isurvivedthesnap

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when you get new followers

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me: idk i just keep to myself i guess i don’t really like sharing personal stuff with people

me after 10pm: it all started when my cat ran away when i was 5,

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in class

me: *smiles*

teacher: why u smiling

me: nothing

me (in my mind):

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my party trick is wearing cool socks so people come up to me and say “hey man cool socks”

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person: you're pretty cool!

me: oh my god prepare to be very disappointed

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must a movie be good? is it not enough to see Jake Gyllenhaal, unhinged?

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we stan the right man

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my life is constantly just an inner monologue of “why did I do that”

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‪god I can’t wait for g*ame of thrones to be over like culturally can’t wait to move on‬

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marvel studios: and then, chris evans IMPROVISED the line “I am steve rogers !” He talked to groot! ha ha pretty wild and silly huh : )

venom production team: yeah tom hardy just fucking climbed in the tank and ate a live lobster do we look like we know how to manage him

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I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

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if you brought shakespeare back to life and showed him the lion king i bet he’d be like “this shit fucks why didn’t anyone tell me i could use lions” 

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Just gonna say: There is literally no romance in Thor: Ragnarok. No romance subplots, no kissing. The closest thing to it is when Hulk sees part of a video of Black Widow and it turns him back into Bruce Banner. Besides that? Nothing. It was awesome.

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I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

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Listen up. There is literally an app that can help you avoid self harm and I don’t know why we aren’t talking about it.

Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.

It’s also totally FREE.

once again, it’s called CALM HARM

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Literally most confusing thing in infinity war was the stress over saving vision. Like download his brain back onto a computer and put it in a robot body later if your that heated. Half the universe gonna die and we are working this hard to save a robot who consents to dying and everyone just goes with it smh.

Honestly I hate to admit it but Vision was probably the most sensible one in the whole ass movie because he was the only one who was like “guys literally just kill me.. what do you mean we don’t trade lives steve that’s literally so fucking hypocritical you already tried to trade your own life in p much every movie have you even been paying attention?? Literally just fucking kill me you guys why are we even having this discussion the whole universe is gonna die and suddenly y’all care about ethics what the fuck”

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Peter: At least if I die I’ll be doing something I love.

Tony, a baby boomer: being a hero?

Peter, a gen Z: no, dying.