its-mirandies

[its-mirandies]

20 Low effort meaningful comments to leave on fics when you can’t think of anything to say that most authors love and appreciate (and you will too).

1.) Thank you for writing this!

2.) This really helped distract me from the horrors of reality, thank you for writing it!

3.) I really really really loved this.

4.) <3

5.) Literal keyboard mash q3kjt2uh0erjiurjfnejkrgnkejoiiueirnf!!!!

6.) My favorite part was when they ____.

7.) I laughed at ____.

8.) How dare you! /affectionate.

9.) I am very excited to read this story in its entirety!

10.) I really enjoyed the first __ chapters, I cannot wait for more!

11.) This gave me everything I was hoping for!

12.) 10/10 fic, thanks for writing!

13.) I am going to be thinking about this fic for a long time, thank you for writing!

14.) This made me feel a lot of emotions and I cannot describe them, so thank you for that. I really enjoyed this.

15.) This was the best ride I haven taken in a long time, wow! Thank you for writing this.

16.) If I had the ability to bind this as a real book I would, I loved it so much.

17.) I'm not good with words but I just loved this so much.

18.) This is complete perfection.

19.) I am in awe of how you described ____.

20.) This means so much to me that you wrote this. Thank you.

The more you comment, the better you will get at it and the more enjoyment and fulfillment you will received out of saying thank you.

[its-mirandies]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

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“I choose you over everyone.”

— Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl

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“If the highest aim of a captain was to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever.”

— Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica

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“It’s better to be your genuine self, and have fewer of the right kinds of people in your life, than it is to surround yourself with those who only accept you as long as you conform to their idea of who you should be.”

— Zero Dean

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[its-mirandies]

Sometimes your worst fears are true. Sometimes you’ve annoyed a loved one. Sometimes you’ve even upset them or frustrated them.

But you know what? It doesn’t mean they’re done with you. It doesn’t mean they’re going to leave you.

It is normal to be annoying sometimes. It’s normal to not be perfect and to have off days. It’s normal for relationships to not be in perfect harmony all the time.

My point here is, yes, while sometimes they are true, it isn’t the end of everything. It’s actually quite normal. And you’re going to be okay.

[its-mirandies]

[its-mirandies]

All of this is written out in a blog post that you can find here.

I'm also going to paste the blog post beneath the read more for those who can't read the images and don't want to click the link. (The link does have a worksheet I made to go with it!)

This post will talk about the Pros/Cons skill. This is a distress tolerance skill.

This skill is useful to help you to resist the urge to behave in a way you are trying to avoid. When you are in a situation where you feel such an urge, describe the behaviour you are trying to avoid.

Consider the positive consequences (pros) or negative consequences (cons) of giving into the urge for that behaviour. Think about the results of that behaviour from past times acting on those urges and any consequences of them, and consider whether those would be pros or cons of doing it again.

Example:

I am feeling the urge to self isolate.

Pros:

No one else will be exposed to my mood.

No one will be able to distract me.

People may worry about me which will affirm that I am cared about.

Cons:

In the past, it has made me feel worse and made my negative mood last longer.

It may put strain or tension on my relationships.

It may make people worry about me and it makes me feel guilty when people worry about me.

It may make it harder for me to meet my needs, such as hydration, food, etc.

(Please note that it is valid to need space as a form of coping in a lot of situations, but there is a difference between needing to be alone and actually self isolating and the latter is why I’ve used it as an example of a behaviour to avoid.)

This skill can also be used to decide between two or more actions. It might seem obvious which is the right choice outside of the moment, but in moments of intense emotions, our thoughts can be clouded and it can be difficult to use reason to choose the best course of action.

Example:

I am feeling frustrated because my partner said something that upset me. It wasn’t his intention to upset me, but I am angry.

I could either: Yell at him and make him understand how wrong he was.

Pros:

I get to vent how I feel.

It will feel satisfying in the moment.

In the end, I end up crying and having a breakdown which ultimately helps release a bunch of emotions leading me to feeling lighter.

Cons.

It will be hurtful and potentially scary to my partner.

I will punish myself afterwards with guilt.

There may be tension between us and/or it may damage our relationship.

I may not explain the problem in a way that my partner can understand, which may lead them to upset me in the same way in the future, or to change their behaviour in a way I don’t want them to do.

Or I could: Use my Coping Skills.

Pros:

I get to feel proud of myself for using my coping skills.

It will likely lead to me communicating with him in a healthy manner afterwards about what upset me, and potentially strengthen our relationship.

Will help calm my body and mind which is better for my physical well-being.

Will help build and reinforce positive thinking patterns.

Cons:

It is draining sometimes to use coping skills.

Sometimes it feels good to get a reaction out of my partner in the moment.

Weighing pros and cons can be helpful for making any decision between two or more options, but it can be particularly useful to help avoid negative behaviours which we have found hard to resist in the past. It may help to consider a potential future situation or an urge we know we experience sometimes, before it happens. We might even write a list of pros and cons for that possible future decision or urge. If we can remember the list we made, or even read a written list at the time when we have the urge for a behaviour we want to avoid, it may help us resist that urge.

The goal of this skill is to help us to realize that the positive consequences of not giving into our urges will outweigh the discomfort we may feel when we work at resisting those urges.

[its-mirandies]

“You need to learn to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life … work on the mind.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

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“I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation for the little things, my vivid inner life, my deep awareness of others’ pain, and my passion for it all.”

— Unknown

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Healing is...

I'm not sure who might need to hear this but healing looks different for everyone and it isn't always herbal baths, green tea, and journaling. For some people the process of healing is:

Uncontrollable crying

Meeting parts of yourself you've kept hidden.

Doing what feels like never ending shadow work only to find yourself back at the same trigger that initiated your shadow work in the first place.

Allowing yourself to feel anger towards others for giving you burdens you didn't deserve to carry while simultaneously feeling bad that you're angry with them.

Realizing it was never your fault, then having to forgive yourself for making choices that were heavily influenced by the weight of those burdens placed on you.

Working with your inner child to let them know they are safe while still trying to maintain your sanity to deal with day to day life in the present.

Having to figure out new coping mechanisms during a time when you wish you could just rely on the old ones because you already know the relief they give you. But at the same time understanding that the relief they provide is only temporary and will lead you into a never ending cycle of despair and self loathing.

With this being said, do not ever feel bad if your healing starts to feel more like regression than progression. That is all a part of the process, if you are still choosing to continue on the path to healing, despite any feelings of stagnation you may have. That is in fact, you still working on healing, not giving up on yourself or your ability to heal. You are amazing for recognizing your need to recover and I sincerely pray that you find peace and restoration as your reward for taking this path. 💗

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

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“I promise to plant kisses like seeds on your body, so in time you can grow to love yourself as I love you.”

— Tyler Knott Gregson