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iwantedthatpain · 2 years ago

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Everything you need to know : Failed Coming Out 2019

This is an answer to an anon I've received.

I typed it all and Tumblr said there was an error when I went and tried to published it. So I had to type it all again but lost the anon....

Here's the question: could you tell me more about her wanting to come out in 2019? sorry for asking again I'm new on the fandom!

Hi!

It will be my pleasure! This is such an important part of the Gaylor Lore to know and understand, especially when you are new in the fandom.

This theory has been confirmed, but we'll get to it in a minute.

Also, I'm so sorry because learning about what went down during Lover Era is a transformative experiece in the Gaylor fandom, in a very heartbreaking way.

So back in 2019 Taylor wanted to come out with the Lover Era.

June 30th during the New York City Pride wich was also the Stonewall's 50th anniversary, was supposed to be the day it happened.

This date might be familiar to you, because it's the date we learned at the same time as Taylor about her masters being sold to Scooter Braun.

So let's start at the begining of all of this. I won't go through ALL the details because my post will never end. But I'll cover the most important ones.

Right at the begining of the year, insiders were already talking about the fact that Taylor was planing to come out that year in podcasts and blind items.

Then in March 6th (Karlie and Taylor's anniversary)

Taylor does a post hinting at this new era. The very first lyrics we get (We got hints at ME back in February):

Daylight the song is about Karlie. But this line specifically means coming out.

Stepping into the daylight, and letting everyone see the real you.

(Also worth noting the lesbian filter)

Taylor started being really loud in the posts she made from now on. Flagging rainbow, lesbian and bi colors every chances she got.

And flagging Butterflies. Wich is very important thematically in Lover and coming out.

Side note on the Butterfly meaning:

Remembre how in reputation, snake was a really important theme?

And how in Lover it switched to butterflies?

More specifically it switched to Snakes transforming into butterflies?

There's a species of butterflies, that when they are in the chrysalid phase of their transformation into a butterfly, can look like a snake if they feel unsafe or attacked in order to protect themselves.

Then, after the average 13 days waiting period, they transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

Basically what Taylor was doing, protecting herself during reputation with that "personna" like she described.

And now, she was ready to finally transforms and have a new beginning.

Here's a description of what butterflies means:

A powerful beacon of growth and new beginnings, the butterfly signifies the power of transformation and the incredible feats we can achieve when we trust ourselves. We all have the ability to listen to our innate wisdom, guide ourselves through difficult times, and emerge better and stronger than before.

The ME! of it all:

Ok back into the Lover Era timeline!

So all those rainbow posts were leading up to the first single: ME!

Even Taylor Nation was pretty loud about this (number of rainbows = number of days leading to ME! release):

3 days before ME! release, Taylor performs at the Time 100 Gala and it's the first and only time she switched so very clearly pronouns in the song, multiple times:

She sings repeatedly : I want HER midnights

And she even seems to be getting more and more confortable as the song goes on and singing it louder and louder.

She also looks at the crowd while singing it.

Then she releases ME!

That was really the first part of her coming out.

And honnestly, she shouldn't have had to do more than this.

ME! was released on April 26th.

April 26th in 2019 was Lesbian Visibility Day.

And she captionned the release with: ME! Out Now!

A song about how she is unique as a Lover...

That is without mentioning the amount of rainbows everywhere in that MV as well as other references.

Worth noting that in 2019 Lil NasX came out in a MV with the rainbow tower and was annoyed that people didn't get it?

Taylor also probably deadass thought that she made it obvious:

May & June 2019 leading up to the big coming out:

Taylor continues to be as loud as she can.

She makes a very generous donation to GLAAD:

She sings ME! every chances she gets, while flagging the Lesbian Flag.

Taylor Nation also keeps on being really loud:

And releases a song and music video about homophobia and includes herself front and centered in the LGBTQ+ community (represented by the Trailer park, note how Ryan Reynolds, the only straight person in the MV is outside of this park, not in it like Taylor).

With a bi flag wig...

So yeah, she was trying really hard to make people see her.

Christian Siriano and the dress...

Back in April, we learned that Christian Siriano (a fashion designer) was working on a project for Taylor:

In June, he started teasing us about a mistery rainbow dress for an unnknown person:

It was heavily rumored that it would be the dress used by Taylor to come out at the end of Pride Month.

He kind of confirmed it with this post:

Then. June 30th.

The New York City Pride.

Taylor planned to come out at the event.

Employees on site, starts to be warned about this (you can find some comments online).

Taylor learns at the same time as us that her masters were sold to Scooter Braun.

She never makes it to Pride.

And Billy Porter ends up wearing the dress:

But. You can see that the dress was not meant to be worn by him. It doesn't fit well and the "nude" parts shows that it was meant to be worn by a white person.

In 2022, Christian confirmed it by dueting a TikTok talking specifically about this.

He deleted it right after but you can still find it on TikTok: (X)

Last minutes changes to Lover:

We now know that Taylor scrapped two songs from Lover: All Of The Girls You Loved Before and Need.

All Of The Girls is really loud and very clearly talks about a girl. Wich Taylor couldn't afford if she didn't want to/couldn't come out.

London Boy was actually written and added really last minute to the album.

Really interesting, because this is her loudest song about her loving boyfriend. Wich is a brilliant thing to do if you want to limit the public speculation after all the flagging that you did...

We know it was last minute, because Taylor sampled it on Cold War from Cautious Clay. (X)

He was called in the middle of the night and had to approve the sample right away.

Interesting fact: Cold War was featured in Book Smart, a movie Taylor promoted that year.

The song plays during a lesbian sex scene...

The intro to London Boy is actually Idris Elba in a interview where he was talking about a charity where he sold a date with him.

You know, people paid to date him...

The shift in the Lover Era:

After this, you can start to see a shift. Where it was colorful sequin and rainbows everywhere with colorful choreography.

She now dresses in black, is incredibly sad and sings mostly accousting song.

Like her BBC 1 performance or Lover In Paris:

Miss Americana:

Miss Americana was supposed to be her coming out documentary.

It has been confirmed by the director of the project that a lot of footage has been scrapped.

Also, the documentary was supposed to be called : Is It Cool That I Said All That?

This is why the documentary sometimes feels like something is missing and some parts are rushed.

They tried to switch her coming out approach by making it her political activism era.

Taylor confirms it in Anti-Hero MV:

youtube

She's pierced through the heart by The Archer.

Her queerness starts showing (she's bleeding lavender glitters).

She tries to cover it up by taking the table cloth.

Her wanting to cover it spoils the dinner for everyone and they leave her.

And while she sings : "Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, Like some kind of congressman?"

She covers her queerness with a sticker : Vote For Me, For Everything

Confirming that the political activism during Lover Era and mostly Miss Americana was in fact really to cover the fact that she was already one foot out of the closet when they had to backtrack.

With this. Take a look at the closing scene of Miss Americana. When The Archer is playing in the background.

It's a montage of Taylor talking to someone and Taylor on the release night of Lover.

Look at what Taylor says...

Queerbaiting Backlash:

This might be the worse part in my opinion.

Since she was flagging so hard to come out.

Sadly, most people didn't get that that was exactly what she was trying to do.

And medias massively accused her of queerbaiting.

And using the queer community.

I'm still so mad and heartbroken about this....

reusing an old Twitter post...

Even queer fans...:

Frankly, speculating about her sexuality would have been way less damaging than this...

Songs about this event:

Taylor wrote a lot about this failed coming out.

The Archer, was her song about her anxiety about coming out. And begging her fans to stay.

I'm not gonna do a full lyrics analysis because this post is already a novel.

But read those lyrics with that in mind and you'll see how loud it is, and heartbreaking.

"I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you"

Also. Worth noting that after Lover was released and she was not able to come out, she switched one lyric in that song.

Instead of "Combat, I'm ready for combat" singular (coming out was the combat she was ready to face)

She now sings every time "Combats, I'm ready for Combats", because coming out has turned into multiple battles that she has to face now...

Hoax:

Noticed how she says that all of her heroes die all alone in The Archer?

Her fear that if she comes out, all her fans would leave.

In Hoax she says: "You know the hero died so what's the point of keeping score movie for?"

Because with her Master Heist and everything, she was not able to be one of those heroes herself... The hero that she wanted to be died in that moment because she was unable to come out.

Edit: I messed up the lyrics. But it's even more telling. Because the movie she's talking about is Miss Americana, once she was unable to come out.

Evermore:

This song is litteraly her looking back at what happened and how she managed to process everything and ultimatly heal even though it felt at the start like she would never be able to.

"I've been down since July" - June 30th = failed coming out

"Motion capture, put me in a bad light" - Queerbaiting allegations. And Miss Americana being rebranded.

"Writting letters, adressed to the fire" - Her hundred thrown out speeches that she almost said.

"I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause, on the very moment all was lost" - June 30th...

"Sending signals, to be double crossed" - Her flagging strongly on her way to come out, only to be accused of queerbaiting.

Right Where You Left Me:

The restaurant is a metaphor for the closet.

"Sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light"

Doesn't really feel like a restaurant, but her hiding in the closet.

"I swear, you could hear a hairpin drop. Right when I felt the moment stopped"

Droping hairpins is giving hints that you are gay.

She was doing this very loudly right before she was kept from coming out.

"Dust collected on my pinned up hair"

Her hair are still pinned up because she was not able to come out. And dust collected over time that she spent forced in the closet.

Anti-Hero:

AH is really The Archer 2.0, and talks about the same fear of coming out and being abandonned.

The fact that she decided to depict herself as the Anti-Hero is both really interesting and heartbreaking.

Because to her, the hero was the version of herself that was able to come out...

Listen to Change in the perspective of being able to come out and change the face of the industry:

"Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Fight for what we've worked for all these years

And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives

But we'll stand up champions tonight"

They were the Champions.

Side note: she sang this song at the ACMA in 2010, two weeks before Chely Wright's coming out.

When we know that she has knowed and worked with Chely since about 2007.

Then Taylor wrote Long Live one month after Chely Wright's coming out.

Listen to the song with the same perspective as Change now.

"You held your head like a hero, on a history book page"

Chely Wright came out in May 2010. Taylor wrote Long Live in June 2010.

Look at the parallels of both songs.

And now, look at her choice to name that song Anti-Hero after everything that hapenned....

She also wrote Long Story Short and The Great War about that event, but this is for another post and it's about how this event affected her relationship with Karlie.

How she thought she was betrayed but ultimately found out it was not the case.

And how they both made it through.

Ok, I'm exhausted lol.

Sorry for writting a novel.

But this is such an important part of Taylor's history and I really wanted to do it justice (hope I was able to).

If you are still reading...Thank you for your question!

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iwantedthatpain · 2 years ago

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Taylor Swift/Julianne Hough Masterpost

Hey guys! I've been doing quite a bit of research on Taylor for a school project, and I've stumbled upon a lot of new evidence pointing towards some kind of relationship between Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough.

According to Julianne, she first met Taylor at a 2007 Christmas party.

They attended a few of the same events, like CRS 39 A.R.T.S. in March 2008.

Taylor, Julianne, and Kellie Pickler all hosted CMA Music Festival: Country's Night to Rock together, which they filmed June 5-8 of 2008. It aired September 8th.

They did this interview together for the event. Highlights include Taylor calling Kellie her "sister" then proceeding to discuss Julianne's "rockin' body". Taylor and Julianne didn't really hang out much outside of events at this point, though.

Both of them attended Katy Perry's 25th birthday party on October 24, 2009. They were papped leaving the party arm-in-arm, with each other's initials painted on their clothing.

As I'm sure you may have also noticed, Julianne has blue handprints on her boobs. If you take a closer look at Taylor's hand, you can see on the edge of her palm that it's stained the same color blue.

There's not really much other blue paint on either of them, so the handprints were presumably Taylor's doing.

There's another set of Taylor's initials on Julianne's back, along with more blue on her pants, but it looks to me like both of them were just sitting in blue paint.

Taylor tweeted this later that night:

Unfortunately, most of Taylor's tweets from that era have been since deleted, but we can tell from Julianne's page that they started getting close after that.

Throughout all of this, Taylor S. has been dating Taylor L, and Julianne Hough was with her boyfriend of over a year, Chuck Wicks. 2 weeks after the paint party, on November 10, 2009, it was announced that Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks had amicably split.

It wasn't until December 14, 2020 that Chuck Wicks revealed on his podcast, "Talk To Chuck", that that had been a facade.

According to Chuck, their relationship ended because he found out "out of nowhere" that Julianne was "not who [he] thought [she] was", but that he couldn't tell anyone the specific reason.

To give some background on Julianne, she comes from a strict, extremely conservative Mormon family in Utah.

She publicly came out as "not straight" in 2019, after having come out to her then-husband Brooks Laich in 2017. She said in another 2019 interview that "it's just always been [her] truth", but that she had had to deal with a lot of shame and guilt around her sexuality throughout her life due to the way she was raised.

If her inclination was to come out to her partners first, is it possible that she may have mentioned to Chuck Wicks that she was queer, and gotten dumped as a result? Or maybe he found out on his own, somehow?

Julianne, who dabbled in the music industry, wrote a song immediately after her breakup with Chuck Wicks. It was released the next summer as a single for her upcoming album, but the album was ultimately never released.

The song is called "Is That So Wrong", and it's incredibly queer-coded.

I'm pretty sure if I asked ChatGPT to write me a song about a sapphic ex-mormon wanting to kiss her female friend, it couldn't come up with something better than this. Keep in mind, Julianne tweeted about her and Taylor's "movie night" together 2 days after her breakup with Chuck was announced.

So anyways, by this point, we've reached the beginning of December, when Taylor S called things off with Taylor L. Immediately afterwards, she made her very first property purchase ever, a $2 million condo.........in the same building as Julianne Hough.

The two girls started hanging out a lot- shopping together on Christmas Eve, having spa days, etc. But, as we know, Taylor started dating John Mayer shortly afterwards.

John and Taylor break up in February. Shortly afterwards, Taylor invites Julianne Hough to be her surprise guest at the 2010 Country Radio Seminar, along with Gloriana.

Julianne had some dating rumors with Dane Cook in March.

They remain friends until around mid-April, when things seem to go dark after Julianne goes to Taylor's 4/15 concert at the Staples Center in LA. It's hard to say definitively if they're hanging out or not since they live in the same building and could easily see each other without being papped, but they aren't spotted in the same place until the 2010 CMT Awards on June 9. Here's what's interesting about this:

The liner note for The Story of Us is "CMT AWARDS", and it's always been presumed to be about John Mayer, since he was the only known ex of hers in attendance. Taylor said that Dear John and The Story of Us are about the same person. That always confused me, though, because the relationship described in The Story of Us seems to be pretty directly contradictory to the relationship described in Dear John (and Would've, Could've, Should've).

Dear John is basically just 7 minutes of Taylor listing every single reason that she cut John Mayer off. Hence, "I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why".

At the beginning of The Story of Us, Taylor says "A simple complication, miscommunications lead to fallout". Nothing in Dear John says "simple complication" to me, and there wasn't a "fallout", SHE cut HIM off.

The Story of Us has the lyric "I'm scared to see the ending", which implies that the ending hasn't necessarily happened yet. But Taylor and John broke up 4 months prior.

The Story of Us also explicitly states that "we're not speaking". Here's Taylor and John, at the 2010 CMT Awards...speaking....

Look, I've had my share of toxic relationships. I know feelings are complicated and stuff. She could have just been going through the ups and downs of grieving a breakup, or taking creative liberties with the song. But...

Julianne Hough was also at the CMT Awards, not interacting with her "bestie", Taylor at all. AND, she went public with her new boyfriend, Ryan Seacrest, only 8 days after this.

Think about The Story of Us in the context of all of this relationship overlap. Maybe Taylor and Julianne were hooking up, but each still struggling to come to terms with being queer, so they never officially dated. Maybe they continued seeing other guys while they were hooking up, making each other jealous, but refusing to communicate about it because they didn't want to acknowledge their romantic feelings for each other out loud. "A simple complication, miscommunications lead to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can't break through"; "Why are we pretending this is nothing?"; "This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less"; "I would lay my armor down if you said you'd rather love than fight"; "I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me?" It all just seems to fit that scenario better than John.

By any means, Taylor and Julianne seem to have eventually patched things up, because Taylor spent the morning of her 21st birthday going out for coffee with Julianne, after an early morning radio interview. Jake may have been infamously ditching her in LA, but her best friends, family, and entire band were all in town for her party that night. She still chose to spend the morning alone with Julianne.

Outside of this glorious photo of Taylor looking utterly thrilled to be posing with Julianne and her boyfriend at the ACMs in April 2011, they were never seen in public together again as far as I can tell. But like I said, they did continue to live in the same building until January 2013, so I can't definitively say that they stopped spending time together at that point.

Not to be dramatic or anything, but Taylor looks like she wants to die in this moment, and Julianne looks equally thrilled to have Taylor interacting with her boyfriend. And those are some pretty stiff poses for two girls who used to paint-grab each others boobs, don't you think?

Julianne did debut her engagement ring at Taylor's 1989 concert in 2015, which gives me serious Karlie vibes, but they seem to no longer be friends at all, which seems to be the pattern with Taylor and her exes.

I also find it interesting that, up until she came out publicly, even Julianne’s friends were still touting her “ally” status. She had been out in her personal life for multiple years at that point. Remind you of any other closeted, musical blondes that like to dance around in rainbow outfits for the sake of “allyship”?

Julianne ultimately came out to the public on August 1, 2019, just 3 weeks before the release of Lover. Maybe she, like everyone else, expected Lover to be Taylor’s coming out album and decided to try to get ahead of the speculation by coming out on her own terms?

*It's worth noting that Julianne has a bit of a problematic past, including doing Blackface for a Halloween costume in 2013 and outing a contestant on DWTS as gay back in 2015 when she was a judge.

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