jakestanky

[jakestanky]

You’re telling me a crinkle cut these fries?!

[jakestanky]

You two looking for jesus? Hes not here but satans in the basement and we’re smoking weed.

[jakestanky]

A Twerking tutorial but its made like a 1940s informative automobile video. “Now the subject uses there hips, hips the bone connecting the upper half of your body to your lower half, to thrust the rear end up and down while using slight bending of the knees for maximum efficiency.”

[jakestanky]

Any time i see someone kissing in public i yell “slip them some teeth!” Then they’ll be more awkward that before.

[jakestanky]

My mother try’s to take me, a mere mortal, to the Costco every week and I was quite lucky to survive this quest for socks this time.

[jakestanky]

Im starting to see more goth irish girls on my tik tok…something is happening…an uprising

[jakestanky]

Im sorry to break it to you but following the crash your son is paralyzed from his knee to his elbows. He can feel below his knees and above about his elbows but not above his knees and below his elbows.

[jakestanky]

You’ll have to excuse me i have chronic ass swamp.

[jakestanky]

How many stumps could a stump grinder grind if a stump grinder could grind stumps.

[jakestanky]

Welcome to the interactive museum of panic attacks.

[jakestanky]

A motorcycle the same height as a horse it cant go wrong.

[jakestanky]

The horse to glue stick ratio that i see does not add up.

[jakestanky]

You had me at goth.