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Personal Reflection of GE FreEl LTAR

#Startedfromthebottomandnowwe’rehere!

I never knew a three-hour meeting per week would turn out to be a memory of a lifetime. Oh how I can still recall that one hour of pure silence I witnessed on the first day of class, how we were all desperately trying to converse to each other to break the walls of awkwardness, how flabbergasted and exhausted we all were at because of the course’s diverse audience, how we thought the demands and expectations of the course would be a little bit high (which is true lol) and how much self-esteem would we be needing to make it through the one-hour-three-times-per-week class. It was quite tough I must say but in the end, it was worth it. It was a journey filled with responsibility, camaraderie, confidence, volunteerism and learnings, a fun journey of a college student’s repetitive and monotonous life.

Today, I finally am able to “graduate” my beloved elective class. Those countless hours spent partaking on different activities and finishing requirements, those moments I felt so nervous thinking I was going to get called in front —they’re all coming back to me loo. But now, I am just relieved and happy that the the fruits of my diligence have finally ripen and I can now harvest them. Nevertheless, as I leave the course, I bring with me a myriad of memories and a number of people who made the journey meaningful. Forty strangers turned into one family, what a beautiful paradox.

I never realized I’ve been so out of reach from my hobbies (writing, speaking etc.) until LTAR happened. The environment and stigma of engineering had drove me away from a previous version of myself I highly admired — a writer, speaker and a researcher. After graduating Senior High School, I didn’t know I had become this number-loving, problem-solving, caffeine-dependent individual. Everything about that I realized upon taking GE FEL-LTAR. That’s why my never ending gratitude will always remain as I continue being a student and a person. This course had made me love my hobbies again. Because of LTAR also I was also able to self-reflect and understand things more maturely, this was so important to me. I learned about the differences in personalities, conflict resolutions, understanding relationships, influencing people and a whole lot more. As a young adult I really started to value these kinds of things. Lastly, I take it as a bonus that I was able to be a more “woke” netizen whilst taking the class. Because of the blog posts and requirements that require information dissemination, I was able to share awareness and give information about certain issues therefore becoming engaged with other people through the means of technology.

In our class I was not really as outspoken and vocal as some of my classmates. I don’t also do role plays well which is ironic because I really am a big fan of the cinema. Take for example the one activity we had where we were given different situations on the sources of miscommunications and I can still recall that I was the lead on that role play, I did not really perform well because I was shy and don’t really act. Lastly, and this issue needs a really big improvement: I was almost always late. I can only count the number of times I was on time in class and it did not reach ten. I was really expecting I would never be late at 12:30 for I have no previous class. Turns out it was just a scam.

In a nutshell, my experience with LTAR was one of a kind. I cannot compare the realizations and lessons I had from my other subjects. And our teacher Ms. Joseleanor Magno was one of the best parts. She was the perfect educator, the kind of teacher who organizes the flow of her discussion for her students to really understand her lesson. I love it that she enlists the tasks to be accomplished for the day’s discussion and achieve them all, this part always amazes me. She is considerate, strict and smart. I really admire her and she is really the reason why I strive up to be a better student in her class. My classmates were also nice. I never expected we’d all be this close by the end of the semester. All in all, I enjoyed eveything that happened during LTAR and I wish there’d be more similar experiences and people I’ll encounter in the future.

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Do you usually avoid people when you encounter a fight with them? Do you think what you’re doing lessens the tension between you and your nemesis? What if you’re not supposed to be avoiding the issue but face it? There are different conflict resolution strategies people use in dealing with conflicts and one of them is avoiding.

Watch the video now to learn more about this conflict resolution strategy!

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Book Review (How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie)

This is definitely one of the most life changing books there is. If you want to be an excellent conversationalist, speaker or an influencer to people, How to Win Friends and Influence People is definitely a must-read book for you. The book also helps you to become a responsible leader and a likeable figure may it be to your friends, families or even strangers. Just make sure to understand the author’s points and learn from his personal stories.

The book was written by Dale Carnegie in 1936. Who knew something published from eighty-three years ago would still remain to be so relevant until now? The book comprises of four parts and each part contains different principles.

Part one is entitled “Fundamental Techniques in Handling People”, Carnegie opens up by stating that he used to fish a lot during the summer. For Carnegie, he said that he was very much fund of eating berries and creams but for some reasons, the fishes like worms. He went into detail and stated that he baits his fish with worms and not with berries and creams because worms like fishes. So in summation, the chapter tells us that in dealing with people, we need to give them what they want for that is really everyone’s desire, to have what we want, and that includes you.

Part two is entitled “Six Ways to Make People Like You”, here Carnegie provides us with key points on providing people whom we socialize the comfort and pleasant feeling of a conversation. Being genuinely interested in a person is not only limited to asking how their day was or what are they doing at a moment, it is about remembering their names and giving them a chance to talk about the most trivial things in their lives with you sincerely listening to them. In a conversation, we must always learn to give and take. We must never forget to give importance to the person we’re talking to and avoid conflicts whenever they arise.

The third part is titled “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”. Have you ever made a mistake that you’ve become so speechless you weren’t able to say anything and the person you’ve made a mistake to just started rambling and saying these words like “you’re so irresponsible, you have one job how could you fail like this?”. According to Carnegie, the next time you do something wrong you must admit it quickly and emphatically. In that way, when you say “Oh my, I made a huge mistake I’m so sorry I feel so terrible please let me make it up to you.” When you begin as friendly as this, you may be able to deflate the anger of a person and make them understand the situation.

The last chapter is “Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.” Coming off as a calm and approachable person when confronting someone or talking to them about unpleasant things is one of a key to winning people. In cases of talking about mistakes to people, it is better to talk about your own first before you talk about others’. For example, you usually prefer to study early in the morning let’s say around 3 am or 4 am and your friends, who have a habit of studying late at night decided they want to study early in the morning too just like you. You don’t really think it will work out for them because they’re heavy sleepers and are nocturnal kind of people. So instead of disagreeing with them immediately, talk about how waking up early is a really challenging practice first or saying that you’re a morning person who don’t perform well at night or early mornings are kind of not healthy for late night sleepers like your friends. With this approach, you’re starting off friendly, providing an honest opinion, acknowledging the mistakes or consequences first and calling what’s wrong indirectly.

If you got hyped up and got invested reading the summary I made, I highly encourage you to read the rest of the book. Again it’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It’s useful and very helpful to everyone. What is discussed here are just small fragments from the book itself so if you really want to experience the real shot of a Dale Carnegie book, grab a copy now!

Photo credits: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

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EGO PATROL

Why is the ego so hard to explain or describe? The ego is difficult to define because the ego isn’t one specific thing. It is actually made up of many different beliefs that a person acquires over their life. Those beliefs can be diverse and even contradictory. To further complicate it, each person’s ego is different. If someone were to clearly identify and describe all the parts of their ego and what it drives them to do, you might not get a good description of what yours looked like. The challenge of becoming aware of what your personal ego looks like becomes more difficult because our culture doesn’t reward us for directing our attention inward and noticing such things.

The easier way to spot the ego is by the trail of emotional reactions it leaves behind: Anger at a loved one, a need to be right, a feeling of insecurity in certain situations, feelings of jealousy that are unexplained, the need to impress someone, and so on. Below are some example situations of these emotions labelled as Ego patrol.

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FOMO is a Low-key Parasite

So you’re not feeling so hot about things, or you’re wondering what your friends are currently doing at this time. How do you scratch the itch? You open your Facebook account of course, you open your instagram and slowly swipe on your friends’ stories, you opened your twitter and read their tweets. Your friends and peers probably had a great night. Without you realizing you uttered a sigh, paused for a while and realized how boring and repetitive your life is. “Why am I not doing all those things?” You asked to yourself. You started feeling anxious and desperately find ways to go out on your daily routine bubble.

When we feel worried and anxious about missing out things we might be struggling with the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) syndrome. To read more about this syndrome, click the link below and comment!

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Who is Irvin Karl Delorino?

1. He spent most of his childhood playing outdoors with his neighbors.

2. Shows a huge interest in musical instruments especially the guitar and piano where his skills in playing are self taught. He plans on getting a music degree in the future. He also plans to join in an orchestra and perform onstage as a musician.

3. Is a really big fan of the movies especially classical, heavy dramas and biopics. Among of his favorite movies are: The Godfather, A Clockwork Orange, Taxi Driver and American Psycho. He is an avid movie watcher. He finds nonfiction films “necessarily relevant and artistic.”

4. He joined several writing contests as a young student and competed locally and on the regional level at his hometotwn. His experience of loss was one of the most important lessons in life for it highlights improvement and trusting one’s timing.

5. Plans on working overseas once he finished studying in his country.

6. Is not really great with books. In his lifetime, he only finished one book and it was a memoir. Though in his room he had bought and kept a number of books including one from his favorite movies, the American Psycho.

7. Enjoys solitude and working on cafés for long hours.

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For families, it is a different kind of atmosphere when it comes to personal relationships. Unlike friends, acquaintances or even romantic relationships, family relationships manifest a different kind of depth and intimacy. Our relationship with our families as we all know has been in our lives since the moment we were born. With this being said, family relationships are important catalysts in the growth and development of a person. Our family teaches us specific ways of acting, thinking and feeling. Friends, teachers, playmates, and other associates are comparatively temporary influences.

My relationship with my family, I can say, is very much different from all my other personal relationships. In my family, I don’t usually share stuff like heartbreaks or crushes, though I talk to them about my struggles as a young adult and things like what I had for breakfast or the things I’m gonna be buying when they give me my weekly allowance. My relationship from each family member varies from one another. We are five members in our family and I am the second (middle) child. When it comes to my mother, my relationship is intimate. She never fails to give me the motherly love I deserve. I talk to her during my bad days and sick days. Also in days when I already spent my weekly allowance in a span of just two days. I also share to her the simplest details like when I’m about to go to the gym. I never hesitate to show my emotions to my mother, she is the person I initially approach when I’m about to cry. Even though my mother is a snappy and irritable person, I always ensure on my part that I should understand and be a good son as what a good mother she is to us. She works almost everyday and does a lot of activities related to her work.

I grew up not quite close to my father. We don’t really talk a lot and that implies I don’t really share stuff to him. He is however a kind and calm person. He cooks our meals and he is our family’s driver. He does the house chores. Our conversations only cycle about these things: how am I doing, what is keeping me busy in Cebu and what should we have for breakfast/dinner. Nevertheless, those short awkward talks make up my personal relationship with my father.

Lastly, my personal relationship with my two sisters is one of a kind. Just like with my mother’s, I talk to them almost everything about my life. They are my partners-in-crime and my travel buddies. I could never imagine not talking to them even for just a single day. My sisters always talk to me about their heartbreaks, crushes and some other girly stuff. Listening to them with those topics sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable but I guess the girls are just being girls. We enjoy singing together and watching television series and movies. When we’re all on our school break, we travel. Sometimes we go to the beach or go hiking. At home, we enjoy throwing jokes and insults to one another. In our down moments we never fail to give each other comfort and company. Though sometimes we fight, at the end of the day we still remain the closest of friends. My sisters together with my mother are the three most important women in my life.

I can say the relationship I have with my family is something I genuinely treasure. They have and always been my greatest strength and motivation in life. Sometimes missing them sucks. Not being able to see my parents everyday while they are growing old makes me sad. But knowing everything they do — the sacrifices, career and financial support is for me and my sisters’ betterment and brighter future, I tend to get away from my emotions and focus on paying them back when all their efforts pay off.

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A 250 ml volumetric flask is a 250 ml flask. A 1000 ml volumetric flask is also as it is. A 250 ml flask having 100 ml of water is different from a 250 ml flask with 200 ml of water. A 1000 ml flask will never be a 250 ml flask and vice versa just as when two 250 ml with different amounts of water inside can never be the same. This analogy is very much relative to the Social Penetration Theory by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor. They pointed out that there is a difference in communication depending on the intimacy established between individuals (1973). Relating the idea to the picture, we can say that there should be a limit as to what self expression should we have for people. For example: meeting someone who is a 250 ml flask is different than meeting someone who is a 1000 ml flask. For relationships to develop there must be an exchange of information (Carpenter, 2016). Let’s assume I have a more intimate relationship with 1000 ml than the 250 ml person. With this, I can say that sharing information to both of them in accordance to the Social Penetration Theory will vary. Intimate and personal details may be shared to the 1000 ml person because there is a more deeper connection established compared to 250 ml person whom I can share common and general details about me.

In my personal life, without hesitations I open up to my closest friends about my personal problems. I talk to them when I struggle academically or when things are bringing me emotional disturbance. I know without a doubt that the depth of our relationship is now on that point. Unlike to my peers or acquaintances in school, I only talk and share to them details about things like what I ate for breakfast, my nickname, my favorite cafes and other general stuff about me.