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i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

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writing a message on the bullet you're about to use to kill a billionaire who directly fucked millions of people through their health insurance makes you the coolest fucking person on earth I hope you dont get caught

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Am I getting a good grade in tumblr mutual?

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I am a friend to all cats. Yes even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

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can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

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Deceptrode! A bug/ground type that mimics Electrode to protect itself from water and flying-type predators.

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tumblr is also like this

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Found in Nashville, bought it the moment I saw it. Sorry it's not a good pic! (It is a shirt)

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SUPER SQUISHY TERRIERMON!!

Finding this fabric was such a pain, but I finally found the materials to make super soft and squishy/stretchy plush!! I thought Terriermon would be a good practice plush to try out the material, and I’ve been wanting a squishy terriermon for myself, lol!

Here is a video showcasing how stretchy he is!

I will be open to take commissions for these squishy plush, but for now I would like to only take simple designs with no more than 3 colors, and no crazy markings please! 

Commission info can be found here: https://www.deviantart.com/lordboop/journal/Updated-Commission-Info-585444093

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@todaysbird

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a...old man mug. so many questions and i want no answers.

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Story/colors by me, art by Mads G.

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Real people my dog Soup saw that terrified her, ranked by threat level.

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Ratuary Day 6: Shell

In many ways, snails benefited a lot from the human exodus and the mass radiation that swept over planet earth.  They survived holding some of the most radiation of any living creature on the planet, and unless one is mutated beyond recognition, eating a snail means almost instantaneous death.  As such snails have a pretty cheery outlook on life compared to many of their fellows and inhabit even the most dangerous climbs with ease and a chipper attitude.

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