itsme98z - Tumblr blog

[itsme98z]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[itsme98z]

The first time Tommy and Buck end up in bed together it's just to sleep. It's the end of an insanely long day, they're both in danger of falling asleep on Buck's couch, but Tommy doesn't really want to go home and Buck doesn't want him to leave.

It's awkward as hell. The bed is kind of small with two big guys in it. Buck enjoys the closeness, but for some reason it feels like he has too many limbs and no idea where they need to go in relation to Tommy.

Usually Buck's the big spoon when there's somebody else in bed with him. Now he's shifting and fidgeting as he tries to find a good sleeping position.

At some point Tommy grumbles: "Stop moving," throws an arm over Buck and pulls him close.

And Buck releases a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Because it should be uncomfortable; legs tangled together, knees and shoulders bumping, arms getting in the way.

But somehow they just fit.

[itsme98z]

It's not only sexy af but REAL bi/queer representation, which isn't half-assed or noncommittal, that Buck explicitly is hot for Tommy over masculine things. Tommy, in general, is very trad masc; he's super muscular, tall, with a strong jaw, deep voice, short hair. During their kisses (so far), neither is clean shaven. Buck likes Tommy's cleft. Tommy shows up to the wedding specifcally as a filthy, manly firefighter, and Buck calls him *a beast* in a flirty tone before eagerly kissing him.

Buck is attracted to Tommy *because of* his manliness, not in spite of it.

They really put two masc men together romantically/sexually on main channel cable TV and made no apologies, excuses, or compromises. 🏳️‍🌈 What a time to be alive. 🥲

[itsme98z]

Dashing through the snow

(via)

[itsme98z]

Taken in 2000 about a year into our relationship.

Taken in 2024 (last weekend). Didn’t quite get the pose or positioning right, but hey, we’re older and our memory ain’t what it used to be!

[itsme98z]

ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

[itsme98z]

[itsme98z]

It’s easy to judge and criticize religious families who have a ton of kids for being irresponsible, or make fun of them when they complain about being so overwhelmed (“well, you chose to have that many kids”), but like…many churches promote marital rape. Many religious husbands don’t let their wives use birth control. Almost no churches permit abortion, assuming their state even allows it. To assume these women are choosing their family size is absurd. And I know not only religious women suffer from these kinds of control. But having grown up in the church, I knew many women with 5+ children, no work experience, visible exhaustion and mental health distress, and no access to proper health care, and the best that people on the outside could say was, “Well, she chose this lifestyle.” And like…no! She didn’t! She has no control over her body! She was married off at 20 and her husband believes that he owns her, and her entire community affirms that. How the fuck was having so many children anywhere near her choice?

[itsme98z]

Nd culture is having no qualms with looking up a walkthrough for games because what matters more than figuring it out yourself is trying to get 100 percent.

.

[itsme98z]

[itsme98z]

“oh I’m too old for stuffed animals” skill issue. sorry you can’t appreciate little creatures made to hang out with you, I on the other hand am full of joyous whimsy and therefore vastly superior.

[itsme98z]

“autism wouldn’t have been difficult before capitalism” “nothing that caused me burnout existed before industrialization” well what if your boots feel weird against your skin. and your cape is itchy and too heavy. and your brooch keeps making an annoying sound everytime you move and this party is too loud and you’re hungry and there’s pigeon stew but you can’t stand the texture of pigeon so you ate some olives and now your hands feel oily and gross and you drank a little bit too much wine (bc there’s no clear water. also it was too bitter) so now your head hurts and you feel a little hot but not hot enough to take your cape off and you promised this time we leave when I asked, Aurelius! you promised! and don’t forget we still have a three hour ride back home you promised it’s not going to be like last time! or something of the sort.

[itsme98z]

[itsme98z]

this is the best screenshot in the whole show

[itsme98z]

Helluva Boss fandom, please note that Viv reposted this. He lied, like a liar.

[itsme98z]

Blitz I love you never change.

[itsme98z]

RACIST PENGUINS?

I don't know what's funnier: the implication that these penguins know enough about imps to have slurs for them that can't be repeated on this show, or the implication that Blitzø speaks penguin