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We've started sharing our pregnancy news with extended family, and it has reinforced my reluctance to share in the first place. Most of our family doesn't understand why a person would want a large family, and would never choose this for themselves. When my husband and I shared with my husband's grandmother that we were expecting our first, she was unsurprised and said, "Well, you know the very Orthodox." My husband and I have since joked about that, but it's generally been true that our family just expects us to keep having babies because we're Orthodox. Obviously families do tend to be larger in the Orthodox world, but none of our family have actually asked us about our approach and have instead assumed things about us because we're Orthodox.

My husband told my in-laws by himself. I am a glutton for suffering apparently and told him that I wanted to be there when FIL and MIL were told. He said I could either take the out and accept his offer to tell them by himself, or I could choose to be there and be barred from complaining about their reactions afterward. My MIL's reaction to our last pregnancy announcement was, "Oh, I'm so proud of myself for not Googling how long a person should wait to try again after a miscarriage. I was thinking about that!" Those were the first words out of her mouth after we told her. This kind of reaction is, of course, very in line with her MO of making everything about her, so not surprising but still upsetting. Given that history, I decided to go to bed and let my husband tell them, and asked that he text me to let me know when he had officially told them. He did, and said they said they were pleased by the news, and yet the next day, they said nothing to me. No congratulations or other indication or acknowledgement of another grandchild. It has been over a month and they still have not acknowledged it to me. They have said it to other people, but seem to be deliberately avoiding saying anything to me. This again is consistent with their prior behavior, in which they look to be offended and respond tit for tat to what they believe the given offense was. TBH I'm not very interested or invested in further building a relationship with my in-laws, so this is not a crushing blow, but it bothers me in principle.

I told my grandmother and aunt yesterday. My grandmother's reaction was, "Oh, I thought so." Really? You really thought this was a nice thing to say? She herself has four children, and I don't think she would be particularly judgmental if any of my secular cousins had four children, but because we're Orthodox, it's different. Again, not surprising given her hostile attitude to our bringing kosher food for ourselves to family gatherings, as well as hostility toward other elements of our religious lifestyle, but disappointing nevertheless.

Overall, definitely reinforces why I only look forward to telling my parents.

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3yo: I want to watch that video we saw yesterday. I want to watch the Beis Damikash get destroyed again!

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5yo: “You can’t get cavities on Shabbos. Me: “Yeah?” 5yo: “Yeah, Hashem is resting so He can’t give you cavities!”

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I was in a coffee shop picking up coffee for me and a friend when a guy in a kippah passed me and said, “Chag Sameach!” I was so confused because who says that for Memorial Day?! I related this story to my friend later, and she thought it was weird too. Then we realized: today is Yom Yerushalayim. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

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If you’re in the community directory here in my community, you’re on the automated call list for community news. It’s usually engagement/vort announcements or death/shiva announcements. The transcriptions are so hilariously bad. This program doesn’t do well with New York accents or Yeshivish accents lol

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Reblogging two years later to announce that I’m still working through these toothbrushes and they will be used this year for Pesach. 🙃

I somehow accidentally ordered 16 new toothbrushes for Pesach. Whoops 😬 

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My SIL is expecting at the end of the summer/beginning of fall. Yay! The number of things they have already bought for the baby (before even 17 weeks) makes me oddly uneasy. I think it’s because I’m so used to the culture of most frum Jews where you don’t prepare beyond what you’ll immediately need and you only do that relatively close to the due date. I’m also more nervous about pregnancy in general because of my history of recurrent pregnancy loss. My SIL is a planner and very organized, so it makes sense that she’d want to get stuff early, but dang it makes me nervous lol.

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Just realized that 2033 will iy’H be a fun year for us. My son will be bar mitzvah in the spring, and six months later my daughter will be bas mitzvah.

Then we can chill for the next two years until my 16mo’s bas mitzvah in the fall of 2035 iy’H.

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Walking out the door to go to work at 6:15am and I hear my 3yo daughter in her crib, just waking up and talking to herself. “My mommy’s not really my mommy. Hashem is my mommy.”

Today before school she told me, “I am Hashem’s wife because He loves me.” 😆

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My 4.5yo confided in me that he doesn't think his head morah is Jewish. This is particularly funny because she is (in no particular order): a Bubby with many grandchildren, has run this Jewish preschool for over 20 years, and is the Chabad shlucha for their town.

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My in-laws are coming to visit and I have no one to whom I can vent and I'm going to have a mental breakdown from the pressure of keeping my temper when they are ridiculous. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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This morning while my husband was at shul, my 4yo and 3yo made an elaborate game that they were going to Eretz Yisroel on a plane. They packed their backpacks and arranged our dining room chairs to be the plane. (They even put a smaller seat so they could take their baby sister, too.)

When they "arrived" in Eretz Yisroel, they immediately went to "the Kotel" to daven. My 4yo kept asking me questions about E"Y, like, "Do they have bathrooms there?" "Do they have shoes there?"

Yep kiddo, they sure do. 😂😂😂

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Hatzalah is the BEST.

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Bought some practical things for our sukkah online and now Amazon thinks I'm into camping.

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i don't want the experience of being pregnant, but i want a baby. are healthcomplications that bad? i just cannot fathom having someone stare at my vagina as a baby comes out even though it is normal. it feels dehumanizing.

Interesting ask.

I can understand why someone would not enjoy being pregnant. It's hard on your body, and changes it in some temporary and permanent ways. People experience intensity and complications to certain degrees, and I can only speak to my personal experience of pregnancy. I like being pregnant, even though I feel sick throughout. My body is forever different after five pregnancies and three deliveries. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My kids are so worth it.

As far as people seeing you, I can speak to that on two levels.

Healthcare professionals don't even think about bodies in a personal way. I am a nurse and I have seen many naked people. I don't even think about it or notice personal things, unless there is a health issue to be addressed. A day after I've taken care of someone, I probably wouldn't even recall what their body (aside from the medical issue) looked like. We're very desensitized in that setting.

When I was giving birth, there came a point when I simply did not care who was there and who saw. I am a very modest person by nature, but by the time I was pushing with my first, I didn't even notice who was in the room (and there were lots of people because the NICU team was there). I also didn't care at all when I had my c-section, and there were 20 people in the OR. I was so focused on the experience of delivering the baby that there was no space or energy to be self-conscious. It didn't feel dehumanizing at all, and it never would have occurred to me to categorize it that way.

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Mazal tov! It's a girl! Baruch HaShem, we welcomed a baby girl to our family. Six months ago. 😬 I had a complicated pregnancy with severe IUGR, and she spent seven weeks in the NICU. She came home with a feeding tube but b"H it has been out since around Purim and she's been eating and gaining weight well.

I feel like things have been in hyper speed since she was born and time is flying by. I'm only just now feeling like I can catch my breath.

The 4yo and the 2yo are quite fond of the new baby and sibling bonding is going well.

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My son made a chasidishe man out of lego 😂😂