hi im luke im 23 and i make up 75% of the notes on the dalinar big naturals post. follows back from @blackthornass
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Listen I know it’s cliche I know it’s a cremposting staple I know it’s something pointed out as a joke by people who have never in their lives envisioned Dalinar naked in their mind palace. But listen. Dalinar ass is so good sooooooo good. Very clearly muscular but also very clearly fatty like just the perfect storm of BOTH so it’s a wide phat ass but it’s a wide phat ass with substance. And unlike all those jokesters on r/cremposting I WOULD RUN THAT THING INTO THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!‼︎ like oh my god if I had a dick you would not be able to contact me i would just be in Dalinar all the time. Sorry. But its TRUE if dalinar was real id own a strap on. Trust me. Dalinarrrrrrrr
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One time I was having a bad day and I was thinking about Evi and how her life sucked and then she died painfully and I was like wow this is bumming me out…. I should get drunk so I’m not thinking about this….. I’m not beating the Dalinar kinnie accusations
#luke.txt#drunkposting#turning off the reblogs on this one cuz it’s unspeakably embarrassing. god bless.#FOR THE RECORD the urge passed and i did not drink that day
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kaladin and szeth do have a few things in common. for one thing they are both people who, when asked what their "body count" is, would start listing people they've killed
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Titrating up from 60 proof to 70 proof is doing a number on me. Properly tipsy on shot 5 so beautiful. Dalinar says this except Dalinar is talking about going up from. Hey wait during OB 100 Dalinar went straight from 6 Years No Drinking all the way up to violet wine? Violet “probably about 100 proof” wine? And he didn’t die to death or get too drunk too fast? Everyone shut up this post is now about how Dalinar Kholin did not practice safe drinking practices when he relapsed. For shame. Let’s all tsk tsk at him. Fuck the war crimes this is the worst thing he did
#luke.txt#drunkposting#I’m having the BEST dopamine day btw#I think that drinking once every other day is the way to go. I hope I can stick to that
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See I know Harry Potter conditioned all of you to think if an evil guy has long hair it’s automatically greasy but I just don’t think Sadeas has greasy hair. I just don’t. He’s very vain, he cares a hell of a fuck of a lot about how he’s perceived, he’s rich, he takes care of himself. This guy has a 14 step hair care routine. This guy has flawless hair. I think you guys might all be thinking of Kaladin, who spends 4 books suicidally depressed and thus probably doesn’t wash his hair nearly as often as he’s supposed to
#luke.txt#because. as a reminder. personal cleanliness and hygiene is not actually an indicator of morality
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Call Rathalas Corpus Christi the way Dalinar made those corpses crispy
#this is the kind of thing that like Sadeas or something would say to dalinar during the vengeance pact to try to get him upset#but the Nightwatcher curse means he can’t hear any of it so he just sort of goes ‘yeah she was beautiful wasn’t she? :)’#cuz he assumes they’re talking about his wife#and the other person goes oh he’s SENILE senile
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If i was better at mimicking art style id draw Blackthorn Dalinar and (Ialai? Navani? Whoever is doing the History of Alethi Unification) as the minigame from rhythm heaven fever where it’s the wrestler getting interviewed after a match
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Raboniel, finally.
I kinda didnt try on this im just happy shes done, her 3d model is a beast fr why did i do that to myself.
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extremely funny that in retrospect, what with the canonization of the alethi viewing adoption and appointing an adult to be heir post hoc being exactly as valid as having your official wife give birth to a son, the canon reason for the sadeases not having any kids is probably "they didnt want to deal with the variables involved with having a child who ends up with a personality not suited for ruling the way they wanted (not ruthless enough, too sympathetic to the plight of other human beings, etc) and so figured that once they got around potential bucket-kicking age they could appoint whoever the guy who is closest to their vision of running things to the position of heir. also being as horny for each other as they are while also very explicitly never wanting kids is probably subconsciously viewed as Evil and Sinister to brandon)". Mystery Solved i guess
#luke.txt#of course the answer in my heart will always be 'they were both take it or leave it wrt having kids#but sadeas was trans so like they couldn't actually procreate with each other. they hadn't invented a strap that gets you pregnant yet'#wat spoilers#kowt spoilers#wind and truth spoilers
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kaladin and szeth do have a few things in common. for one thing they are both people who, when asked what their "body count" is, would start listing people they've killed
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the net suffering from Getting Drunk Always and Never Getting Drunk Ever is about equal but they’re very different flavors. After the initial Just Quit Hell On Earth clears Never Drinking Ever is a low level misery that is bearable bearable bearable until suddenly after putting up with it long enough it isn’t and I just fucking break. When I’m back in the pit proper I generally feel Much Worse sober and [25% chance Really Fucking Happy And In Love With Life, 25% chance miserable but in an easier to process way than sober, 50% chance mildly happy and/or largely neutral but feeling better because the craving has been sated] drunk
#luke.txt#so basically: I can never win#did not drink at all on 5/27 but in my time zone it’s 5/28 now and good god I am feeling The Urge#I really shouldn’t though. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow
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the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.
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Shes back in the skies.
Lady Leshwi for the brain
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goofy lookin evil ass…who the fuck makes an evil version of their old clothes bro…stupid mf…moash please come home
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its always "ohh the son turned out gay because his dad never spent enough time with him" and never that maybe the dad just didnt like hanging out with him because he already had a gay/stupid vibe to begin with?
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Was commissioned to illustrate this emotional scene from Oathbringer for a client a while back. They’ve decided to not respond to any of my messages, so I don’t think I’m ever getting paid for it.
Joy.
I’m fond of it, so I hope some of you out there can derive some happiness from it where my client apparently couldn’t.
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