ivytears

[ivytears]

im cursed to always live in a house without ceilings

and drown in the rain

[ivytears]

suddenly im 15 again

and i can’t stop anyone from leaving

(you promised you’d be the one who stayed)

[ivytears]

when words and actions are not enough the only thing left is poetry

[ivytears]

every 3-5 days i remember i’m not actually likeable and my friendships are all hanging by a thread that i have to be very careful with

[ivytears]

to a

i miss my best friend

it’s such a raw feeling i can’t express it with silly metaphors like i usually do when i don’t want to talk about it

i just miss you too much to think about them

[ivytears]

why do i have to know you

but you just forget everything

[ivytears]

the fact this is still true today LMAO

to a

why’d you only call me when shes not there

[ivytears]

i was misled to believing there would always be someone there to listen

[ivytears]

rereading my old posts…. oh baby you were so young and so sad

[ivytears]

girl why was i socrates before knowing who socrates was

what is love?

let’s start with an easier question, shall we?

identify what is not love.

have that in mind. why did you choose that as your representation of “not love”?

love is not meant to hurt. that’s the answer you were looking for.

you know your true definition of love. we all know ours. it’s real and exact. however, we just can’t express it. but when you know, you know

[ivytears]

realizing that your trauma could (and will) make you unlovable is such a hard punch in the gut i don’t wish this to anyone

[ivytears]

but i can count on you to tell me the truth

when you’ve been drinking and you’re wearing a mask

the candles are almost melted

the drinks were finished hours ago

and i sit with your mask on my lap

you spilled your wine glass on my dress

i spilled myself all over you

we’re the last ones at the party

and we’ve taken off our costumes, in the end

the lightbulb flickers from time to time

the decorations have disappeared

and people have passed out on the floor

but it’s only you and me, masks off

with your mask off, i can see your face

the alcohol’s got you flushed

your eyes reflect the mirrorball

but they are glued to me

[ivytears]

i just want my best friend back.

there are no more words to describe a raw and human feeling like this;

i just want my best friend back

[ivytears]

i just want to be able to tell my friends how much i love them without feeling like they don’t love me back

[ivytears]

i fear stillness

i fear my future being a straight line

settled in a random small town in my country

the same routine every day

i fear regretting everything i’ve done

because it was for nothing, in the end

water shouldn’t be still

water should be running, clashing, forming waves

that’s when it’s the most fun to swim

[ivytears]

i can’t believe it took me so long to love you like this

it feels like i’m letting go of an old and worn out me and embracing a new chapter

one where i’m not locked to you but we are intertwined

where i’m free and insane and new

i love you like a true blue, like this is how it was meant to be

[ivytears]

i hate it when people try to decode the metaphors of things that aren’t metaphorical; you just get in your soul what it means

stop trying to explain “the universe said you’re the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code - the universe said i love you because you are love”

it means exactly that. you are love, the universe and everything in between. you can’t decode it because it has no tangible meaning. you just tear up reading the words and everything clicks