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jadenaaa · 2 years

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Concept Reflection 8

When it comes to marriages and weddings, people will use this event as a way to display wealth and the “ celebration of love” between the couple. Since those two principles go hand in hand, some people may think the more extravagant and expensive a wedding is, the more the couple loves each other but this is not usually the case. Usually a couple who had an expensive wedding will feel obliged to stay together because they have invested so much in their “love.” This idea is difficult for those who do not have enough to have a big wedding. Typically, non-white, non-straight couples face more challenges to marriage than those who who have status; they will have to go through more steps and work more to achieve this big wedding of their dreams. Additionally, marriage is seen as a stage that defines an individual’s adulthood; if a woman is unmarried she is considered to be a “spinster” where unmarried men are bachelors. Nonetheless, both genders are expected to marry. Marriage plays a huge part in today’s society because of the notion of amatonormativity. Amatonormativity makes services like adoption, hospital visitations, immigration, healthcare, and insurance benefits harder or not available to those who are not married. This relates to the topic of coupling and uncoupling because when two people are married, they essentially merge their social networks through the notion of amatonormativity.

Technology and social media have played a big part in marriages and family relationships which can be viewed in different periods of time. Before social media and technology, people mainly married to have a family. People who married in this period mainly married through propinquity since tech communication was not widely available. In this age, technology has allowed us to communicate with people from all around the world which has affected us in many ways. It allows us to have a bigger pool of choices to choose from, especially those in thin markets. Because of this, people in today’s society are considered to be maximizers since they want to find the “perfect” person for them while people born in the period where technology wasn't so apparent are often, satisficers where they are happy with the person they have because they fulfill their needs. Maximizers are maximizers because they have this inflated concept of their soulmate and this is mainly due to social media. People use social media to connect with others by posting pictures and messages but it has created a toxic expectation of beauty, marriage, and relationships. Weddings weren’t always so extravagant and expensive, not until Princess Diana’s wedding in 1981. Weddings are heavily posted on media so if your friend has a big wedding, you would want a big wedding as well; same thing goes for relationships.

In the episode of Big Gypsy Wedding that I watched, a girl named Lully was getting married to a man at the age of 16. She has big dreams of having a grand wedding but in the episode, Lully struggles to afford her wedding dress because she lives in rural Ireland rather than in the city because of her traditional Irish Values. Because of this, she has to go through extra steps and work harder to achieve that wedding of her dreams. In the end she had to opt out for a cheaper dress for herself and bridesmaids. Her living in rural Ireland also limits her choices of men she is exposed to meaning she has less choices, but it didn’t seem to be a bad thing for her. During the whole show, Lully did all the work for the wedding where her finance, Martin was not mentioned besides the times where Lully showed her admiration for him. This relationship shows how women tend to take on more responsibility for weddings as well as their expectations to marry in order to be an accomplished woman in society.

In the episode of Bridezilla that I watched, couple Myra and Jason are getting married in 10 days, however they are having many issues that deal with miscommunication. Myra is Filipino while Jason is Jewish, so their cultural background is different which becomes an issue for the ceremony as Jason’s family is persistent with their ideas. This is hard for Myra because she has no family in the US. On top of that, their budget is tight so they tried to cut costs by hiring a friend as a wedding planner which went horribly wrong. They paid $900 to the friend and she disappeared and with a couple days before the wedding, the panic she feels intensifies. The budget constraint is similar to the rational choice aspect where Myra and Jason tried to maximize the money they had by looking for cheaper options which ended up hurting them. They also tried to cut costs by having Myra’s family make her wedding dress. When the dress came back, it didn’t fit properly and so by not hiring a professional, they ended up with more problems. Lastly, since Jason’s family was pushing their ideas on how the wedding should be like, Myra barely had a voice on what she wanted. Jason’s family included many Jewish traditions in the event schedule where Myra wanted to do a money dance where people put money on the bride to dance with her on the dance floor, but Jason’s family wanted for people to put money on a hat and not pinned on her. Myra felt she couldn’t get what she wanted and was afraid to voice her opinion because Jason’s family was helping pay for the wedding and noy Myra’s.

In the episode of Say Yes to The Dress I watched, Bride Kim is looking for a dress for her wedding with Esther, her wife. They met on tinder which was the first time Kim had ever matched with a woman. Tinder has been a big aspect of modern romance where it allows others to meet a new range of people, though for some it can be debilitating. Though in the UK, communities are more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community than other locations, the gay community is considered to be a thin market. With tinder, it makes it easier for LGBTQ+ members to find each other. At first Kim didn’t come out to her family because she was afraid of the judgment and rejection. She believed this because her family is from South Africa where Christianity is the main religion they practice; she thought she could not have a white wedding as a gay person. When she came out to her family, they were accepting and supported her so Kim made this imaginary situation in her head. Though, Kim is lucky compared to other gay couples who face rejection and hate for being their authentic self. Kim also faces insecurity when it comes to her body because she titles herself as a “fat” woman. Because of this she wants a dress that has sleeves to conceal her arms, when she finds a dress that she adores she says never thought a big girl could be dainty. Of course to Esther, Kim is more beautiful than any other woman on earth but Kim does not believe that because of societal beauty standards where women show be tall and skinny on their wedding. She even mentions how she wanted more coverage on her dress and this goes along with the idea that thinner women tend to want less coverage while bigger women want to cover up as if they had something to hide.

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jadenaaa · 2 years

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Davis-Moore Thesis

In my own world, people who care about others and work to help others would be rewarded the most. The people who voluntarily go out of their way to help someone would be awarded more than someone who helps others just because they have to. Though in my ideal world, this would get complicated because we cannot see the will of people and where it lies. In my world, passionate teachers, parents, volunteers, doctors, and caretakers would get the most dough. The people who would earn the least would be those who only act for themselves AND bring others down to reach their goal. This is not to be confused with competition or someone working on themselves or the better. I believe competition is needed in the world to incentivize people to work harder, just as long as it is not done in a malicious way to harm others; the same goes for improving oneself.

This model meritocracy would promote people working together and helping each other. It would help eliminate some inequalities by having people understand why those inequalities exist in the first place; people would want to do this because the more they help others, the more they are rewarded. Although some people would only want to help for the money, the effects will still remain the same where they help others. In the case a certain person rack up lots of money but then turns into a selfish wealthy person, through my model, they would stop making as much money as they did because they became bad.

The people in the US who support a hierarchal arranged society, are the ones at the top of the ladder. I would not say those at the bottom support the hierarchal society. The people at the top have the economical, political, and social power to not have to worry about those below. They don't have to worry because the higher class knows that lower classes will defer to them. There may be some higher class people that care about the lower class, but they may be reluctant to reach out because of the social conformity that the higher class has about the lower class. And nobody would want to give up their position in society because the position people have in society is because somewhere down the line, somebody worked hard to achieve their status and the higher up the ladder you are, the more likely you will inherit more.

Because of this, the David-Moore theory appeals to the American Values of Individualism, Achievement and success, and progress and Material comfort. It appeals to individualism because at the end of the day, people are working for themselves so they can make more income and live a good life. It appeals to achievement and success because the more you work, the more you achieve and in this country, if you are able to do better than others, chances are you will be regarded as higher and gain more wealth and power. Lastly, it appeals to progress and material comfort which is evident because those with lots of money can afford everything they want and will still have left over money, but they don't bother to help those who can't afford simple things. Whereas those at the bottom work incredibly hard, but they can't advance because there is not enough established resources to help them even though this would be less of an issue if people cared more about each other.

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jadenaaa · 2 years

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A Fergalicious Anthem

For my breaching experiment, I went to Kroger and asked someone if they could listen to me sing the national anthem, except I sang it worse than how Fergie sang it. I asked her in a serious manner so it seemed like I wasn't joking but the person I asked already seemed a bit confused. I started singing horribly and they laughed and immediately covered their mouth. I stopped when I got to "and the rocket's red glare" because it got too high and I was thoroughly embarrassed. I asked her how it was in a serious tone and she replied that it was really good - only - it was a little pitchy. Then I heard someone say "that was so bad" in the back. After she gave her opinion, I thanked her left. I noticed that the person I wasn't singing to who commented on my singing was not afraid to speak their mind because they probably knew I was kidding, but mainly because I wasn't directly singing to them so they didn't feel pressured to give a tailored response to make me feel better. If the girl were honest, she would have told me that my singing was really bad. She also used a face saving behavior by covering her mouth so that I would not see her laughing - since it is considered rude to laugh at people when they are doing something seriously. This experiment also showed how two people will experience and view a situation differently but how it is also affected by the situation the person is in shown by the person who passed and the girl who had to stand there and listen. The person who passed was probably in a mood and was not having it while the girl was in a better mood and more friendly. The girl showed how it is expected for us to be courteous to people even when things do not play out as we would imagine them to. Asking someone at a grocery store to hear you sing is already not a social norm, but singing badly makes it worse. In conclusion, the girl was only being nice because she felt she had to.

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jadenaaa · 2 years

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There's Something Different About Robbie

I believe Robbie Hawkin's behavior was mainly from nature though some environmental factors did have a play in his actions. I believe Robbie's actions were based on a mental or behavioral disorder that Robbie had in his biological matter. Robbie had trouble containing his anger ever since he was a kid according to the film; it seemed he had trouble establishing which actions were socially acceptable. If it were a matter of the environment, I believe it would have progressively gotten worse as he grew up. This was not the case; he was aggressive from a young age with his tantrums and his kindergarten incident. Robbie's behavior, though mainly biological, was fueled by environmental factors like his biological mom and dad not being together. Another thing that would have made matters worse is the thought that Ron and Candace didn't want him at home, which we know is not true. The actions they took to try and help him, in his eyes, could seem like a course of hate or resentment towards him.

At the time, Robbie's parents did what was best for him by putting him in psychiatric care. Even more, when they had to call the police to physically remove him from the house because he was a danger to their safety. No parent wants to be separated from their kid for long periods of time. At the end of the film, Candace mentioned that she constantly thinks of what she could've done different - what would have changes if the backpack altercation didn't happen, but if that backpack incident happened with me and mom I wouldn't threaten to kill her- that is too extreme. Even if the backpack incident didn't happen, Candace would still feel like she is in danger and going off the notion that Robbie's behavior was biological, nobody could do anything to change how he thinks and acts. the only thing that could have possibly altered his behavior was a diagnosis of any disorder that would explain some of his behaviors and tamp it down with medication that would treat his disorder.

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