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We looked inside some of the posts by itmepix-blog and here's what we found interesting.
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17
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12.05 wow wow wow this weekend is going to be a lot of fun and i have to somehow balance the fun with all of the work i have due next week. it’s finals ! it’s stress !! it’s help me help myself time !!!!!!!
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12.02 it’s wild bc i find ‘other’ things to get done instead of the things that i should be working on. it’s only wild bc should has to be defined and it’s relative. i have a lot to do. a lot has been stacked up and up bc i haven’t been ready or in the right state of mind to get these things done. since they don’t necessarily need to be done asap and i mean out of sight out of mind. it’s not ideal but it makes me feel better when i get other shit done...it’s harder to do the more pressing things but it’s also the pressing things that will fuck me up if they are not finished...especially if they are not finished on time. i’m still getting the hang of it all but yo one thing at a time bruv. WHEN i get through school i can stabilize myself and regain control !!!!!!!
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11.30 it’s almost over. i feel the same but it’s also different. idk man it’s being worked on ok.
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11.26 so i didn’t eat anything and got too high and here i am throwing up at 1am after doing a million hw. it’s like the world realised i was super exhausted and stressed...so it tried to test me BUT IM STILL HERE AND IM STILL trying TO GET SHIT DONE
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11.24 i don’t really want to say anything. i’m working on it i’m working on it. i didn’t turn my grad stuff in so next semester it is. that’s ok, right?
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11.23 so since it is no longer t giving it must be xmas instantly !!!! let the holiday cheer begin. it’s going to be a rough one bc ya boiii is broke as fuck and can’t splurge on everyone to make them + me feel better :/
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11.22 i missed a week of school, cool. i tried to only miss two days but the fires stopped me from another day of school and one day of work too. dude i feel like i work too much but i don’t ever have enough money. it’s taking it’s toll and i feel so out of it so often...i’m only 25. something has to change man.
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11.21 so my grandmother passed away. i don’t know man. i feel like i’m really good at accepting the absolute but i also don’t feel that sadness that you’re ‘supposed’ to feel with death and other sad things. is it me not being able to tap into those feels? am i keeping myself from those feelings? am i unconsciously trying to protect myself? idk idk idk. i’m ok though so that’s good. gotta learn to trust myself like i used to but also be open to not being right. call myself out man.
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11.20 it’s going to be secret santa at work on campus. i have two jobs and i refer to everything in such a generalized way. idk why i’m so vague...my father didn’t like people knowing extra information...its a need to know type basis but i feel like i’m so liberal with that info...even though i keep to myself and don’t talk about any of it. i’m slowly figuring out my own feels about things i have not let myself think about. even this is vague. i’m working on it though.
ps DONT LEAVE THINGS FOR THE LAST SECOND PLS FOR THE LOVE OF YOURSELF PLS STOP DOING THIS
pps YOU FUCKING KNOW BETTER MAN
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11.17 these fires are bad. the us is not doing too hot but it’s real hot up in ca. i have no money. food is hard. i want to take care of myself but it gets harder and harder at such a wild rate. it’s not always hard but the good doesn’t happen as often and fast as the hard. it doesn’t last as long as the hard either. i am catching up on a lot of life and am definitely getting to do the things that i may have been really struggling with recently. the things that i am not handling i’m at least aware of now. it’s good to be aware.
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11.15 k took this. i think i look good. class is hard but i enjoy it for the most part. i’m still stressed but i’m starting to get sad about being done. it’s like i will miss the knowing what i need to do feeling. gotta step up and put myself out there. it’s the beginning of the rest maaaan it’s going to get better and better and better till forever.
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11.13 time with k is hard bc i like it but i also sort of know that i won’t like it forever? but isn’t it crazy to think that already? i have no idea what the future holds but i’m sure that i don’t want it to be with her? or d? or anyone i know rn? why am i no longer in tune with my feels? let’s figure it out.
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11.12 what was that about cutting time with k? been frustrated with her and her friend, a. it’s gr8 bc she is nonstop convincing me that nothing is going on while it seems like her friend is trying to make it seem like there is. lol idk idc i’ll be cool chillin maxin relaxin either way. yo but these fires is damn bad. bless up @ butte county
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11.11 make a damn wish. what’s new? i’m still tired. I have been good though. i’ve cut time with k down and am trying to focus on school but also focus on me. i feel productive but i also fuck up because i’ll feel ‘accomplished’ when i get like two things done LOL i have already started thinking about how i can get my life together after graduation. I ALSO AM OK WITH KNOWING THAT I HAVE AND PROBABLY STILL AM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION BUT YA BOIII IS DEFINITELY SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY FOREVER ALWAYS FUUUUCK ANXIETY THO WE WILL GET THROUGH IT scratch that I WILL GET THROUGH IT
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11.10 ok so i’m trying to plan out what i need to do and by when for finals. stress stress stress is the name of the game BUT I KNOW I CAN DO THIS !! Just got a whole lot of shit on my plate. How do i feel about k? family? d? me? who the fuck knows.
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11.09
school is cool and i’ve really been thinking about what life will be like when it’s over. i really am ready for it to end because i’m so tired and exhausted and feel like i have no real time for anything because i’m always so stressed. i always have a million things to do. with school out of the way i’ll have more time but i’ll also have no cemented direction...it’ll be interesting.
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