jadeclash999

[jadeclash999]

you thought showing me the way to salvation means ill fight it. you thought showing me the sun means ill hide it. you even thought that showing me the rings of hearts would mean ill crush it.

but id be lying if i said i haven't done one of these things, and for that it hurts to know that those things have happened.

just one more chance and I'll prove it, just two more chances and I'll show it, but infinity would make me change the world

ill disappear into a sea of butterflies to prove my worth to you.

[jadeclash999]

a writer gets their awakening when real life fails to keep its promise

[jadeclash999]

was it necessary for god to give me a body to love and connect to creatures incapable of genuine love

[jadeclash999]

i didnt accept the sky because i was blindly in love, it was because the earth rejected me. but jokes on them, im flying without a care in the world!

[jadeclash999]

There is no point in having a heart when people don't want it, so I put it away for eternity. It felt off at first, feeling the hole in my chest, no one to yearn or care for, but I soon grew to be used to it. Time and time went on and it began to become less of a burden and more of a cool storage. I put all sorts of trinkets in it making me forget the fact I have no heart for people anymore.

So when the guy who asked me whether I could love him approached me I just gave him a little fuzzy chick clay companion instead.

[jadeclash999]

When you encounter a fake item, cast it into sea and make sure it never comes up again. When you encounter a fake story, dispel it into ashes.

[jadeclash999]

....

have i truly lost that was?

have i really had what i initially wanted?

i used to like this gemstone, id gaze longingly at the stores that sold them. i felt like i was a secret admirer from afar, waiting for it to reveal itself to me.

imagine my surprise when i actually do manage to find it at an unexpected place during war.

the gem i found on the ground a long time ago was so shiny, so vibrant of color.

i initially felt so happy wearing it as a ring of honor. i fidgeted with it during my study sessions and touched it as comfort otherwise.

and then the war had its own curtains fall to the ground, its sound waking me up with such force. i look at the ring in my hand after a long time.

now its lost all its color.

now the ring that was once its case of nobility dissolved into a mere gimmick, a thin ring that only has the purpose of looking stupid. i tore it off from my finger - its marking still there when it foolishly held against it - and put it away. not throw it, but put it away. because i thought maybe if i came back to it one day it would be a better time.

but how many better times exist out there anymore?

do you think im wishfully thinking?

with love it cannot be seen.

[jadeclash999]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀march 7th x my melody rentry graphic + pfps & twitter banner ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ribbon rentry mask by @ ruiwxs on pinterest

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀f2u with credits; do not claim as original work ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀reshare + like if using ♱ reshare + likes are appreciated

[jadeclash999]

Me when i draw better on my notes than an actual sketchbook

[jadeclash999]

there will be no other half

I deny the other half because there is no other half. If there was such a thing then I wouldn't be standing here well and happy, all in one piece.

The other half was found long time ago with my origins, when I was born.

I am my own yin and yang, I am my own sun and moon, my own fire and water and my own earth and air.

All of that makes me a spirit, a soul. A thread of fate bundled into a conscience that can create art and form. A form that is also a being with impact. To say I need another half insults my very being and existence. If I was created with another half in mind then why am I not bleeding right now?

[jadeclash999]

shout out to my girl jade harley!! happy birthday yip arf!

[jadeclash999]

it's jade harleys birthday did a quick doodle :D!

[jadeclash999]

and the puzzle was unfair

and the puzzle was unfair, just like the world

bits and pieces scattered around

but no matter how much hours poured

no matter how much hours delved

you wont be the top detective, only relying on other snippets in minds

[jadeclash999]

My palms right now are the representation of humanity: cold, and hurting but ever-present and unavoidable

me lmao

(not me posting it in my other blog by accident 💀)

[jadeclash999]

Pesterquest “Initial” Thoughts, Part 2

Going to be doing it differently this time, by doing it real time

Spoilers below...oooo....

Tavros

Ok, I was worried this route would focus too much on Vriska because you can't really have a Tavros route without Vriska, but given how much spotlight she's taken I was worried it would be focused on her.

Well I was wrong, we tell her off at least and instead we get a lovely insight into Tavros' living situation and us (with the help of Kanaya) renovating his house. It's nice to see him mention his other friends. I feel bad for him considering he can't really meet them. Kinda wished we did a thing where we teleported to them but oh well. Adorable ending.

Also the Prospit bad ending... Kinda sad

Aradia

Kinda anti climatic tbh

It felt short??? But I'll admit the whole rewinding part was really cool!! Not my favorite route though because it just felt too meta for my liking. Sure we kinda learnt about her hobbies but it just felt like a plot related route rather than an Aradia route. Which, I don't really like because I like routes where we at least hang out with the character more and learn more about them.

It was funny making her mad when I kept choosing "Wait, did she just say "gh0sts?" again and going to the main menu lol

Nepeta

Really enjoyed her route ngl

It's not anything special but its pretty heartwarming, kinda gives the same vibes as the kid's routes or jade's route. Honestly I might have missed the part where she ran away from home and shit

Sollux

Again, really liked this route. It gives me more insight into a character I really do not like in canon as much. Also why on earth is Kanaya better written here than her own fricking route?

Also that bulge joke...its cursed but its funny I guess

Eridan

Ok so far I like these routes and I don't hate Sollux anymore after this lol

I love how we went from his gender thing to fucking GENOCIDE even though Sollux said he doesn't even believe it. A bit lacking but I liked it. Worth seeing Shrek 2 with him despite him being an asshole.

Feferi

Ok I'm prob one of the few people who like her but I liked her route a lot!! I didn't expect a friendsim character to appear. The route was kinda short to be though...

Rip that one ending where we meditate for a long long time

Ok its time for the Alpha kids route. I was ok with the trolls one so far but I'm kinda concerned for the Alpha kids

Because well, to be fair in the comic they weren't really handled as well as the beta kids. Dirk was ok UNTIL THE EPILOGUES where we see his character regress

Jane

This one was...surprisingly ok? It's a breather from the troll routes for sure

We see a lot of stuff about Jane that isn't her whining about Jake and shit (which is surprising in this route that she never mentioned him ONCE)

Jake

This route is really long so im just gonna dump all my thoughts as I'm playing it instead:

ok ok of all people to choose to ask for help why did it had to be VRISKA?

Jake being ace??

why is jake so INFURIATINGFSARFJSDJFJ

I am now realizing that the game expects you to go to the bad endings first before the good endings

not jade telling us to stop meddling with her life (valid but girl we just stopped yall from dying?? )

she apologized nvd

ok yeah that route was...ok??? i didnt like it that much but it was nice talking to jake at least. At least jade and jake got to meet

Roxy

Ummm it was ok?? Tbh I don't have many thoughts on her

Dirk

Ok his part of the route was entertaining ngl

Then the afterward hurts me because it reminds me how much of his character got butchered in the epilogues

Maybe one day I'll gather my thoughts and write something of worth, but this is just throwing in my initial reactions

[jadeclash999]

Pesterquest "Initial" Thoughts, Part 1

What's up folks, About to give a pesterquest review of the day

Basically all I do is talk about pesterquest and my likes and dislikes of it

So in this review I'll just be going over the kids, karkat, kanaya, gamzee, vriska, equius and terezi

Oh, it has spoilers so don't read this unless you read homestuck (not that it would make sense anyway if you never read it)

Ok, its been a bit since I've seen the kid's parts and to be frank I don't care enough to go back to see them. I remember John's being a bit boring, Rose's was somewhat interesting, Dave was eh. I really like Jade's route because we actually get to see her happy in the end.

Karkat's route... I thought it was meh

Kanaya's was my least favorite because we don't really get to explore her character that much. We just...enter her room and watch her text Vriska. Rule 1 if vriska is mentioned SHE WILL EAT UP THE ENTIRE ROUTE. It's annoying but it makes sense given she's the thief of light. But still annoying because these routes are supposed to be narratives for characters, more like giving insight into their characters.

Gamzee was alright, I kinda got bored during his route

Vriska...oh boy...a lot of happened here. There was like 1043913 things happening at once. I liked the FLARP part but then we went meta, which was still interesting, then we came back. And oh boy, what came afterward was akin to a psychpathic mental breakdown and "Vriska did nothing wrong". Then we kill her lucus and she's somehow completely fine with that??? As funny as it is and given the nature of her lucus I have a feeling she might be initially ok with it but accept it.

Equius was alright too but its too short

Same for Terezi... Honestly so far these routes are hit or miss.

[jadeclash999]

Comparison

This really isn't a writing piece, more like a vent?

Honestly being in CS isn't really cool because even if you come from a family that doesn't expect you to succeed, you still get pressured by the workforce itself because of how saturated it is.

I've been jealous of two people recently and I just realized it's not a good thing to be jealous of someone that for one might not even hate you to begin with. Even if they don't give a shit about you, there's still other things in life.

Even if they really don't like me, it's not really something to stop yourself from growing.

Sometimes though I wish I was the same as I was before, before I became a teenager. I think she was fire for not being scared or anxious over every little thing.