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People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just gonna work out. People are wrong.

OTH (via sirasshole)

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A Story A Day #166

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I still check on you.

No matter what happened between us, or how long its been since we last talked, I still care, I wanna know you’re doing and feeling. I don’t stalk you but just enough to know you’re okay because you’re still that person I miss and the person who will always be in my heart.

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Isaw hits (at Mang Raul's BBQ Haus)

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Strong 😜 (at Vito Cruz Manila)

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Niggas banana ridin'

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Ensayo (at Infinitea Molino, Bacoor)

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In moving on, there's no such thing as "paano", coz there are no rules nor guidelines to follow when you want to mend your broken heart. Nasa sayo na yun kung paano mo ihahandle yung sugatan mong puso, maraming ways unang una na dun is love yourself :) ~A

Wow. Una kong nakita yung ~A at napangiti ako! Haha thanks for answering! :)

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Happy Anniversary!

Just earlier today, I had this urge to open my WordPress account. I wanted to write about my recent heartbreak and my job hunting experiences but I just can’t do so. I have a lot to say but it feels like it’s going to take a lot from me. Well, I still want to write about it. I’m just looking for the right timing; when my emotions are not overshadowing me.

Anyway, what a coincidence? I checked…

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Tanga

So ito ako ngayon, nagsusulat. Maybe it’s time for me to vent because there’s no other way I can think of para mailabas ko ‘tong nararamdaman ko. This is the only place I know. Hindi naman pwede sa Facebook or sa Twitter dahil makikita niya. Yep, weak ass over here.

Nakilala ko ‘tong taong ito noong March 27, 2015 sa isang online dating app and I’m guessing you all know what I’m talking about. We then had our first conversation but it felt like we’ve known each other for a long time already. Sobrang comfortable kami sa isa’t-isa. Walang cracked jokes na baduy. Hindi ko alam kung parehong mababaw ang kaligayahan namin but one thing is for sure, we enjoy each other’s company. Pero take note, we only talk through Viber, messenger, and via SMS. 

Yung naging foundation ng friendship namin eh yung mga kalokohan namin kapag nag-uusap kami. Kaya nga masaya ako kapag saktong malungkot ako tapos kakausapin niya ako sa text or chat. Nawawala kasi yung lungkot dahil sa pagiging funny niya. Kaya nga I would always tell him na “Ang taba talaga ng utak mo!” kasi he can come up of any joke about anything real time! Genius sa kalokohan!

We’re connected in so many ways. Pareho kami ng taste of music, we watch the same TV series, we love seafood, at marami pang iba. Matagal ko naman nang napansin na iba yung connection namin. Naramdaman ko na ring he’s worth keeping… as a friend nga lang. Kasi naman, may gusto ako dati na pinaasa lang ako. 

November 15, 2015. Yung araw na hindi ko makakalimutan. May nangyari na hindi ko inaasahan. Simula noon, parang ayaw ko na siyang kausapin. Pero pinili kong hindi gawin. Nangibabaw yung pagkakaibigan kasi nga tulad ng sinabi ko, I want to keep him as a friend. Para siyang happy pill ko. Simula noon din naramdaman kong may gusto talaga siya sa akin. Lahat na ng papuri natanggap ko sa kanya. Naramdaman ko yung eagerness niya na gawing seryoso yung sa amin. Pero tang ina, ito ako nag-inarte.

Kinain na naman ako ng takot ko. Natakot ako kasi baka saktan niya lang rin ako. Pero natakot rin ako na baka ‘di ko matapatan yung oras, effort, at pagmamahal na kaya niyang ibigay. Natatakot ako sa posibleng maging pagkukulang ko. Noong February, he sent me a photo of my name written on the sand. Naisip ko bigla, bakit hindi ko siya bigyan ng chance? No one has given me much attention like he does. Alam kong pwedeng best foot forward lang siya pero wala, siya na siguro yung pinaka-consistent na nakilala ko. Kaya nga complacent ako na kahit ang hard ko sa kanya tapos madalas ko siyang i-seen sa chat, nandun pa rin siya.

Pero yeah, nakalimutan ko people get tired pala. Bakit ko nalimutan ‘yun? Ayan, wala na siya. Halos 3 weeks kaming hindi nag-usap. I tried to reach out noong naramdaman ko na gusto ko siya talaga. Gusto ko pa nga siyang yayaing lumabas para maramdaman ko kung totoo ba o baka peer pressure lang ‘to. Palagi kasi akong sinasabihan ng mga kaibigan ko na bigyan siya ng chance. Pero huli na ang lahat. Nafeel ko na hindi na siya interesado.

Hinayaan ko hanggang sa nagnotify sa FB na one year na kaming friends doon. I sent him a photo and greeted him. Naramdaman kong ‘di na ako apektado kaya nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na kausapin siya. 4-5 days straight simula noon nagkakatext kami. Biruan. Kumustahan. Pero syempre, wala na yung dating sweetness niya. Doon pa lang ramdam ko nang wala na talaga. Pero hindi na ako umaasa. Masaya lang ako kasi after weeks of not talking, heto kami, nagkakausap na ulit.

Noong April 8, 2015, may nabitawan siyang line na pinagtaka ko. Inaasar ko kasi siyang fuccboi. Sabi niya noon pa lang nakita niya na ayoko ng seryoso kaya naglet go siya at nag move on na. At that point nagkaaminan na kami. He told me na he should’ve done it a long time ago. Naramdaman ko yung frustration niya kasi all this time, gusto ko pala siya. Sumuko siya eh ‘di niya alam na may alas pala siya. 

Kasalanan ko eh. Ang duwag duwag ko. Yung lalaking gusto ko, andyan lang eh. Pinakawalan ko pa. Now there’s this girl na gusto niya. Wala naman na akong magagawa. Masakit pala maging tanga ‘no? Ang tanga tanga ko! Yung mga messages namin sa isa’t-isa, nakakaiyak. Ganun pala yung feeling ng closure ‘no? Malinaw na lahat sa inyo pero ang sakit sakit pa rin. Malinaw na malinaw rin sa’yo yung katangahang ginawa mo. 

Maybe in time?

Ayokong umasa. Pero ito ata yung first time na naramamdaman kong gusto ko masaya siya. Ito rin yung first time kong maramdaman na sana may chance pa kami.

Anyway, alam nating imposible. Hindi ko siya hawak sa leeg at lalong hindi natin alam ang plano ng tadhana.

Kung magkrus man ang landas natin, I’d be happy to let you in. Baka mapakanta pa ako ng This Time. Lol

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Finding someone who thinks you’re interesting enough to talk to you every day, whether they’re a friend or a lover, is one of the best feelings ever.

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Ba't confused? lol

Aww I’m confused hahaha

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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You

Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage! Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “Oh, my God, so sick. Need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all. Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you. Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “Hey, babe! I like you okay. Do you wanna grab lunch? I think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!“ It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love. Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to. Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them. Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.”

- Ryan O'Connell

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Last 1/1 😂

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Oops (at Robbie's Seaside Daang Hari)

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Power eight 😂 (at Starbucks Fastbytes)