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Amor, ch’a nullo amato amar perdona, mi prese del costui piacer sì forte, che, come vedi, ancor non m’abbandona.

Inferno V100, Dante

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Whatever that is, don't come at from fear because fear will destroy you.

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#cherryblossom

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A part of being an adult is living with regret and not allowing it to consume you. The older you get, the more mistakes you’ve made, opportunities you’ve missed, people you’ve disappointed. And every day you have to remind yourself to be kind and forgiving of yourself. You accept and love the you from the past and understand that it’s all a part of the process. Then you move on and live your best life, knowing now as old as you feel today, you’ll never be this young again.

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Closure

I believe my time with DF has come to an end. The differences are unreconcilable; I was emotionally unable to be the submissive he had envisioned me to be. There is really no point in keeping seeing each other. That said, I'm grateful for having met him. Not only he enlightened me sexually but also helped build confidence in me. Best wishes to both of us in exploring what we seek.

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Some Thoughts on Relationship and Marriage

Since I talked to JC about not being into “relationship kind of shit”, it dawned on me that it might be the truth of me.

As far as I can recall, I have never really been dedicated one hundred percent to a relationship. Just like DF asked me whether I was attracted to some guy, that feeling of “attraction” is unknown to me. What’s like to be attracted to someone else? I failed to find an immediate answer. I like spending time with people I like, like being in general term. On the other hand I also enjoy being with myself. I’d like to see myself as emotionally independent. 

At my age, friends and relatives are busy setting me up with all sorts of guys, never really caring about what I want or need, which to be honest is something I’m still trying to realize for sure. Despite the good intentions of others, it’s hard for me to settle just because it’s about time or there’s no perfect guy/marriage. Why should I settle? How could I reduce myself to a situation where I neither have the confidence or am provided with it to settle for someone in the life to come. It’s too much to ask of a pessimist who believes only in herself.

However, I’m not saying marriage is undesirable. I would still enshrine the hope of meeting some who will give me the confidence to overcome the uncertainties while enjoying my single life as much as I can.

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You release You give yourself away To the rhythms of the world adored by the sun's rays What's left to do, to feel it all You're alive now to die as dust Nothing less as something more

"Aloha" lyrics written by Jeremy Souillart (a.k.a. Møme)

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(via https://open.spotify.com/track/7IfOWyh4jTfkcGVrXKVNq0)

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Anticipation

Anticipation is the hardest. 

All kinds of thoughts have been buzzing in my head for 2 days. It’s overwhelming. 

I need to take a break from it.  Let whatever takes it course. I just don’t want to think any more.

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pretend-to-be archeologist #siemreap #angkorwattours #beautifulseasia #cambodia #prerup #ancientangkor

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#angkorwat #siemreap #southeastasia #temples （在 Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia）

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"Got the music in you, baby. Tell me why." So beautify. Always wanted to find someone who has music and poetry in them.

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#floraldesign

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Dare to think for yourself.

Voltaire (via macadameia)

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A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

Sensei Ogui, Zen Shin Talks  (via themotivationjournals)