jacktenenbaum

[jacktenenbaum]

hey check this out. *puts him in the fucking microwave*

[jacktenenbaum]

[jacktenenbaum]

looks at you like this

[jacktenenbaum]

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

[jacktenenbaum]

[jacktenenbaum]

I love the salute emoji. Im your loyal something

[jacktenenbaum]

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

[jacktenenbaum]

[jacktenenbaum]

saying "the age of 30 is in demand" near an elf and she looks at you with abject disgust

[jacktenenbaum]

I have nothing against trans girl headcanon stuff where people are like "this character would dress and present exactly the same as they did pretransition" but its always applied to characters it absolutely would not apply to

[jacktenenbaum]

religious killer: i can hear God speaking to me, to kill the demons that live in this world with my gun of justice

atheist killer: I kill only because of my own moral code. Whether it's for money so I can survive, or self-defense against a threat, I am the one who chooses when I kill.

agnostic killer: nobody really knows why I shoot people

[jacktenenbaum]

currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

[jacktenenbaum]

when it’s time to say goodbye after having a great time with someone

[jacktenenbaum]

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

[jacktenenbaum]

sweet precious sylvanian families 🐇

[jacktenenbaum]

Why is this bot such a fucking hater on my rock climbing worm

[jacktenenbaum]