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In junior year I remember surrounding a computer with my other classmates looking at the I’m Shmacked videos of different universities. Most of my classmates (especially the boys) were in awe with the girls in bikinis, and the excessive drinking, and the loud music. They repeated over and over again “I can’t wait for college.” I’ve never been much of a party girl and my friends always tease me that I need to gather strength during a whole month to go out for one night. It’s not that I don't like to go partying with friends, but it’s not my ideal plan. We pointed out in class today that to many people college is the prime time of their lives. A time where they get to do what they want since they basically have to worry about themselves (they don’t have a job to sustain themselves or a family to provide for). And for many these college years are for drinking, staying up late, sleeping with as many people as you want, and doing enough work to graduate and get a job that gives you a comfortable life with yachts and mansions and sports cars. After many years right when people are nearing their forties, they look back and reminisce about how great their lives were during college. And when they go visit universities with their kids they dress just like their kids and pretend just for a little second that they are back in their glory days. I don’t want my glory days to only be limited to the four years I will be spending here at the U. And I definitely do not want this I’m Shmacked representation of my time in college to be my reality. It’s hard to find a reason for why partying hard is so desired by people my age. It just has always been the thing to do with your free time and one of the main ways to meet new people. Plans that are more relaxed or more cool, like going to grab a coffee or having lunch or chilling at a bar, is reserved for close friends or girlfriends/boyfriends. Rarely do people bring along friends that you don't know to have coffee with you, but when you party people go out with strangers. Maybe its because since you will most likely drink into the abyss you can skip that awkward first encounter when you meet someone and have your now outgoing self dancing and singing with this stranger. Obviously there are always exceptions, but for the most part I feel like people find it easier to meet others when they are under some sort of influence (alcohol or drugs) since they are more relaxed and loose the mask they hold on to every day.

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Still driving around the country playing the same songs. Definitely not dead.  

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Fragmentation of Cool 

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Different Cools in ‘68 Music

With the fragmentation of cool in 1968 into the hippies, the white radicals, the black power, and the remaining cool individuals a series of popular bands emerged in each of the groups. The black power had James Brown. James Brown’s music was black and proud encompassing the spirit of revolt and the promise of freedom for blacks. His top song on Spotify is “Get Up Offa That Thing.”

Get up offa that thing,

And dance 'till you feel better,

Get up offa that thing,

And dance 'till you, sing it now!

Get up offa that thing,

And dance 'till you feel better,

Get up offa that thing,

And try to release that pressure!

Get up offa that thing,

And shake 'till you feel better,

Get up offa that thing,

And shake it, say it now!

Get up offa that thing,

And shake 'till you feel better,

Get up offa that thing,

And try to release that pressure!

Get up off!

Ha!

Good God!

So good!

Ha!

Everybody ready?!

Follow me!

This is an example of the cool that was embodied by the blacks in 1968, a cool that no longer meant private rebellion, but was now a violent and open expression for their rights. It demanded action. A perfect example of this is his song “Soul Power.”

Know we need it (soul power)

We got to have it (soul power)

Know we want it (soul power)

Got to have it (soul power)

Give it to me (soul power)

Hey, you need it (soul power)

Huh, we want it (soul power)

Got to have it (soul power)

I wanna get

Under your skin

If I get there

I've got to win

The white radical’s iconic band was MC5. Their music was loud and intense and meant for their followers to engage, fight, and provoke especially against the black power. They promoted the holy trinity of sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Their number one hit on Spotify is “Kick Out the Jams.”

I know how you want it child

Hot, quick and tight

The girls can't stand it

When you're doin' it right

Let me up on the stand

And let me kick out the jam

Yes, kick out the jams

I want to kick 'em out!

Yes I'm starting to sweat

You know my shirt's all wet

What a feeling

In the sound that abounds

And resounds and rebounds off the ceiling

You gotta have it baby

You can't do without

When you get that feeling

You gotta sock 'em out

Put that mike in my hand

And let me kick out the jam

Yes ! Kick out the jams

I want to kick 'em out

The hippies mainly listened to The Grateful Dead. Their music promoted people to be comfortably numb, by running away from the chaos of the violence and politics and create a new world. Their music was always the same. Even to this day they keep playing the same songs together, but with a new member to the group; John Mayer. They are now called Dead & Company and they have been promoting a summer tour where they will be playing the “Deads historic catalogue of songs.” Even though the hippies were always on the road and moving around they never changed. Very expected, very uncool. Cool is all about constantly changing and this band is still playing the same songs from almost fifty years ago. Their number one hit on Spotify is “Friends of the Devil.”

I lit up from Reno

I was trailed by twenty hounds

Didn't get to sleep that night

Till the morning came around

I set out running but I'll take my time

A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine

If I get home before daylight

I just might get some sleep tonight

I ran into the Devil, babe

He loaned me twenty bills

I spent that night in Utah

In a cave up in the hills

I set out running but I take my time

A friend of the devil is a friend of mine

If I get home before daylight

I just might get some sleep tonight

The remaining cool individuals continued doing heroine, drinking, hanging out and listening to their chill music. They did not care to take action about anything. The Velvet Underground was the band they listened to the most and their number one on Spotify is “Oh! Sweet Nothin’.”

Say a word for Jimmy Brown

He ain't got nothing at all

Not a shirt right of his back

He ain't got nothing at all

And say a word for Ginger Brown

Walks with his head down to the ground

Took the shoes right of his feet

To poor boy right out in the street

And this is what he said

Oh sweet nuthin'

She ain't got nothing at all

Oh sweet nutin'

She ain't got nothing at all

It is crazy to me how cool branched out into four very different groups. Up to this point cool had been about private rebellion and had a distinct look, and in 1968 that same cool morphed into varying styles and approaches to life. In 1968 the word cool lost its meaning due to the new wide range of meanings which makes it difficult to pinpoint the real definition. This still holds true today in my opinion. We have so many “cool” things that are not related to one another , that makes you question what really is cool. Just Google “cool” and you will see what I mean. The search brings up cats with glasses, splattered paint, the word cool, basketball shoes, sports cars, “Cool is the new Hot,” the Adidas logo, Cool Whip, a fitness campaign, men’s deodorant, and a baby wearing glasses and drinking a piña colada. The classical meaning of cool has been lost and the word has been adopted to be a catch-all term for things that are liked by all kinds of people.

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Grandmaster Flash 

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Josephine Baker: The World’s Most Genuine Woman

In today’s world there are so many people who project themselves to be very entitled. I believed that this is one of the biggest words used to describe the millennials today. And I have met plenty of people who have this entitled attitude that is expressed in a demanding and rude manner. Yet, I think that deep down all these entitled millennials are feeling quite the opposite. They have a huge feeling of unworthiness. Unworthy of love, respect, approval, success, belonging, happiness; you name it. Of course each of these aforementioned things are relative; what may be considered success to me may not be to someone else, so identify with what you believe to be true to you.

I don’t exclude myself from this feeling of unworthiness. It is a deep-rooted and sometimes subconscious feeling that I have on playback 24/7. I don’t think that this feeling of unworthiness is a natural state of being, but a consequence or a response to negative situations experienced in life, especially during childhood. If you were constantly told by your parents, teachers, coaches, siblings, or friends that you were stupid or lazy or unlovable it is very likely to believe and remind yourself of these untruthful remarks. There are always exceptions though, and Josephine Baker was a very cool lady who always stood by her truth.

What I admire of Josephine Baker is her incredible strength and courage to not succumb to the repressive force being exerted by white Americans. She did not allow herself to adopt that very feeling of worthlessness that the whites were trying to instill into the blacks. She knew in her core that she was so deserving of care, respect, love, and recognition. “I am not intimidated by anyone. Everyone is made with two arms, two legs, a stomach and a head. Just think about that” (Baker). Learning about the life this lady lead is very empowering to me because it truly puts things into perspective and makes me realize that there is no need to accept that little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you are not good enough, smart enough, hot enough, or cool enough. Earlier I was talking about how usually the negative experiences that you have in your childhood tend to haunt you for the rest of your life, but that was not the case for Josephine Baker. When she was a little girl she experienced first-hand the atrocious St. Louise race riots where wrathful whites beat her out of her burning home. Later on, she was constantly bombarded with reminders of her inferiority to whites; the Jim Crow Laws, hate crimes, and continuous slandering. Nonetheless, her subconscious was strong enough and did not decide to tune in to this detrimental frequency. She went out to the streets where the real schooling occurs, as the philosophy of cool suggests. She would watch street dancers and musicians and then imitate them herself with her own comic interpretation. And from the corner where Market and Chestnut street met, Josephine Baker had the first of many opportunities that lead to her magnificent stardom all around the world, especially in France. “I wanted to get away from those who believed in cruelty; so then I went to France, a land of true freedom, democracy, and fraternity” (Baker).

Josephine Baker had the perfect reality to put into practice the acclimation therapy and become comfortable in her own skin; literally comfortable in her own skin as she was a black female. She dressed herself in exotic and enticing outfits with feathers and rhinestones, and at the beginning of her career nearly in the nude. In an interview she was asked why she would dance nearly naked and she responded, “Sure I did. Why not? I was born like that.” You can tell that she was completely comfortable in her own skin in order to move her exposed body in front of millions (that is total control over your body if you ask me). She knew how to be wildly attractive and how to seduce a wide population. “Beautiful? It’s all a question of luck. I was born with good legs. As for the rest… beautiful, no. Amusing, yes” (Baker). Being in the show business calls for knowing how to present yourself well and Josephine Baker did it very well. I don’t think I am at such a comfortable position where I can be naked in front of others, but I definitely like to dress myself up especially if I am feeling down. By doing so I kind of celebrate myself, think higher of myself and consequently feel better.

Another strategy which Josephine utilized to be comfortable in her highly uncomfortable world was through real conversations with others. She thought of every encounter with a stranger as an opportunity to share the love she possessed, with the hope that the stranger would be left with a profound understanding of her burning belief of brotherhood. “We must change the system of education and instruction. Unfortunately, history has shown us that brotherhood must be learned, when it should be natural” (Baker). She modeled exactly what she preached. And I find that to be so extraordinary since so many people claim to be something but when the time comes to demonstrate it they back out because they’re afraid. “Let’s start where we live,” Josephine would say. She believed in equality and this showed in her multiples marriages. “He was my cream, and I was his coffee- And when you put us together, it was something” (Baker). She also adopted twelve children from all over the world and raised them as her own. She named them her Rainbow Tribe. “All my life I have maintained that the people of the world can learn to live together in peace if they are not brought up with prejudice” (Baker). Jean-Claude Baker is the eldest of the Rainbow Tribe and in an interview he was asked how was it growing up in a house filled with so many different kids, and he stated that it was just like in any other household; filled with love and sometimes conflict over trivial things, but no conflict based on how they looked.

This plays into what James Joyce said, I won’t do what I don’t believe. This is a very hard thing to do. I do things I don’t believe in all the time because it is something I should or must do according to my family and culture. And it becomes a question of how much disconnect from belief and action I can tolerate. Josephine is definitely a great example to look up to in this respect. In one of her trips back to the United States she was booked to perform in some of the most popular theaters, but she would not do it unless she performed in front of an integrated audience. During WWII, she spent some time in Morocco entertaining all the soldiers in the same room. This commitment to honor your beliefs despite what others may think or say, is true self-mastery.

Josephine was also a brilliant creator. She found her own way of making something already known to something new and more entertaining. She started off as a chorus girl, but she had her own comic style. She made goofy expressions and pretended to be off-key, this is what originally got her noticed. Her dancing was nothing like the ballet or synchronized dancing people where used to. It was sort of a goofy Charleston, where she would hunch over, stretch out her arms and legs, shake all of her body; it looked very fun. Performing was her way of making her life alright, of getting in her zone and feeling comfortable. Her unconventional way of dancing paired with her extravagant costumes (or no costumes) proved to be a hit for many and a scandal for others. She created something big out of something small and simple. She then began to sing. She was not the greatest singer and had a very distinct accent when singing in French. Even so, it is not about doing something well, but making it new, and Josephine made it fun and had others join in. “I do what I can. I invite people to do it with me getting on stage and forgetting everything. It’s nice from time to time” (Baker). Josephine is much like the Yoruba tribe in the sense that she wants to share her rhythm with others, and wants others to forget their worries and have a great time if only if it is for a few moments.

I would like to think that Josephine Baker’s personae, or who she presents to be in public, is just like her real person. I have really enjoyed learning about such an incredible woman who was able to do as she pleased even though she had everything against her. Now whenever I feel unworthy of anything, I can picture her crossed-eyed smirking expression and smile. And remind myself that love, belonging, and worthiness is a birthright and not something that must be earned or accomplished. This is a very powerful place to be in as it will allow me to be boundless and live by my own truth, just as Josephine Baker did.

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Oh Chad.

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I have been looking into Josephine Baker, the world’s most adored black female celebrity. She was a very interesting character. I watched a documentary about her life and found her to be a very remarkable woman, not only for her outstanding achievements (starring in countless movies with white costars, performing in renowned theaters in France, receiving medals of honor for her support and solidarity to France during WWII, managed to preform in an integrated theater in a segregated America, among other things) but for her way of being. And I admire her very much for it. She was a very strong woman who exemplified integrity in everything she did, especially when it came to racial equality. “All my life I have maintained that the people of the world can learn to live together in peace if they are not brought up with prejudice” (Baker). She modeled exactly what she preached. And I find that to be so extraordinary since so many people claim to be something but when the time comes to demonstrate it they back out because they’re afraid. She was truly a woman of her word. What I find so inspiring of Josephine Baker is that  she embodied the change that she wanted to see in the world (sorry for the cliché). She adopted twelve orphaned children from all over the world and called them her Rainbow Tribe. It is incredible for a single woman who performs constantly and who at the time was going through financial troubles to continue to love and care for twelve children that were not from her womb. And all to show the world that brotherhood is attainable and is actually natural. “We must change the system of education and instruction. Unfortunately, history has shown us that brotherhood must be learned, when it should be natural” (Baker). She sees people for the people they are. My grandma always says that blacks today play a role of victimhood and that they themselves limit their potential in the world, but I don’t think that Josephine Baker would fall under my grandma’s opinion. Josephine Baker was opportunistic, but maybe that has a negative connotation since it sometimes implies that she would do whatever it took to get somewhere even if it meant to throw people under the bus. But opportunistic in the sense that she took any chance she got to make her life a little better, and that is something to be admired. She was not waiting for someone to save her or have the answer be given to her, she was proactive in creating her life. On my last post I talked about how deep down I just want the solution to be given to me so I don't run the risk of failing or of feeling not good enough, but lately I’ve learned that every opportunity I seize will lead to a deeper understanding of myself and my wants, and will eventually lead to a great outcome. And Josephine Baker lived proactively without fearing anyone (at least she did not show any signs of it). “I am not intimidated by anyone. Everyone is made with two arms, two legs, a stomach and a head. Just think about that” (Baker).  

Josephine Baker is also very cool. Since she is a dancer she has absolute control over your body. She danced ever since she was nine-teen until a few days before her death when she was sixty-five, AND she never really lost her body figure to age. “A violinist had a violin, a painter his palette. All I had was myself. I was the instrument that I must care for.” I am in complete agreement with this. I am hearing more about this now because my mom and her friends are nearing the fifties and are terrified with the changes their bodies have gone through because of age. They are constantly telling me to take care of my skin so I don't get too many wrinkles or sunspots when I’m older, or to always exercise to keep my systems going and my body healthy, to always have a balanced diet (not to go to extremes like with the paleo or vegan diets as it may affect your nail or hair growth), etc etc etc. And I not only take care of myself because of the constant advice, but because I love to feel well and energized. JB was completely dependent on her body to earn her living but regardless of being a professional athlete, dancer, accountant, or artist our bodies are vital to our productivity in this world. Another thing she knew how to do very well was how to be wildly attractive. “Beautiful? It’s all a question of luck. I was born with good legs. As for the rest… beautiful, no. Amusing, yes” (Baker). Being in the show business calls for knowing how to present yourself well and JB did it very well. Sometimes when I am feeling down I try to make an effort in dressing nicer than usual, maybe even wearing some make-up. By doing so I kind of celebrate myself, think higher of myself and consequently feel better about myself and improve my mood. In the videos and pictures that I have seen of JB she is always wearing extravagant outfits with feathers and big jewels.

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Cool is only for grown ups

Cool is only for grown ups. But what does it actually mean to be a grown-up to me? I am about to turn twenty, but I dont feel like a twenty-year-old. When I was younger I saw people in their twenties as adults; living alone, working, studying at a university, running errands, going on trips with friends, bing independent. But now that I am here, I have no idea what it means to be an adult. My aunt left her house at 19, got married, and two years later she already has her first son. Those definitely sound like adult responsibilities, but do the responsibilities turn you into an adult? I absolutely most definitely dont picture myself getting married, or having a child, or even moving out of my house. I commute to UM since my family lives nearby and although many people want to leave after high school because their parents are strict and dont let them do anything with their lives, mine are very trusting and are not controlling my every move. And plus my family and I are very close, and I love to spend time with them. Thats not to say that now and again we fight and I get irritated, but 9 out of 10 times I am happy to be close to them (both literally and figuratively). Living at home after graduating from high school is not a big issue in my culture, it’s a normal thing to be enrolled in a university yet still live at home. But living here in the states I see that it is completely the opposite. People need to get away right after high school, they see it as the norm. And I questioned my decision of staying time and time again. Mostly because if I didn’t leave then I was going to miss an opportunity for self-growth, self-discovery which would have finally made me know myself inside and out. But through my friends I have seen quite the contrary. Some have focused 100% on partying and socializing, some have been completely miserable, others who had been extremely shy before broke from their shell and seem more lively and eager to share with others. Another voice in me always reminds me that everyone functions differently, what works/doesn’t work for me may work for others. And I guess that it is a matter of listening to that buried voice within me that really knows my wants, but its just that most times I do not listen. I have not tried to establish a fruitful relationship with myself to actually know what I want. And the twenties are the time where there are so many things that you can experiment with and discover, so just build that intimate relationship with your inner being and get to know yourself and then have it guide you towards the things that do resonate with you. Thinking about it rationally will only bring more thoughts of stress, discomfort, confusions, guilt, a feeling of being a loser, of not following what others are doing. Focus on you, that is what true independence means. Focus on getting to know yourself, on what you like, what you dislike, on the things that you need some work on, on the things that you excel at. I actually want the answer to be given to me. I don’t want to figure it out on my own because of fear of being wrong, or of not getting it right, or of getting in trouble, or of thinking that I may not have a passion for something in this world. But that is not true. I cannot rely so much on what other people tell me about myself because I have that knowledge. I am the primary source, so why not use it? Why go to external sources to determine my choices. I am giving my power away by this. I have to take my power back, take my attention back, take my joy back and truly live from my heart, from my true self who know without a question who I am. To be independent is to be in tune with myself and honoring my choices, wherever they may lead.

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Love yourself enough, that you are willing to stop torturing yourself with negative emotion.

Abraham Hicks 

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Paper 1

The one thing that I’ve learned lately is that everything in this world is relative. Relative because each person has a different set of lenses they wear to look at the world around them. I currently wear the lens my parents gave me (which include their beliefs and fears), the lens of the community I grew up in (which includes school, friends, and other adults), and another lens that I have created with the things that I’ve thought of and have liked (like the teachings of Abraham Hicks, my 11th grade Bio teacher’s advice, and some of what I’ve heard and seen from my parents and friends). A new addition to my collection of lenses has been that of a ‘cool’ lens. This lens has emerged from the beliefs of Fredrick Nietzsche, Lester Young, R.F. Thomson, W.E.B. Dubois, the authors of Cool Rules, Oscar Wilde, and several other individuals. It is challenging to make sense of something when you have so many voices in your head challenging and agreeing with each other. The tough part is having my own voice rise from the chaos to tell me what exactly I believe in. I have contemplated the question of how a person should be, taking into consideration everything that I’ve encountered.

To answer the question of how a person should be is (in my opinion) very personal. It is heavily dependent on the morals and values that the individual grew up with (especially those learned from parents/guardians as they have raised them), his/her own beliefs and opinions, the culture’s belief and moral system, and that person’s awareness of the world’s great diversity in languages, personalities, beliefs, styles, rituals, etc. According to the text Cool Rules, there are four main qualities a cool person embodies; rebellion, hedonism, narcissism, and irony. My parent’s golden rule was and still is, don’t do something that you would not like to be done to you. I have lived by this rule ever since I was born. It has been easy and comfortable to just go by what my parents have told me, but now that I am about to be considered more of a young adult, I have really been questioning my ‘own’ beliefs and more recently those entailed by the cool thinkers that I have studied in class (and I place quotation marks around own because in reality these are beliefs that I have inherited from my environment). As Nietzsche said, “What is needed above all is an absolute skepticism toward all inherited concepts.” Alongside my parent’s golden rule, I now include selfishness, awareness, and compassion.

I was not sure about using selfishness since it has a negative connotation in the world that I perceive. That is a selfishness that is focused on taking away from others or keeping something from others, out of fear that I won’t have enough of something. It is a selfishness that intentionally seeks to affect others in some negative way. But my meaning of selfishness is directed inwards. I want to be selfish for my well-being; which includes my happiness, love, and health. For example, I want to major in something that will I enjoy, not something that my parents want me to do. Or for instance, if I am with a friend that loves to complain, I will probably either not see that friend as often or change the subject, because if I start complaining I will just focus on the annoying and the bad and it will be a never ending pit. In that moment, I have to be selfish and just not buy into something that will make me feel bad, even though society instructs people to bond over tragedies and gossip. This selfishness requires a great deal of strength, as my world pressures me to be altruistic and sacrifice myself for others. I see this selfishness as Nietzsche’s Übermensch. One has to overcome himself (basically overcome the world’s principle of how a person should be) to become a Free puppet who holds his own strings. One who becomes selfish enough to free himself of sacrifice for another has become the puppet who holds his own strings.

Attaining awareness is challenging. I have subconscious habits that do not benefit me; like judgmental self-talk, complaining, uncomfortable feelings, or beliefs that may be limiting my capacity to improve on something. The moment I become aware of it, it can no longer operate on auto pilot. It relates a bit to W.E.B. Du Bois’ idea that when someone is constantly watched, he is forced to keep cool and give his best version without revealing too much. Once I am aware of these behaviors they cannot dictate how I feel. I will have the capability to choose a better feeling thought. Becoming aware of my emotions is the first step towards self-mastery. Once I have attained self-mastery, then I can help others through compassion.

I think that in the world that I perceive compassion and pity are basically the same thing. Having pity for another person only deepens their own feeling of ‘poor me,’ ‘I am hopeless’ and prevents them from moving on. It keeps them from turning their muck into gold. I believe that to have compassion means to try and find the best in me, to then help others realize the best in them. In other words, if I am going to help someone it should come from a place within me that looks to help and equal living a different reality that I am. Because if I help feeling that I am more than, then that already pushes the other person further down and my help will be more of making myself feel important as opposed to help whole-heartedly. The eagerness to help should not come from a place where I believe that I have all the answers and that I have everything figured out (because I certainly do not). My conception of compassion is a process of helping and growing together, each person at his/her own rate; knowing that we are all in it together, but with different realities (girl, boy, rich, poor, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, gay, depressed, sick, happy, divorced, in love, American, French, Australian, etc.). As we saw in R. F. Thomson’s An Aesthetic of the Cool, self-mastery is learning how to be in sync with others; how to build a team of individuals. True compassion seeks to create social cohesion. R. F. Thomson made me think of the African word ‘Ubuntu.’ I am because you are. We are all a part of one big band of individual equals.

Truths are contingent upon how we perceive things since we all grow up with different lenses. I found a quote on tumblr from an unknown author that sums up my idea of relativity. “I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?” I think that we come to this world to live our life, to grow as an individual, and along the way help those that are willing to receive it. But our sole focus should be ‘me.’

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How a person should be (according to Isa)

The one thing that I’ve learned lately is that everything in this world is relative. Relative to how an individual perceives things. It is heavily dependent on the morals and values that the person grew up with (especially those learned from parents or guardians), his or her own beliefs and opinions, the culture’s own belief and moral system, and just how aware that particular person is of the world’s great diversity of languages, personalities, beliefs, styles, rituals, etc. So to answer the question of how a person should be is, in my opinion, is very personal. I have never contemplated my list of top qualities a person should have. At least not my own. I have just followed what my parents always repeated. According to the text Cool Rules, there are four main qualities a ‘cool’ person must embody; rebellion, hedonism, narcissism, and irony. But after much thought, this is what I’ve come up with.

Selfishness: I was not sure about using this particular word since it has such a negative connotation in the world that I perceive. That is a selfishness that is focused on taking away from others or keeping something from others, out of fear that I won’t have enough of something. It is a selfishness that intentionally seeks to affect others in some negative way. But my meaning of selfishness is directed inwards. I want to be selfish for my well being; which includes my happiness, love, and health. For example, I want to major in something that will I enjoy, not something that my parents want me to do. Or for instance, if I am with a friend that loooooooves to complain, I will probably either not see that friend as often or change the subject, because if I start complaining I will just focus on the annoying and the bad and it will be a never ending pit. In that moment, I have to be selfish and just not buy into something that will make me feel bad, even though society instructs people to bond over tragedies and gossip. I have to be selfish and engage with things that make me feel good, or that at least make it alright.    

Awareness: This is challenging. Trying to be aware of the habits that do not benefit me, like judgmental self-talk, complaining (which leads to more and more complaining), any uncomfortable feelings, or beliefs that may be limiting my capacity to improve on something (like maybe believing that I am terrible at math, so I am so focused on that that I close myself off to any improvement). The moment I become aware of it, it can no longer operate on auto pilot. It relates a bit to what we have discussed in class, how ‘cool’ knows that it is constantly being watched, thus forced to keep it cool, to give its best version without revealing to much. Once I am aware of these behaviors they cannot dictate how I feel. I will have the capability to choose a better thought.

Compassion: I think that in the world that I perceive compassion and pity are basically the same thing. Having pity for another person only deepens their own feeling of ‘poor me,’ ‘I am hopeless’ and prevents them from moving on. It keeps them from turning their muck into gold. I believe that to have compassion means to try and find the best in me, to help others realize the best in them. In other words, if I am going to help someone it should come from a place within me that looks to help and equal living a different reality that I am. Because if I help feeling that I am more than, then that already pushes them down even further and my help will be more of making myself feel important than to actually help. The eagerness to help should not come from a place where I believe that I have all the answers and that I have everything figured out (because I certainly do not). My conception of compassion is a process of helping and growing together, each person at his/her own rate; knowing that we are all in it together, but with different realities (girl, boy, rich, poor, black, white, hispanic, asian, gay, depressed, sick, happy, divorced, in love, American, French, Australian, etc.). As we saw in R. F. Thomson’s An Aesthetic of the Cool, self-mastery is learning how to be in sync with others; how to build a team of individuals. True compassion seeks to create social cohesion. R. F. Thomson made me think of the African word ‘Ubuntu.’ I am because you are. We all a part of one big band of equals.