ivannapacis-blog

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Let me brew you a good cup of happiness each time you wake up As we stay in bed, our bodies all tangled up together Saying nothing, but kissing more as if we'll never be late for work. The kitchen filled with echoes of laughter while sipping coffee in our naked toes And this is where I've pictured us, You and me in a home where the sun shines the brightest Darling, we will not run out of conversations, never holding things back 'cause the silence is only when I secretly thank the heavens for every morning I will have with you.

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we are the artworks crafted from up above we breathe and form a a masterpiece together let's all exhibit love 💛

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nothing perfect but something real this is how we are to be

[ivannapacis-blog]

When my eyes choose to see only the chaos of this world, I do nothing but look up and stare where the clouds and the stars are It leaves me refreshed along with the feeling that I haven't done it in a long while And as though they are watching, waiting for all the chances I would finally want to face them The day and the night magically falling into the same place over and over again A sky made up of tiny bits of every universe —my sweet sweet escape.

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“What are they for?”, someone asked.

“Those people you had a beautiful connection with; People who made you feel that belonging to someone isn't as hard as you think. Those who only shared their funny childhood stories for the first time with you. Those who notice that you smile better with your teeth out. The ones whose dreams consist of you, them and a little house filled with family portraits. But then, as always, when happy days are over —choosing to stay with you isn't the best option.” “I wonder if they were purposely made to leave us broken and sad or maybe they were made to just remind us that after all, this is why we still love.”  

– ivannapacis.tumblr.com

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If you’re alone now and trying to figure out if that someone really wants to be with you, to be a part of your life, then know it’s time to stop. Questioning someone’s worth who’s no longer in the picture answers everything right there. Debating and weighing things to defend a ghost to your self serve no purpose at all. It’s even more of a torture to actually see things happening before you, suspicions turning into reality, and eventually proving to yourself that you were wrong and right respectively which makes you more and more in denial because that’s not how you saw this coming. But just in case you forget how precious you are, this is a friendly reminder. You won’t and you can’t be stuck in this situation.

We all go through these confusing and rough times maybe not even worse compared to others you know but remember that there is always a definite and fair ending in your story. Although I know that things are easier said than done, (also adding up the fact about how OA, clingy, over-thinking and teleserye dramatic actress we can get sometimes lol) my hope is we will learn when to quit the what-if scenarios and learn when to acknowledge the truth and reality. You might have heard this saying, ‘You only get what you think you deserve’ over and over. So let me ask you, of all those questions you have for that someone else, have you even asked something for yourself? Have you ever tried figuring out what you truly deserve? If you haven’t, then the good news is it’s not yet too late and it will never be too late.

Take it with you wherever because you’ll only figure it out once you know who you really are more than anyone else. It’s the question that’s not needed to be answered immediately thus takes a long twisted, messy but beautiful process ahead. But again just in case you forget that you are someone precious, this is a friendly reminder. 😊

[ivannapacis-blog]

Me, my waves, a special delivery from that body of water you see A never ending search for a place to settle, to be silent Weary and lost but gracefully hidden through this high surge And You, you are the rock by the shore who awaits for my coming As you enjoy the sun that warmed you enough for me Just allowing me to crash onto you, Welcoming me in all calmness Where my peace is not questioned but is given But by the time comes that the ocean calls back for me Remember, my love, I will leave these marks on your sands To always remind you that I was once here And that me, my waves, will always find its way. Back to you.

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I pray that we will not eventually give up on love and all the magic that comes around with it, no matter how much complex and irrational this world has become, may our hearts never ever give up.

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Consider change as something therapeutic in your life. Just like your sunburnt skin that’s starting to painfully peel. You see every bit of you tearing apart. But the more it’s gone the more you are becoming whole again. You wake up to a brand new flesh and it signifies that you have healed —to a healthier state of body, soul and mind.

ivannapacis.tumblr.com

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your sun rises when it’s already my time to bed a sweet ‘Good morning’ whilst in dinner, you never forget that whisper will soon be a breath in my face as I familiarize this body with your warmth of embrace i imagine long walks by the ocean side by side confessing our love and sweep it in the tide though my dreams fool me, but my heart remembers it might take too long, still, i look forward to December then your silence awoken this silly mind to sleep and your promise seemed too impossible to keep now your voice haunts me when it’s my time to bed ‘please wait for me’, were the exact words you said

ivannapacis.tumblr.com

[ivannapacis-blog]

Alive ✨

don’t forget how we first said hello, in a room filled with dancing shadows

how we exchanged the unknowns from each other, upon meeting a newly found stranger

how we secretly wished this moment won’t end, hoping our bond never twist nor bend

how much our eyes smiled before parting ways, because we know we still have lots of every day.

how you said that night wouldn’t be the last, but darling you left me just as fast.

but I hope you’ll never forget how I wanted you back in my life. how badly i missed being alive.

-Ivanna Pacis

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I will take you to the beautiful views I fell in love with

I will take you to those spots which reminds me of my childhood

I will take you to the places I broke down, wondering if you will ever come

And I, will take you somewhere that will mean so much only to the both of us

I’ll have to take you, always, by the hand.

-Ivanna Pacis

[ivannapacis-blog]

She was afraid to want things for herself. She didn’t think she deserved them.

Susan Choi, American Woman  (via buhaybabae)

[ivannapacis-blog]

Life

has been a rollercoaster ride for the past months. I lost so much of my self-confidence without any distinct reason at all which made me hate myself. I've been way too sensitive about things I hear from other people and it made me look so little of myself. I stopped trusting my gut feelings but it only lead me to hurting myself. I was completely in denial that I wasn't perfect. I started questioning who I am and even the things I used to believe in. I lost faith, in all aspects and I've been trying hard to gain it back. My heart became more and more fearful that I keep sheltering myself away from the happiness I didn't know I deserve; which I am also scared of. I became too conscious with what other people have to say about me that I started changing my character in favor of them. I think we are only capable of covering up our own little insecurities but I think it's humanly impossible to achieve the highest and ultimate level of self-confidence. Maybe some who thinks they're already up there will say otherwise. Though it's never wrong to try, it's still okay if we couldn't. It's okay! That's why sometimes I judge people less than what I see in their posts. Neither do I can tell the authenticity of what I feel compare to what others see in me virtually. Nevertheless, the way I learned how to listen to myself more than anybody, helps me get through all chances of being solely nega again. :)

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i. i never know how to look at people’s eyes when i talk to them so i look at their shoulders and sometimes envy the way they’re steady while everything i am shakes ii. today while on the phone i almost told the stranger on the other line about the sadness iii. would they have believed? iv. even my best friend is tired v. somehow i’m glad that no one has asked about the list of things i could have done if only i was better

Irally Cariaso, February 7 (via ivc-spilledink)

Always timely

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2016 is passing so fast I forgot to realize we’re halfway through the year and we will be welcoming a new one soon. I also forgot what I was thinking moments before we kissed 2015 goodbye. I can’t remember if I am wherever I thought myself would be by now. It scares me to think that lifetime plans don’t really work- at least to me.

To sum everything up, I graduated, got a boyfriend, looked for a job, ended that relationship and now found a job just for the sake of it. This is obviously not how I dreamed it to be, because whatever I pictured myself in doesn’t really exist. Yet.

I read that people should know what they want because that’s the only thing they surely know of. But I wonder, despite all of our own personal aspirations, how do we really know what we want?

Photo by: Ben Bigalbal @benbigs