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Firefly: The Sinking of Serenity

Short Firefly songfic- Golden Age of Sail AU.  The song is The Greyhound, by Heather Dale, and I strongly recommend checking it out.  Originally posted on Fanfiction.net.

Firefly: The Sinking of Serenity

The Greyhound's sinking in the waves, as fast the sea receives her; 

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

And Captain Bryce is on the deck, so we, her hands, may leave her;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

Curse the Reaper, cowled in black, he's laughing at your failing!

Pull that oar until it cracks, we're bound for better sailing,

Bound for better sailing...

Gritting his teeth, Simon tried to keep focused on his task, on the oar in his hands and the steady rhythm of Zoe's voice calling out when to pull.  He tried to keep his eyes down, focused on the smooth wood, on his hands pale against the ruddy oak, on his knees, the rough wool of his pants wet and clinging, on the layer of water in the bottom of the small craft, which his sister was trying to empty with a bucket, her brow furrowed and her lips pursed as the water kept flooding back in.

He tried to focus on all of that, because if he didn't, he'd be watching the proud hull of Serenity, usually buoyant and graceful, wallow in the brutal waves.  He'd be trying to pick out the detail of the captain, clinging to the wheel, struggling to steer the floundering vessel just that little bit further from his crew.  He'd be watching as the ship that had become his home and the man that had made him family threw everything they had left into a last, desperate effort to protect their people. He couldn't bear to see it, so he bit down hard on his lip, focused his eyes on his hands, and pulled with all his strength against the rough, unforgiving seas.

At Bryce's word we went aloft and fought the screaming bluster;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

We shortened sails and gripped the ropes with all that we could muster;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

Curse the Reaper, cowled in black, he's laughing at your failing!

Pull that oar until it cracks, we're bound for better sailing,

Bound for better sailing...

"Kaylee!  Get up there, now!  You don't shorten the damn sail, we'll be driven under or lose the mast!  Jayne, help her- move it, people!  Wash, get us turned or we'll go over!"  The Captain's voice was sharp as he bellowed to be heard over the howling winds, the flapping of sails, and the clanging of the alarm bell being tossed about by wind and wave.  He was pacing, grabbing bits and pieces of rope, tying things here and there- Simon didn't actually understand the purpose of most of it, but it was clearly important.  Clinging to the half-rail that projected beyond the door leading belowdeck, he tried to determine if he could cross to where the captain was without getting thrown over, and decided the answer was probably no; with the way the ship was pitching and bucking, he was lucky to have made it up the stairs without being thrown off. The ship groaned in a way that sent a shiver of fear through the doctor, and he took a firmer grip on the railing, resigned to simply hoping the captain spotted him and made his way over.  The rain pounding down mixed with the waves rising up to send a rush of water over the deck, making footing treacherous and sending a gush of cold water around his ankles.  He watched it roll down the steps with mounting alarm- if he had to guess, the pump in the hold was not going to be up to the task of flushing the water as fast as it was coming in. There was the sharp hiss and crackle of electricity, blinding light, and the raw explosion of thunder.  Simon could feel the heat on his skin, could feel every hair on his body rising on end in response, and he risked a glance up at the mast, praying they hadn't been hit.  He wasn't sure he'd be able to do anything about it if someone had been struck.  Kaylee seemed to be alright, however, crawling through the rigging with a determined sort of grace, and Jayne was not far behind her, looking none too pleased to be there. The ship pitched suddenly, plowing forward and twisting, water rushing over the bow as the ship rolled sideways, and Simon slipped, crashing against the railing before sliding beneath it, and he felt a moment of panic before he was yanked to his feet. "Not a good time for you to be out and about, Doc," the captain snapped, pushing Simon up against the railing he'd been leaning on so that he could get hold of it again.  "Little busy at the moment, got no time for keeping track of them as can't keep their feet." "I..."  Simon's attempt at justifying his presence on deck was drowned out by another roll of thunder, and he clung to the railing, pale and unsteady.  "How can I help?" he asked, when he could speak again.  He didn't think he was imagining the slight softening of the captain's expression, but he shook his head. "By staying out of the way, Doc.  You ain't a sailor, you're no use out here."  Another pitch, another flood of cold water.  "Actually...  You know how to work the pump?"  Simon nodded, and the captain gave a short jerk of his head toward the stairs.  "Then get down there, get the preacher, and start workin' it.  Won't do us no good to get clear of this mess if we're too flooded to move." "Yes, sir," Simon replied, and he was certain now that he wasn't imagining the tiny edge of a smile.  Amazing, that he could still manage that, with the seas looking to drag them down.  Clutching the rail, Simon made his way below, doing his best not to fall and break something.  He needed to be whole to be able to help. "Any word, Doctor?" Inara asked as he stumbled into the galley.  She was sitting on one of the anchored benches, holding tight, with River clinging to her wide-eyed.  Somehow, she still managed to convey an air of beauty and calm, though she couldn't completely mask her fear. "They're doing everything they can," Simon replied, attempting to sound reassuring.  It was difficult, with water rolling around his ankles on its way from the deck to the hold.  "Do you know where Shepherd Book is?  We're to man the pump." "Can't," River said, clutching tighter to Inara as the ship shuddered around them.  "Can't pump the whole sea!  Swallowed, Maelstrom eats the world, nowhere to go but down and down and-" "Shh, River, hush, please!" Simon interrupted, knocking his knees against the bench as he moved to reassure her.  "It's going to be fine, everything is going to be alright.  Serenity's a sound ship, she's not going to sink." "You're wrong," River replied, tears in her eyes.  "Whole world, circling 'round, down and down..."  She trailed off, burying her face in Inara's shoulder, and Simon met Inara's eyes, shrugging helplessly.  He could see the fear there, redoubled for River's pronouncement of doom, but she gestured for him to go. "The Shepherd's in his quarters," she said, voice steady.  "Go, I'll take care of her.  The ship needs you more right now."  Simon hesitated for just a moment, the guilt of divided loyalties tugging strongly, but the ship pitched once more, and decided him. "Thank you," he said, and he made his way slowly to the crew quarters.  "Shepherd Book?" The Shepherd looked up from the Bible he was more clutching than reading, and attempted to put a reassuring smile on.  Simon recognized the effort it took; he was quite practiced in it himself. "You don't look like you're here to pray, son," Book offered, and Simon shook his head. "The captain wants us to work the pump," he said, and Book tucked his Bible away and stood, following him down into the dark of the hold.

The Greyhound fought to stay aright, as cruel, the wild waves tossed her;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

But when the mast began to crack, we knew that we had lost her;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

Curse the Reaper, cowled in black, he's laughing at your failing!

Pull that oar until it cracks, we're bound for better sailing,

Bound for better sailing...

Serenity was fighting hard, there was no doubt about that.  The ship rolled and bucked like a wild thing, fighting the seas.  Simon was shivering with cold, but it didn't keep the sweat from rolling down his brow as he worked the pump alongside the preacher, fighting the water that flooded in with every hellish wave.  He didn't know how long they'd been at it when Book stopped, and grabbed his arm.  The water, which had been only at his mid-calf when they'd started, was now eddying around his waist- he'd been oblivious to the steady rise while he'd been working, but it was alarming once he noticed it. "Might be wanting to let the captain know how much water we've taken on," Book suggested, sounding far too solemn for Simon's peace of mind.  He never had understood how Book knew much of what he did, but he'd learned to pay attention immediately if the preacher started to sound worried.  Simon nodded, and slogged through the water for the stairs, fighting the movement of the ship as he climbed.  He moved quickly past Inara and River, not wanting to have to try and reassure them when his own fears were growing deeper.  From the quiet gasp Inara gave as he passed, she gathered enough from the state of his clothes to understand the situation. He'd only just made it to the deck when Serenity lost the fight.  One of the ropes gave, and the top sail billowed, catching the wind.  Zoe shouted a warning, and Kaylee was halfway into the rigging within a moment, but not quickly enough.  There was a terrible crack, as sharp and chilling as the report of a pistol, and for a moment, it seemed that even the winds silenced as they contemplated the meaning of it.  Simon's gaze went straight to the captain, seeking understanding- a look of absolute calm dropped into place on Mal's stubborn features in the same moment that Kaylee gave a pained scream of denial.  Serenity shuddered, and the deck bucked- and buckled.  The mast swayed wildly in a bizarre counter-point to the movement of the ship, and Jayne lunged for the netting, starting up after Kaylee. "Gorramit, girl, git down here!" the burly mercenary bellowed, struggling to keep his balance.  "It's done, it's over!" "No!"  Kaylee scrambled further up, and a moment later the top sail vanished, swept off completely by the wind once she'd slashed the ropes, but Simon could tell from the unearthly calm that had overtaken the captain that Jayne was correct.  The fight was over- Serenity was lost. "Zoe."  The captain's voice was steady, steady enough that it was frightening in itself.  "Prep the boat.  Pack all the rations you can fit." "...Yes, sir."  Zoe was stone-faced, but her hesitation was enough to let Simon know he was missing something crucial. "Doc- go below.  Get everyone up here, now.  Take what medical supplies you can, but leave everything else." "Captain-" "Now's not the time, Doc.  Do as you're bid.  Hurry."  Mal's gaze was still calm, but there was a note of apology that Simon didn't like at all. "Fine," he said, reluctant, and he fought his way back down the stairs.  Shepherd Book had made his way into the galley, and was standing, dripping, next to Inara and River, who both turned dark-eyed stares on him- Inara's, imploring; River's knowing. "All hands, abandon ship," River said sadly, and Simon swallowed, and nodded.  Inara's composure shattered, and she was on her feet in a swirl of vibrant, if damp, silk, pushing past him to fight her way up the stairs, a haunted sort of fire in her eyes and her lips set in a determined line.  Book gave a slow, unsteady sigh, and tucked his Bible back into his shirt. "Best be heading topside, then...  See what I can do to help."  He followed Inara up the stairs, his steps heavy.  For the first time since Simon had met him, he seemed... old. "Don't like it," River said, watching Simon, grief in the lines of her face.  "Swept into the black...  Too heavy.  No air!" "We're going to be alright, River.  I promise, we're going to be okay.  Zoe's getting the dinghy ready, we'll go, use it to get to shore, and the captain will find another ship."  He hated the way the words sounded, hated the thought of the ship that was more his home than the estate had ever been crushed beneath the waves, but what could they do? "No, he won't," River replied, frowning at him, as though he were being particularly dense.  "No other ship for him, no other home." "I know it seems that way-" "No!  No other!"  She gave a short near-sob, and bolted, seeming to have no trouble with the stairs, despite the way the ship was starting to list, despite the still-constant jostling of the waves.  Simon sighed; he'd have to calm her down before they could leave, or who knew how much trouble she'd cause?  He could only hope someone would keep her steady while he gathered what he could of their medical supplies- he didn't have time to run after her, no matter the rush of fear knowing she was on deck in such a scene caused. Ransacking the infirmary that he'd so carefully built up and maintained was painful, but he didn't let himself think, simply filling his bag with the small, neatly labeled brown vials, slender needles, and everything else he could fit.  When his bag was full to bursting, he struggled back out, not at all pleased to note that Serenity seemed to be sitting at a distinct angle. He climbed the stairs one last time, and emerged onto the deck carefully.  Zoe pulled the bag out of his hand, handing it to Wash to pack into the small longboat.  She was making sure he didn't lose his balance, her footing sure and steady despite everything.  Kaylee was sitting nearby, clinging to River and sobbing, sounding more heartbroken than Simon thought even a ship as worthy as Serenity should earn.  River wasn't crying, simply staring mournfully at the captain.  Jayne and Book were moving another crate to the boat, and Inara...  Inara was shouting, gesticulating wildly, no trace of her usual serene demeanor anywhere to be found.  Mal was standing, unreasoning calm on his face, listening to her rave with apologies in his eyes. "You don't have to do this!" Inara shouted, clutching his shirt in both hands. "Yes, I do," Mal replied, voice gentle, but firm as steel.  "No other way, Inara.  You know that." "Please, Mal!  Serenity isn't going to move as you will her to, not this time!  You'd do better for us at an oar, we'll get more distance-" "No, Inara." "What's going on?" Simon asked, his stomach clenching violently, the cold suddenly seeming far sharper. "Our noble, idiot captain is insisting he has to stay and steer the ship away from the boat!" Inara replied, a flash of hope entering her gaze- she obviously thought she had an ally in him, that he stood a chance of convincing the captain of what she couldn't.  "It's ridiculous, he can't possibly do more good here-" "That ain't for you to say, gorramit, and I'm tellin' you, it's necessary."  The note of steel eclipsed the gentle edge in Mal's voice, and Simon stared at him, staggered. "You can't mean...  You don't mean to go down with the ship?"  He couldn't believe it, it was...  The captain wasn't the sort to just give up.  Certainly, losing the ship would be a blow, it would be for all of them, but to be willing to just... sink with her, into the depths, it was madness. "Someone needs to stay with her, steer her away from the boat," Mal stated, shrugging one shoulder as though it were not his very life they were discussing.  "Someone don't, she'll pull the boat down with her, and everyone dies." "You can't be sure of that, you-" "Captain's right."  The hard voice belonged to Zoe.  "You never seen a ship go down, maybe you don't understand.  She goes down, she pulls.  We ain't far enough out, we go down too."  Mal looked about ready to thank her, but she continued on.  "Don't mean it has to be you, sir." "She's my ship, and you're my crew.  It's my place." "We could draw lots."  The suggestion, surprisingly, came from Jayne.  "Make it a fair chance." "Ain't no one else dying for my ship!" Mal snapped.  "End of discussion.  Now get on the gorram boat, and get rowing- don't have an overabundance of time, if'n you all hadn't noticed!"  As though to make his point, Serenity groaned and tipped further, the boat shifting slightly along her decks.  The mast swayed, the long arm of a boom swinging wildly. "This is lunacy," Inara said, and only the redness of her eyes gave away that the water streaming down her cheeks wasn't all rain.  Picking up her skirts, she swept to the boat, seating herself with her back pointedly facing the captain.  There was a moment of awkward speechlessness, the shrieking wind the only voice, and then Book stepped forward. "It's been an honor, Captain," Shepherd Book said, extending a hand to Mal.  The captain clasped his hand with a wordless nod, and Book took a seat next to an oar. Jayne couldn't seem to find any words, reaching out and grabbing Mal's shoulder; Mal mirrored the gesture, and Jayne nodded and moved to sit opposite the preacher.  Simon thought the bulky man's shoulders might be shaking, but it was possible he was just cold. Kaylee was next, disentangling herself from River and throwing herself at the captain, wrapping him in a desperate hug, sobbing openly into his shirt.  Mal wrapped his arms around her, and whispered something that Simon didn't catch- Kaylee sobbed harder, but let go and all but ran to the boat.  River stood and picked her way over, still seemingly unbothered by the moving of the deck, and gave Mal a direct look. "Nothing's gone forever," she said, and he reached out, taking her hand solemnly.  She didn't exactly smile, but it was close.  "Miss you.  Gave us more than shelter...  Gave us family.  We'll remember." "That you should, little River," Mal said softly, a not-quite-smile on his own face, and he gently shooed her off.  She went, sitting down at the very front of the boat, facing Inara. Wash reached out, pulling the captain into an embrace, pounding him on the back twice. "You take care of Zoe, you hear?" Mal said, returning the gesture. "You know I will.  Goodbye, Mal."  Wash stepped back, and Zoe stepped forward, shooting Simon a glare, as though she were frustrated that he hadn't stepped forward first. "Sir," she said simply, and Mal nodded.  "Won't be the same without you, sir." "Keep them as safe as you can, Zoe.  It's been my honor to know you." "I'll do my best, sir."  She nodded, once, and turned away, making her way with Wash to the boat.  Simon thought it mildly ironic that he was the last to offer his goodbye- he supposed it was somewhat fitting that the last to join Mal's crew would also be the last to leave it. "Best be getting along, Doc, like I said...  Ain't much time," Mal said. "River's right, you know.  You gave us family.  I...  We lost that, and you gave it back.  We owe you more than I can say for that." "Didn't lose it, Doc...  If you had, you wouldn'ta done what you did for her.  I just reminded you that you didn't have to do it all alone.  Zoe will do her best by you, so will Wash.  Stay with them; they'll keep you safe." "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Simon replied, extending a hand tentatively.  "Thank you, Mal." "It was my pleasure, Simon," Mal replied, clasping his hand.  "Now go on, see to your sister." Simon nodded, and turned away, barely making it to the boat before the ship lurched again, and he had to scramble to seat himself as the boat began to drift into the water.  It didn't need to be lowered- Serenity was listing far enough that they slipped smoothly away.

So put your back into it lads, and haul against the thunder;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

And cry a prayer into the the winds the ship won't pull us under;

Curse the Reaper, bend your back, and cheat your sorry grave!

Curse the Reaper, cowled in black, he's laughing at your failing!

Pull that oar until it cracks, we're bound for better sailing...

"Pull!  Pull!  Pull!"  Zoe counted out the strokes smoothly, but there was a note of urgency to her tone that worked better than all the hysterics in the world could have hoped to.  Simon pulled, eyes firmly on his oar. "Keep bailing, River," Inara urged, working with her own bucket, trying to keep them from being overcome by the waves.  River did as she was bid, moving bucket after bucket of water.  The oar was heavy in Simon's hold, the wood rough- he could feel his hands, already blistered from the pump, tearing and starting to bleed.  He was oddly grateful for the pain; it was one more layer of distraction. "Pull!  Pull!  Pull!  Come on, we need more distance than this!"  Zoe was rowing as hard as the rest of them, throwing herself into it.  Simon wondered if she, too, was trying to outrun her grief. "Put your backs into it," Jayne growled, his oar moving through the water with an audible snap on every beat.  No one had the breath to respond, focused on the task at hand. Simon looked up, looked back, and saw Serenity's sail flying full and low.  The mast was all but fallen, but Serenity was pushing forward, away from them, giving a last desperate effort for her captain.  Simon blinked, tears stinging his eyes.  The waves were wild, lifting the small boat and jolting it mercilessly and slamming them about, his hands were bleeding, and his lungs were burning with effort, and still, the grief was worse. A wave, larger than the rest, rose up, and Serenity was lifted, showing in sharp relief against the sky for a long moment.  Then she dropped over the other side, and it was all they could do to keep their own boat from capsizing as the wave swept them up.  When they finally crested it, Simon looked back. The wild sea behind them was empty.

Curse the Reaper, cowled in black, he's laughing at your failing!

Pull that oar until it cracks, we're bound for better sailing,

Bound for better sailing...