are.

And I’ll tell you why

Even when I hate something about myself like my curly hair or the colour of my skin, you like them.

And therefore I like you.

Simple as that. I don’t like it and you do and then it makes me like it too.

You are so kind, you’re only a call away and that’s why I like you.

[ionlyseeu]

and d I I recognise!!! I wouldn’t ignore you img man I would’ve ignored you so fully from the beginning if you started the way you were bevause there was nothing. Exiting about you!! And that so ewww

[ionlyseeu]

I also didn’t care much for others but PAUSE OKAY JUST PAUSE I didnt care much for others but m I believe in good conversations, to give people the time of day. And you will always feel like no one is worth it right but everyone needs to be listened to and that’s where I failed with H, my old roommate but honestly he wasn’t my vibe but is that really an excuse and honestly I just need to retiree my mind because no one things like I do and I need TO unwind and unclench, like it’s not that serious

[ionlyseeu]

And as I write these stories I envision myself and you enjoying them together.

[ionlyseeu]

And I can’t say I ever regret loving someone or liking someone after I’ve got to know them because I understand why I did in the first place.

[ionlyseeu]

And I see all the things I like about myself in the people I like. There’s a strange normal to them that makes them normal like me where everyone else in the world is a stranger but they are you.

Loving someone else is loving yourself.

So, it is best to love and to lose than never love at all.

[ionlyseeu]

The strangest thing I noticed about loving someone is doing things they way they would do it, the way that is out of character for you then telling them about it. There is a sweetness to replicating, impersonating someone which is both a compliment and in absolute adoration of them.

‘I knew you’d be impressed by this’