jar-of-maise - Tumblr blog

[jar-of-maise]

aventurine enthusiasts how are we feeling after 2.1

(I'm wrecked)

[jar-of-maise]

oddly obsessed with them rn ngl

[jar-of-maise]

babe what's keeping you up?

oh nothing just the thought of how the bodyguard/princess (royalty) au was MADE for bronya and seele.

WRITE A FANFIC WRITE A FANFIC WRITE A FANFIC

[jar-of-maise]

hiya guysss remember the detective firefly story? yah this is about that, so to help me decide, im back with another poll bc democracy - fyi i will still post it on tumblr, this is just to vote on other platforms, naturally you can also vote to make it tumblr exclusive lololol

[jar-of-maise]

The Detective Adventurer: The Firefly Case

guys im writing the detective and wriothesley story come and get your food

There are many things that you plan on doing. From travelling all over Fontaine to eating pastries in a cute cafe, to solving cases, one could very safely assume that your bucket list is filled. Well it is, but you don’t complain, after all, working as an Adventurer of the Guild and a Detective makes for a very exciting life. 

That is until you land in prison. Suppose you can check off “visited the Fortress of Meropide” on your bucket list now. Now a criminal, your newest case has officially begun. Within the month you are sentenced to imprisonment, you must find and dismantle the organisation that ruined your client’s life. Not to mention going to work on time, and avoiding the very keen eyes of a certain Duke. 

Between explosions and implosions, and that stupid Administrator. Will you be able to navigate the danger and return to Fontaine safely? Or will you become buried under the waters? There’s only one way to find out.

[jar-of-maise]

guys, this is a need:

a really slowburn fic of furina's healing arc, how she returns to humanity, the repercussions of her centuries long acting and her slow reintergration into normal life

[jar-of-maise]

this is in no way original but neuvillette and folcalors are so (lana del rey) summertime sadness coded guys please i really can't

"goodbye, neuvillette, i hope you've enjoyed the part you've played for these 500 years"

"surely you know that as i am now, i could never again declare them guilty"

"I think ill miss you forever, like the stars miss the sun, in the morning sky"

nothing just sobbing over them and their undying love for fontaine

[jar-of-maise]

fontaine archon quest, furina story quest spoilers + brainrot

so after doing the 4.2 quest, i have to say that i really dislike the characterisation of the Traveller and Paimon. Obviously, there's a emotional appeal for the audience to see Furina's suffering but I don't like how we basically manipulate her, decieve her and then harass her straight after the main plot? Like girly says she doesn't want to return to acting and what do our beloved MC's do? Harass her until she agrees.

coming from a story writer's perspective, i can see how the story was done to further...idk character development but to be completely honest, i would have loved it if Furina died in the end, or even disliked the Traveller. Eitherway, I think that the reconciliation arc was so abrupt and quick for my liking. Of course, the question could always become, "if not now then when?" And my answer to that is, realistic forgiveness and closure is rarely present in real life. Yes, the game is fantasy and does not have to conform to reality but I can't help thinking that some depth has been missed/could've been added.

Furina doesn't get enough credit for her work - and maybe the tragedy and point of the quest was to highlight that. But like, I have to say the way everyone treated her during her trial (okay, I know, no one knew anything about shit at the time just let me rant), and worse, after the conclusion of the archon quest had me raging ngl.

Can you imagine playing this tortuous role for basically 500 years, staking your every hope upon a plan plotted by a "mirror you" you've only met once and never again? Not to mention that it might be all for naught?

And then the people you are trying to save isolateand ostracize you? You're tricked and fooled until the very "hope" you wish to maintain (the act) is basically destroyed? And when you've begun to finally find respite, you're forced back onto the stage and made fun of, called poor and mocked for ... not having a personality because you've been playing as someone else? Like, Traveller has their therapy, "makes character's better" moments but this was not one of them.

At the same time though, it makes the Traveller more realistic, which I can appreciate. They want answers, and the continuous theme of, "Archons not knowing jackshit or running away" is tiring. But like, you would have also thought that it could be a point of sympathy not just, making someone suffer????

Hello???

But Traveller and Paimon's extremely irritating actions aside, I can see it from everyone else's POV - that is, Fontaine is literally about to go under, and that for 500+ years the "god" they worship has been saying, "trust me," but hasn't done (in the eyes of the people) anything.

so idk, the archon quest makes me feel very conflicted, and honestly good for hoyoverse. but man, furina was quite literally dealt one of the worst cards to date.

TLDR; i rant about furina and how she deserved better but that tbf i would also be very confused if all i knew was a bratty archon doing nothing (seemingly) for the nation but....also, the injustice and unfair treatment furina got AFTER the archon quest - i could write a full essay about her character deadass x_x

[jar-of-maise]

heyyy guys i have some story ideasss

wriothesley x reader howls moving castle au (ngl the wriolette potential is strong in this one OHO)

wriothesley x reader period au - royalty, dark academia, medieval yk

wriothesley x smart, reader who gets sent to the fortress to investigate him and shenanigans ensue

the question is, what to write first

EDIT: OKAY SO special thank you to @notgodbutme FOR ENLIGHTENING ME ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF POLLS HEAD OVER AND VOTE IN THE DEMOCRACY THEY'VE GIVEN YOU

[jar-of-maise]

wriothesley's story quest really be making us wanting him to manhandle us huh

[jar-of-maise]

so how are we feeling after jingliu's quest? i'll go first, i play honkai star rail because i'm depressed and now i'm doubly so.

[jar-of-maise]

GUYS NEW HIGH-CLOUD QUINTET LORE IS ABOUT TO DROP ON OUR HEADS IN 1.4 HSR ARE YOU READY

[jar-of-maise]

incorrect quotes with my favourite gang prt II!

starring my favs, if you're new that is wriothesley (rice lee), neuvillette (can't spell his name right) and clorinde (clorine?)

...

Wriothesley: What’s your name? Neuvillette, whispering to Clorinde: Can I tell him my real name? Clorinde: No! Neuvillette: I’m… Clorinde. Clorinde, whispering to herself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right…

...

Neuvillette, about Wriothesley: He's speaking some kind of French. Clorinde: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

...

Wriothesley is telling a story Neuvillette: Wow, Wriothesley, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Clorinde: Romance? Neuvillette: I have a crush on him.

...

Wriothesley: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Neuvillette: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Neuvillette: Would you like me to tutor you? Clorinde: That was smooth.

...

Clorinde: Please pray for Wriothesley. Neuvillette: What happened to him? Clorinde: Nothing, he's just very stupid.

...

Wriothesley : Neuvillette and I got married!! Clorinde : Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

...

Wriothesley : I really like Eminem. Neuvillette : I prefer skittles. Clorinde : He's talking about the rapper. Neuvillette : Why would he eat the wrapper?

...

Wriothesley : Wow! Clorinde made you cry? Neuvillette , tearing up: Yes, and she said some really mean things that are only partly true.

...

Wriothesley : Someone take me to art museums and make out with me. Neuvillette : But they said not to touch the masterpieces. Wriothesley : Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall. Clorinde , on a walkie talkie: This is Clorinde , those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

...

Clorinde , bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Wriothesley , not looking up from their book: Really? Neuvillette , why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

...

Clorinde : Neuvillette isn’t answering my messages. Wriothesley : Allow me. Clorinde : I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Neuvillette : *replying to message* Hello.

...

Wriothesley : Oh my Neuvillette . Clorinde : Don't you mean 'oh my god'? Wriothesley : You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

...

Clorinde , watching Wriothesley and Neuvillette from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

...

Neuvillette : Why would you give a knife to Wriothesley ?! Clorinde , shrugging: Wriothesley felt unsafe. Neuvillette : Now I feel unsafe! Clorinde : I’m sorry… Clorinde : Would you like a knife?

...

Wriothesley : sapnu puaS. Clorinde :   Neuvillette : What language is that. Clorinde: Don't you dare Wriothesley : Turn your phone 180 degrees. *Wriothesley was removed from the groupchat*

...

Clorinde : Who do we know that has handcuffs? Neuvillette : Well Wriothesley and I- Wriothesley : *elbows Neuvillette * Neuvillette : ...wouldn't know.

...

Wriothesley : I asked Neuvillette out. Clorinde : Oh, I’m sorry. Wriothesley : Why? Clorinde : Well, I assume he said no. Wriothesley : No, he said yes. Clorinde : Really? Then I’m sorry for him.

...

Neuvillette : So, what’s Wriothesley 's type? Clorinde : blue eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, otter and Melusine lover. Neuvillette : Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends. Clorinde : Did I mention oblivious? Neuvillette : Yeah, why? Clorinde : Okay, just making sure.

...

Clorinde: I like your top, Neuvillette! Wriothesley : I have a name, you know. Clorinde : *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

...

Clorinde : Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. Neuvillette : You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Wriothesley . Clorinde , pointing her hot glue gun towards Neuvillette : You’re on thin fucking ice.

...

Neuvillette , looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top? Clorinde : Wriothesley 's in the kitchen.

...

Wriothesley : Thank you all for coming. Clorinde , wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Wriothesley : Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Wriothesley Task Force". Neuvillette : Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

...

Wriothesley : Are we fighting or flirting? Clorinde : I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Wriothesley : Your point? Neuvillette: Please get out of my office

...

Wriothesley : Stay foxy. Clorinde : Die lonely. Neuvillette:

...

Wriothesley : I like your new pants! Clorinde : Thanks, they were 50% off! Wriothesley : I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Clorinde : The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Wriothesley : Thats’s… not what I meant. Clorinde : That’s a terrible way to run a business, Wriothesley . Neuvillette, he's clueless: I thought Wriothesley was a pretty good business man Clorinde, who is not clueless: Well he's pretty shitty, actually

...

Neuvillette: I feel like doing something stupid. Wriothesley: I’m stupid, do me. Clorinde: Please get a room.

[jar-of-maise]

[upcoming story!] in which there are slight predicaments, miscalculations and a story to be told

neuvillette considers himself a man of steadfast walking pace, and steady disposition. where his emotions fail to sympathise with that of ordinary humans, he can remain calm and does not succumb to pressure, this is very helpful indeed, when dealing with the turmoil of the court.

the waves roll in and out, this is the tide. each person faces different waves, obstacles to overcome in their lives. for centuries, neuvillette's "tide" has flowed much the same as ever, the predictability is not unwelcome, it is a good routine.

that is until clorinde (curse her silly, musketeer hat), slams open the door.

"ah, dear clorinde, the door," a dismayed voice rings out from behind her. what follows next is the most heart-stopping, breath-wheedling sight. at long last, the sea of neuvillette's life have begun to form waves.

wriothesley, oh dear that's one of the thousand earthquakes under a sea isn't it? he's shrewd, sharp, blunt, honest...and has the most archon-damned, dragon-forsaken muscles.

suddenly, to keep up with the pace of this interruption, neuvillette finds himself not walking, but running, sometimes jogging or even crawling. that steady man of extraordinary calmness? gone with the waves.

and worst of all, the man himself wriothesley, doesn't seem to realise anything at all.

at least these...new feelings will remain hidden.

for now, neuvillette will learn to swim in these "new seas" and overcome his feelings, no clorinde he doesn't need help and this is certainly not love. he just needs, time, yes, time to get over wriothesley's smarts, honesty, voice, hands, and archons be damned those muscles-

*ahem*

perhaps he should still thank clorinde for barging in that day, the chance to see a shirt-less wriothesley training is, a truly magnificent sight to behold after all.

"thank you clorinde, i retract those curses, your hat still looks funny though"

[jar-of-maise]

friendly reminder to go out, flirt and engage with your crush otherwise...

Clorinde: That shirt looks great, Neuvillette. Neuvillette: Thanks. Clorinde: But I bet it would look even better on Wriothesley's floor. Wriothesley: Are you hitting on Neuvillette... for me?

[jar-of-maise]

incorrect quotes with my new fav trio

starring wriothesley, clorinde and neuvillette bc i said so

Wriothesley: What do you think Neuvillette will do for a distraction? Clorinde: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Clorinde: ... or he could do that.

...

Wriothesley: How's the sexiest person here~? Neuvillette: I don't know, how are they~? Wriothesley: I- Clorinde, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

...

Clorinde: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wriothesley? Wriothesley: … No. Neuvillette: I do! Clorinde: I know, Neuvillette. Neuvillette: I’m sad! Wriothesley: We know, Neuvillette

...

Neuvillette, to Wriothesley and Clorinde: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Wriothesley: ... Clorinde: ... Wriothesley: That is such an open-ended question. Clorinde: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

...

Wriothesley: We need a diversion. I say Neuvillette gets naked. Neuvillette: No. Clorinde: Who are we trying to distract again?

...

Clorinde, at Neuvillette: Would you like to stay for dinner? Wriothesley, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

...

Clorinde: Ooh, somebody has a crush Wriothesley: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Neuvillette I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. *Later that night* Wriothesley, very much awake: Uh oh.

...

Neuvillette: There's no way they like me back. Clorinde: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for you. Neuvillette: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

...

Neuvillette: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Clorinde: Clorinde: I'm gonna tell them. Wriothesley: Don't you dare.

...

Wriothesley: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Clorinde: What’s up your ass this morning! Neuvillette: *walks in* ...Hey. Clorinde: Hmm… nevermind. Wriothesley: WAIT NO!

...

Wriothesley: Do you cook? Neuvillette: I made a cake once. Clorinde: Yeah, it was good. Neuvillette: Really? Clorinde: Don’t make me lie twice, Neuvillette.

...

Neuvillette: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Clorinde: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Wriothesley: Ya know... it might be.

...

Clorinde: Did Wriothesley just tell me he loved me for the first time? Neuvillette: Yeah, he did. Clorinde: And did I just do finger guns back? Neuvillette: Yeah, you did.

...

Wriothesley: Where are my fucking keys? Clorinde: Wriothesley, Neuvillette is around, can you say it a little nicer? Wriothesley: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

...

*Neuvillette dies in a game with ships* Wriothesley: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Wriothesley: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Clorinde: Legend has it that Neuvillette still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Neuvillette: Of course I do.

...

Wriothesley: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Neuvillette: Excuse me [insert name]. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Clorinde: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

...

Clorinde: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wriothesley! Neuvillette: So Wriothesley knows about this? Clorinde, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

...

Neuvillette: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Wriothesley: Like its slips on and off really easily. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: No, I didn't mean it like that- Clorinde: We know what you meant.

...

Clorinde: What have you done with Neuvillette? Wriothesley: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

...

Neuvillette, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Wriothesley: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Wriothesley: Here you go. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: Clorinde: Why am I here?

...

Wriothesley: I’m this close to falling in love with Neuvillette. Clorinde: Your fingertips are touching. Wriothesley: Exactly.

...

Neuvillette: Would you take a bullet for me? Wriothesley: ...yes? *Clorinde angrily burst into the room* Neuvillette: *running away* Great, thanks!

guys i love them a healthy amount i swear. NOW DIE ON THIS HILL WITH ME

PART II is now up!