itsanerdlife

[itsanerdlife]

Losing You 4/22

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

Clint follows me down the stairs with my two bags. I changed and packed in close to twenty minutes. Barney and Bucky are glaring at one another in the kitchen when I enter.  

“Here.” Barney comes over taking the bags from Clint. 

Taking a deep breath, I clear my throat. Lifting my eyes I find Bucky watching me intently. 

“I agreed to do counseling with you.” I nod. 

“I agreed to you staying in a hotel.” He retorts back. He really wasn’t loving the idea of me leaving the house. 

I nod agreeing with him. 

“I’m going to have questions. A lot of them.” Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “From here out, if you don’t answer them or lie to me, I’ll file for divorce.”  

“I won’t lie. And I won’t sign.” He stares darkly at me. “I fucked up I know. But I know for a fact you’re the rest of my life. It’s only you for me and I’ll spend the next hundred years fixing this if I have too.” He folds his arms over his chest. Leaning back on the counter. 

Licking my lips, I glance away. “Right now, I don’t believe that. I have no trust in you. You shattered all the windows of the happy home we had. Now I have to decide if I stay or go.”  

“Why did your brothers come this morning if you didn’t know what you were going to do?” He wonders quietly. 

“You’re blacklisted.” Barney glares. 

“The genius twins had you locked from the phone call you made. They watched your every move till you landed here.” Clint explains. “I grabbed Barney and headed for our sister; I knew you’d tried to sweet talk her into forgiving you.” His stormy blue eyes glare at his best friend. 

Bucky stares at him for a moment. 

“I don’t plan to sweet talk anything. I promised her I would fix this. I will.” He nods. 

“You promised only her, till death! When you married her!” Barney yells suddenly. “You couldn’t keep that promise, so sorry if your bullshit promises don’t impress us right now.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes.  

Taking a deep breath, I pull my wedding rings off, sliding them on the counter. 

“What are you doing?!” Bucky jerks up right as I step back. “Put your rings on Y/N!” He scrambles for the rings. Picking up my purse, I turn to follow my brothers out of the apartment. 

“You’re still my wife! You can’t take your rings off!” He moves towards me but Clint shifts, blocking him from my path.  

“You fucked someone else James! You cheated!” Clint yells in Bucky’s face, he flinches back from the words. “You hurt her! My baby sister! You swore to me you’d never do wrong to her!” Clint barks. “We don’t know you. We don’t like you right now.” Clint’s voice drops suddenly, hurt lacing his words. “Take the fucking hit like a man, like she did. It’s the least you deserve right now.” Clint pats Bucky’s chest before stepping back. 

“Where the hell am I supposed to go now? You’re all I am, all I want. I can’t live without you, Y/N. I waited a hundred years for you.” He swallows looking defeated and broken holding my rings staring at me. 

“I can’t answer that.” Shaking my head, one shoulder shrugs. “I’ll let you know where I end up.” He opens his mouth like he wants to say something more. 

I turn following Barney out the apartment door. 

Buck stops me standing in the doorway. 

“I love you Y/N Barnes, I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know life without you.” He swallows.  

Dropping my head, my hand holds the doorframe. Tears slowly slip down my cheeks. 

“I love you; I don’t like you right now, but I love you still. And I hate myself for that.” I whisper, stepping out of the apartment, heading for the elevator with Barney. 

Sitting in the back of the SUV, my head drops back against the seat. 

“I need an alias.” I sigh. 

“You have several.” Barney glances back at me. 

Shaking my head, looking out the window. “I need one he doesn’t know.” I swallow. 

“Okay.” Clint nods. Hitting a couple buttons on the screen, it rings three times before the familiar voice fills the car. 

“Barton’s?”  

“Peter.” Clint sighs. 

“Lay it on me. I’m at the ready.” He cuts to chase. “We filing for divorce or a secluded spot for his body?” I hate the smile that forms on my lips. 

Shaking my head, I smile out my window. 

“She needs a new alias. One he doesn’t know.” Clint explains. 

“She needs a hotel room and covered spending.” Barney adds. 

“Say less.” Peter mumbles, we can hear him typing away. 

“Thank you, Peter.” I settle back in my seat a little more. 

“A private suite booked with a card to charge attached if you want to extend your stay. I’ll have a carrier deliver a credit card and ID, some cash for on hand before dark tonight.” Peter informs us. “Don’t thank me, Y/N. There isn’t a thing we wouldn’t do to help you.” He so sweetly speaks to me. 

“Clear the mini bar out.” Clint orders, glaring at me in the backseat. 

“I thought,” Peter stops, the silence sinking in. “I’ll have it cleared and directed to not fill.” He spoke softly. 

“It was one time. My husband fucked a blonde version of Nat!” I throw my hands up.  

“And you woke up screaming.” Barney reminds me. 

“It wasn’t John.” I whisper. 

“Who was it?” Peter asks softly. 

“James. He was stabbing me.” I breathe, swallowing. 

It’s quiet for a moment. 

“It was all the same, only instead of John, it was my husband.” I shift looking out the window again. 

“This is why you don’t drink.” Clint’s voice soft. 

“Can’t blame her.” Peter admits. 

“I keep asking myself the same questions.” I squeeze my eyes shut. 

“What?” Barney shifts looking back at me. 

“Does he love her? How long have they been fucking? Why wasn’t I enough for him?” Anger builds in my chest, white hot and crackling like thunder. “WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!” I let out a scream, hands in my hair, my knees come to my chest. Curling into myself, slipping into sobbing. 

Everything Peaches 9/21/2024 @mo320 @ml7010 @kmc1989 @babizza @coley0823 @aiva-gwen-aers @royal-sunflower @camelliasblossom @shinycupcakebaker @purpleeclipseeggsland @daughterofthenight117 @hisredheadedgoddess28

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @pattiemac1 @jbbarnesgirl @kaylaphantomhive

[itsanerdlife]

Part 3 is up. But tumblr is giving me a time limit to get it up or it won’t auto save meaning I can’t post it. So there’s no tag list it’s not spaced like I normally do. I’ll have to try to go back later and fix it. But it’s up, it’s messy but it’s up. Haha

[itsanerdlife]

Losing You 3/22

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

A twisted nightmare.   It’s shifted.  Struggling under his weight. My gun inches from my fingertips.   Only it’s not John.   It’s Bucky.  My husband.  Stabbing me.   White hot, searing pain erupts.  Screaming bloody murder as pain rips through me.  “Y/N!?” He calls out.  The pain ripping through me.  “Baby! Wake up!” I’m shaken.  The pain doesn’t stop. Curling over, slowly my knees come to my chest, whimpering in pain.  “It’s a dream. Baby. It’s a dream.” He’s brushing my hair back. Trying to soothe me. His metal hand slowly rubs circles down my back.  Something I used to love so much.  “It burns!” I cry out.  “No, it doesn’t. It’s not real.” He assures me. Pushing my face into the rug, crying out.  “It’s phantom.” He whispers softly, slipping his hand up my T-shirt, pushing on my scar. It stops instantly. Cold makes me shiver.  Wet eyes fluttering open, my vision blurry.  “It was just a dream baby.” He spoke so softly, with so much care. “You’re not supposed to drink.” He brushes my hair back.  Reality clicks back in like a kick to the face.  I jerk away from him. His touch. His comfort even though it’s all I crave right now. The familiarity of him comforting me in the middle of the night.   “Don’t. Don’t do that.” I push back on my hands, putting some distance between us.  “You were having a nightmare.” He points out, hurt on his face.  Good.  “Because of you.” I spit.  His chin drops slightly, guilt eating him up.   “You were drinking?” He glances around. Changing the subject.  “Not that it’s your business, you didn’t come home. You didn’t follow me. You stayed with her.” I spit in anger at him.  “I deserve that.” He nods.  “You deserve a lot more.” I push up, swaying on my feet for a moment. He hurries to brace me. I smack away his hands. “I said don’t do that!”   “Help you?” His brow dips.  “Touch me!” I yell.  He stares at me in silence for a moment.  “I’m just used to it. Always having my hands on you.” He swallows, looking away, at the destruction around us.  “After you’ve fucked her?” I gag. “Do I need to get checked?” I gape at him.  “No, I would never do that to you.” He stares at me in shock.  “You’re fucking kidding, right?!” My voice suddenly loudly. “You wouldn’t risk me for an STD, but you’d fuck someone else.” I shake my head.  “I’m so sorry Baby.” He sighs, taking a slight step towards me. I jerk back putting my hands up to keep him back. “I can fix this. I’ll start seeing Raynor again.” He reaches out securing my hands in his.  “Buck,” I swallow. The security of his touch, weakening me. It’s all I crave to feel safe and loved by him still.  “Baby I promise, I’ll fix this. I’ll make it right. I’ll explain everything somehow.” He pleads.  A door bangs open, heavy footsteps coming towards the two of us. He grips both hands, spinning me. Placing his body in front of me, blocking me completely.   “Get away from her.”   My head pops around Bucky’s body, finding my brothers in my living room.  “Barney!” I make a move, but he stops me, looking at the shattered glass on the floor.  “I swear to God Barnes if you threw any of this at her.” Clint snarls low in his chest.  “I did it.” I whisper.  Bucky shifts the three of them looking at me. Dropping my chin, I look away guilty.  “Bits?” Barney hesitates.  Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I look to the still open balcony door.   “I was drinking.” It comes out so soft and quiet I’m not sure Barney heard me. Clint’s hearing aid gives him sonic hearing, Bucky being super soldier with ridiculous hearing. They heard me no matter what.  “What?” Clint stares at me.  “She was having a nightmare when I got here.” Bucky adds.   My head turns staring at him. “And you have a mistress; I don’t think you get to say a fucking thing.” I glare at him.  “You need to leave James.” Clint cuts in.  “I’m not leaving. This is my house. My wife. My marriage.” Bucky snarls at my brother.  “You fucked that up when you put your dick in someone else!” Barney yells. I flinch away, swallowing hard as I wrap my arms around my middle, shifting away from Bucky. 

“He’s right.” Running a hand through my hair. “It’s his house. I’ll leave.”  

“What?!” Bucky blurts out. 

“You heard her.” Barney barks. 

Taking a deep breath, I shove my fingers into my hair, lacing my fingers at the root.  

“Did you mean it?” I shift looking at my husband. 

“All of it.” He nods. Blue eyes filled with hurt and anguish.  

“Text me when and I’ll see Raynor with you.” I nod once. 

“What?!” Both my brother's yell. 

“Shut up. Both of you. You don’t get a say in this.” I point a finger at them. Their mouths slowly close. 

“But” I turn back to Bucky, he tracks all my little movements “I will not stay here in the meantime. I need space away from you. I can’t process or think straight when you’re near me. It’s not fair, you ruined this and I’m the one barely able to breathe, feeling like I’m fighting for my life.” I swallow, tears welling up in my eyes. “Honestly I’d rather be tortured by Walker again, than feel like this.” My hand slips over my heart. 

“Baby,” Bucky whispers, it shakes, fear flashes in his blue eyes, leaving behind hurt. 

“I’m going to pack; I need to get away from you.” Looking to my brother, Barney steps into the glass. Wrapping his arm around my middle he pulls me up turning he hands me off to Clint who sets me down beside him away from the glass. 

“I’ll go with you.” Clint nods.  

I pause looking back at my husband, standing in my destroyed living room. All our happy memories shattered around him. 

“I need you to answer one question.” I swallow. 

“Anything.” He breathes. 

“Was she in this home? Our home?”  

He looks at me as if slapped him. Shaking his head. “No, never. I could never,” I put my hand up to stop him. 

“You can’t really say you could never. Since you clearly could do the one thing, I never thought you would.” I turn away heading up the stairs to our bedroom. 

Everything Peaches 9/21/2024 @mo320 @ml7010 @kmc1989 @babizza @coley0823 @@aiva-gwen-aers @royal-sunflower @camelliasblossom @shinycupcakebaker @purpleeclipseeggsland @daughterofthenight117 @hisredheadedgoddess28

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @pattiemac1 @jbbarnesgirl @kaylaphantomhive

[itsanerdlife]

Nothing like being at a Concert that my husband wanted to be at more than anything and I’m writing fanfiction between acts and songs I don’t know… the poor girls behind me probably think I’m cheating on my husband 😂😂

[itsanerdlife]

I would love to post for y’all but tumblr will not allow me to for some reason. Keeps giving me a sign that says there was an error aurosaving your post. Which than will not allow me to post. I have no idea why it’s doing this, I’ve tried closing out and reopening and such. But no luck.

[itsanerdlife]

Can u please tag me in the Bucky Fuck Me Up Barnes list. Thank u so much.

Absolutely

[itsanerdlife]

Losing You 2/22

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

Coming down the hall, blindly following the others off the plane. The crying stopped on the plane, now I felt numb, empty. A shell of a person.   As passengers part ways, and head off into the airport my eyes lift, looking for baggage. There stands my favorite person in the whole world. Hands tucked into his jacket pockets.   Clint.  Unable to explain it. I’m suddenly rushing. Dodging people, cutting others off to get around them. He meets me at the opening, my body hits his. His arms wrap around me, my feet up off the ground.   Safely tucked into my brother’s arms.  Nothing can hurt me here.  The safest place in the world.  I used to think that about Buck.  But apparently, I wasn’t the only one that found safety there.   The tears begin again.   “I know. I know.” He hums softly into my hair, squeezing me tightly.  “I hate him.” I weep into his chest.  “Me too. Me too Bits.” He sets me down, but keeps his arm wrapped around me. Leading me towards baggage. He quickly grabs my bag, before steering me towards the doors.  Once I’m closed in, he’s pulling on to the road. He finally speaks.  “I’m taking you home with me.”   “No. I can’t. I can’t Clint.” I whine, dropping my head backwards against the head rest.  “Why? You want to go home to your cheating, scum bag husband?” He spits  I stare at him in shock.  “How did you know how to find me?” I whisper in the quiet car.  Clint huffs, adjusting in his seat. His hand grips tightly to the wheel.  “He called me.” He doesn’t look at me.  “He told you?” Tears flooding my eyes again.  “Not more than what you saw.” Distaste laced his voice.  “I can’t figure out what I did.” My hands cover my face, pushing up into my hair.   “WHAT?!” He suddenly shouts in the quiet of the car. When I look over, he’s staring at me.  “That made him decide to cheat on me.” I sigh.  “You didn’t do anything Bits! He made that choice all on his own! He had a dedicated, loving wife at home, and he decided to get his jollies putting his dick in Nat’s sister!” He hollers in anger.  In an instant a sob breaks free, tears thundering down my cheeks, my hands slip over my face once again.  “Fuck Bits I’m so sorry.” He spoke softly. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, fuck.” He reaches over, slipping his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me towards him.   My head on his shoulder, his hand in my hair.   “He isn’t coming home.” I sob wiping at the tears on my cheeks.  “What?”  “He didn’t follow me. I waited two hours at the airport for my flight. He didn’t pick me. He picked her.” I sit up right, looking out the window. “He had time to follow me, he decided to stay. He called you instead of coming after me himself.” I nod, wiping at the tears still running.  “Jesus.” Clint mutters.  “Take me home Clint, I need to pack my things before I leave him.” I sigh resting my forehead against the window.   “Is that what you’re going to do? Leave?” He wonders softly.  “I can’t stay in the apartment while I figure it out.” I mumble back.  “I get it.” He sighs. 

--------------

“How can I help?” Clint stands in the opening looking around. Hands on his hips.  “Go home Clint.” I lean against the counter in my open kitchen.  “Bits I can help pack or just be here. You shouldn’t be alone.” Guilt flashes on his face.  “I’m not packing a lot. And I’m not up for company. If I need you, I’ll call.” I assure him.  He sighs, not loving this idea. He finally nods, coming over he kisses the top of my head.  “Call me. I’m serious.” He steps back watching me. “No drinking.” He settles stern blue eyes on me.  Nodding slowly, my arms wrap around me. One hand reaches up, pushing my hair back from my face.  “I know, Biggie. I know.” I nod.  “Bits,” looking over at my brother he watches me “no matter what at the end of the day, you’re the strongest person, I know. I love you.”   Nodding slowly, I know this. I know how my brothers see me. That their love for me is the only forever thing in life.  “I love you and Barney too.”  Biggie and little bit, the three of us have always had a different type of relationship. My brothers were the only ones I knew that no matter what I could count on. Without a second guess, no wonder if they’ll show. They gave me away on my wedding day.   They were there when I woke up in the hospital after my attack. They slept in chairs and hovered over me for weeks. They went to every appointment I had for check ups. I was never without my older brothers.  They introduced me to my husband.  Husband.  I flinch at the thought.  Running my hands through my hair, I push off the counter. Heading for the bar cart, set under a window near the balcony.  “One won’t hurt.” I mumble, popping the stopper out of the whiskey bottle. Something Buck enjoyed, it always smelled harsh. I pour a heavy glass and walk to the balcony.   Pushing open the doors. I stand there in the fading sunlight. Watching the sky change colors. Something low in my chest, some feeling there. Deep inside.  “He’s not coming home.”   It feels like I’m being cracked open. Like someone stabbed me all over again. Honestly, I’d rather go through torture again than this gut sickening feeling.  Lifting the glass to my mouth, I take slug after slug. Dripping down my chin. Gulping down, burning hot, till the glass is empty. Wiping my chin on the back of my hand. I stare at the sky.  Wondering what I did so wrong.  Is she the only one?  How long has this been going on?  Does he love her? Why her? | How did we get to this?  Could I have done something better?  Cracked open and burning I turn shoving the glass on to the cart, snatching up the bottle. Putting it to my lips I take several gulps. Turning in a shaky circle looking about the apartment.  Was she ever here?  Was she in our home?   My eyes glance on the wedding photo.  The white dress, Buck in a tux, the adoring look on his face caught forever. The way he loved me in just that look.   Did he look at her like that?   Sour fills my mouth. I wash it away with more gulps from the bottle in my hand.  Moving suddenly, I snatch the picture up, whipping it across the room. Hitting the wall it shatters. The shelf of photos of us, years together.   My arm slams across them, throwing them to the floor. Shattering.   The bottle flies, hitting another wall. It’s not till I hit my knees that I realize I’m screaming. Dropping to the floor, I give up, there on the rug, surrounded by shattered glass, my shattered life. 

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Everything Peaches 9/21/24 @mo320 @ml7010 @babizza @kmc1989 @coley0823 @aiva-gwen-aers @royal-sunflower @camelliasblossom @shinycupcakebaker @purpleeclipseeggsland @daughterofthenight117 @hisredheadedgoddess28

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @jbbarnesgirl @kaylaphantomhive

[itsanerdlife]

I’ve been reading your fics for a really long time and every time I get a notif that you’ve started a new one/updated any of them it always makes my day! 🫶✨

Awe shucks thank you so much! That means the world to me specially since the blog is basically a grave yard at this point lol

[itsanerdlife]

Losing You 1/22

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

Hurrying from the back of the cab. I shift my bag up my shoulder. Heading into the hotel, towards the front desk.  “Hello Miss.” He smiles at me.  “Hi, my husband is here. In room 207.” I turn my phone around showing him the text, followed with a ‘Miss you already.’ “I was hoping to get a key and surprise him.” I smile at him.  “What’s the name on the room?” He asks typing into the computer.  “James Barnes.” I pull my ID out and show him I have the same last name.  “Thank you.” He nods, swiping a card. He hands it to me, with a smile.  “Enjoy.”  “Thank you.” I grin. Hurrying towards the elevator. Standing in the box watching the floors tick by. I can’t help but grin to myself.   Typically, I didn’t just surprise Buck on missions. We traveled together occasionally since my retirement. He traveled for work still, working on taking out Hydra, making up for his past as the Winter Solider.   The news just too exciting to wait or spill over the phone. Taking a deep breath, I watch the doors open, stepping off. I hurry down the hall excitedly.  Finding room 207, I wave the card in front of the lock. Hearing it click. The door swings open.  My heart sinks as it about jumps out of my chest.  Stomach twisting into knots.  Heat rushes my body, my hands shake.  “Y/N?!” Bucks voice a shocked whisper.  Tears slipped down my cheeks without permission.   He’s wearing only briefs, and his socks. Short hair disheveled like she’s been running her fingers through it.  She’s naked. Perfect form, gorgeous skin, short blonde hair.   At my name she glances over.  Yolanda.  They share the same shocked, terrified expression on their faces.  Blinking rapidly, tears falling thick and fast. I look away no longer able to stand the image burning into my mind. The two of them standing in the room, naked, his hand on her ass. Shifting my body I turn, leaving out the open door.  “Y/N! Wait!” Buck is scrambling behind me.  I don’t. I’m back to the elevator slipping in before the doors close. Before he can reach me.  I can’t miss the “fuck” screamed as I drop past floors. My hand over my mouth as I sob quietly in a tin box. When the door opens, I stumble out. Hurrying outside without glancing around.   Flagging down a cab, one screeches to a stop. Throwing the door open, I drop in yanking the door closed quickly.   “Y/N?!” Buck is rushing out of the hotel in a pair of sweats.  “Airport.” I sob. The cab takes off as Buck reaches it.   “Y/N!” He yells after.   Sinking down in the cab silently crying to myself.   Weeks away from five years of marriage. Gone up in smoke. Nothing seems real anymore. The shock of trust breaking left a hollow feeling inside. 

-----------

His phone rings, ignoring it. It stops and starts again with barely a pause.  Glancing over at the screen, Bucky.  He answers with a chuckle. “You get your ass kicked and need me to come save you and all that broodiness?” He jokes with his brother-in-law.  “Fuck, Clint.” Buck’s voice shakes, sounding distraught.  Suddenly on high alert. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen to Y/N?!” He sits up right.  “I fucked up, I fucked up bad, Clint.” Buck swallows hard, voice cracking.  “Just tell me how bad it is. I’ll be on the next flight to you.”  “Y/N will be on a flight home, pick her up. She’s going to need you.”   Clint’s brow drops down.  “Why is she on a flight? She’s not at home?” Confusion washing over him.  “I don’t know why she came here. She didn’t, she left. I fucked up.” Buck babbles, breathing heavy.  “You keep saying that. What happened Barnes?” He demands.  “She walked in on something.” Buck whispers.  “Like what? Your love affair with your hair?” He cracks a joke, hoping to lighten the mood.  “Yolanda is here.”   It’s silent for a moment.  “For work, right?” His brow drops down trying to understand what his brother-in-law and best friend are saying to him.  “No, not work.” Buck swallows hard.  Clint jumps to his feet. Staring at his phone.   “YOU’RE CHEATING ON MY SISTER?!” He suddenly screams into the phone.  “It’s not like that, it’s hard to explain.” Buck groans, sounding broken.  “You fucked Yolanda, while married to my sister?! Sounds pretty easy to explain!” He’s still yelling.  “I’ll explain, not right now. But your sister is going to need you.” Buck sighs, hanging up the phone.  He stares at the screen, in disbelief.  “What’s going on?” Peter steps into the room.  “Barnes is a dead man, put it out. He’s blacklisted.” He snatches up his keys, storming out of the office. 

Everything Peaches 9/21/2024 @mo320 @ml7010 @kmc1989 @babizza @coley0823 @royal-sunflower @camelliasblossom @shinycupcakebaker @purpleeclipseeggsland @daughterofthenight117 @hisredheadedgoddess28

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @jbbarnesgirl @kaylaphantomhive

[itsanerdlife]

What I mean is my older stories. For those that have been around for a while, if you’re even still here at this point lol.

If I was to say I’m going on a rewriting spree, what would you want to see updated and adjusted???

[itsanerdlife]

If I was to say I’m going on a rewriting spree, what would you want to see updated and adjusted???

[itsanerdlife]

Ama’s Master List

Playlists

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Series // One - Two

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Short Stories  //  Series One - Two

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Short Stories  //  Series One - Two - Three

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Short Stories  //  Series

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Short Stories  //  Series

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Short Stories // Series One - Two

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Stories

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Halloween//

Characterless//

The Avengers Team//

Let Me Break Your Heart//

[itsanerdlife]

After years of back and forth. Dished out pain and trauma. Dating other people and trying to make the other jealous.

“You know baby girl,” he chuckles softly in your ear “it was never really over with us.” Leaning back he locks eyes with you. “Never will be either.”

[itsanerdlife]

Filthy Lies

Pairing: Howie Stark x Rogers!Reader

Young love is never easy. It's especially not easy when you're the daughter of a crime boss. Or when you fall for the son of your fathers biggest enemy. Nobody knows, so nothing bad can happen, right?

Lets see where this goes. Might be just this hot mess or it might be more I haven't decided.

Half in half out. Wiggling forward. Tips of sneakers, pressed hard against the siding. “Bitch, are you putting on weight?” Wanda huffs, yanking hard on my upper arms. Huffing back at her. “Shut up, if you opened the window wider.”

“Didn’t know your ass was getting bigger.” She grumbles, putting her foot against the wall, under her window. With a scrap, the both of us squeal when I pop through the window. We collapse to the floor together, with a loud thump, both of us laughing. Her door swings open, making us laugh harder. Our twin brothers and their friends standing there, looking at us, tangled together on her floor. “What in the fuck?” Pietro asks. “We didn’t want you to find out like this.” I cackle, eye level with Wanda’s boobs. “It’s a love affair we can’t resist.” Wanda laughs. The guys look to Sam, Wanda’s long term boyfriend. My brother John glares at him. “You two are going to get my ass kicked, thinking you’re funny.” Sam puts his hands up. John James Rogers. My twin brother, my father’s carbon copy. Only he somehow got some qualities from our uncle Bucky. Silent, deadly glare, seriously intimidating, dangerous. Only he looks exactly like our father, dirty blonde hair, sea blue eyes, wide shoulders, what girls call damn good genetics.

Gross. Apparently my twin is a hot commodity with the girls in our school. If they only knew.

“Who said anything about a three some?” I snicker, pushing myself up off my best friend. John turns his glare on me. “You don’t scare me.” I roll my eyes. “Sometimes I like to share Wanda.” I shrug, sitting back on my heels, as Wanda sits up. “Hey Y/N?” James smirks, leaning on the door frame watching me. Looking just like his father, my uncle Bucky. Jet black hair, cut short on the sides, the slightly longer top, styled perfectly. Winter blue eyes that give the impression they can see into your soul, built just as thick and wide as my own twin. Only he can be a lot friendlier, he got that from my dad, but he had his mother’s, Aunt Natalia, temper to the worse point. I lift a brow at him. “What do you want Jr?”

He glances at my brother, before looking to me. “What happened to the button on your shorts?” He lifts a brow, dropping his eyes to my denim shorts. The button snapped off.

My eyes snap up to Wanda’s, her eyes drift slowly up from the missing button to my own sea blue eyes.

“Ah,” looking around at the floor “it’s around here somewhere.” Shrugging, keeping my eyes on the floor.

“Y/N?” John’s brow drops down, staring at me. His phone rings. Saved by the ring. “Bet that’s dad. You gotta go.” I press my lips together, running a hand through my dirty blonde hair. He sighs, looking at his phone screen before looking at me again. “We’re not done having this conversation.” He warns me before they leave us.

When the door clicks shut, Wanda smacks me in the arm. “Hello!” She huffs quietly at me. “Hi.” I smack her back. “Close call don’t you think?” She thrust a hand at the door.

With a sigh I drop to the carpeted floor, rolling on to my back.

She slowly gathers her dark red hair up, snapping a hair tie around it in a perfect messy bun. She stands up, heading for her walk in closet.

“Something,” I swallow staring up at her ceiling “something happened, Red.”

Her voice carries back from the closet. “What kind of something?”

“Big.” I breathe.

“Did he try to put in your butt? I knew he was a weird dude. I told you this was a bad idea.” She huffs coming back towards me. I laugh softly as a pair of black sweats hit my chest.

“I wish butt stuff was my biggest problem.” Rolling my eyes as I remove my broken shorts, and wiggle into the sweats without leaving the floor.

“Bitch if you say you’re knocked up, I am pushing you down the stairs.” She warns dropping down on the bench at the end of her bed, near me.

“Wanda!” I lift my head looking up at her.

“It’ll be out of love I swear but you can’t have his baby!” She turns her hands up, shaking her head at me.

“I am not pregnant.” I sigh, dropping my head again.

“Praise the lord.” She mutters.

It falls silent between us for a moment.

“He didn’t.” She whispers softly, the silence speaking to her more than I could with words.

“Yeah.” I swallow, sucking in a deep breathe.

“Before or after? It could have been one to get you to let him get his dick wet.”

I laugh.

“If it was after everyone knows it’s a sex high and not real.” She points out.

Letting out a slow breath.

“Lying in his bed, holding me.” I admit.

Wanda gasps softly. Rolling my head I lock eyes with her.

“Yeah.”

Her eyes wide, hand over her lips.

“Post cuddling?” She wonders, dropping her hand.

Licking my lips, I look back to the ceiling. “I tried to get up after he tugged me back into his bed with him.”

We fall silent.

“That’s not good.” She swallows.

“I’m so fucked.” I groan, rubbing my hands over my face.

“He’s so fucked. Your brother will kill him.” Shaking her head.

She wasn’t wrong.

“My daddy will kill his family.” I groan, rolling over on my stomach burying to face into my hands.

“Girl,” she whips a pillow at me when I don’t reply. Grabbing the pillow I tuck it under my chin.

“Don’t red.” I plead.

“Are you in love with him?” Shock in her voice.

“Ugh!” I groan, lying my head on the pillow, facing her.

“Tell me you didn’t say it back! Tell me you didn’t tell Howie Stark, the son of your father’s biggest nemesis in the game, your brothers rival, that you love him!” She stares at me in utter shock, fear in the depth of her eyes.

Burying my face into the pillow I scream into it.

When I’ve finished Wanda sighs loudly.

“Fucking West Side Story eat your heart out.” She laughs softly.

I hate her but I laugh with her.

“Nothing about this is funny.” Sigh, looking over at her.

“John’s going to kill you.” She swallows. Letting out a shaky breath I nod.

“I know.”

Climbing the last few steps, the house is mostly dark. My father likely not home, and my brother doing only God could know what and I don’t want to know. Pushing open my bedroom door, I reach for the light on my nightstand. Bathing the room in a soft glow, my head snaps up.

“What the fuck?!” I gasp.

My twin brother sits in my chair, arms folded, completely relaxed, except for the look on his face.

“Baby sister,” he grumbles, looking me over with a cold glare. I swallow hard. “I think we need to talk.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Everything Peaches 12/8/22 @mo320 @ml7010 @kmc1989 @irepeldirt @joannie95 @coley0823 @rileyloves5 @sexyvixen7 @duckestylez @abschaffer2 @drayshadow @shirukitsune @xoxabs88xox @carostar2020 @rosalynshields @destiel-artemis @hookslove1592 @royal-sunflower @iwillbeinmynest @bellamy-barnes @geeksareunique @happydeanpotter @fanfic-n-tabulous @steel-blue-eyess @mariekoukie6661 @wonderswritings @bless-my-demons @notyourtypicalrose @lets-talk-about-xyz @loving-life-my-way @shinycupcakebaker @also-fangirlinsweden @stupendous-science @daughterofthenight117 @dandelionsmarkthegrave @physically-a-cheesecake @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

[itsanerdlife]

Sad news today.

My laptop she ended this toxic relationship between us. She crashed out and no longer wants to be involved with me and my bad behavior. There was a lot of cussing and screaming on my end, hey at least I know I’m toxic. It was a good 7 years we had together. I’ll remember her fondly.

But in my toxic behavior, I’m ordering a new laptop today and will be up and ready to traumatize her in a short time.

Bonus is I learned from the last time my laptop crashed out on me and I lost everything. I had all my stuff cloud saved with Microsoft so I’ll still have all the stories I have stock piled for y’all lol

[itsanerdlife]

So if I said this is finished and waiting. Y’all still interested??

Losing You

Character: Bucky Barnes x Barton!Reader

Warnings: Lying, cheating, violence, language (I'll add more as I get more written)

It was supposed to be exciting news. Only the one with the shock was me. Five years of marriage and the trust shattered in the blink of an eye. Where do we go from here? He wants to explain. He’s been keeping secrets in ways I never knew. Am I any better though? Can we fix what he broke, where we went wrong? Do I even want too?

Remember you asked for Bucky… and I hold no shame what’s coming from this it’s a ride for sure.

[itsanerdlife]

One of you peaches, made a TikTok about my intention series, and it ended up on my fyp. Tumblr clearly isn’t letting me go away as easily as I thought. So here we are.

Hello, we’re back in this toxic relationship again. I probably need to finish the master list. Perhaps tmrw…