itsaudreyaspen

[itsaudreyaspen]

effervcscentx​:

               emotional  and  mental  turmoil  isn’t  unknown  to  the  actor,  elijah  having  their  own  fair  share  of  negative  memories  —  especially  those  including  parental  figures  and  navigating  real  life  by  their  lonesome.  “  i  highly  doubt  you’re  going  to  ruin  your  entire  life.  ”  words  aren’t  sarcastic,  shockingly  filled  with  comfort  and  a  soft  tone  as  orbs  focus  in  on  the  aspen  femme.  despite  a  carefree  attitude,  there’s  a  tenderness  that  resides  through  his  body,  constantly  wanting  to  make  sure  individuals  weren’t  stuck  in  their  own  minds  after  enduring  it  themself  for  years.  “  my  old  therapist  used  to  tell  me  to  not  worry  until  there’s  something  to  actually  worry  about.  ”  lips  connect  with  the  top  of  the  beer  bottle,  taking  a  sip  before  shrugging  their  shoulder.  “  deep  conversations  are  overrated  —  tell  me  the  first  thing  that  pops  into  your  head  and  we’ll  go  from  there.  right  —  now,  ”  finger  snaps  towards  the  blonde,  smirk  on  lips.

       of  course  audrey  wanted  to  talk  to  somebody  but  opening  up  just  seemed  like  burderning  others  and  pouring  her  heart  out  to  them  was  beyond  unfair  .  her  unrelenting  need  to  keep  things  bottled  up  meant  she  was  also  incapable  of  just  loosening  the  cork  without  the  bottle  exploding  .  “  perhaps  it’s  this  life  that  i  don’t  want  and  that’s  why  i’m  ruining  it  ,  “  she  shrugs  thoughtfully  as  she  moves  the  glass  ,  liquid  moving  around  freer  than  she  had  ever  been  .  she  listens  to  their  advice  ,  a  therapist  something  her  parents  would  most  certainly  never  allow  ,  frowned  upon  as  some  demonic  force  that  would  poison  your  mind  as  if  her  thoughts  weren’t  already  more  toxic  than  any  substance  .  she  pauses  at  his  question  and  then  suddenly  ,  “  i  honestly  can’t  stop  thinking  about  those  hotdog  vans  .  i  haven’t  been  to  one  of  them  in  ...  well  ,  ever  .  just  imagining  walking  down  the  street  and  casually  getting  a  hot  dog  for  a  few  dollars  off  god  knows  who  without  some  strange  person  putting  it  on  an  online  blog  or  questioning  you  ,  “  she’s  saying  ,  eyes  widening  with  estranged  pattern  for  something  so  ...  normal  .  that  was  the  thing  about  her  life  ,  though  ,  in  washington  it  had  never  been  normal  and  she  had  worked  entirely  too  hard  to  maintain  this  uptight  ,  perfect  image  even  when  she  moved  .  

[itsaudreyaspen]

sweetncthingss​:

“if the worlds already seen everything you have to offer then what’s the point in stressing anyway?” she answered in return as she thought over the question the other had offered. in her eyes, if you had already dealt your hand then whether it was a winning one or not there was no changing the outcome now, it would be easier to just deal with what was already out there. “the world will pick and chose what it takes regardless of what you offer it. you just have to learn to stop fighting everyone and contradict them instead.” 

     it’s  strange  that  it’s  ophelia  who  seems  to  get  through  to  her  ,  if  only  a  little  .  so  many  times  she’s  totally  unable  to  hear  the  words  of  others  for  what  they  are  ,  her  standards  hiked  so  high  .  perhaps  it’s  because  the  two  aren’t  close  and  don’t  have  any  deep  concept  of  one  another  that  she  manages  a  sigh  in  the  moment  ,  “  i  suppose  that’s  true  .  opinions  are  like  arseholes  ,  everyone  has  one  ,  “  and  most  were  wrong  ,  including  her  own  .  “  thanks  ,  ophelia  .  “

[itsaudreyaspen]

rxscss​:

a late night text from audrey aspen was the last thing he expected. and sure, he was merely teasing when he asked if she wanted to bang, but when hollywood’s most notorious, up tight, virgin gave him the thumbs up, he practically jetted over to her house. he was trying to be better, he really was. but an offer like that was once in a life time, something he couldn’t possibly pass up. besides, it would simply be him doing a friend a favor, right? knuckles barely make contact with the front door before the petite blonde is yanking him inside the house and pushing him down on the couch. “who says i’m not a good boy?” he asked with a raise of his brow, looking up at her with a grin as hands found a home against her hips, giving them a squeeze as he felt her lips near his ear, head falling back against the back of the couch as he let out a low laugh. “easy tiger.” he said, hands moving down from her hips to the back of her thighs. “we’re a few minutes away from midnight, and if i fuck you, it’s gonna be on the lords day.”

       it  was  one  thing  to  arrange  to  have  sex  with  johnny  but  his  mannerisms  were  still  incredibly  annoying  and  it  was  hard  for  her  not  to  revert  to  slapping  his  hand  &  telling  him  to  stop  being  so  stupid  .  “  sorry  ,  i  had  no  idea  you  were  so  strict  about  how  you  wanted  things  ,  “  she  says  ,  leaning  back  from  where  she  sat  on  top  of  him  ,  her  fingertips  trailing  to  rest  of  his  shoulders  as  she  looked  at  him  ,  no  comment  added  about  whether  or  not  he  had  shown  he  was  a  good  or  bad  boy  .  she  was  sure  that  everyone  knew  well  enough  exactly  what  he  was  like  and  even  if  audrey  had  thought  there  was  something  beneath  it  all  ,  that  wasn’t  on  her  mind  right  now  .  she  climbs  off  of  him  and  walks  towards  the  little  corner  set  up  with  her  drinks  trolley  ,  pouring  a  vast  amount  of  spirits  into  the  tumbler  and  then  adding  some  mixer  ,  shaking  vigorously  .  she’s  focused  on  that  ,  comments  making  their  way  out  absent  mindedly  ,  “  so  this  is  your  fantasy  of  me  ,  then  ?  ruining  the  holy  day  ...  kind  of  predictable  ,  kennedy  .  i  suppose  nobody  said  you  were  inventive  ,  just  a  whore  ,  “  there’s  humour  beneath  her  tone  ,  not  shaming  him  as  she  lines  up  the  glasses  to  pour  her  concoction  .  

[itsaudreyaspen]

delvedinto​:

ever  -  shifting  schedules  left  them  on  separate  tangents  half  the  time  ,  pulling  selves  in  different  directions  than  towards  one  another.  bumping  into  audrey  in  the  street  wasn’t  on  the  dancer’s  bucket  list  for  today  ,  not  expecting  to  see  her  for  at  least  another  few  days  ,  but  she’s  delighted  to  entertain  the  blonde  with  her  presence.  usual  dramatics  seem  to  fall  from  femme’s  lips  causing  mahogany  optics  to  roll  theatrically  ,  hands  prepared  to  provide  a  standing  ovation  like  she’s  about  to  walk  on  stage  &  receive  an  academy  award.  interest  peaks  at  her  cut  -  off  ,  laminated  brows  raising  with  curiosity.  “  what  doesn’t  matter  ?  you  can’t  leave  me  on  a  cliffhanger  like  that.  “  whine’s  present  in  timbre  ,  dumping  self  down  on  the  floor  beside  scattered  belongings  in  attempt  to  help  assort  them  into  vague  piles.  

     she  does  actually  seem  to  take  pause  in  her  ranting  ,  words  that  came  quick  fire  seeming  to  end  suddenly  as  items  tumble  onto  forsaken  silk  sheets  ,  slipping  aside  .  her  mind  goes  blank  ,  a  momentary  lapse  as  she  wraps  her  arms  around  herself  as  if  it’s  some  form  of  comfort  but  she  hadn’t  felt  comforted  by  anything  in  quite  some  time  .  “  i  was  busy  ,  “  she  finally  surmises  and  to  be  quite  frank  ,  that  was  true  ...  the  moments  and  memories  blur  together  and  slip  out  of  her  fractured  mind  despite  her  attempts  to  focus  .  “  i  slept  with  johnny  ,  “  the  confession  quick  and  chaste  ,  gaze  averting  away  ...  there’s  a  reason  she’s  announcing  it  ,  her  hopes  of  reputation  damaging  information  being  frowned  upon  by  all  .  another  form  of  punishment  that  would  be  no  greater  than  the  way  she  took  the  metaphorical  belt  to  her  own  back  on  a  daily  basis  .  

[itsaudreyaspen]

effervcscentx​:

               confusion  covered  her  like  a  blanket,  mind  trying  to  understand  the  nature  of  the  invite,  and  the  urgency  behind  it.  despite  internally  questioning,  footsteps  are  swift,  moving  at  a  quick  pace  until  she’s  standing  in  front  of  the  numbered  door,  hand  reaching  out  to  knock  twice  and  loud.  invite  hollered,  causing  pandora  to  enter  the  room  with  ease,  chocolate  optics  landing  on  the  blonde  situated  on  the  bed  with  little  to  no  greeting.  “  hi.  ”  own  voice  fills  the  silence,  although  audrey  is  soon  filling  it  with  endless  words;  features  contort,  brows  furrowing  at  the  knowledge  of  her  vacation  within  seb’s  home,  but  comments  withheld  as  she  closes  the  distance  between  them.  “  okay?  should  i  be  worried?  is  this  like  —  easy  to  fix  crisis  or  we  need  to  hide  a  body  crisis?  ”

     audrey  was  remarkably  awful  in  saying  what  she  meant  ,  her  public  image  the  epitome  of  transparency  because  the  woman  did  no  wrong  but  just  beneath  the  surface  ,  things  stirred  away  .  “  there’s  no  body  to  hide  ...  “  except  maybe  her  own  ,  if  she  could  hide  what  she’d  done  with  herself  ,  to  herself  ,  she’d  like  that  a  lot  .  pristine  fingernails  mess  with  threads  of  her  long  sleeved  shirt  ,  “  i  don’t  think  it’s  anything  to  fix  .  it’s  just  all  wrong  ...  i  don’t  know  how  to  make  things  right  .  i  just  started  talking  to  seb  after  all  this  time  and  he  invited  me  to  stay  at  his  house  but  i  know  he  just  feels  sorry  for  me  ...  i’m  pathetic  .  “

[itsaudreyaspen]

Tilly Keeper

[itsaudreyaspen]

Send 🍁 + Any question you’ve been curious to know about my muse!

Could be absolutely anything. Don’t be shy!

[itsaudreyaspen]

effervcscentx​:

               anxiety  drips  off  her  like  melting  snow  under  hot  sun  rays,  elijah  witnessing  it  the  moment  eyes  connected  with  hers.  “  deep  thought.  ”  they  comment  with  a  teasing  tone,  pushing  a  freshly  made  cocktail  towards  her,  perhaps  something  for  the  nerves  she’s  experiencing.  comfort  he  could  do,  but  advice  and  deep  conversations  caused  an  uncomfortable  tug  within  their  stomach,  worried  their  words  wouldn’t  match  tone  or  own  incapability  to  be  seen  as  serious  between  lines.  shoulder  shrugs,  allowing  the  question  to  settle  before  finally  answering.  “  i  don’t  got  any  complaints,  and  you?  —  you  wanna  talk  about  it?”  brow  arches,  ears  at  the  ready  to  dissolve  rant.

       she  takes  the  alcohol  ,  absence  of  a  tiny  umbrella  noted  ,  it  might  have  lightened  the  mood  .  even  so  ,  she  was  not  the  type  of  person  to  pour  her  heart  out  to  anyone  even  if  they  were  close  to  her  so  they  would  be  spared  this  time  .  a  small  smile  tugs  on  her  lips  and  it  is  offered  with  warmth  ,  underlined  care  because  she  always  seems  more  concerned  about  all  those  that  surround  her  than  her  own  decline  in  rational  thought  .  “  just  the  normal  afterparty  thoughts  like  ,  am  i  about  to  ruin  my  entire  life  ?  “  she  asks  rhetorically  ,  the  glass  reaching  her  lips  as  she  takes  a  sip  ,  “  but  i’m  glad  that  you’re  doing  well  and  thank  you  for  asking  about  me  .  i  wish  i  had  something  more  interesting  to  say  ...  i  always  do  .  “  

[itsaudreyaspen]

connecting with ... johnny ( @rxscss​ )

         to  audrey  ,  there  was  almost  nothing  more  despicable  than  johnny  kennedy  and  the  way  that  he  managed  to  treat  almost  anyone  that  came  into  contact  with  him  .  she  was  sure  that  each  soul  sucking  fling  that  he  had  just  added  to  the  depth  of  the  emptiness  inside  of  him  but  right  now  she  was  all  out  of  prayers  ,  hope  ...  whatever  else  she  had  pretended  to  hold  in  her  heart  beforee  to  keep  her  warm  .  something  despicable  was  exactly  what  she  needed  to  shatter  her  good  girl  reputation  once  and  for  all  ,  to  free  her  from  her  own  perceptions  &  everyone  else’s  .  the  text  messages  were  enough  and  as  soon  as  she  opened  the  door  ,  she  yanked  him  inside  ,  unusually  forward  for  a  girl  that  was  meant  to  be  a  picturesque  ,  porcelain  virgin  .  guidance  rough  ,  she  pushes  him  down  on  the  couch  in  her  living  room  ,  curtains  of  pinterest-esque  home  wide  open  ,  skirt  and  bralet  on  as  blonde  curls  spill  ,  taking  a  seat  on  his  lap  ,  his  body  between  her  thighs  ,  “  hm  ,  you  came  .  here  i  thought  you  were  meant  to  be  a  good  boy  these  days  ,  “  she  leans  in  ,  lips  near  to  his  ear  ,  breath  warm  ,  “  do  you  want  to  see  me  get  on  my  knees  and  say  my  prayers  ?  “  

[itsaudreyaspen]

connecting with . . . florence ( @delvedinto​ )

             she    felt    like    she    hadn’t    seen    florence    in    forever    .    perhaps    it    had    been    a    lifetime    since    she    had    seemed    to    be    in    the    same    circles    (    or    even    on    the    same    planet    as    other    people    )    .    a    strange    erratic    period    seemed    to    have    came    to    sudden    fruition    in    her    life    and    she    was    hardly    through    the    door    of    her    own    home    with    the    suitcase    and    bag    that    she    had    packed    upon    leaving    seveal    weeks    ago    ,    words    spilling    hopelessly    from    her    lips    ,    “    and    i    need    to    unpack    all    of    these    things    and    get    started    on    a    new    press    release    for    my    latest    client    .    total    disaster    !    i    can’t    believe    it    ...    and    i    missed    micah    and    maiya’s    birthday    because    i    was    ...    well    that    doesn’t    matter    ,    “    swatting    thoughts    away    ,    bag    unzips    and    belongings    clatter    to    the    ground    and    all    over    the    bed    ,    a    zone    of    chaos    forming    .    

[itsaudreyaspen]

text: johnny

johnny: are we banging yes or no?

audrey: 👍

[itsaudreyaspen]

sweetncthingss​:

the question was one that she’d answered more times than she could count at this point in her career. she’d made most of her living working under the eye of someone else. picked and pulled apart. there had been gossip on her hair, her weight, what she wore and the company she kept. it was a lot and eventually she had just learnt to tune it all out - there hadn’t really been any other choice in the matter. “i think i learnt a long time ago which parts of me to give to the world and which parts i had total control over, i don’t worry because i control the narrative, anything else i just…simply ignore. i’ve been doing it long enough.”

   audrey  had  always  been  viewed  as  someone  with  a  strong  backbone  .  she  was  able  to  get  through  hardship  ,  whenever  things  had  span  out  of  control  for  her  peers  then  she  was  there  to  hold  a  beacon  of  hope  ,  of  light  ...  yet  there  was  none  inside  of  her  .  she  nods  in  response  to  the  others  words  but  they  don’t  sink  in  ,  they  only  sit  skin  deep  on  her  .  two  beautiful  women  standing  on  the  cusp  of  greatness  but  audrey  doesn’t  see  anything  more  than  the  gaping  hole  inside  her  own  heart  .  “  and  if  there’s  nothing  more  of  yourself  than  what  the  world  has  already  seen  ?  “  she’s  asking  .  it’s  unfair  to  want  someone  else  to  answer  something  so  heavy  for  her  ,  she  knows  that  nothing  will  really  change  how  she  feels  ,  the  existential  questions  that  swirl  around  in  her  brain  without  answer  nor  respite  tiring  .  

[itsaudreyaspen]

connecting with . . . pandora ( @effervcscentx​ )

     in  recent  months  audrey’s  world  had  began  to  spin  off  of  its  axis  ,  earlier  interactions  with  florence  and  micah  the  tip  of  metaphorical  iceberg  .  she  was  the  kind  of  person  who  allowed  things  to  eat  her  alive  and  when  the  banquet  began  then  she’d  eat  her  own  heart  out  before  she  was  able  to  spill  out  what  was  haunting  her  to  anyone  else  ...  not  a  fear  of  weakness  as  much  as  the  depth  of  her  repression  &  depression  .  when  she  had  invited  pandora  to  the  hotel  room  ,  it  was  unclear  why  she  was  there  to  begin  with  and  after  door  is  slid  open  and  she  sits  on  the  edge  of  crisply  made  bed  ,  gaze  averting  to  the  window  before  back  to  pretty  features  .  “  i  needed  to  get  away  from  home  ...  and  i  was  staying  at  seb’s  but  i  can’t  stay  there  anymore  ...  and  you  can’t  tell  anyone  about  this  .  ever  .  “  

[itsaudreyaspen]

text: johnny

johnny: are u gonna ask me to fake bang you again?

johnny: because i don't leave my house at this ungodly hour for something that isn't the real deal.

audrey: well, we can just sit around and text instead if you want? maybe i can send you some prayers...

[itsaudreyaspen]

text: johnny

johnny: i like where this is going.

johnny: continue...

audrey: come over

audrey: [ location pin ]

[itsaudreyaspen]

[itsaudreyaspen]

calling . . . ophelia ( @sweetncthingss​ )

   fingertips  tracing  the  edges  of  designer  sunglasses  ,  the  sun  was  shining  brightly  and  with  her  parents  in  town  ,  audrey  was  certain  this  was  the  perfect  time  to  poison  the  well  .  she  wouldn’t  ever  literally  kill  somebody  but  she  certainly  was  about  to  give  them  the  shock  of  their  lives  and  her  anxiety  was  sky  high  ...  yet  ,  it  seemed  that  she  was  set  on  destruction  in  one  sense  .  spotting  ophelia  nearby  ,  she  slides  the  glasses  off  ,  “  how  do  you  stop  worrying  how  the  world  will  see  you  ?  “