iwilltrustthepromise-blog

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This week has been long and hellish. I am happy it's Friday. I am not happy it's not time for me to go to bed.

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

So. Like, should I keep being the bigger person? Or just be the person who is kind but doesn’t go out of her way? Father’s day is coming up. And I’m having E make J a little something. But, I really am struggling with how much we should do (By that I obviously mean *I* should do...) for her dad. He saw me on Mother’s day and didn’t mention anything about it. No happy mother’s day. Even when I told his mom Happy Mother’s Day to her face... right in front of him. We also mailed a birthday card to him that I had E draw in and I also kept her up late on his birthday so they could have extra phone time.... But ya know, my birthday passed without anything. I know its *different* seeing how she lives with me and not her dada. But seriously. I am over going out of my way. Do I have to? Will just a card do for Father’s Day? Do I even have to do that? What do you think?

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

So, I used to despise guys wearing cargo shorts. I was like “What are you doing with all these pockets? no one needs so many pockets.” But now that I have a toddler, it is so attractive when J says to me “I’ll just put it in my pocket” referring to his 10 previously useless pockets on his shorts.  The things moms find sexy, I tell ya.

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My sweet E comes home from her daddy’s tomorrow. She’s been gone two weeks. Yes. You read that right, two weeks. I have been just dying on the inside and my heart feels twisted up. I pray that it will be some time before we have to do this again. It was tooo long. I have been hearing her sweet voice on the other end of the phone each day. She sends me kisses back with such enthusiasm. But I just can not wait to actually kiss her tomorrow. To snug snug her, tickle under her chin, tell her I love her in her ear... And to just be a mama again. I have felt empty and unfortunately I have taken it out on J. Besides our dogs being super sick the whole time E has been gone... I have just been short tempered and pretty rude to him. I feel so bad. Everyone told me “it’ll be nice to have some time just you. You don’t know what it’s like to just be a couple without a child.” and ya know, that seemed nice. I kind of felt like “oh yea, J didn’t know me before E... maybe we can be that fun couple without kids for 2 weeks.” and no. That was just a bad idea. I don’t want to be anything but a mom. And he doesn’t want to be anything but her dad. I saw in him how much he missed her too and it was comforting. I mean, we didn’t spend two weeks balled up in bed crying or anything. But we did have those moments. For that I am thankful though. He loves her like a daddy should and he gets it. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t get it.  So here’s to him. The one who holds onto us both. Who makes me feel like he was never not there.  And here’s to my girl coming home tomorrow. She was so very missed and thought about. 

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

My favorite jammies. My favorite little smile. My favorite piggy tails.

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

Five Things:

5 things you love: My family. Jesus. The outdoors. Dogs. Photography.

5 things you hate: People who are late. The color orange in clothing. The smell of cilantro. People who don’t use their turn signals. The Kardashian craze.

5 things you’re looking forward to in the future: Watching E grow. Growing our family. Buying our first home. My sister’s wedding. Family summer vacations.

5 shows you like to watch: This is Us. Nashville, How to Get Away With Murder. The Bachelor. Life in Pieces.

5 facts about yourself: Wedding photography is my passion. Pampering women with Posh is my other. I really am a grandma at heart. I have an old soul. I have lived in several places. Nothing beats home. Nothing ever will. I miss my babies from my toddler classroom. Sometimes I want to go back to teaching.

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

Y’all. I really want to stay active on Tumblr but I keep falling off the bandwagon. Maybe if I put the app on my phone... It’s comforting reading your blogs and knowing that I’m not doing parenthood alone. I need to keep at this thing!

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

I joined Perfectly Posh recently! I figured since I have mostly mama followers here, that I would share with you! Posh is a line of AMAZING pampering products. They’re naturally based, made in the USA and all under $25. One of my favorite things about the brand is that they’re also cruelty free. This includes the places where they get their ingredients. They go as far as to make sure that the places where they get their palm oil are thriving in that industry and help them rebuild their supply. I won’t be one of those pushy independent consultants that are constantly posting, but I did want to give you all a chance to look through my site and see if anything interests you! I’ll also be taking on a few parties next month, let me know if you’d like to receive free product by hosting one.  I’m ALSO doing a give away of my favorite Posh product today on my facebook group which you can find at - www.facebook.com/groups/poshk You can find my site at - www.poshkayla.com PM me your address if you’d like to get some samples or to chat about Posh or have questions! 

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My sin was great; Your love was greater.

Hillsong Worship // What A Beautiful Name (via foreverhelives)

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Started a diet yesterday. Depression got me wanting pizza today. I am giving in. Life is too short and I’m just going to be fat. 

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

If I could keep you little, I’d keep you close to me. But then I’d miss you growing into who you’re meant to be.

(via hellobabyylilah)

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I’m having a LLR pop-up tonight. If you want to join in, let me know!

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war.

Nikita Gill (via quotemadness)

[iwilltrustthepromise-blog]

Where hope grows, miracles blossom.

Elna Rae (via wonderrlove)