hi im luke im 23 and i make up 75% of the notes on the dalinar big naturals post. follows back from @blackthornass
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Realizing that DALINAR he doesnāt get it he died promptly before he could relapse againā¦ā¦. Well. Dalinar. I am thinking of you. Hairy. Large. Big of belly. I know Iām like blackout wasted rn BUT. Dalinar your stupid big huge large sexy belly that I am unable to do body shots off of because you are not real. Well I am filled with SO MUCH ENVY. Trust me give me like a month or two and I will be filling āvodka bellyā. I will be filling ānone of the clothes I own from post me losing weight when I quit drinking will fit bc I started drinking again and I got certified mega fat after thatā. But. Thatās ok. I think overall it makes me more of a sex symbol. I donāt actually want it to happen irl but I fantasize about having so much of a belly that i donāt have a lap anymore. Because itās been taken over by my big huge large belly. Sorry.
#nsfw text#I dunno. sorry.#trying my best to not brush up against tumblrās guidelines#such is life when you have an Eating Insane Amounts kink#whenever someone compares some sex act to food Iām like heh. heheheh.#but whatever <3#luke.txt#drunkposting
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Ohhhh washed up dilf era dalinar⦠big of bellyā¦. SO depressedā¦ā¦ heās a sex symbol. Heās a poor little meow meow left out in the rain. So true. SO true.
#luke.txt#drunkposting#apologies for me. I am wasted rn.#do I feel a titch of shame at being sober for over a hundred days and then succumbing hard? yeah#do I feel a titch of shame that when I went to the liquor store yesterday the cashier didnāt ID me because she remembered me? yeah </3#but we continue. we soldier on#dalinar: you are big. and sexy. I love you. if you had relapsed wholesale before you died we should have kissed with tongue#Iām not tagging this for spoilers my spoiler period ends in about a week. sorry.#if youāre still following me and you havenāt finished wat itās on you quite frankly
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Listen I know itās cliche I know itās a cremposting staple I know itās something pointed out as a joke by people who have never in their lives envisioned Dalinar naked in their mind palace. But listen. Dalinar ass is so good sooooooo good. Very clearly muscular but also very clearly fatty like just the perfect storm of BOTH so itās a wide phat ass but itās a wide phat ass with substance. And unlike all those jokesters on r/cremposting I WOULD RUN THAT THING INTO THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!ā¼ļø like oh my god if I had a dick you would not be able to contact me i would just be in Dalinar all the time. Sorry. But its TRUE if dalinar was real id own a strap on. Trust me. Dalinarrrrrrrr
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One time I was having a bad day and I was thinking about Evi and how her life sucked and then she died painfully and I was like wow this is bumming me outā¦. I should get drunk so Iām not thinking about thisā¦.. Iām not beating the Dalinar kinnie accusations
#luke.txt#drunkposting#turning off the reblogs on this one cuz itās unspeakably embarrassing. god bless.#FOR THE RECORD the urge passed and i did not drink that day
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kaladin and szeth do have a few things in common. for one thing they are both people who, when asked what their "body count" is, would start listing people they've killed
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Titrating up from 60 proof to 70 proof is doing a number on me. Properly tipsy on shot 5 so beautiful. Dalinar says this except Dalinar is talking about going up from. Hey wait during OB 100 Dalinar went straight from 6 Years No Drinking all the way up to violet wine? Violet āprobably about 100 proofā wine? And he didnāt die to death or get too drunk too fast? Everyone shut up this post is now about how Dalinar Kholin did not practice safe drinking practices when he relapsed. For shame. Letās all tsk tsk at him. Fuck the war crimes this is the worst thing he did
#luke.txt#drunkposting#Iām having the BEST dopamine day btw#I think that drinking once every other day is the way to go. I hope I can stick to that
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See I know Harry Potter conditioned all of you to think if an evil guy has long hair itās automatically greasy but I just donāt think Sadeas has greasy hair. I just donāt. Heās very vain, he cares a hell of a fuck of a lot about how heās perceived, heās rich, he takes care of himself. This guy has a 14 step hair care routine. This guy has flawless hair. I think you guys might all be thinking of Kaladin, who spends 4 books suicidally depressed and thus probably doesnāt wash his hair nearly as often as heās supposed to
#luke.txt#because. as a reminder. personal cleanliness and hygiene is not actually an indicator of morality
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Call Rathalas Corpus Christi the way Dalinar made those corpses crispy
#this is the kind of thing that like Sadeas or something would say to dalinar during the vengeance pact to try to get him upset#but the Nightwatcher curse means he canāt hear any of it so he just sort of goes āyeah she was beautiful wasnāt she? :)ā#cuz he assumes theyāre talking about his wife#and the other person goes oh heās SENILE senile
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If i was better at mimicking art style id draw Blackthorn Dalinar and (Ialai? Navani? Whoever is doing the History of Alethi Unification) as the minigame from rhythm heaven fever where itās the wrestler getting interviewed after a match
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Raboniel, finally.
I kinda didnt try on this im just happy shes done, her 3d model is a beast fr why did i do that to myself.
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extremely funny that in retrospect, what with the canonization of the alethi viewing adoption and appointing an adult to be heir post hoc being exactly as valid as having your official wife give birth to a son, the canon reason for the sadeases not having any kids is probably "they didnt want to deal with the variables involved with having a child who ends up with a personality not suited for ruling the way they wanted (not ruthless enough, too sympathetic to the plight of other human beings, etc) and so figured that once they got around potential bucket-kicking age they could appoint whoever the guy who is closest to their vision of running things to the position of heir. also being as horny for each other as they are while also very explicitly never wanting kids is probably subconsciously viewed as Evil and Sinister to brandon)". Mystery Solved i guess
#luke.txt#of course the answer in my heart will always be 'they were both take it or leave it wrt having kids#but sadeas was trans so like they couldn't actually procreate with each other. they hadn't invented a strap that gets you pregnant yet'#wat spoilers#kowt spoilers#wind and truth spoilers
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kaladin and szeth do have a few things in common. for one thing they are both people who, when asked what their "body count" is, would start listing people they've killed
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the net suffering from Getting Drunk Always and Never Getting Drunk Ever is about equal but theyāre very different flavors. After the initial Just Quit Hell On Earth clears Never Drinking Ever is a low level misery that is bearable bearable bearable until suddenly after putting up with it long enough it isnāt and I just fucking break. When Iām back in the pit proper I generally feel Much Worse sober and [25% chance Really Fucking Happy And In Love With Life, 25% chance miserable but in an easier to process way than sober, 50% chance mildly happy and/or largely neutral but feeling better because the craving has been sated] drunk
#luke.txt#so basically: I can never win#did not drink at all on 5/27 but in my time zone itās 5/28 now and good god I am feeling The Urge#I really shouldnāt though. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow
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the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.
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Shes back in the skies.
Lady Leshwi for the brain
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goofy lookin evil assā¦who the fuck makes an evil version of their old clothes broā¦stupid mfā¦moash please come home
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