ivyvanhelsing

[ivyvanhelsing]

one must imagine sisyphus grinding his penis on the rock, moaning wantonly

[ivyvanhelsing]

nothing is more important than taking ur panel off and exposing ur wires. and u should let me jam this screwdriver in there and nothing is more important than this

[ivyvanhelsing]

convinced my 10 y/o nephew to watch naruto and he sent me this i'm screaming

[ivyvanhelsing]

[ivyvanhelsing]

‼️ Breaking: Cloth mother and wire mother have been caught "lezzing out"

[ivyvanhelsing]

"Good Morning, Rose"

My short story for the wlw anthology GLIMM*R!

[ivyvanhelsing]

tanaka single action army demo i recorded for a friend :3 kept you waiting huh?

[ivyvanhelsing]

cdrw dump but it's mostly rewind and also rodimus and waspinator and wishbone are here

[ivyvanhelsing]

Luigi… thunder. 

[ivyvanhelsing]

So the new itch.io guidelines are out and they are both predictably bad and also quite unpredictably bad. There's so much to go over here but here are some of the highlights:

First we have the broadly worded content restrictions. So much of this is just strictly bad for several reasons (for example, you cannot have a NSFW game that doesn't even fetishize rape but has rape be an important thematic element under these new rules) but my personal favorite is that these are so broad that huge swaths of content are just banned from itch.io. You like VNs of monster girls having sex? Sorry, but your favorite spider girl VN is animal-related, we cannot prove that you don't want to fuck spiders so its gone.

(a real problem anyone thinks about??????)

Game where you can transformed by magical artifacts and sometimes fucked? Sorry, that's non-consensual content. Banned. You cannot be transformed into a maid against your will. You also cannot have your protagonist call an older woman "mommy" because likeeeee that's incestual right?

"Minor-presenting" what the fuck does this mean. Genuinely. If a grown woman wears a fetish uniform is that minor presenting??? What the fuck are you talking about.

Also by the way if they feel your content is "too bad" for their platform, which includes a list of conditions incredibly broad to contain things like "a woman who likes being gagged during sex", they will just steal your revenue. No no no not just the revenue from the work in question. All of it. This makes any NSFW work a ticking timebomb, especially since itch.io doesn't have the fucking staff to deal with all of this! There's no second chances. You are not protected against fraudulent report or our dumb as fuck employees.

itch.io right now is just not a safe platform for NSFW content, and honestly, it really should be said, a fair swath of SFW content too. Don't use it, find alternative ways to survive in the market right now.

It's not going to be easy, but it's necessary. Here's a link to an article going over some solutions. I cannot personally vouch for any of these in particular but you need to do what you gotta.

Also, harass VISA and Mastercard. Phone calls over emails. Ruin their workflow. Do it for weeks, don't give up.

[ivyvanhelsing]

“human” girl who gets really blushy and embarrassed walking through pet stores

[ivyvanhelsing]

Please keep work place safety in mind at all times

THESE ARE DRAWINGS. I DREW THESE.

[ivyvanhelsing]

it's occasionally hard for me not to view kris deltarune as a player self-insert cause. i'm controlling them. the game has to constantly remind you that you're only the soul and it still sometimes slips by me

[ivyvanhelsing]

are people really thinking the South Park episode with Trump is revolutionary or what

[ivyvanhelsing]

i think there’s actually nothing better than being randomly told “I love you” after doing something characteristically stupid. Like what do you mean I’m a lovable person and I just did something silly and you thought “of course you would do that. I love you.”. No better feeling

[ivyvanhelsing]

DO YOUR PART!!!! MAKE OUT WITH A TGIRL'S BALLS TODAY!!!

[ivyvanhelsing]

a dark elf on her overheating gaming computer. tank top. sweaty as all hell. 3am. not tired at all due to her nocturnal dark elf lifestyle. blue light filtering glasses on though her eyes are sensitive to light