jaredd

[jaredd]

OCTOBER 27, 2020

gusto kong isigaw ang iyong pangalan

gusto ko ang oras ay bagalan

gusto kong ikaw ay aking hawakan

sana’y wala ng pagbawalan

gusto kong sayo lang ako tatabi

gusto kong sayo lang sasabay

ako man ang nauna at ikaw ang nahuli

sa pagtawid mo ay naghihintay

gusto kong tumayo para ikaw ay titigan

gusto kong pakinggan ang boses mo sa di kalayuan

gusto kong gumawa ng kahit ilang paraan

para ako ay bahagwa mong sulyapan

gusto kong sulitin ka at di ko na palalampasin

gusto kong titigan ka hanggang sa ikaw ay kiligin

gusto kong makasama ka sa pinagkaloob na panahon

mag hihintay at mag aabang sa pagkikita natin, kahit hindi pa ngayon.

[jaredd]

so why do I disappear when you come near, it makes me feel so small.

[jaredd]

mahal kita, higit pa sa alam mo, higit pa sa lahat ng iba, higit pa sa alam ko. may mga pagkakataong kahit ako sobrang naaamazed sa kung gano kalaki o katindi yung pagmamahal ko. kahit sarili ko hindi makapaniwala na kaya kong mag mahal ng higit pa sa inaakala ko. mahal kita ng higit pa lahat ng meron ako. kasi walang sense yung mga bagay na meron ako kung ikaw yung mawawala. mahal na mahal kita at hindi sapat yung kahit anong salita para maintindihan mo or mapicture out mo yung nararamdaman ko para sayo. hayaan mo nalang ako na mahalin ka sa paraan na alam ko. sana patuloy mo paren ng pagkatiwalaan yung pagmamahal na meron ako sayo. mahal na mahal kita at araw araw kitang mamahalin pa.

masaya ako, walang araw na hindi ko naramdamang masaya ako. simula nung bumalik ka saken, wala ng pumantay sa saya na nararamdaman ko. masayang masaya ako sa bawat oras na kausap ka. sobrang the best. iba yung impact nung gigising ka sa umaga ng masaya kasi ikaw yung unang nakikita ko. kahit ganto pa kapagod, katrashy, kabullshit ng buong araw, nawawala yun lahat kasi at the end of the day anjan ka. meron akong alliza, meron akong ikaw. may rason ako para maging masaya araw araw kasi asa akin ka. hanggat nasakin ka mahal ko, tandaan mo na palagi akong masaya. tandaan mo rin na wala ng hihigit pa sa kasiyahan na binibigay mo sakin. ikaw lang at ikaw ang magiging saya ko. ano man yung pagdaanan naten, i will always choose to treasure the happiness that you brought to my life mahal. palagi akong masaya sayo. palaging ikaw ang saya ko.

walang iba, wala kang kaagaw, sayo lang ako. ni hindi na nga ako nagbalak na magmahal ng iba. sumubok man na maghanap ng kapalit mo hindi ko na nagawa. alam kong hindi ko ren kakayanin eh na palitan ka. it won’t feel right kung hindi ikaw ang mamahalin ko, alam ko yun sa sarili ko. for a year, kinaya kong mag isa. kasi whats the sense of being in a relationship kung hindi ikaw. by then, i know i can find someone better than you but that’s not the case. ang nag stop saken to find someone to save my heart is sarili ko den. kasi alam nya kung para kanino sya. kilala nya kung sino yung dapat yung mag aalaga sakanya. alam nya kung kanino sya dapat pupunta. i can imagine how foolish and stupid i am that time. trying to stay faithful with someone who isn’t mine but who cares? wala namang nakakaalam ng katangahan ko, ako lang. i chose not to love anyone else just because they ain’t better than you. i chose not to love any other girl simply because im still inlove with you. kaya ngayon mahal na asaken ka, sisiguraduhin kong no one will ever come in our way. kung meron man alam kong hindi ako papayag. ill make you feel na ikaw lang sa lahat ng oras. sabi ko nga sayo, hiningi kita sa Kanya, pinagdarasal kita. you are my answered prayer mahal at hindi ko kayang mawala ka saken dahil lang sa ipagpapalit kita. 3 years ago until now, sayo ako. never akong nawala. never akong naging pag mamay ari ng iba. ikaw lang ang gusto kong mag may ari saken. sayo ko lang gustong isurrender yung buong sarili ko mahal. kaya you can trust me with all your heart na sayong sayo ako. walang magiging kahati kahit na sino. yung puso ko, fully occupied mo. masyado kitang mahal para may humati pa sa puso ko. you’re the only girl i want to love, i choose to love, i stay inlove with for the rest of my life and everyday i will prove it baby.

kaya lagi mong tatandaan na mahal kita, masaya ako sayo at sayo lang lang ako. i love you, my alliza.

[jaredd]

kung bibigyan ako ng tatlong beses para humiling, tatlong beses din kitang paulit ulit na hihilingin.

[jaredd]

Sir, I'm a bit nervous 'Bout being here today Still not real sure what I'm going to say So bare with me please If I take up too much of your time,

hello po sa mama and papa ni alliza. sorry if sumusulpot ako pabigla bigla. matagal ko na sanang gusto magpakilala bilang respeto sainyong dalawa at pasensya na po kung natagalan at natatagalan, gusto ko pong maging karapatdapat muna sakanya bago humarap sainyo. gusto ko maging maayos yung sarili ko bago hingin yung kamay ng nag iisang dalaga ninyo. malaki po yung respeto ko sainyo kaya gusto ko na sa araw na makikilala ko kayo, alam kong karapatdapat na ko sakanya dahil yun yung deserve niya at deserve niyo. yung mapanatag yung loob nyo na sa tamang tao mapupunta yung anak po ninyo. 

See in this box is a ring for your oldest She's my everything and all that I know is It would be such a relief if I knew that we were on the same side Cause very soon I'm hoping that I...

darating yung araw na malalaman nyong gusto ko na syang pakasalan at pinapangako ko na kayo yung unang makakaalam nun. kasi gusto ko marinig at malaman galing sainyo kung papayagan nyo ako. gusto ko po malaman nyo parehas na hindi po ako susuway. kung may mga bawal pa, handa naman ako mag comply. alam ko po na hindi naman po kayo mahirap makausap kasi mababait po kayo pero gusto ko pong sabihin na hindi ko po yun aabusuhin para masaktan yung anak ninyo. napakalaki ng respeto at pagmamahal ko sa inyo. gusto ko po na makuha ko po yung blessing nyo samin ng buo at hindi po ako gagawa ng ikakasama ng loob nyo saakin at saamin. 

Can marry your daughter And make her my wife I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life And give her the best of me 'til the day that I die, yeah I'm gonna marry your princess And make her my queen She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen Can't wait to smile When she walks down the aisle On the arm of her father On the day that I marry your daughter 

yan po yung pangarap ko para sa anak ninyo. na hindi ko lang po siya niligawan para maging girlfriend ko siya. balang araw gusto ko po sya maging asawa at bumuo ng masayang pamilya. at gusto ko po na kasama parin kayo sa pamilya na bubuuin namin. sya po yung gusto ko makasama simula umpisa hanggang dulo. aalagaan ko at mamahalin yung prinsesa ninyo, gagawin ko po syang reyna ng magiging pamilya namin. alam ko po na magagampanan nya ng maayos ang pagiging isang reyna o ilaw ng tahanan kasi nakita ko po na napalaki nyo po sya ng maayos. alam ko po na tama ang magiging desisyon ko na sya ang magiging asawa ko, magiging kabiyak ko sa habang buhay. sigurado ako na ako yung magiging pinakamasayang lalaki sa buong mundo kapag nangyari na yung pinakahihintay ko, yung maikasal ako sa anak ninyo. 

She's been here every step Since the day that we met (I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left) So don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad I've got most of my vows done so far (So bring on the better or worse) And till death do us part There's no doubt in my mind It's time I'm ready to start I swear to you with all of my heart...

marami na po kaming pinagdaanan. masaya at malungkot, pangit at maganda, tawa at iyak, at kung ano pa. halos lahat na nga yata ng vows sa kasal eh napag daanan na naming dalawa. alam namin na at some part hindi pa po yun sapat pero ang alam ko lang po ay kung kahit ano man ang pwedeng maranasan or maramdaman ko sa buong buhay ko, gusto ko po na anak ninyo ang kasama ko. handang handa po ako sa lahat basta kasama ko ang anak ninyo. hindi po ako nagdadalawang isip na maging asawa ko sya, kasi alam ko po sa sarili ko na sya na po talaga. aalagaan ko po sya at mamahalin. hindi ko po maipapangako na mahihigitan ko ang pagmamahal ninyo sakanya kasi kayo po ang magulang niya. pero ang mapapangako ko po sakanya is mabibigay ko po ang lahat lahat ng deserving para sakanya. hindi ko po pababayaan ang anak ninyo at magiging pamilya namin. magiging buo kami kahit anong mangyari. 

mahal na mahal ko po ang anak ninyo. at buong puso po akong rumerespeto sainyo. hayaan niyo lang po ako na mahalin sya. asahan nyo po na papasayahin ko sya. hindi ko po mapapangako na hindi kami mag aaway at kung ano pa. pero ang pangako ko po, kahit anong mangyari mas pipiliin kong manatili sakanya. 

[jaredd]

you are worthy of my love, effort, time and energy.

[jaredd]

Lord, i have 2 options made today for me to make it. if you think im bound to break my promise to you at hindi yun yung gusto mo, consume the spare time and the options i made. pero if its okay with You and you think na “its the right time”, give me this day to finally see her.

[jaredd]

1st

happy 1st monthsary ulet, mahal. hindi paren ako makapaniwala na mababati ulet kita ng happy monthsary. it was years na ako lang yung nag cecelebrate with our memories nung off tayo eh pero ngayon, nababati na ulet kita! nasalubong naten yung monthsary naten and im so happy.

sobrang dami pang 17 na pag dadaanan at icecelebrate pa naten mahal kaya sana wag kang mapagod mag bilang. kasi hindi na matatapos tong monthsary naten. 17 lang malakas mahal.

i will always stay with you no matter what happens babe. gaya nga ng sabi ko, leaving you will never be choice to take. kakayanin ko palagi wag ka lang mawawala saken. we can make it through my baby.

i love you always babe and i am so happy na we did it. im looking forward for more months and years with you my baby.

i love you, laiza. happy monthsary.

p.s. nung break tayo, id stay up until 12mn to whisper happy monthsary laiza before i go to sleep. i continously celebrated our monthsary kahit hindi tayo kasi im happy na i found you, na minahal kita, na naging akin ka sa araw ng 17.

[jaredd]

maybe the old songs will bring back the old times.

maybe the old lines will sound new.

[jaredd]

hello there love! 

thanks for being the biggest motivation i have. im always at doubt, scared at kung ano ano pa pero everytime na alam ko that you’re always there to support me, damn it feels great. thanks for giving me the reason to risk, to still push through kahit mahirap. alam kong somehow aware ka na its really a blank space for me kasi when i do my readings, wala akong maintindihan. hahaha. pero babe, everytime na naiisip ko yung future na need nating pag trabahuhan, buuin, tuparin, parang matik na nagkaka rason ako para mag double and triple effort to catch up sa field na hindi ko alam. im always thankful na may supportive akong girlfriend na anjan kapag kelangan ko ng motivation whenever im shaking. im always thankful sa existence mo mahal. you are the best gift na natanggap ko sa buong buhay ko and i will do anything to keep you. i can’t afford to lose you. 

baby i’ll do my best always to make you proud.  kahit paunti unti, kahit hindi ko pa alam kung papaano but i will. hindi ko sasayangin yung support, trust and motivation mo saken. i promise na magkakaroon ako ng progress everyday. i cant wait na magweknto ako araw araw sayo how my day has been and ganun ka den sana saken. we have so much to work on for our future babe and i am ready do this. im ready to build the foundation for our beautiful and loving family soon. 

mahal na mahal kita, misis ko. 

p.s. i don’t take risk if it’s not you, because you’re the only risk that’s worthy to take.

p.p.s. i promise we’ll make this to our happy every after.

[jaredd]

whats up jared? i know you’re somehow overwhelmed when you got the news today. you’re back in the ball game. pero yung bolang hawak mo, para sayo ba talaga?

i know you’re always thinking about a lot of things lately lalo na sa career mo and i am happy how you were able to turn it all around. i know how much of a doubter you are. you don’t know how to risk eh. you make sure na you’re always good at “that thing” before you finally go through it. pero this time, its not. you have completely no idea kung ano tong gagawin mo. you were thinking na parang student ka ulet for studying all of it. pero i know you’re going half there. you’ve changed a lot kasi ikaw yung jared na hindi mag bebend over sa isang bagay na hindi mo gusto, hindi mo alam at hindi mo pinlano. pero ngayon sobrang iba, you accepted everything kahit hindi ka sigurado kasi for you this is an opportunity to take, not a struggle to rant. and dude i am so proud. 

you’re doing great jared. hindi man siguro perfect at pulido pero pare, magagamay mo ren. just keep your eye on the goal, to be a better person everyday and the rest will follow na. stay optimistic everyday and never let any bad thoughts ruin your momentum. mahihirapan ka along the way pero alam kong you can always bang it out. 

kaya mo yan jared. wag kang matakot kabahan kasi normal yan. i always got your back hahaha! always think about what’s at stake dito sa path mo na to and im sure na that will keep you going. 

step up, red! you can do it. best of luck! 

love,

self

[jaredd]

daily reminder

i promise to stay faithful to you every single day.

[jaredd]

an open letter to the first girl i loved the most.

hi, it’s been a while. hindi nga lang yata “a while”. its been years and years since the last time i saw you and heard your voice.

i was uncertain before what was happening. i used to spend my everyday with you then all of a sudden, nawala ka.

you were the first one who cooked “sisig”, my favorite. you were the first one who taught me how to draw, to count, to read, to write. you were the one i go to when i had too much assignments to answer. for me, you were my problem solver.

if you could just imagine how bad my days were when i was a kid, i swear you wont be able to believe na i was able to survive, na we were able to survive. you know na you put bread to our family’s plate because you earn more than papa but you it seems like you didn’t care... you didn’t care to ask me a question, you didn’t bothered to ask me this question “domdom/omin, gusto mo ba sumama kay mama?” kasi probably i’d choose you. but i’m happy you didn’t care to ask that question kasi i was able to grow up with papa. i stood up with papa when i started to understand the mess and from there i knew i was in the right path somehow kahit wala ka.

ma, i dont know any reasons why you did that. for years i stopped feeling anything para sayo. kasi kung galit lang yung mararamdaman ko ma, mas gusto kong wala nalang akong maramdaman. i never turned my back sayo, i just kept the distance you made from us. remember when i’m trying to ask you to come to school because family day and i need a mom? all i got was nothing. ma, hindi kita sinusumbatan. hindi ko sinasabi sayo na lahat ng shortcomings mo para maguilty ka kasi i know at some point of the day you know that the decision you made was unfair. and i know you’re smart enough to know that. at wala ako sa posisyon para ipamuka lahat yun kasi anak mo lang ako. all i want to let you know me is i am hurting no matter how i try not to. minsan hindi ko alam how can i really stop it to bleed, kasi it’s been years pero ang sakit paren whenever i think about it. believe me i tried ma, i tried to pick up the broken pieces when you choose to leave pero wala na yatang paraan para mabuo pa. kasi hindi naman talaga kami masasabing kumpleto kung wala ka.

i don’t know what you’re up to kung bat mo ko gustong makita pero ma, i don’t have the courage just yet. im not closing any doors ma, and hindi kita tinatalikuran pero wala pa kong lakas ng loob para makita ka. wala pa kong tapang para makita yung unang babaeng minahal ko, at unang babae na bumiyak ng puso ko.

ma, you brought me in this world and i am thankful for that and i know, i have so much more to be thankful for sayo. iipunin ko nalang muna hanggang sa araw na makaharap ulit kita.

p.s. mahal kita ma, pasensya na hindi ko pa talaga kaya.

[jaredd]

50 FACTS ABOUT ME

1. DJRI

2. 1996 kid

3. south boi 

4. i love dark colors

5. pancit canton (sweet and spicy) is my comfort food 

6. i dont like sweets

7. afraid of heights and under water. lol

8.  dreamed of being a pilot, doctor and lawyer. 

9. chocolate flavor is my main

10. pizza is my bae

11. soft boi with the right person

12. french fries is my side chic 

13, im getting insane while tasting the heavenly sweetness of a leche flan 

14. macaroni salad rocks!

15. my cellphone number starts with 09... lol 

16. papa’s boi indeed

17. found the love of my life at the age of 21. 

18. i love wetting my lips using my tongue. lol 

19. i love being topless when sleeping. 

20. my upbeat song every draining moment is “what dreams are made of”. kid shit lol 

21. sisig is my main chic meal

22. i can eat mami/pares every fucking single day

23. i love spontaneous travels

24. im a player (double meaning tho, you think what you think)

25. i love kids

26. i grew up without any mom image 

27. mostly you’ll see me around with headphones on (with music or not)

28. i have wide taste in music. 

29. im a complex dude, you cant handle me one handed. 

30. i got 3 sisters i haven’t met. (your kuya badly wants to date u all) 

31. they say my eyes are very intimidating when i started to stare. 

32. sleepy head

33. not a morning person

34. time conscious 

35. kobe bryant is my GOAT

36. has a bad handwritting 

37. bad decision maker

38. i hate grumply girls. lol

39. experienced a lot of sleeping paralysis

40. had couple of sports injuries hehe 

41. never kissed someone on the lips

42. would like to consider marriage before babies

43. angel locsin is my longest running crush (simula mulawin days lol)

44. i draw anime characters when i was a kid but ended up drawing plans as i grow up lol 

45. an absolute overthinker

46. math sucks

47. i would rather stare you to death than speak impulsively towards people who act dumb/bad.

48. i would rather cry because of stress and frustration than to shout/speak aggressively. 

49. soooo fucking OC type of boi

50. i hate being shouted at, i.really.fucking.hate.that.

[jaredd]

being tired is necessary, parang sobrang normal na yatang mapagod sa araw araw kasi nakakapagod talaga. 

alam mo ba mahal na kahit gano ka toxic, ka bullshit itong panahon at mundong ginagalawan naten, mas napipili kong maramdaman na masarap mabuhay kasi nanjan ka, kasi nasakin ka. you are my peace of mind baby. you make me realize how meaningful and wonderful the world is because i have you. mas pipiliin kong mapagod araw araw kasi alam kong at the end of the day nanjan ka.

i love you, lai. 

p.s. to answer your request sa image above, i just want to let you know na yes babe. hinding hindi ako mapapagod dahil ikaw ang aking pahinga. 

p.p.s. mapapagod ako sa maghapon mahal, pero hindi sayo. 

[jaredd]

s a l a m a t salamat baby ha? salamat kasi dumating ka sa ko. biglaan man at hindi ko inaasahan pero yun yung pinakamagandang nangyare sa buhay ko. from no one, ginawa mo kong better at going there sa pagiging best version ng sarili ko. 
marami akong natutunan at matututunan pa. alam kong marami pa akong lessons na makukuha for you and ang sarap sa feeling na yung girlfriend ko yung nag bibigay saken ng reasons to be a better person and version of myself. sobrang sarap lang ikeep kasi alam mong hindi lang to yung relationship na puro kilig, marami akong babaunin na memories with you. 
para saken you’re always the perfect girl, perfect partner, best half of me. and that never changed since 2017. 
i love you, lai. 
p.s. you would always buhay that i was the reason kung bat naging better si laiza pero di mo alam, you changed me more because you gave me reason to live a better life. and for that, thank you mahal.

[jaredd]

not your typical alarm

you were really amazed about my alarms no? you find it cute and sweet pero there’s so much more about it babe.

dati i would wake up anytime i wanted lalo na when ecq started. walang direction yung gising ko. the moment i open my eyes tapos gusto ko ng gumising at bumangon, that’s the only time i will. pag ayoko pa, edi mamaya na bumangon. that’s how messy my mornings are, napaka trashy and childish. wala naman kasing rason para gumising ng maaga eh. walang rason ang bawat umaga.

pero alam mo babe? everything changed when we got back. nagkaroon ako ng lead every morning why i should wake up at every certain time shown sa alarm ko. may reason ako why i need to get up and start a new day, to spend the whole day with you, to start showing how much i love you, to show you that i support you the whole day sa work mo and to be a better person (since nag wwork naman ako kahit di halata minsan). i have something to look forward to baby and thanks to you.

i’ll never get tired of waking up in the morning na ikaw ang dahilan sa bawat pag gising. you’ll always be the reason of every “good morning” ng buhay ko. ❤️

i love you and good morning, lai.

p.s. if you’ll check every label of my alarm, ikaw talaga yung reason kung baket need ko mag wake up at certain time. kasi gigising ka, babangon ka, at para makausap/malambing ka na.

p.p.s. hope i was able to complete your morning. have a nice day love.