jaffre
jaffre
🔮 Beholder Supremacy ✨
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30 | agender | they / he Icon by Anaïs Mirliaz Header by sirwoop Background by David Martin
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jaffre · 9 hours ago
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started listening to taz royale after havent listened to taz for a few seasons now, and i really enjoy it so far! wizard battle royale
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jaffre · 23 hours ago
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Ough argh aiyee Oohh (that's me missing my husband)
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jaffre · 23 hours ago
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comment. comment je traduis "fuck it we ball"? besoin d'idées
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jaffre · 23 hours ago
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Otter pup
Photographed by Eric Sambol
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jaffre · 23 hours ago
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Most annoying thing to remember is that you're litterally just a homosapien. You're just a very smart animal. If you feel like shit, imagine you're an exotic pet for some alien species and do what they'd do to keep you healthy. You gotta be well cared for. Animal abuse is a crime for a reason
"My pet human, Greg, hasn't left his bed in a long time. He's just scrolling his phone all day" Greg needs enrichment. Add enrichment in his enclosure and take him on walks
"Greg has been super lethargic and sad recently for seemingly no reason" Greg need vitamins, take him outside for some vitamin D and fresh air. Perhaps a picnic
"Greg won't sleep even though he's been super lethargic" Greg needs a schedule, especially for the lights in his enclosure.
"Greg has been super distant recently and keeps crying to sad music" Humans are pack animals, he needs to hug another human and hang out. Perhaps pack bond with a rock together
"Greg has been flailing around and panicking, his breathing is way faster than it should be" Greg is overwhelmed. Take Greg out of the situation and give him time to calm down. Perhaps somewhere cozy with tea and a movie
"Greg won't do what he needs to do" Train him. Humans do great with positive reinforcement, give him little treats when he's doing good
"Greg he's been super anxious and tired, he can't seem to enjoy his days" Humans needs to move around. Give Greg something to exercise with. Things like stretching, weight lifting, walking, or even dancing will help
"Even though I've taken really good care of Greg, he still has been having issues" Greg is ill, take him to the doctor. You might need a specialist (therapist, optometrist, oncologist, etc)
I know it feels patronizing, and I know it feels embarrassing or that you're "just giving into the clichés", but you are literally just a creature. You need to sleep/eat on time, you need enrichment, and you need to take care of your social needs. Humans are complicated animals, but they are also beautiful and all deserve proper care. This obviously isn't a perfect analogy, nothing is, but if you saw your friend taking care of their pet the way you take care of yourself, would you be concerned?
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jaffre · 23 hours ago
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Thinking about kidnapped Dwarfs in Dwarf Fortress again.
Goblins can kidnap dwarvern children. It's not known why they do this, but they can.
What's stranger is that the goblins don't do anything nefarious with the children. They just appear to raise them.
Common theories range from amusing (they're saving the children from the horrors of Dwarf Fortresses) to reasonable (dwarfs are bigger and stronger than goblins on average, they can be used as metalssmiths or warriors)
What's probably most striking from the player's perspective is that adult dwarves that have been raised by goblin civilizations can join their raids and sieges of your fort.
Nothing appears to be forcing them to do this.
Imagine growing up with goblins, learning the goblin language, worshipping their gods and observing their customs.
You know you're different, the other children make that clear enough, but your belly is full in the summers and just as empty as anyone else's in the cold.
When you grow, you're a full two heads taller than anyone else. They try to put you to work in the forge, they think you should be good at it, you dont understand why. You're not. Your fingers fumble over the steel, you drop the tongs, you burn yourself on the flames.
You've let your family down, you're ashamed.
They put an axe in your hand, you start felling trees. It's easy for you. They send little hauling squads with you to collect the lumber, you free up half a dozen workers. Your family is proud of you, you're proud of yourself.
A set of armour is smithed for you, you don't need to put your name on it, no one else could wear it.
Suddenly, you're drilling, but it's no problem, people salute you in the hallways, you get choice rations with the other warriors. You're respected. It took you some time, but you've found a place in your home.
You keep shaving your beard out of habit.
Now your squad hauls back jewels, instruments, and armour that even you couldn't fit into.
One day you hit a hole in the ground. Defended by walls and traps your brethren fall to hidden blades and arrows. By the time you breach the dining hall, you've taken serious casualties.
In front of you is a hall of shrouded mirrors, they don't recognize you in your full helm, you don't even know what they are.
Your mother doesn't even recognize you as she cleaves your head in half.
You're laid to rest in the refuse pile, outside the fort with your brothers.
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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ranting about videos game
some of schaf's take on mkw kinda fucked imo. i agree the unlock system coulda been better but saying that its bad cause you have to spend days grinding the races to unlock all the enemy characters is so fucking rotten. like... the fun of the game is slowly unlocking them as you play...? why you want to unlock everything straight outta the gate? i dont understand this mindset at all
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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just dropped lu at the airport (screaming crying throwing etc)
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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Bill Braun creates paintings that look like construction paper!
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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I can be your monkey. And this can be our circus
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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My Pokemon head canon is that if you were holding an Aron and she wanted to go down she would do the little cat thing where they wiggle until they leap out of your arms gracefully except Aron is made mostly out of solid steel and would land with the impact tungsten cube, dent the floor, cause permanent structural damage to the foundation, and then stand up and happily trot along like she didn't do anything
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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Hey, guys? Make peace with yellow teeth. I'm so serious right now.
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jaffre · 1 day ago
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we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there
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