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Yo - who messaged me anonymously? Who are you? Where you at? This has been bothering me all day!

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I could've swore I saw you sitting alone in a restaurant today. I walked by, saw a guy out of the corner of my eye, froze and stepped back to look again. Then I realized there's no way, NO WAY, but man he looked just like you. You have an almost twin.

sitting alone in a restaurant does sound like something I would do... I hope my twin is doing well for himself out there, enjoying fine foods and being stared at by strangers.

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Everything to do with the Orks is actually brilliant though. Every other race has invested everything to find a faster than light travel system that is better than the most frequently used current one (which is travelling through a seperate dimension that is basically hell, where demons try to break into your ship and murder you if your shields fail). Orks use it unshielded, just so they can have something to fight on their way to their destination.

They are also canonically a sentient fungus. They reproduce by spreading spores... They only grow bigger by beating the shit out of stuff that is bigger than them.

On the subject of their psychic abilities though, my personal favourite story about the unintended side effects of this is that one particular human leader, Commissar Sebastian Yarrick, once killed an Ork Warboss after having his arm ripped off. He then ripped off the Warboss’s arm and placed it in his own socket. Now, all Orks who know him think he’s an invincible god-tier opponent, so when he fights them... he is.

i know this exact post has been made hundreds of times but the funniest fucking part about Warhammer 40K lore is that orks are canonically reality-bending telepaths but are too stupid to exercise their abilities consciously; instead, things that enough orks think should work end up actually working, even if they violate the laws of physics. orks think that painting their vehicles red makes them go faster and painting missiles yellow makes them explode more, and so it does. captured ork mechs that get disassembled are usually revealed to be full of nothing but random scrap metal and wood piled haphazardly together and refuse to work when piloted by a non-ork. orks have fucking openable windows on their spaceships to let in a breeze

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I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”

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anyone want a cultist simulator steam key?

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*signs up with a sith lord and a trade federation that force monopolies and then embargo them to make them do what they're told* Nah we're not bad it's actually the jedi and the little green fuck who raised me. Dooku got daddy issues lul.

Didn’t think I’d find myself agreeing with Count Dooku but here I am.

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like that dude who used to just walk through the streets shooting people with crossbows if they got in his way?

Oh, you’re a devil’s advocate? Let’s hear your argument against Pope Francis’ canonisation of Francis-Xavier de Montmorency-Laval.

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Factorio is a fuckin’ hour eater man

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You know what?

This Castlevania show is actually fucking incredible.

As a huge fan of the games, this holds up well.

As a fan of well written characters, it stands up on its own.

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imagine dragons is what coldplay digivolves into. you can tell because they both suck shit in a very mediocre and boring way but imagine dragons is louder

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They should put literally any conceivable fighter into Smash Ultimate. I’m talkin Batman. I’m talkin Indiana Jones. I’m talkin Gandalf the Grey, and his echo fighter Gandalf the White. I’m talkin Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight.  And Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie. Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader. Lo Pan, Superman, EVERY SINGLE Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

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all time classic