jackel-gull

[jackel-gull]

this whole “never repeat outfits” shit is not working for me. i get attached to one oversized sweater and that’s all you’ll see me in for a week

[jackel-gull]

in case you were wondering how things went down at the pokemon world championships this weekend:

-during the top 8 of the TCG masters division, chilean player fernando cifuentes was running a gimmick deck that consisted exclusively of four iron thorns ex and a whole ton of control-focused trainer cards in a strategy that either completely shuts down opponents or shits the bed entirely

-through skillful play and some good luck, fernando made it through 2 days in a tournament with over 1100 players to get to the quarterfinals

-fernando lost 2-0 to ian robb, who was running regidrago vstar (widely considered one of the best decks in the current format)

-in an overexuberant victory celebration, ian did what can only be described as a jacking-off gesture, on a stream with tens of thousands of viewers run by a company with very firm player conduct expectations

-the judges determined that this warranted a penalty of game loss, but for some reason, rather than applying it to ian’s next game in the semifinals, they applied it to the one he had just won in the top 8

-(it should be noted that the prize money for making top 8 is $15k while top 4 is $20k, so this jerking gesture cost ian robb $5,000)

-nearly an hour after fernando came to terms with his loss and the end of an impressive run, he was told that he was to get back on stream because he’s now playing in the semifinals due to winning by default

-the player he was up against in the semifinals was playing a deck (miraidon) that happens to get shut down hard by iron thorns’s gimmick, so fernando wins the semifinals

-said player, jesse parker, had notably had an undefeated run throughout the whole tournament up to this point, and likely would have continued that streak had his intended semifinal opponent not gotten a game loss penalty for miming a lewd act on stream

-meanwhile, the other semifinal winner is japan’s seinosuke shiokawa, running a deck (roaring moon) that players had largely written off as underwhelming months ago

-the grand finals are on the following day, so saturday evening was abuzz with a lot of people baffled by the absurdity of the situation

-come sunday afternoon, the grand finals are set to begin, with fernando cifuentes running iron thorns and seinosuke shiokawa running roaring moon

-it should be noted here that the roaring moon deck doesn’t rely very much on abilities, so iron thorns’s gimmick has very little effect - this is basically an even matchup

-fernando wins the first game of the set, and seinosuke wins the second

-the third and final game of the set is a bonafide cheek-clencher, with both players reaching a state where a single KO will win the game, but fernando manages to clinch it at the last minute

-and that’s the story of how a guy pretending to jork it led to the first instance of a pokemon world champion who also lost the quarterfinals

[jackel-gull]

Grimmjow: Are you ready to die?!

Ichigo: Hold on, let me ask my wife first.

Grimmjow: That isn't how this work-

Ichigo: She said no.

[jackel-gull]

Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings he’s always like “well we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said so”

[jackel-gull]

btw i was just an only child of the universe and then i found you, and then i found you. You are the sun and i am just the planets spinning around you, spinning around you. You were too good to be true, gold plated, but what’s inside you? But what’s inside you? I know this whole damn city think it needs you, but not as much as i do, as much as i do, yeah. ‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed, write our names in the wet concrete, I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me, i’m here in search of your glory, there’s been a million before me, that ultra-kind of love that you never walk away from- you’re just the last of the real ones. you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones. I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you, but only for you. My head is stripped, just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times when i think of you, when i think of you. I will shield you from the waves if they find you, i will protect you, i will protect you, just tell me, tell me, tell me i, i am the only one even if it’s not true, even if it’s not true, yeah. ‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed, write our names in the wet concrete, I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me, i’m here in search of your glory, there’s been a million before me, that ultra-kind of love that you never walk away from- you’re just the last of the real ones. you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of… I’m here at the beginning of the end, oh, the end of infinity with you, i’m here at the beginning of the end, oh, the end of infinity with you. I’m done with having dreams, the thing that i believe, oh, you drain all the fear from me. I’m done with having dreams, the thing that i believe, oh you drain the fear from me. ‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed, write our names in the wet concrete, I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me, i’m here in search of your glory, there’s been a million before me, that ultra-kind of love that you never walk away from- you’re just the last of the real ones. you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones, you’re just the last of the real ones. If you even fucking care‼️

[jackel-gull]

idk man the fact that wyll approaches a relationship like a courtship and needs to take it slow, and astarion needs to reassess his relationship to sex and take it slow, and that wyll the monster-hunter is the kind of princely hero astarion dreamt about as a kid, and that wyll calls astarion “the charming sort of cad”…i’m going insane about it!!!!

[jackel-gull]

i think it’s p awesome that the first compasses invented in china were not magnetic, but in fact mechanical - the cart with the little wooden man pointing south was built in a way that no matter which way the cart turned, the little man would always point south

[jackel-gull]

Sometimes I like to think biology and taxonomy as a field is, if anything, even more complicated in the pokemon universe than it is in ours? Like it’d be really funny if the seemingly straightforward, reliable, and intuitive systems that are explained to us in the game is just the simple version given to young people who tend to be just starting out in their relationships with pokemon while across the country you have like. Professor Sycamore giving speeches about how much oversight was required to formally accept Fairy as a valid typing and getting derailed by a pundit talking about the Flying type and he’s like “Don’t talk to me about the flying type if you so much as look at the Flying type you’ll get into about eight taxonomical arguments that have been going on longer than you’ve been alive”

next door you have people arguing for the billionth time whether or not Cleffa should be recognized as a True pre-evolution of Clefairy or if the differences in its anatomy aren’t significant enough to classify and there’s at least one school of thought that Evolution doesn’t exist and the only real pokemon are final evolutions, so neither pikachu nor pichu are their own creatures they’re just immature and/or neotenous raichu.

Somewhere else in the world you have a paleontology conference discussing the latest fossils found of the ancient pokemon basculegion and reconstruction implications only for a time traveler to slam the rear doors open like “I SAW GOD, WAS THROWN BACK IN TIME, AND BASCULEGION DID NOT LOOK LIKE THAT,”

[jackel-gull]

Okay, FUCKERS, it’s time to expose yourselves for the FILTHY SINNERS you are and put your favorite hetero ship in the tags!!

[jackel-gull]

I think cozy horror is mostly horror elements sprinkled into non-horror works honestly. Every description I’ve seen feels indistinguishable from like paranormal romance or urban fantasy.

Cozy Horror is such a fascinating term. I honestly 100% understand the desire for cozy wholesome stuff. Where my beloved mutuals might snark at the Wholesome Direct, I know in my heart that sometimes you need the video game equivalent of a hot chocolate.

But. Cozy Horror. A Cozy version of the genre that is meant to unsettle you.

Horror isn't necessarily only jumpscares and gore and violence - but it is those things because they're effective ways to unsettle and unnerve, the real core of what horror is (in my opinion).

"Cozy Horror". Man. It's just a total "what the fuck are you even talking about" sequence of words. Which is impressive, given its brevity!

[jackel-gull]

Having your own personal blog is honestly quite a nice change of pace compared to Reddit. I could put a funny GIF of George Bush getting hit by a shoe on here and the worse case scenario is that no one even notices.

You put that on a big subreddit and you get your eyes gouged out and a heap of political discourse underneath your post.

[jackel-gull]

This convinced me to finally checkout Dracula from the library

I don’t usually suspect Jonathan Harker’s employer, Peter Hawkins, of deliberately sending the kid to Transylvania to die for a client, but something about the correspondence between him and Dracula read as creepy to me this time. I am sending you a young man full of energy…

[jackel-gull]

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

[jackel-gull]

‘it’s just trendy to hate on marvel’ no. marvel has done this to themselves. they overwork underpaid and non unionized vfx artists, they don’t allow actors to have access to the full scripts, they gloat about continuity but don’t have consistency, very few of the writers care even slightly about the characters or the source material, and they have gone for quantity over quality / are overproducing their product to the point of consumer exhaust. they are a multi billion dollar creative monopoly that should be held accountable

[jackel-gull]

Boba Fett’s reputation as the best bounty hunter in the galaxy comes from him pulling off an insane number of jobs throughout his life, some of which were even deemed impossible for a lone hunter to pull off

funnily enough, he doesn’t actually remember completing all of the ones people attribute to him, but after seeing the footage and biometric proof, he assumes that he’s been blacking out and entering some sort of exhaustion fugue state, or maybe he’s just had a few too many concussions

it’s not until he tries to claim a puck from the guild and is told that he’s already working that job that he starts to figure out that something more is going on, and decides to investigate who it is that’s been working this job

as it turns out, there’s actually like ten different escaped clones pulling bounties under his name, considering they all share the same DNA and face, who’ve put together a few fake versions of his father’s armor

many of them even work in teams, trading off who gets to ‘play Boba’ to the guild or clients

(they’ve also been using their shared DNA to access his space netflix account, which explains why the recommendation algorithm never seems to figure out what he likes and keeps telling him that he’s already watched shows he finds)

(strangely, he realizes that they haven’t touched any of his bank accounts, despite the fact that they could certainly have gotten through their security measures the same way)

after discovering this, he considers confronting them, killing them, even just turning them in to the guild

but then he’d lose some of his reputation if it comes out that impersonators can mimic him well enough to get the job done just as well as he could

so he just sends them all a message telling them to not fuck this up and continues with this life

[jackel-gull]

you ever see a ship you love so much and saying "i ship them" isn't enough. like no you don't understand they give me mental illness

[jackel-gull]

scenes like these live rent free in my head (redraw of this)