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Spherical experiments

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“Diagram for illustrating the principle of the stereographic projection upon a tangent plane.“ The American journal of science. 1902. 

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The earth. 1877. Book cover.

Internet Archive

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life never turns out how you expect but that’s common knowledge, the true skill is being able to recognize what did and didn’t happen what went wrong in order for things to go right, being able to see how god turned your sadnsss and failings into a plan of action at all times he was present turning your story into something beautiful, when you were low and called out and felt no one was there, god was listening. All the mistakes you’ve made all the regret and short comings they were all lessons and you know what’s right and what’s wrong. Life is never perfect we always have problems but now you have your rocks, Rowan and Brandon the best things to ever happen to me, I am filled eternally with love I never thought I deserved this but this life is amazing.

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Limited edition unicorn and moon wall hangers, available here on my etsy: [click to shop]

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~*~ YUM ~*~

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prismsouls on ig

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you are not the problem.

Thank you for where my life is.

thank you for all my mistakes, i went through them and here i am, alive. i am ideally not where i want to be but i was not where i was before either. My entire life i have felt unloved, like a burden, as if everyone and everything would be better off without me, that is not it. i am not the problem. I am not the problem. My parents are lovely and i adore them but they are a problem within themselves and they need to self help themselves. I live in a state like this because i refuse to let go of my old life, i have lost everything as god said because i did not let go, but i am ready. I need to love myself, no one is going to take care of me or love me like myself, not even my mother. My mother holds resentment against my father as do i and we are both responsible for a lot of problems, and i refuse to be a product of my environment, i refuse to let my past define me, now it is my time to be better, my time to stop being lazy and playing victim. I need to save myself but not by myself, i need to be surrounded by community, positive community its time to repay back everyone who has helped me because I need to do better, my own mind is my own worst enemy and i have been influenced by my parents to be insecure, violent, and to be a mans slave. I will take my moms love and kindness but i will not be her, I will take my dads strength and work ethic but i will not be him. all i can do is pray and hope they find closure, i will not be them, for my own sense of duty i need to get my life and not let laziness take over .

MY GOALS FOR A BETTER LIFE.

pray laziness does not take over and have an early morning schedule and hard work ethic, go to sleep on time.

work out love my body eat safe and organic

pay off debts/ medical - student loan

no more trouble with the law.

dont get drunk, just drink.

maintain a job for a year

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2018

I was so lost and depressed when the year started, didnt think i had an alcohol problem and just wanted to party and be out. I slowly lost friends and made my life worse i had no job or car i messed up my car by drinking and driving in feb. i was still hung up on my ex and had no self love. i was in alcohol and substance counseling and completed it, i hopped on a plane to colorado with strangers i met on facebook who have become a support system and a group to go to concerts with. i had parties during the summer and slowly tried to stop using alcohol so much. i made new internet friends who taught me a new perspective on life, called me out on some things i was doing wrong and didnt know, i tried harder to stop drinking and then i went on a diet, i lost weight felt better than i got drunk in new orleans and had a horrible experience lost the remainder of some people who i thought were friends. i went to LA and really got to experience life and learn about myself and make new friends. basically 2018 wasnt the best year but it was it laid the seeds for whats gonna happen in 2019 and opened up my head to see my toxic qualities and genuinely try to be better.

my 2019 goals is to not be lonely and constantly looking for love

focus on myself being healthy / less alcohol / losing weight to be content with myself.

keeping a good job to be able to travel

passing my real estate exam

better relationship with my family help them with their problems

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5 years since you went away and still so many things to say.

i look back at our time together and it hurts me how we were consumed by our thoughts and surroundings, we both dealt with such toxic shit from other people we didnt fit in thats why we got along, we both understood that feeling and that sadness, no one understood how dark it would get, it just breaks my heart to see how far ive come and to think of how far youd be, you were amazing full of opportunties and potential incredibly smart, girl the world was at your finger prints and its not fair that you didnt get to slay it, its not fair that you dont get to grow up and experience growth, love bcause trust me what we had before wasnt shit, we would still be searching to this day i know that lmfaooo, i enjoy your company when you linger in my head when i feel that energy go through my body, you scotti and savannah, always take care of me i always send you guys vibes and im sorry i forget yall in my day to day lives, im sorry u dont get to experience lifetheres so much more that i have to say i dont know how to say it 5 years gone by and i cant clearly say it. i dont know. lights all night we were supposed to go together, music is what i love, a festival is whaat i will do one day, and i know ull be there. 

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i failed my test today. today was so surreal, it does not seem real. it feels like a dream i dont know who i was today like my body was just going with the motions my thoughts were clouded i felt gloomy and weird, i went to the country i enjoyed it i realized i like being in the country, in nature, away i enjoy that kind of stuff, i have plans for myself but i dont even know what i want god always looks out for me and though it pains me i trust in his plan for he works everything out for the best. i want to make my parents proud, i want to repay everyone who cares for me theyre are very good solid people in my life that i do not value or treat how i am supposed to treat, i need a makeover inside and out, i dont feel happy with myself, little things knock me to the ground i am weak. im at a loss, im empty, im full, i dont know. im a fool?? no i think not ive learned from too many mistakes and i cant go back down.

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i am truly so thankful to god and all his glory because of him saving me and being the only one i could turn to when i was sad i have been able to see new light, he has opened my mind and heart to understand wrong doings and mistakes and things coming together in real life time, i am so thankful to him i owe him my entire journey, he is my savior, my rock, everything, i may not always honor the lord because i am human and make mistakes but he judges hearts and i know mine is in the right place, i want to be better and be the best version of myself i can be so i can fulfill my calling, because its epic, i feel it in my soul i feel it in my body lately i have been overwhelmed with how much the lord is blessing me and all his greatness because of god my family has struggled for centuries i dont even know stuff about my past behind my grandma, my parents survived like savages on beautiful land and im soooo so proud of my dad i cant even begin to explain how proud i am of him because of how far he has come and pushed himself and dear lord i just pray that i can truly be my blood and be a better person i am everything they are and so much more because of you allow me to do right by them i want to make them proud and pay them back for everything theyve ever done for me 

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