iputmcytsintohydraulicpress - Tumblr blog

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the gemful visitor

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

bugs

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

who am i if not a guy who wears the same stupid little necklace. All the time.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

PUT A “∞” IN MY ASK BOX AND I’LL SHUFFLE MY MUSIC PLAYER AND GIVE YOU MY FAVORITE LYRIC FROM THE SONG THAT COMES UP.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

if you as a tme trans person are following a trans girl to slobber over her horny content but you start bitching at her any time she expresses even the most basic transfeminist beliefs or frustration with transmisogyny then like. how in your head are you separating yourself from the cishet guys who want women to shut up so they can beat off to them. do you genuinely think having a pussy absolves you of any potential proximity to misogyny

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

every time i see slur discourse i think about this post

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every day should be like i wake up & my first thought is a beautiful idea of a fun & new activity & i spend my day accomplishing it

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

How to spot a ‘fake’ gamer

Frequently pronounces video games as “Blideo Bames”

Will often say “I need help passing this level it’s really hard” then when you look at their screen it’s running Microsoft Excel 2007

They invite you over to their place to check out their game collection and it’s just every season of Frasier (still impressive)

Their Xbox One is actually a series of tissue boxes glued together with the word “NINTEMDO” painted over it

When you ask their favourite video game they respond by doing a series of skillful backflips, temporarily distracting you from having asked the question in the first place

Keeps a secret diary with “I HATE VIDEO GAMES AND I NEVER PLAY THEM” written on every page

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

saw a teenager in a TikTok comment section asking what it was like “being alt in 2012” and I was like what the hell and I left like 8 comments talking about how it was the same as it always is. You find your niche & friends & carve out a space for yourselves & some people will love what you do & other people will hate it and it is what it is.

but what is super funny is how what is considered alt continuously changes, like what is considered “the karen cut” today—staple of middle aged women—was edgy when I was in high school. A lot of emo and scene kids had asymmetrical stacked bobs.

When I got an undercut, nobody in my town had one. Only me. People reacted like I got a face tattoo and my principle actually tried to figure out whether I could be suspended for it, but there was nothing explicitly against it in the school handbook (and in fact tapers and fades were protected to allow Black students to have certain hairstyles so my haircut ended up being covered by rules fought for by Black parents. Thank you).

So it’s so funny to see elementary schoolers just walking around with half their heads shaved now.

Idk I remember when I was a teenager and adults who were teenagers in the 90s would tell me I didn’t know what “real emo” is and my trends were stupid, I promised myself I would never lose my sense of wonder & whimsy at evolving & emerging subcultures.

And I haven’t. I love seeing what the kids cook up and how the trends I loved at their age are discarded and rediscovered and recycled again and again.

Anyway the kid in the comments said “thank you for educating me about 2012” and I felt like the laziest funniest anthropologist ever but the truth is that historians are always starving for primary sources & it’s funny to think we are all a primary source for a little pocket of time.

People today are deeply obsessed with the 2000s emo scene, mosh “culture,” etc. etc. & I just think of it as the life I lived so it’s cute to think I have important insight on something that simply happened while I was there.

And y’all do too. I like humanity idk.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

short king

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the gemful visitor

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whenever i see a post abt jerd i can only see it as a fucked up euphemism for jacking off. who up jerding their peinass.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

i jave no strong feelings about ranboo but i wish more people hated on their hair. it doesnt look good. it looks crusty & dry & the side part is not working at all, get bro some good conditioner STAT omg. i feel comfortable confessing this because i would say it to ranboo's face.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

okay man. I am worried for my younger sibling. don't get me wrong!!! I love my cubitos too!!! i'm a big mcyt enjoyer. but holy shit. dude. bro CANNOT do anything without watching a mcyter at all times. it's gotten so bad they watch vods in the shower by putting their phone in a waterproof bag. they will be in there for a concerning amount of time and every time I walk within 20 feet of the upstairs bathroom or their bedroom I hear charlie slimecicle or mumbo jumbo or grian or ranboo. they haunt the halls of my home. help.

[iputmcytsintohydraulicpress]

Dog Meshi.