itsjkimmm-blog - Tumblr blog

[itsjkimmm-blog]

hello advertising and media industry.

you know you love your major when you save all assigned readings onto your computer so you can read them again when you have free time.

I HAVE PASSION

NOW SOMEONE JUST HIRE ME!!!!!!! prease. i wanna wear a pencil skirt.

[itsjkimmm-blog]

i became a headless chicken again.

but the Word and good sisters around me filled me with truth to be hopeful and productive again.

"consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

no, i will not be discouraged nor will i remain in this rut. i will persevere =) 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

YES SIR.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord"

COLOSSIANS 3:23

in every freaking aspect of my freaking life.

work.  school. play. family. friends.

i'll do my best, do my best... i'll do my best for You. :) 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

you know what my heart needs...

those collars that dogs wear when they leave the yard and they're not supposed to!!!!

do you know what i am talking about

human puts collar on dog. when dog wanders off, the collar will shortly shock him. eventually the dog should learn not to cross that line or else there will be bad, bad pain.

my heart needs that. so it can stop wandering from the lord..... 

but you know what, my heart is dumb and prideful and i think every time my heart would convince itself it can handle it and go beyond.

dogs are smarter than my heart, i think.

i love dogs. 

dogs teach you stuff and cuddle with you and eat the food you drop at the dinner table you're too lazy to clean up. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

[itsjkimmm-blog]

jesus, i know you tell me the most important thing is to love... but i have no idea how that is supposed to look like in the contexts of my own life. how do you love people you don't trust? and how do you love people you fear? and how do you love people you know will turn their back on you?

jesus, how did you do it.  like a fetter, bind my heart. seal my heart. take throne. guide it.  

sigh. you can do all things, right? help me to trust you and your commands. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

"in this world you will have trouble. but take heart! i have overcome the world." john 16:33

[itsjkimmm-blog]

this post should have bullet points. oh well.

i'm sitting at paradiso and there's two white females sitting a table over from me. i'm trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, and from what i can muster up, they're discussing the possibility of traveling to Japan to do missions. they discuss prayer requests, lifestyle, finance, the need there, their love for God.........

i'm shocked.... encouraged. more shocked. and a little rebuked.

because i forgot. 

there's more to life than CFC. and it's not just the people of CFC who love God. there has to be a lot of people on this campus who are also trying to fight and grow.... you know, being submerged in this CFC culture, i think this campus is a battle zone and FAR is a safe place. but that's not true at all. and i stay in this ignorant mindset because i lack the boldness and desire to reach out and open my mouth. and because i act like FAR is my safe place.

and not even just on campus. think of tebow, jeremy lin, kylie biscutti..... MAN. i can just feel it. this is gonna be a good year. take that back. this year will probably the hardest year ever. but, i think it will be the most growing, rewarding, God's-glory-being-revealed year.  

my thoughts are everywhere. i'm just trying to get this down so i don't forget this later. or that conversation. or this conviction. 

i don't know how i feel and i don't know what i want to do... but hmm... all i know is that in the midst of everyday conversations, God should be at the tip of my tongue. and not merely because of this duty i have to "evangelize" or even any of that self-righteous crap people put on their shoulder.... but simply because He is the most important person in my life and the truth and foundation for every decision i make in my life. of course His name should come up. 

i want my "network" of brothers and sisters in Christ to grow, and not just be limited to this FAR Korean bubble. 

yeah... i don't know.... my heart wants to jump out of my chest.

God is not limited to a bible study or the stillness of my heart.... He is the most important person in my life, and the love of my life.

sigh, i'm so rebuked. i should do something write. i need to talk to Him about this.... and search my heart. and then my thoughts will be a little bit clearer, and my feet will be a little bit more planted.

till then... this is all i have. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

just a thought.

hamlet cried out and said, if i can't be in complete control of my circumstances, then i'm out of here. 

and then years later, the world said, "bravo," shed a tear, and distributed millions of copies to bookstores and classrooms everywhere. the world called this a classic, relevant.... noble, even.

isn't it apparent? that aching need for Jesus. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

a little prayer

lord, in the midst of every conversation, interaction, relationship, task, hour of the day, moment of stillness..... may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you.

[itsjkimmm-blog]

God is a God who redeems.

[itsjkimmm-blog]

God, sometimes this is what it feels like you want me to do.

[itsjkimmm-blog]

a headless chicken farm.

there once was a chicken farm...

on that farm were headless chickens. literally, none of them had heads. and so the chickens felt the way any human or chicken would feel if they didn't have such a vital body part like a head. unstable. incomplete. scared. but none of them knew why they felt these things, and they did not think to question their lack of heads. instead they just did weird things like paint their hair, wear clothes, and wear shoes. but that obviously didn't work because what they needed was a head, not clothing. but it made them feel better for the meanwhile, it hid their fear. 

imagine how foolish they must have looked to the farmer- a bunch of headless chickens running around wearing clothes. the farmer then brought in a new batch of chickens to the farm, except these chickens had heads. these chickens were supposed to feel stable, bold, and complete because of the heads. so the head chickens entered the farm with the purpose of displaying their stability, boldness, and sense of completeness. the farmer hoped that the headless chickens would see them and begin to wonder if that was the solution.

unfortunately, although the head chickens were sent to set an example, they forgot their purpose, forgot to hold onto their heads, and got sucked into the way of the headless chicken farm. they started wearing clothes. they started acting like the headless chickens. and when the farmer looked back onto the farm, he couldn't differentiate the chickens with the heads from the ones that didn't. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

be strong.

yes we are tempted, but not bound.

"Simon, Simon, satan has asked to to sift you as wheat. But I prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." luke 22:31-32

i think this is one of the most endearing and personal bible verses out there.  what i know from this verse: - Jesus knows my name and my situations. - Jesus's permission is needed, he is control. - Jesus is praying for me. - Jesus says i WILL turn back. - Jesus says to love others.  

[itsjkimmm-blog]

don't forget.

"growth" or "maturity" is not measured by the amount of mistakes you make, but how quickly you run back to Him. 

[itsjkimmm-blog]

together.

i think something beautiful happens when everyone worships together. i guess i've missed it this whole time, but on the first day of revival, i peeked open my eyes and just scanned through every pew. and then it hit me, it was actually very overwhelming and heart churning. when i saw all these people worshipping the same God i was worshipping, i realized they're not just arbitrary characters in my walk of life, but they're my brothers and sisters. they're souls. they're children of God. and i think that moment when i peeked open my eyes and scanned the sanctuary, i wanted to snapshot that moment forever. so the next time i was irritated, angry, jealous, or one of the other 3982 negative emotions i feel daily, i can remember that snapshot. it's the snapshot of that person so unaware of himself and his surrounding, desperately calling onto his maker, pouring out his vulnerability and desperate need and desire to love and be loved....

love one another

[itsjkimmm-blog]

rock paper scissors.

there's these two girls from my church who i absolutely adore. they're sisters. ana and elise. ana is now 6 and elise, 7. i was talking to them awhile ago and they were telling me all these stories about the fun things they did together. mostly out of curiosity i asked them if they ever got in fights. they both paused with blank faces. elise finally answered, "well sometimes we fight about sharing toys.... but then we just do rock-paper-scissors and follow that. rock-paper-scissors is enough, it solves everything." being the cynical person i am, definitely did not believe them. i pushed once more, "really? are you sure it solves everything?" ana chimed in: "well yeah, it's fair. cause sometimes she wins but other times i win, too. then we just play."

sometimes the little kids are the wise one. i think it would be great if rock-paper-scissors could single-handedly solve all our problems. it'd be great if fair was fair just as black is black and white is white. i think it would be great if rock-paper-scissors was enough.