its-kale-chip
its-kale-chip
Kale Chip’s Blog
813 posts
Hi! I’m kale (she/her). This blog has no general theme, just sporadic updates in my life and revolved posts from different fandoms im in. You are amazing and I hope you have a lovely day, I love you ❤️❤️
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its-kale-chip · 4 days ago
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God forbid a girl ask clarifying questions
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its-kale-chip · 2 months ago
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sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit
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its-kale-chip · 5 months ago
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“what’s your tumblr?” not unless you get real cool with a bunch of stuff really quickly
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its-kale-chip · 5 months ago
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So maybe kissing isn’t as bad as I once feared?
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its-kale-chip · 5 months ago
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Lamarck is like, "Enjolras, I’m dying. Please stop beatboxing”
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its-kale-chip · 5 months ago
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Enjolras may have died at the barricade but at least he served cunt doing it
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its-kale-chip · 5 months ago
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I didn’t know my heart could feel this sad
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its-kale-chip · 6 months ago
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What is James free of and why does it affect his jewelry?
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its-kale-chip · 7 months ago
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i love the never kill your self meme like yeah joy can be found in humble places peace and love on planet earth
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its-kale-chip · 8 months ago
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Background Noise
It's been so long I almost don't remember how to do this.
Hiiiii sorry I've been MIA, it's an election year. You know how it goes. Anyway, here's a little something as proof of life. Love you all for sticking with me. I'll be back when I can.
E/R, modern AU, developing relationship. And all of the fluff.
Enjolras finished the sentence he was typing and sat back in his chair, reading through the paragraph he’d just written with a furrowed brow. Well, it wasn’t the best writing he’d ever done, but considering it was a filler paragraph in the middle of a letter to local elected officials that would almost certainly never be read by anyone other than some low level staffer or intern, it would have to do.
He sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face, his hand stilling when he caught what someone was saying nearby. “...Despite the immense popularity of the campaign, sales of Energizer batteries actually went down during the years that the ads ran. Duracell claimed—”
Enjolras lowered his hand to frown at Grantaire, seated at a nearby table in the back room of the Musain and still blithely rambling without looking up from his phone. “What are you doing?” he interrupted, equally parts confused and incredulous.
Grantaire broke off and glanced up at him, and Enjolras noted that he didn’t even have the good grace to look abashed. “Reading the Wikipedia entry for the Energizer Bunny.”
As if that was an even remotely normal thing to be doing. “Why?” Enjolras sighed, rubbing his forehead.
Grantaire shrugged. “Seemed appropriate,” he said cheerfully. “You know, because he—” He broke off, making a face. “It? They?”
“I don’t think the pronouns of a corporate marketing campaign are really relevant,” Enjolras said dryly.
Grantaire raised both eyebrows, amused. “Oh, so respect for pronouns is conditional now. I see how it is.”
Enjolras ground his teeth together. “I didn’t say that—”
“Anyway,” Grantaire continued, ignoring him, “like I said, seemed appropriate because the Energizer Bunny just keeps on going and going and going and going—”
“Yeah, I get the idea,” Enjolras said waspishly. “But why are you reading it out loud?”
Grantaire just shrugged again. “Why not?”
Honestly, Enjolras wasn’t even sure what answer he expected, and he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is this something that you do often?”
Grantaire scratched his cheek as he considered it. “Define ‘often’.”
Enjolras gave him a look. “Grantaire.”
Grantaire grinned, that slightly crooked grin that inevitably heralded him saying something that would piss Enjolras off. “Sometimes, when you’re otherwise occupied and slash or completely lost to the world, it’s a fun little thing I like to do.” His grin widened. “Or at least, it’s fun seeing how long it takes for you to notice.”
It spoke volumes that Enjolras wasn’t even remotely surprised. “Of course.”
“It’s a drinking game,” Grantaire added brightly. “Or at least, I drink while I play it, so that counts, right?”
“Of fucking course,” Enjolras sighed, even less surprised by that. “I should point out that by that logic, and I use the word as loosely as the English language allows, any game you drink while playing is a drinking game.”
Grantaire’s grin sharpened into a smirk. “This is exactly what I’ve been saying! I just think—”
But Enjolras cut him off, far too used to Grantaire’s ability to take a tangent and turn it into a diatribe until someone interrupted him or he otherwise got bored. “As fascinating as it always is to learn how you choose to spend your time, you’re going to have to knock it off.”
“Why?”
Enjolras bit back his immediate response that it was because it was annoying as hell. “Because it’s distracting,” he said instead.
“Of course,” Grantaire said, with a wry twist of his lips. “Heaven forbid I distract the Noble Leader from his all-important work.”
He doffed an invisible cap to Enjolras, who felt strangely tongue-tied and wrong-footed, the way only Grantaire ever seemed to be able to make him. “I didn’t mean—” he started, but Grantaire cut him off.
“I suppose it’s about time I head home, anyway.”
Enjolras glanced down at the time on his phone and then back at Grantaire, frowning. “You’re heading home before midnight?”
“Sorry, did I say head home?” Grantaire asked, draining his beer and setting it back down on the table with a thud to shrug his coat on. “I meant to another bar.”
Enjolras rolled his eyes and looked back down at his computer. “That sounds more like it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Goodnight, Grantaire.”
But despite his rather pointed farewell, Grantaire didn’t leave, instead lingering for long enough that Enjolras glanced back up at him, his brow furrowing. Just when he was about to ask what was wrong, Grantaire gave him another smile, smaller and tighter this time. “Goodnight, Enjolras,” he said, finally turning and leaving, dropping his beer bottle in the recycling as he did.
Enjolras stared after him for a long moment before shaking his head to clear it and looking stubbornly back at the letter. Ten minutes of staring at it without adding a single word later, he sighed and shut his laptop with a snap. 
Typical Grantaire, he thought sourly to himself as he grabbed his bag to pack up all of his things, somehow finding a way to annoy him without even being physically present.
He’d just have to try to work on it again the following night, ideally without the dulcet sounds of the Energizer Bunny Wikipedia entry. 
Of course, knowing Grantaire, he’d find a new way to annoy him anyway.
— — — — —
Just as Enjolras suspected, the next night seemed like a repeat of a thousand nights that preceded it. After the Les Amis meeting wrapped up, Grantaire lingered while everyone else dispersed, leaning back in his chair to prop his feet on the chair next to him, sipping from his beer as he scrolled through his phone. 
But at least he was mercifully silent while doing so, which Enjolras would take as a win.
For his own part, Enjolras settled in to finish the letter, all too aware that it needed to go out sometime the next day. He worked better with a deadline, after all, so finishing it up should have been a breeze.
Unfortunately, Enjolras instead found himself unable to concentrate, glancing at his phone and clicking over to Twitter as if it would somehow have updated in the prior thirty seconds. He didn’t know what was wrong with him, and he rubbed his face vigorously with both hands as if that might somehow get him to concentrate.
It didn’t.
Instead, Enjolras sat back in his seat, scowling. He was in his favorite place to do work, he’d had the perfect amount of caffeine so he was alert but not jittery, and yet he couldn’t force himself to actually get anything done. It was almost like something was missing, something in the back of his mind that kept him on task, or—
His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing as he looked over at Grantaire, who was still conspicuously quiet. “That thing you do,” Enjolras said, and Grantaire glanced up at him. “Where you say stupid shit while I’m not paying attention?”
“Yeah?” Grantaire said cautiously.
“I realize I didn’t actually define often,” Enjolras said. “So, uh, would you say that this is a daily occurrence?”
Grantaire looked amused. “Would you say that you ignoring me is a daily occurrence?” he asked, saccharine sweet.
“Yes.”
Grantaire grinned. “Well, there’s your answer.”
Enjolras shook his head slowly. “Fucking Christ,” he muttered, running a hand across his face before straightening his shoulders. “Right. Well, you can do it again.”
Grantaire’s grin faded, just slightly. “Do what again?” he asked.
“Talk, or read out loud, or whatever other stupid shit you try to get away with without me noticing,” Enjolras said, something resigned in his tone.
Grantaire blinked. “Really?” he asked, equal parts amused and skeptical.
Enjolras shrugged helplessly. “What can I say,” he muttered, well aware he was blushing and equally aware that Grantaire would undoubtedly use this against him at some point in the future, “I’ve apparently gotten so good at tuning you out after all these years that you’ve essentially become a really effective white noise machine.”
He half-expected him to feign offense at that, but Grantaire just laughed, the sound bright and genuine. “Well, at least you can no longer say I’m completely useless,” he said, and Enjolras rolled his eyes, even if he couldn’t quite stop his answering smile.
“No, I guess I can’t,” he agreed. He hesitated before asking, “So will you read to me? Whatever nonsense you’ve been reading, or anything you like?”
Grantaire’s expression softened, just slightly. “For you?” he asked, with none of his usual sardonic sharpness. “I think I can manage that.”
He picked his phone up again and cleared his throat before reading out loud, “Neither Kamala Harris nor Donald Trump is campaigning on the coming ‘tax cliff,’ which is rarely mentioned in their paid messaging or stump speeches. In their only debate, Harris talked about taxes far more than Trump, who only mentioned them twice — once to deny that his tariffs amounted to a “tax” on consumers, and once to promise future tax cuts, without much detail.”
Enjolras had been expecting another stupid Wikipedia entry, or maybe something equally inane from Reddit. He hadn’t expected a news article, and even less a news article about politics, one of many things Grantaire always professed not to care about.
He was out of his chair before he even realized it, crossing over to Grantaire. “Let me see that,” he said, reaching for Grantaire’s phone. Grantaire raised both eyebrows but nonetheless handed it over, standing and crossing his arms in front of his chest as Enjolras scrolled through the article in question, his brow furrowing. He glanced back up at Grantaire. “You were really reading this?”
Grantaire shrugged and reached out for his phone. “How else am I supposed to be able to effectively argue with you?” he asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it was as obvious as Grantaire saying God only knew what while Enjolras tuned him out.
Enjolras felt a slow smile stretch across his face, and instead of handing Grantaire his phone back, he closed the space between them and kissed him.
For one long moment, Grantaire was perfectly still, but then he kissed Enjolras back, wrapping his arms around Enjolras waist and opening his mouth against Enjolras’s. 
Then, without warning, Grantaire pulled away. “What?” Enjolras asked, just this side of breathless.
“You need to finish that by tomorrow,” Grantaire said, nodding toward Enjolras’s laptop.
“Are you really trying to be the responsible one right now?” Enjolras asked, grinning.
“Yes,” Grantaire said, suddenly serious. “I’m not giving you any excuse to blame me, or this, for fucking things up.”
Enjolras scowled. “I wouldn’t—” he started, and when Grantaire just gave him a look, he held his hands up and laughed. “Fine, I probably would.”
Grantaire nodded. “And I definitely don’t want to give you a reason not to do that again,” he said, smiling that crooked smile again, and it took everything in Enjolras not to kiss him again. 
“Fine,” he sighed instead, tearing his eyes away. “But I still need you to keep reading something.” He paused and made a face. “Not that article, though, I really don’t need to hear about fucking Trump right now.”
“Fine by me,” Grantaire said, taking his phone back from Enjolras. His thumbs flashed across the keyboard as he typed something and then he settled back down into a chair, one conspicuously closer to Enjolras and farther from his beer. 
Again he cleared his throat, only this time, he read, “The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity. The petitioners in these cases seek to find that liberty by marrying someone of the same sex and having their marriages deemed lawful on the same terms and conditions as marriages between persons of the opposite sex.”
Enjolras would’ve recognized those words anywhere. "Obergefell v. Hodges?” he asked, amused, shaking his head fondly. “God, you’re such a nerd."
Grantaire glanced up at him. “Takes one to know one,” he said, sticking his tongue out, and Enjolras barked a laugh and shook his head once more before finally returning to his work as Grantaire continued reading, his voice a soothing background to the sound of Enjolras’s typing, the way it had been for years now without him ever noticing.
But he noticed now.
And since he did notice, he had a brand new motivation to get through his work in a timely manner. 
And judging by the grin that Grantaire still wore, he knew it, too.
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its-kale-chip · 8 months ago
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People who say size doesn’t matter have never been to an ice cream shop
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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Yep. This is exactly how it went down.
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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Love it when squirrels try to scare me away by making the bushes shake like I’m glad someone thinks I’m worth their time
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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everyone in this show has the smallest cars ive ever seen
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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A little aroace dragon to start Aro Week 2024 🧡💛🤍🩵💙
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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sorry about that—
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its-kale-chip · 9 months ago
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Just breathe. Heartstopper Season 3 is back and now playing, only on netflix.
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