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Educated Section 4 Part 4:

Although the entire book is filled with internal dialogue (since it is a memoir), I really appreciated it in these final few chapters how Tara really contemplates everything she's been through and shares with us her feelings and reasoning and thoughts regarding all that she has endured. "I shed my guilt when I accepted my decision on its own terms, without endlessly prosecuting old grievances, without weighing his sins against mine. Without thinking of my father at all. I learned to accept any decision for my own sake, because of me, not because of him. Because I needed it, not because he deserved it. It was the only way I could love him." (page 328) While she recounts where she ends up, how she ends things with her family, how she succeeds in her new life, how she breaks apart from her former life, how she's grown closer to her aunt, and everything that happens, she tells her readers all about how she has changed during her journey. How her journey has changed her, for the better. She thinks over everything, as if she wants us to confirm it for her, because a tiny little piece of her is still that broken-down 16 year-old girl that she has tried so hard over the years to destroy. She still exists within her, threatening every so slightly to make her insecure again, to make her question everything she has done, to make her regret separating from her family, to make her broken-down again. Although she may believe that she's gone, a very tiny part of her lives on, and probably always will. That is partly the reason why she still longs to reach out to her mom again, why she struggled to walk away from the house that last time. She is looking for us to tell her that it's alright and that she is doing the right thing, saying and feeling the right thing. Otherwise, 16-year-old Tara might resurface. At least now she is more educated to let that happen. She knows better, she understands much more now. And she knows she won't let herself fall down that rabbit hole again, because she is stronger now.

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Educated Section 4 Part 3:

"I could not judge her for her choice, but in that moment I knew I could not choose it for myself. Everything I had worked for, all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me by my father, and to use those truths to construct my own mind. I had come to believe that the ability to evaluate many ideas, many histories, many points of view, was at the heart of what it means to self-create. If I yielded now, I would lose more than an argument. I would lose custody of my own mind. This was the price I was being asked to pay, I understood that now. What my father wanted to cast me from wasn't a demon: it was me. [...] I imagined my surrender, imagined closing my eyes and recanting blasphemies. I imagined how I would describe my change, my divine transformation, what words of gratitude I would shout. The words were ready, fully formed and waiting to leave my lips. But when my mouth opened they vanished." (Page 304) All this time, every since the very beginning, Tara has been on a mission, a quest. To try and educate herself. T distance herself from her father's beliefs, opinions, ideologies, rituals, words, everything, and find her own. She took every measure possible: finding proper education elsewhere, living elsewhere, separating herself from them in almost every single way, so that she could find her own way and create her own truths in this world, that she was gradually discovering was bigger than Buck's Peak. How could she let her father, after every single thing she has done, every battle she has fought, every right she has protested, every single thing she has done for herself, take it all away and pull her back into his mental prison, replace the shackles on her arms and that collar around her neck. Not now, that she has finally fully run away from them. She couldn't let them take away everything she has worked for, everything she has earned and become. She couldn't let them control and manipulate her again. She was educated now, she could take a stand. And her stand: she was protecting herself, for the first time in her life. 

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Educated Section 4 Part 2:

As is custom for every book we have read this year, I love to close off this literary piece by talking about the significance of the title, and how it connects to the entirety of the book. Although it may be quite obvious, throughout this book, the main character, Tara, became more academically educated. Although she was very slightly home schooled until a young age, she managed to pass her GED, experience what it was like to be in school for the first time during her time at BYU college, then she completed a few years at Cambridge University and then received her PhD from Harvard. She managed to do all of that despite the negligible education her parents gave her. That is incredible, she proved to her family, to the world, and most importantly, to herself, that she was just as smart (actually, way smarter) than anyone else who grew up with the advantage of being educated in a teaching institution. She rose above all those odds and proved to everyone that she could do it, that she belonged, that she was valuable and special. Aside from the academic education she sought out and received, however, throughout her life (since this is a true story) she learned what it was like to be educated in a way that didn't involve books and numbers and grades and classrooms. She got an education on life. Leaving her family to go to college and university, sharing dorms for the first time, being financially self-reliant, hearing about worldwide issues and events and ideas, leaving the country, finally getting a chance to explore the rest of the world without her parents' ideologies and beliefs and fears getting in the way. She opened her eyes on difficult topics (the holocaust and feminism, for example), she learned how to behave like normal students (drinking coffee and shopping and studying on a Sunday), she explored what it was like to have personal romantic relationships without her parents calling her ridiculous names and believing that she was a sinner in the eyes of God (with Nick and Drew) and she learned what it was like to create her own beliefs and opinions without being blindly obedient to her father's words. She became educated in a way that now she could see the world in her own way, through her own eyes and forge opinions for herself. She can understand, now, that the life she had been raised to believe was her destiny was the result of mental illnesses from her parents. She is educated, now. She knows the truth. She knows the world. She knows what is right and wrong. That is exactly how her experience has changed her, has educated her. 

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Educated Section 4 Part 1:

1. Why does her mom keep changing her mind when it comes to helping her kids? Is mental illness involved or is it just a personality trait?

2. Although her academic education has opened her eyes, aside from this, how else did Tara become educated? By what other means did she become 'educated'? 3. Tara has changed so much over the years. How has her relationship with men changed accordingly? Is there a link between the two?

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Educated Section 3 Part 4:

As I had started to mention in my quotes post, when she was on the roof, speaking with her professor, I saw a major symbol. The other students are safer on the ground, where it is normal (goes to school, has a regular family, lives a regular, boring life) and she doesn't feel as comfortable because she has never known normalcy (as we have read). When they get higher, and (in their minds) more dangerous, the other students (who have all lived boring, regular lives) don't feel safe because they have never experienced danger as Tara has. She feels, finally, like herself up there. It's a fact that you grow up being a product of your environment, meaning the way you were raised influences the person you end up becoming when you are on your own. Since she was raised in a world, secluded from the 'normals', doing everything to the utmost ab-normalcy, living in fear of her life, in constant danger, she is growing up to be fearless. This is a wonderful quality, but it could also be her downfall. Anyways, as I was explaining, this, in a way, symbolizes that the way you grew up influences how you will react to certain situations and who you will become. This also establishes the fact that, although it is not necessarily in the way that she believes it to be, she is very different than her other classmates. She can buy all the new clothes she wants and never talk to her family again, she will still never be like them, which is a good thing.

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Educated Section 3 Part 3:

"  "The other students were relaxed until we came to this height. Now they are uncomfortable, on edge. You seem to have made the opposite journey. This is the first time I've seen you at home in yourself. It's in the way you move: it's as if you've been on this roof all your life." [...] "I can stand in this wind, because I'm not trying to stand in it," I said. " The wind is just wind. You could withstand these gusts on the ground, so you can withstand them in the air. There is no difference. Except the difference you make in your head. [...]You are all trying to compensate, to get your bodies lower because the height scares you. But the crouching and the sidestepping are not natural. You've made yourselves vulnerable. If you could just control your panic, this wind would be nothing." "The way it is nothing to you," he said.   " (Page 237)

I couldn't decide which section of this page I liked the most, so I chose to add it all together and talk about it all as a whole. This conversation takes place between Tara and Dr. Kerry (her professor) on the roof at Cambridge, where he notices that Tara is more comfortable the higher they go. It is said that all the other students get more and more uncomfortable as they get higher, with scarier winds, crouching and leaning against the walls to feel safer. Tara is the opposite, she is more uncomfortable with everyone else on the ground, where it's safe. She feels more at home up with the dangerous winds. She explains that it is no difference to her, however. That if you take away the panic, you will realize that it's just as stable as the ground. The difference is in their head, she said. I saw this as a symbol for her reality. For all the other students, they are comfortable on the ground where it's safe, hence they are better with normalcy. She doesn't feel good there because she isn't used to normalcy, based on how she was raised. She feels at home up where it's dangerous, but she doesn't feel the danger because she has grown up with nothing but danger. She has grown up resilient, because she has had to fear for her life often. It just shows how different she is from the others, although it's not a bad different, like she believes.

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Educated Section 3 Part 2:

Even though I only read about it, I could feel as though I was personally there during Tara's father's accident. The detail in every single second and every single object made it so that you could see the image so vividly in your mind. You could see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, touch it practically.

"But I know Dad was standing next to the car, his body pressed against the frame, when the tank exploded. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, leather gloves and a welding shield. His face and fingers took the brunt of the blast. The heat from the explosion melted through the shield as if it were a plastic spoon. The lower half of his face liquefied: the fire consumed plastic, then skin, then muscle. The same process was repeated with his fingers-the leather gloves were no match for the inferno that passed over and through them-then tongues of flame licked across his shoulders and chest. When he crawled away from the flaming wreckage, I imagine he looked more like a corpse than a living man." (Page 218)

I believe the infinite detail in this paragraph (and the rest of the chapter) really helped us feel personally inside the story, watching this happen right before our eyes. It has a much stronger effect on readers this way.

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Educated Section 3 Part 1:

1. Why does Tara feel as though she should have reacted differently when Emily came over at the house, freezing almost to death after Shawn had kicked her out? 

2. Why does Tara not advertise her past to others? What are her feelings towards it? What would you do and feel in her scenario? 

3. What is the connection between Tara's Grandpa-down-the-hill accident and her own father's accident?

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Discussion Reflection:

Above other things we discussed, one thing I found very interesting was what Sabrina mentioned. She said that Tara had more responsibilities and more independence, which is what made it easier for her to do certain things. That makes perfect sense. Since, growing up, she was suffocated by family and not coddled, she felt more responsible. She did so many things on her own. Driving, getting a job at such a young age, moving away to college at 17, etc. It's actually quite ironic. Many of us here do have certain responsibilities and feel independent, but we would never be able to move away to a different city to college, leaving our family behind overnight. She is so strong, and has such immense will power, she can do anything. She is more mature and intelligent than the majority of us here, simply because when you are raised so strictly (suffocated) and not as affectionately (not coddled), you become a young adult way before you are ready to stop being a kid.

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Educated Section 2 Part 4

As I mentioned with my quote, one of my favorite codes and conventions in this section was when she was trying to learn math (sine, cosine, tangent). She felt like there was a gateway between her and the answer (the side of laws and reasoning and understanding and information). This is such a significant image (or symbol, however you picture it being) mostly because you can relate it to her real-life situation. However, in reality its more: the barrier is between her Mormon family and the Mormon ways she grew up with and, on the other side of said barrier, the world of education, of understanding, the world that has been all around her all this time even if she never knew it. She is finally getting the chance to explore that, but since there is a barrier, he needs to fight and work hard and break free from her side to finally get to where she wants to be. This is such a powerful image, i find.

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Educated Section 2 Part 3

"The misery began when I moved beyond the Pythagorean theorem to sine, cosine and tangent. I couldn't grasp such abstractions. I could feel the logic in them, could sense their power to bestow order and symmetry, but I couldn't unlock it. They kept their secrets, become a kind of gateway beyond which I believed there was a world of law and reason. But I could not pass through the gate." (page 125)

Although this wasn't my favorite part of this section, I did appreciate how this directly related to her situation in reality. Here, she is teaching herself math, trying to understand the formulas and the reasoning behind everything. She is trying to grasp it all, but she can't. She feels like there is some barrier between her and math and although she is trying her hardest to break it, it remains solid, planted there. This same analogy can be made to explain her reality. She is presently still on her family's side. The Mormon side, the scary side, the uneducated side, the dangerous side. However, she is trying her best to make it over to the 'normal' (if there is such a thing) side. She is trying her hardest to break the barrier, cross over to the other side, but she remains firmly planted on her family's side. I love this quote simply for that analogy, and how it relates to her life.

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Educated Section 2 Part 2

As obvious as it is (since I figure most everyone will want to talk about this character this section), I really want to discuss Shawn. (Tara's older brother) Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what happened to him. As opposed to Tara, we can't blame it on the accident. We know that it all started long before his accident. His extreme maliciousness, his violence, his manipulation and controlling demeanor, his rudeness, his altogether hate against Tara and all the girls, etc. What can we possibly say that could cause that? It started when he began abusing his 'man power' over Sadie, which started out as just for shoots and giggles. Then it progressed. I must admit, reading about Shawn hurting Tara, his little sister (or his sittle lister) brought tears to my eyes and pangs to my chest. They were so close, so fun-loving, the epitome of a brother-sister relationship. And the fact that he is able to physically hurt her, and feel no immediate remorse is just frightening. However, the most disturbing fact of the entire situation, is that Tara is so ignorant to the world outside of her father's perspective that she doesn't even care. She doesn't even realize that what is happening to her is not right. She is going along with it and her affection for her brother remains the same. Once it starts to get so very worse, then she starts to understand (but this is also due to the fact that with school, she is learning to become less ignorant and comprehend more things about life). Although this section is certainly the most entertaining yet, it is also the most disturbing and frightening, especially considering we know this story is 100% true.

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Educated Section 2 Part 1

1. Why does Tara keep believing and trusting Shawn, even when she knows that he is wrong? 2. What do you think about how Charles reacts to Shawn treating Tara this way? 3. The mother says to love her children, yet when Shawn is beating up Tara, she does nothing. She believes him, and lets him continue. Why do you think that is? 4. How does Tara going to school showcase just how much her environment growing up made her ignorant to the world around her? Why did her family keep her oblivious to everything?

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Educated Section 1 Part 4

As with the Handmaid's Tale, one thing that I noticed about this author's writing technique is that she frequently refers to flashbacks, which could at times be a little confusing. She will be talking in the present and then suddenly we are in some different setting at some different time. This is a very good convention because it really gives us more backstory to some events that occur. It helps us understand certain motives and reasons for why characters act a certain way in the present, based on things that happened in the past. Tara Westover refers to this technique often, but she is sure not to over-use it, as I believe Margaret Atwood did in the Handmaid's Tale. A main story line that consists of certain flashbacks every now and then makes it more clear that it is a child telling us a story. Although it is not a child writing it, we can understand that the perspective of the story is seen through a young girl's eyes. As any child would be telling a story, they might go back in time to another story to give us more information or details that will help us understand their main story.

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Educated Section 1 Part 3

Quote: "As we drove to the trailer, the sun dipping in the sky, its last rays reaching across the highway, I thought about the Apache women. Like the sandstone alter on which they had died, the shape of their lives had been determined years before--before the horses began their gallop, their sorrel bodies arching for that final collision. Long before the warrior's leap it was decided how the women would live and how they would die. By the warriors, by the women themselves. Decided. Choices, numberless as grains of sand, had layered and compressed, coalescing into sediment, then into rock, until all was set in stone." Page 35

I absolutely love this quote, mainly because it touches on so many different ideas in such creative and nontraditional ways. Mainly, however, this quote is about the philosophy of determinism. Determinism (as we touched lightly on while working on Sophie) is the belief that everything we do and everything that happens to us is completely decided by someone or something prior to the action taking place. For example, some believe that God decides everything, that whatever happens is God's intention, it is his plan (as Tara's father believes). Others, (like myself) are more inclined to believe in free will, the idea that we get to choose our own destiny. Tara's quote explains how the lives of the Agate women are completely predetermined, chosen for them, that they don't get a say in their own future. In the tone of the quote, she, in a way, implies that this same reality is true for herself. She believes that her life is completely planned out for her (by her father). I am really intrigued as to how she manages to break free from the shackles that, at the moment, hold her to this belief and this life.

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Educated Section 1 Part 2

Setting: "The Princess was always brightest in spring, just after the conifers emerged from the snow, their deep green needles seeming almost black against the tawny browns of soil and bark. It was autumn now. I could still see her but she was fading: the red and yellows of a dying summer obscured her dark form. Soon it will snow. In the valley that first snow would melt but on the mountain it would linger, burying the Princess until spring, when she could reappear, watchful." Page 12 This is just one example of how the author, Tara Westover, uses such descriptive language to explain everything that she sees. This is her perspective of a mountain, and look at how detailed she made it. I believe it, in a way, intensifies how the story is in her perspective. She is a young child who's imagine is running wild, and with imagination comes details and distinctive features. It makes perfect sense that everything in this novel is written with so many adjectives.

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Educated Section 1 Part 1

Questions:

1. Why does Tara's mother chose to stay by her husband even though she knows he is wrong? (After the accident, Tara's dance recital, etc) 2. Despite his complete negligence towards his kids (when they get hurt or when one decides to leave and), do you believe that he still loves his kids? Explain. 3. Since all of the children are growing up and leaving, do you believe that this makes it easier for Tara do decide to rebel against her father too (going to school or the recital)? By extension, would this make it easier for Richard and Audrey as well?