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Game of Survival: Part 4

After tragedy strikes Rafael Barba’s little sister moves back to New York City for a fresh start. Will she be able to move on with the help of her loving big brother and perhaps find happiness with a certain lieutenant in SVU.

Hey lovelies. I know its been forever since I posted. Life's been busy, but I decided I wanted to give this series another go. I'm still trying to figure out where I want the story to end up. Hope you all enjoy.

Series takes place at the beginning of season 18 of Law and Order: SVU and has references to One Chicago. Reader is canonicallly bisexual and in her mid-thirties.

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Sonny Carisi

Olivia Benson x Barba reader

Trigger warning: Mentions of death. Panic attacks and PTSD. If any of this could be triggering don't read.

Two days after your panic attack in the middle of downtown Manhattan you found yourself at one of the infamous the Carisi family dinners.

It had gone better than you’d expected you’d enjoyed getting to meet Sonny’s parents and his sisters, his sister’s boyfriend Tommy and what felt like his million nieces and nephews.

It was loud and chaotic, all while being warm and full of love. In all honesty, you’d found yourself loving it a lot more than previously expected.

It was fun getting to see Sonny interact with his sisters and how much they see

med to love Rafael as well.

You liked how open and receptive they were to your brother and how happy they were that Sonny and Rafael made one another happy.

Some people growing up hadn’t been forthcoming when not only Rafael had come out as bisexual, but when you had as well.

You’d known from a young age that you liked girls and boys and it hadn’t been a big deal, especially when Rafael came out to you, your mami, and abuelita in college.

Your Mami and Abuelita had been loving and understanding even if they hadn’t exactly understood it, they had just wanted Rafael to be happy in the end.

You knew you and Rafa were luckier than most because many people didn’t have happy coming-out stories or loving supportive people behind them.

He’d had several close relationships over the years, but none of them had been as serious after Yelina had decided to lead him on and break his heart.

You’d been happy when Rafael had shyly called you one day a little over a year ago letting you know he was seeing someone.

One of the detectives that had recently joined SVU to be specific.

You knew it must have been serious given Rafael to your knowledge hadn’t really dated much he seemed all focused-on work.

The fact that he was seeing someone and letting you know he was seeing them relatively soon had proven to you just how much your big brother felt for the happy-go-lucky Italian man.

From the second you’d met Sonny you’d known he was absolutely perfect for your at times grumpy big brother.

He’d always been kind and open he really did live up to his nickname because he’d always reminded you of sunshine.

The pair of you had gotten along right off the bat and he’d gotten on well with your mami and your abuelita when she’d still been alive.

The Carisi family was no different they were a welcoming family for which you’d been grateful.

Sonny hadn’t been kidding when you’d shyly arrived at the given address he’d texted you.

The Carisi sisters had all swarmed you and given you hugs as though you were lifelong friends as opposed to strangers just meeting.

They’d passed you around like a rag doll and had each gotten a turn giving hugs that felt more like a chokehold before Sonny shew them away for the time being.

You’d meekly held up the bottle of red wine you’d gotten hoping that it would be an okay brand.

You’d picked something that Rafael had suggested which was surprisingly in your price range for once. Everyone that knew your big brother knew he was no stranger to having an expensive taste especially when it came to fine scotch and whiskey.

Dinner had been served and everyone was currently enjoying dessert, a chocolate cheesecake that Sonny had made alongside their drink of choice.

You and Rafael of course had gone for coffee whereas some of the other Carisi’s had chosen to pair theirs with some lovely red wine.

You let out a sigh as you sipped your coffee watching Rafael and Sonny curled up together on the couch as they watched Sonny’s younger nieces and nephews play Candy Land in the middle of the living room floor.

It was an adorable sight and it made you smile. As much as Leslie had been on your mind lately all you could think about was the woman who’d stopped you two days prior.

You’d felt horrible for being rude, but you’d not wanted to come across that way either.

For so long everyone had been checking in and making sure you were alright and on one end you were grateful, on the other hand, it was frustrating because you didn’t feel like you’d ever be alright again.

The woman had clearly been as kind as she was beautiful and you were still curious as to why you hadn’t stuck around.

You’d not even stayed around to even listen to her name and there was a part of you that wanted to kick yourself for it.

She’d said something with an O and you’d found yourself for the past few nights playing a guessing game with yourself about what on earth could her name be.

Was it something delicate and feminine like Ophelia or something stronger like Odette?

You played these guessing games until you finally ended up falling asleep your mind filling with those gorgeous intense brown eyes that had been plaguing your dreams over and over again.

Two and a half weeks after dinner with the infamous Carisi family you found yourself going back to the DA’s office to see Rafael.

You felt like all eyes were on you as you head up to your big brother’s office. It was no wonder though you had a horrible black eye just under your right eye.

It was ugly-looking and swollen compliments of a perp who’d decided to get in a decent punch before he’d swiped your legs out from underneath you.

It hadn’t been fun given you’d cracked your head on the pavement when you’d gone down which had resulted in a nasty goose egg on the back of your head.

You’d been able to reprehend the suspect after gathering your bearings and you’d drug him back to the squad car in cuff’s much to the amusement of your sergeant.

Although the doctors had cleared you your boss had told you to take a day or two off just to ensure you didn’t overdo it.

Even though you were sore you’d not wanted to stay in your apartment all day which is why you were now heading up to Rafael’s office with a takeaway bag and two cups of coffee.

Getting to Rafael’s office you made your way up seeing Carmen on your way in. Her eyes widened at the sight of you clearly taking in the shiner on your face.

“Go ahead Y/N he’s busy but I’m sure he’ll want to see you.” The pretty woman had confirmed as you placed a short knock on your brother’s office door hearing his familiar clipped work tone say it was open. As you opened the door entering the office you found your big brother at his desk going over a ton of open case files.

“Hey, Rafa. I thought I’d bring you some much-needed coffee and some lunch.” You conclude to your big brother whose face dropped as soon as he looked at you.

Even though he seemed to be in the middle of something he was up and out of his seat in point two seconds.

His expression seemed to change going from concern, to worry and then anger before changing all over again as he started going off in a mixture of Spanish and English.

Dios Mio Y/N! What the fuck happened!” Rafael exclaimed his green eyes full of concern and anger at whoever had done this to you.

His large hands went to your face probing the area with gentle careful fingers.

“R-afa owww careful… it's tender. Seriously s-stop.” You whimpered trying to step away from your big brother’s worried probing hands.

The older man instantly stopped his inspection of your face dropping his hands instantly.

“Sorry Y/N. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” He sighed the vein in his forehead prominent as he look at you.

“Will you at least tell me what the fuck happened to you and who I have to murder?” He frowned watching as you set down the takeaway bag and coffee on his desk in the only empty space you could find.

“I was on a case yesterday and one of the perps got a punch in and then swept my legs out from underneath me before I was able to gain the upper hand.

I ended up with a decent goose egg after smacking my head on the pavement and well this.” You sighed motioning to the awful black eye that covered most of your face.

Rafael was instantly over to you once more his hands inspecting the back of your head where a golf ball-sized bump had formed.

“Before you say a word. I was taken to the hospital after and they sent me to CT. The doctor said I don’t have a concussion but I’ll be sore for a while. I’m fine though Rafa.” You exclaim your tone adamant taking in the familiar expression on your brother’s face.

He was about to let you have it of that you were certain. Your big brother was gentle and kind, but he’d always had the reputation for being an asshole, and who better to know of that reputation than you.

He could be smug, sassy, short and to the point but it was overall a shield.

Once someone got to know him better, once he fully let them in, that’s when they truly were able to see the gentle, caring man that was Rafael.

“Dammit! Y/N! You were injured out in the field and had to be taken to get checked out after.

Why didn’t you get ahold of me or Mami? Hell, if not me what about someone else? Hell, if you had needed to you could have gotten ahold of Sonny.” He stressed pinching the edge of his nose with his first and forefinger as he usually did when stressed.

“I-I-… I didn’t want to bother anyone. It's fine… Rafa. I’m- I’m just fine. It's f-fine.” You sputtered not entirely sure why you suddenly found yourself bursting into tears.

You were used to Rafael’s concerned outbursts, his temper, and how he could generally be whenever he got into his moods.

Usually, it was when he was extremely frustrated, worried, or a combination of both.

The light brown-haired man’s face dropped and his eyes softened as soon as he noticed your tears. He felt like an ass for making you cry whether it had been intentional or not.

“Y/N… hey.” He started his tone gentle as he look at you.

You wrapped your arms protectively around yourself feeling pissed off at yourself for crying and annoyed at Rafa that he’d made you cry in the first place.

It had been a lot for you emotionally over the past few weeks and having your big brother go off on you had been your breaking point.

The older man let out a deep breath as he carefully pulled you into his arms. He didn’t pull you in tight wanting to make sure that you knew you could leave at any time. When you wrapped your arms around him he pulled you into one of his infamous bear hugs.

“Hey, I’m sorry…. You didn’t deserve that. I was just concerned, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to jump down your throat or be a dick to you.” He sighed kissing the top of your head being mindful of your goose egg as he did it.

“You usually are a dick to me, but you’re also my big brother it's expected.” You sniffled into his chest gripping his suit jacket as you did it.

“As true as that may be… it doesn’t make it right.” Rafael purred as the door opened and a familiar warm voice filled the room.

“Barba I wanted to check on that- Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d have company. Carmen said it was open. I can come back later.” The warm feminine voice retort.

There was no way that voice sounded just like the woman who’d stopped you at the bagel shop a few weeks ago. The exact same woman you’d not been able to get out of your head since.

“Liv. It's okay.” Rafael’s warm voice purred as you stepped out of your brother’s hold feeling foolish as you went to wipe at your tear-stained face.

“It's fine Liv you didn’t know. This is my little sister Y/N Barba.” “Y/N this is Lieutenant Olivia Benson.” You felt your breath leave you only for a moment whether from your tears or the gorgeous woman standing in front of you, you weren’t entirely certain.

Her name was Olivia.

Not Ophelia or Odette… as you’d once questioned previously.

Her name was Olivia and you now had the pleasure and mixed horror of realizing the woman you’d been unable to get out of your head for weeks and the infamous Oliva Benson that you’d heard Rafael and Sonny speak of were the same person.

“Hello, Y/N. It's nice to meet you.” The older brunette purred her voice gentle as she look at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place.

You could tell she recognized you from the bakery at least she appeared to from the expression on her face.

“Hello, Liv… I’ve heard great things about you from Rafael.” You stammered shyly feeling like an idiot given you’d just been crying and were most likely a snotty mess.

“Likewise.” The brunette smiled her eyes meeting yours as she continued.

“So this is your infamous little sister. I’ve heard so much about.” She smiled looking to you and then at Rafael.

The smile was friendly, but the woman still seemed to have that same concerned expression she had outside the bakery as she watched you.

You’d heard from Rafael and Sonny that she was extremely empathetic and had a compassionate heart all while being a strong relentless advocate for victims and their families.

“The one and only.” Rafael purred his eyes meeting yours holding that same proud expression he’d always held.

Rafael hadn’t just been a big brother to you over the years he’d been the only male role model you’d had growing up that is until you’d joined Firehouse 51 and met Herman.

You were exceptionally close and even though he was a private person overall you could only imagine the horror stories that could have possibly slipped out of your brother’s mouth, especially after a couple of glasses of his favorite scotch or whiskey.

“Again sorry for interrupting… I just wanted to see if you had that warrant?” Liv purred her brown eyes flickering between Rafael and you.

“I do. I just finished it before Y/N got here.” Your brother purred looking to the woman knowingly as he head back over to his desk handing her the warrant that she’d clearly needed for the case they were working on.

“Thanks, Rafa. I’ll leave you to your visit” Liv smiled her eyes looking to Rafael once more before she turned back to you.

“It was nice meeting you Y/N. Hopefully, we’ll be seeing more of you soon.” Liv acknowledged her voice soft as she made her way out of Rafael’s office the door shutting behind her with a soft click.

“Y-you t-to-o.” You managed to choke out but it was too late for her to hear you the woman was already out the door.

You stood there staring at the door before Rafael clearing his throat rather loudly brought you back from your bustling thoughts.

“What was that?” Your brother question his green eyes meeting your e/c knowingly. Rafael knew you better than anyone and he could see something.

Something that was tangible to him at least maybe not you, not yet, but it was there. He knew because he’d spent a majority of a better part of a year looking at Sonny like that before he’d had the courage to ask him out.

You were drawn to Olivia of that he was certain, he just wasn’t sure if you knew it or not.

“What was what? I kind of met her before… I was outside that bakery that… that Les and I went to one of the last times we were here shortly before she died.” You sighed the same pang filling your gut as thoughts of Leslie flashed into your mind before you realized Rafa was standing waiting for you to finish what you were trying to say.

“I figured it would be good for me to try and work through some of those memories and things. It… it didn’t go well, Rafa.

I-I had a panic attack and I rushed out. I ended up running into Liv. Well, not literally she stopped me and wanted to see if I was okay, but I rushed off before she could even say her name.” You tried to explain knowing already what Rafael was getting at. You just weren’t there yet.

You weren’t sure if you’d ever be there and from what you knew Olivia was straight at least from what Rafael had said.

In fact, you didn’t know much about the woman besides the fact that she was a great deal older than you, she was one hell of a cop, a badass and she was a close friend of your brothers.

Which was saying something Rafael didn’t really get that close to people at work, at least he hadn’t until a couple of years ago.

You’d told him to branch out a bit. Luckily for your sanity and his, he had. Beginning to date Sonny and being adopted into his large chaotic family had only added to that.

Sonny brought out that warm side of your brother, that loving, funny protective side that he really only kept reserved for you and your family.

“You? Why didn’t you say anything?” The light brown-haired Cuban question all but face-palming as he watched you his green eyes widening as he took in this new information.

“I-I didn’t really think about it. Besides, I didn’t know you knew her or that you work with her. Damn, I was so rude. I just rushed off and I feel like an idiot.” You groaned collapsing into the chair beside you.

“Hey… Hermana look at me. Okay, you weren’t rude. I mean Liv. She’s really not going to care. She’s used to victims freezing up. After what you’ve gone through-” Rafael started before appearing to backtrack wanting to word things in a way that wouldn’t seem insensitive or uncaring.

“With all you’ve gone through, it's understandable that you’d freeze up. I-I know… I know it's been hard for you. I can’t even… I can’t even think of what I’d do if I lost Sonny.” You could hear your brother’s voice wavering a bit gripping tightly at the unbearable, unspeakable grief of losing his boyfriend.

He couldn’t fathom it, but in all honesty, he wasn’t sure how you were still standing after it all.

Leslie had been such a vital part of your life. A light that kept you tethered and grounded and then in an instant a literal instant she was gone.

“All I’m trying to say is a reaction like the one you had is normal and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. Liv of all people is going to understand that.” He mused pressing a kiss to the top of your head being mindful of your goose egg as he head back to his seat behind his desk.

“I guess. Still doesn’t mean don’t I feel bad.” You mumbled grabbing your coffee and taking a sip as you felt your eyes involuntarily wander back to the door even though a part of you felt sick for it.

You found yourself wondering when the next time you’d see Liv was. Your mind filled with the image of those warm brown eyes and you felt a small half-smile fill your mouth at the thought.

#law and order svu #olivia benson x reader #rafael barba x reader #leslie shay x reader #barisi

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