jarofrebuke-transcripts - Tumblr blog

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 11 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 11: Observations B

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for case [audio distortion]

GIA

I'm sorry, I'm not sure what that was. This equipment is in dire need of upgrades. This is Dr. Gia Castillo. The following audio recording is classified documentation for case H57. The subject has proven to be a bit... stubborn? Annoying? Well perhaps “difficult” is the best word. Ideally things would just go smoothly so that I could get back to what I was actually hired to do. I have a PhD in zoology, I have spent thousands of dollars for my education and title, but this? This? This is asinine, this is absolutely ludicrous, this is flat out stupid. There's no reason for this much time, effort, and money to be spent on Todd's little pet project. I was hired to examine how pollution and radiation could lead to the creation of these creatures, from afar. The local deer population for example? All of that research was led by me from my lab. Processing the radioactivity readings, exposure rates, things that could have led to the possible creation of the not-dear? In my professional opinion, is quite solid. And now? Now I'm playing babysitter to some… thing that Todd told me to watch over via nanny cam because he's too scared to. I have to play lab partner with something that never even earned its degree, yet still gets the title? I'll have to edit all of that out.

Today the subject took that hellhound on a walk after breakfast, which was then followed by some time watching television, a shower and then a frantic phone call. I won't know who it called until after a system synced tonight to pick up all the data from its phone and audio journal but it exhibited clear behavior and body language of being in quite a panic. It sat down and had started to record a session in its audio journal. While the audio journaling has remained as consistent as before, there have been some changes in its other behaviors. My recent findings have shown that the subject has been quite resistant to Dr. Daman’s sessions as of late. By the sound of its complaints and also of Dr. Daman's reports, the resistance is only worsening. Which led to another observer being brought in not too long ago- Mr. Zimmer. Now that I have the utter displeasure of working with him, my luck only continues to sour. Anyways, through the audio files and also the footage from the cameras, we are seeing signs of something else for us to look into. It taking in that hellhound as a pet of all things was both simultaneously surprising but also not too out of character for what we have seen previously. Creatures like those tend to be drawn to one another. But now there appears to be a third creature of sorts wandering around that particular home. We need to look further into what's captured on our recordings. The subject has mentioned to Dr. Daman seeing shadows around its home so that may be a good start for us. With that hellhound, Grove I believe it's taken to calling it, the team has agreed that it's best if that creature isn't around to further influence the subject. Of course the influence isn't intentional on the hellhound’s part per se, but the subject's empathy towards other supernatural creatures has only amplified since taking it in. That puts quite a hindrance on the goal that we were given by Todd, so it needs to go.

Dr. Daman suggested perhaps staging a sort of “running away from home” that pets tend to do. That may be our best course of action but putting this into action will take more time and planning. And we have also tried to get rid of those black-eyed children that keep tapping on its door. A bit of pest control as Todd calls it but well, in Mr. Zimmer's words- like roaches they don't die easily and they will come back. They seem to become only more adamant about being let into the subject's house. After the subject's investigation of those melon head children in the woods, Todd has decided that it'd be best to attempt to round them up and bring them in as well. Too dangerous to leave them out, he claims. Eating people seems to be the line, but Todd has shown no concern with the creature our subject encountered out in the river. I believe he has a certain disdain for creatures with child-like forms, at least that's a theme I've observed.

[door opens] Ah, what brings me the pleasure of your company?

LIAM

Ah, Gia, hello! I just came to check in and see how we were doing today, do a check in with the patient. How is it doing today?

GIA

That is Dr. Castillo, Mr. Zimmer. It just sat down to record a session of the audio journal. It was rather wise for Dr. Daman to encourage that, giving us a clear look into its thoughts. Of course what exactly it's saying I won't know until later tonight once the cloud collects the data, though it just got off of the phone with someone and has been pacing around the room quite nervously while talking.

LIAM

Fascinating. It's always so adamant about the supposed feelings it has. If I didn't know any better, I would say that it's practically human in every way! Look at it- the stress, the agitation. You know, the way that it so often curls into itself in our sessions truly is human. If only it knew the truth.

GIA

We're here to see how long we can keep the truth from it. I know you're using this to satiate personal curiosities, Mr. Zimmer, but we do have a goal to attain, and we must treat this as if we only have one shot at it.

LIAM

Oh of course, of course. But you can't tell me it's not incredibly curious. It acts so human and doesn't even think for a second that it might not be? Even though it's experienced death, well, far more times than it can count. I've seen it's so-called medical files. Dr. Rahal must really stretch his brain to figure out how to explain it all in a way that doesn't tip it off. And the fact that its body scars like a human body does is also fascinating.

GIA

Considering that Dr. Rahal is being kept on a need to know basis with this case, of course he must get a bit creative with his explanations.

LIAM

And based on those little audio journals, we may need to make sure that the good doctor isn't getting too soft with the patient. We don't have the luxury to empathize with the creature.

GIA

Would you empathize with it even if we did have the luxury?

LIAM

Hmm that's quite an excellent question, though I'm inclined to say no...

GIA

Which does not surprise me, given your reputation. Now if you would excuse me, Mr. Zimmer, I would like to resume my examinations. I'll forward you my notes and findings once I'm done.

LIAM

Of course, of course, doctor. I'll send over my notes from my most recent session with it to you and Dr. Daman at my next convenience. Talk to you later, Gia.

GIA

He is going to break our subject before we can find another one. Bringing him into this project was a ridiculous idea. I get that we're here to see just how human this creature has become, but you can see humanity without shattering one's mental stability. Anyways, this would imply that the creature has become human at all. It's still what it was before just with a human shell. Nothing will change what the creature is no matter how it looks or acts. I'll have to edit all of that out as well.

The subject has now taken to rocking slightly in its seat as it records. Something new that it picked up. There's various reasons that people rock back and forth but if it's picked this up from witnessing someone do this that would make sense. Dr. Daman encouraged it to engage more within the community of Wichton, mostly so we could see how it would socialize, but we didn't expect it to have so much success in doing so. The primary documented friends that it's made have been a few residents in town, primarily a Darius Chapman and a Holly Darling. Also it is reconnecting with its old lab partner, Dr. Milo Lomax, who had never been told the full truth hence why they were separated as lab partners. It has also been spending time with a research scientist from another department, uh, Dr. Jamie Everett. I'm not sure how much she has been briefed on the situation. With the amount of employees here who have been left in the dark on the true nature of this case it's safer to assume that she doesn't know, but I cannot say that for certain. I will need to reach out to Todd to see how deeply, if at all, Dr. Everett is involved.

That hellhound has been sniffing around its house quite a bit lately. Whether it's just part of more canine behavior or if it's more of the cryptid nature, I am not sure. Whatever it may be it's getting in the way of my view. Has it spotted the camera? It couldn't have, it's still just a dog! [clicking sounds] Oh, no, okay. All right, uh well, this is, this is bad. The subject has found the camera! How did this happen, this is... I have to inform Todd immediately, this is not damage control that we can afford to handle poorly! Damn it.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is created and produced by Casper Oliver. Dr. Gia Castillo is voiced by Vanessa Rosengrant. Mr. Liam Zimmer is voiced by Andy “Pixel” Smith. Credits are read by Ashley Craft who has created the podcast official graphics. Episode was edited by Chelsea Finley. Episode was written by Casper Oliver and Jenny O'Sullivan. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s who you can find and support on bandcamp, spotify, and twitch. Follow us on social media for updates. If you've been enjoying us please consider leaving a rating, review or comment wherever you tune in. You can also support us on patreon or pod hero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, Danny and Joyce.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

7 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 10 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 10: Observations A

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

DARIUS

Hey Jared! Uh… guess I called in at a bad time, huh? I just wanted to give a quick call to chat? Nothing serious, everything’s okay, don’t worry, I just want to check in. We’ve both been really busy the last few days, but I thought I’d see if you wanted to… I don’t know, grab lunch here soon? I know work’s got your schedule pretty full so we can meet up during your lunch break? I know the Waytooth has $1 pie slices around lunchtime, and their strawberry rhubarb pie is to die for. I think you’ll like it. Also, there’s a part of your birthday present I never actually got to give you? I kinda wanted to give it to you when it was just you and me, but we didn’t actually have any time to ourselves on your birthday? It’s nothing big, I could even just, uh, send it to you if you prefer. Anyways, just give me a call when you got the chance. Or text, that’s cool too. We could meet up whenever, as long as my dads know and give them a heads up, it’s fine. Well, besides Saturday. We have some maintenance that’s gotta be done and I already promised to help. So, any day besides Saturday. Um, hope you’re having a good day? Talk to you later.

JARED

I am such an idiot! Does Darius really? Uh, I mean, how long has he? I’m, I’m so dense! I got this voicemail this morning when I was in the shower. I thought about just calling him back but it felt… weird. I was a little concerned and Very confused so, well, I called Jamie for advice. She’s quickly becoming my go-to for, well, things like this. Literally all she did was call me a dense bitch and broke down for me what apparently was obvious and I… well, now I don’t really know what to do. So, Darius likes me. I mean, I guess it kind of makes sense. He did put together a party for my birthday. It was small, cozy really, but he really put a lot of thought into it, which he really didn’t have to. But that’s not necessarily romantic, right? It was on the Chapman farm, and there were all sorts of decorations and things to eat. Everyone that came bought something and it was really nice! Some were homemade dishes, others were things that people brought in from places in town. And it was all delicious. It wasn’t too big, which I was really grateful for. But there were quite a few people that I’ve learned to call friends. Including Holly and some of the folks that I haven’t really seen since the snipe hunt! And Jamie said that he wouldn't have put all of that time into making me a cake if he didn't really… well, it was actually kind of cute. He got all flushed when he presented it because the icing was sort of falling apart and, oh, shit, he likes me.

[Grove walks to Jared] Hey buddy. I don’t really know how I am supposed to feel or how to respond. I haven't really been in this sort of situation, at least not that I can remember. Ugh, gods, what if I'm a bad partner? No one’s bothered to come looking or reach out, or… I have to really think about it. But I don't know what to say to him until I figure it out. I have to get back to him eventually.

Hmm. Anyway, in other news, I brought up the moving shadows I have been seeing to Dr. Daman. Apparently it’s rather common to have stress-induced hallucinations like those, especially with my trouble sleeping recently. She recommended that I try sleep aids, but I’m not really sure on how I feel about that either. There’s nothing wrong with people that need them to sleep, that’s all well and good. But something about chemically forcing me to sleep? I don't know, it just kind of rubs me the wrong way, I don’t... [sounds of Grove pawing at something] Hey, what are you getting into over there? (sighs) Grove has been sniffing around the house a lot lately. He did that when I first took him in, which is to be expected, but he’s just kept sniffing around. It’s like he’s searching for something, I don’t, whatever. Dogs do strange things, that doesn’t exclude hellhounds, I’m sure.

(sighs) Speaking of the whole Darius thing, we actually got to go sledding a few days before my birthday too. It was really nice. It was a lot colder than I expected. I know, I know, that yeah it’s snow, it’s cold, but it’s different when the cold is outside of your clothes than when it gets literally everywhere. But I don't know, it was exhilarating. But in a really good way, not a “running desperately for your life” kind of way. Holly ended up Beaming Darius with a snowball, their aim is brutal. He flew right off the sled and into a snowbank and he came up covered in snow, looking like a snowman. I don’t think I've ever heard him laugh like that before. It was just so refreshing to be able to just live, to just exist with my friends for a little while in a way that distracted me from my own thoughts. Because when I get to thinking too much, I don't like what comes to my head. I think too much, for one thing, about work, about my nightmares, about this upcoming career day that I agreed to. If I do a bad job, which I’m sure I will, I’m going to let Anika down. The thought of that basically gives me hives. All of this stress led to Dr. Daman suggesting that I try medication again. I was hesitant, of course, but she said that if I don’t wanna try sleep aids I could at least try mood stabilizers or something. Last time I tried meds for my mood it did jack diddly squat for me. She suggested that we try a different type of medication and at this point I am willing to try pretty much anything to help with these thoughts and the mood swings. I hate being so unstable, I hate having no real reason to feel sad or anxious and yet that is all I can feel.

So I've started up another medication. They say it will likely take a few weeks to kick in, so we’ll just have to wait and see. And I can’t tell if this is just general anxiety or if I am anxious about the medication itself, too. Not like it can make things much worse right? [knocks] Knock on wood at least. I really gotta stop saying things like that, I know it will just invite things to get worse. Like I still keep catching glimpses of that shadow around my house. Dr. Daman is sure that it’s just stress. Mr. Zimmer doesn’t even think that it’s there. I know it is, I’ve seen it in my peripheral. Sometimes I see it behind me, over my shoulder in the mirror. I never see it for long though, just glimpses. I know it’s there, it’s gotta be, right? Mr. Zimmer says that it’s all in my head, that I’m imagining things. At least Dr. Daman gives a reason as to Why I would be seeing it, but Mr. Zimmer is sure that there’s other things I should be focusing on. Like remembering. We’ve started something called accelerated resolution therapy, or ART. He said it’s typically usually used in treating things like trauma, which he’s pretty sure isn’t my issue, especially since I don't even remember anything, but it is rooted in memory, so we’re trying it out. He basically makes me move my eyes back and forth, walks me through a scene, and I sort of relive it in my head. It’s used to rewire emotional responses, I think? But we’re trying to see if it helps me remember anything. And so far… nothing. Mr. Zimmer is fairly certain that I’m just not trying hard enough, but I’m trying as hard as I can, I just can’t remember anything. I think he got a little huffy with me after our last session didn’t bring up anything too terribly substantial to the surface, which I hated. Both his frustration and the lack of progress. So I did tell him about that sweet smell back at the school that flew me into a panic after smelling it? Smell is the sense most closely linked to memory right, so it’s gotta be something. He seemed curious about it and had me describe the smell. The faintest sweetness, a mild smell. It smells good, almost too good. The word that he used was an ethereal smell, which, sure, I guess. But how ethereal can it be if it causes me to break into a sweat and feel the need to run? He dismissed that question, took some notes, and then carried on to the next topic as if I hadn’t even mentioned anything. Nothing.

I don't even want to bring it up with Dr. Daman at this point. Recently it seemed like she steeled her resolve to help me and has been more active in figuring out what’s going on. But we've been at this for years now. I'm not sure what we could do that we haven't tried before. Unless I'm just not trying hard enough… No. I am trying my hardest to remember, but it just feels like I’m slamming my head against a brick wall more than I’m actually remembering anything. I touched on my nightmares again, but they both just chalked it up to stress with work and fitting in with the community. Which, you know, Dr. Daman used to be so supportive of me going out and mingling with those in town? But now, just so flippant about it. Like she couldn’t care less either way about it anymore. Whatever.

(sighs) I guess I should give Darius a call back here soon. I just have no idea what to say. I don't wanna change what we have, i don't want to lose what we have, but… i don't know. I’m not opposed to the idea of dating I guess? I just… we’re good friends, I really like being around him and everything, but just because I’m a good friend doesn’t mean I will be a good partner. I’m always so busy with work, and I have no clue what it means to be in a romantic relationship. And if we Were to date, what kind of relationship is built on so many lies? Yeah, sure, I try to usually tell at least a half truth or whatever when I can, but it’s still kind of lying. He doesn't even know the real me! Would he like me if he did? All this baggage and whatever else that I’d bring into the relationship? What would he say when he realizes I only have two years of real life experience. That I rebound from death with nothing to show for it other than more scars and some bodily discomfort. He’s asked about my scars before, the little ones on my hands and arms, mostly. But I think I've caught him looking at the ones on my face. I don’t… I don’t like it when people stare at them. And he doesn’t stare, but still. He’s taken notice. He’s asked what happened and I told him, oh, you know, general hazards of life! He chuckled at it, but I don’t think he fully bought it. He still seems concerned from time to time, but I think he just tries to help me keep my mind busy and keep me trying new things when I’m not weighed down by work. He’s… a great guy. A good cook, a great teacher, a great friend. When I’m low energy, he’s always down to just sit with me and not do much. When I want someone to talk to he’s always there to listen, and to chat, as long as he’s not busy with his work or his own classes, which did wrap up last month, so we’ve been spending a bit more time together. I introduced him to Jamie, it was a bit in passing, but they seemed to get along well. I was just showing Jamie more around town after getting lunch, we’d actually been heading back to my car when we bumped into him outside Mrs. Weddington’s Bakery. They were like two peas in a pod pretty quickly. I’m going to try to have us all hang out here soon.

(sighs) But I… I gotta talk with Darius one on one first. Gods, it’s so much easier to interact with the creatures that I study, to be honest. People are just [Grove starts growling] more complicated? At least for me. I don’t- [Grove knocks over something] Hey, hey, woah, what- what’re you getting into? What did you- [Grove snarls] Is that… a camera? When, when did that get there? Shit, are there more? [audio distortion] Uh, no, you know what? No. Screw that. This is my house, I am not gonna have this shit in my own house! [static rises then cuts off]

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is created and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Darius Chapman is voiced by VynVox. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Episode was edited by Chelsea Finley. Episode was written by Casper Oliver and Jenny O’ Sullivan. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. If you’ve been enjoying us, please consider leaving a rating, review or comment, wherever you tune in. You can also support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, Danny and Joyce.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts #aaaa it's done it's here thank you for your patience folks!!!

5 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 9 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 9: Tapping

INTRO

JARED

It's like two o'clock in the morning and I cannot sleep, so I thought I'd just, get up and record. Grove is over on the couch so at least I'm not alone. But it's, it's been a weird night. Work has been stressful. Therapy hasn't been helpful, even though it should be. Trying to maintain personal relationships even though I have no idea what I should and shouldn't trust people with has been... Headaches have been coming and going, sleeping troubles are well, I guess obviously still troubling me. I stopped seeing Dr. Rahal over every little thing. He wants to help but there just doesn't seem to be anything that I can really do. I've done everything he suggested, sometimes it helps, but usually it doesn't. It really feels like he's worried, but I swear there's stuff he's not telling me, so I don't really know how to feel about all that. And then there's Dr. Daman and Mr. Zimmer. They, they care, at least they say they do. “Of course we care, that's our job!” or something like that. I, I just, I don't know. Dr. Daman has been getting a bit more dismissive of things that I'd consider progress or achievements. I'm making friends, I'm developing bonds, I'm finding things I like to do outside of work, I'm living! But she seems to try and just focus on, like, emotional responses and faults. Never successes. How I physically feel when stressed, what my sleep is like, things like that. I don't feel listened to, I feel pried into.

And there's Mr. Zimmer. We started by just getting to know each other. The first meeting was strange, it felt more like something I'd seen on TV, rather than an actual person talking to me. He was curious about me, but kept reminding me that all I needed to do was just work with him, and that it would be an easy fix. I, I don't like that phrasing- fixing. I don't feel broken? Yeah, an absolute mess and a half, but I don't like being told that I'll be fixed, like I'm some cracked object or something. Like there's some sort of end goal that I need to become instead of just being able to be me and thrive? We were hitting some hiccups a while back, I've been getting strange dreams, but he thinks it's just anxiety and stress. It's like, I'll be dreaming, but I can't move. I'm laying on my back and no matter how hard I try I can't move. There's usually other people in the room, but I can't see faces or make out what's being said. And there's often bright lights shining right on me. He said it's likely just me feeling trapped or like an outsider in my own life, which, yeah, that's exactly how I feel. I feel like I can't grow because I don't remember, I don't have a base to really grow off of. I mean I know in general what I did before, work-wise. I know where I went to school, at least according to my records. I brought up maybe taking a vacation to drive out to see the IU campus, maybe that could help jog my memory a bit. But I did just have a week off, I doubt that I'd be approved for another vacation anytime soon. And I'd hate to drive all that way all by myself, I don't even know if I could take Grove? Like, would he be able to go so far away from Wichton? Anyways, not like I'd get approved for it anytime soon, there's no guarantee that it would even do anything for me besides be a waste of gas money. So I just keep going to therapy with Dr. Daman and Mr. Zimmer, talking about my feelings, talking about my lack of remembering, talking about whatever I got up to that day. About feeling unfulfilled, feeling tired, and feeling stuck.

I'm… I'm finally getting involved around town. I still go every week or so to Mrs. Weddington’s bakery, to the Chronicle Inn to see Ester and Laura. I was an idiot and agreed a few weeks ago to talk at the school's upcoming career day, which I still have no idea how to prepare for. Something doesn't feel right about going and just lying to a bunch of kids for like, an hour. Ugh, you know for someone who complains about lying I sure do lie a lot. But what else am I supposed to do? Tell people what I really do? Tell Holly and Darius the truth about, well, that I can't die, die? That I've got no memories from before two years ago, that I don't know who or what I even am? I'm a scientist at the Enclosure, yeah, but... Sometimes it's just easier to lie. I've tried to play it off like I do it because I have to, but maybe I do it because it's easier. It's easier to spit out a lie on the spot and not have to have heavy conversations than to sit someone down and tell them the truth. And of course telling the truth would ideally involve someone believing the truth. Ideally. My truth's a bit hard to believe.

Mr. Zimmer asked if I even really want to let people in or if I just want people around. He asked it with that smile of his, the one that doesn't reach his eyes in the way that it should. He asked if maybe, just maybe, I don't really care about the close relationships and I just want to mirror what I see around me. He said that if I really want people around and to have those close connections that I'd just open up, why aren't I? What's so hard about opening up? Like, am I wrong in thinking that it's kind of a big deal to just tell the whole truth to people like Holly and Darius? Hell, even Jaime and Milo? Milo knows more, they learned a bit about my ability and lack of memory back when we were lab partners. Jamie knows a bit about my amnesia, but she doesn't know the whole I-don't-stay-dead thing. That's sort of kept on a need-to-know basis at work. Now I just have no idea if my friendships even matter, because there's so many lies and secrets. But it's not all fake. I have real memories with these people, real laughs, real talks, real moments of shared silence, us teaching each other things, things that are in real friendships. I just, I want friends. I'd like friends that I don't have to keep so much from but, what other choice do I have, huh?

I actually told Darius a bit about my attending IU recently but when he asked me about it I told him the truth and that, well, I don't really remember a lot about it. We joked about it being that I was so overwhelmed by the paperwork and research. I'm not gonna correct him. I talked to my therapists a bit about trying to navigate friendships and whatnot. When I really have no idea who I am, how am I supposed to be honest if I don't even know what's true? I guess that's just something else to work on, huh. Recently I did a bit more digging on my own files and uh... sorry. I think the exhaustion is getting to me? I keep seeing shadows in my peripheral, it keeps feeling like someone is there, but nothing. This started pretty recently. [Grove whimpers] It's okay, it's okay Grove, I'm okay, I'm all right. Go back to sleep. Anyways, I looked into my own files. Uh, there's not much on me from before the incident, as usual. But I mean, I worked for a different company so I guess it makes sense that they don't have my files? It's weird though that I can't even find the name of the company I previously worked for. I suspected something to do with confidentiality, but it's still strange. I tried to look into the incident itself, but again, password barriers. That's the thing I keep hitting when I look into myself, into Dr. Kelder from the business card I found, when I tried to learn more about my former teammates who didn't survive the incident. Everything is password blocked. Of course.

If I could learn what I'd been studying that could likely explain so much. Like what has the ability to make a human nigh immortal. I still don't know if things like illness and age can kill me. I assume the former can't, but I have no idea about age. There's nothing in my studies that points to what could have done this to me. But I, I have this record of a life prior to the incident. Even if a lot of it is behind a barrier, it's, it's it's there, I can feel it, I just, I just need to get to it! I've got nothing else to go with. I'm also trying to just be... to be more often, you know? Just let myself exist in the moment, just let myself live. That's something that Dr. Rahal suggested when I kind of broke down to him once. Gods that was embarrassing. It helps that I have people around, you know, now like Holly and Darius. They're getting closer as buds and they're still planning a time for us to go sledding and to hang out. And while I love being around them both it can be tiring. I always worry I'm gonna say the wrong thing or reveal too much or that they're gonna realize that I'm actually pretty damn dull. At least I think I am. And like, am I a good friend? Am I a good person? I'm involved in a job that does more harm than good, in my opinion. But I can't leave. What else would I do, who would I turn to? I am nothing outside of the Enclosure. And people don't just quit working at the Enclosure. I lie, I'm bitter, I don't know what I'm doing in half of my interactions, if not more than half. And... no one's come looking for me. No one from my past has ever reached out- no former colleagues, no former friends, no family, no partners, nothing. No one. So like was I a shit friend, did I have friends? Was I a bad worker, is that why I was transferred to the Enclosure? But if so why was I put on such a high profile case-situation that is now password protected?

I mean, I guess the idea of romance is nice, I guess, it looks fun. I'd like to have someone to be close to, but I have no idea ifI've ever been romantically involved. Holly literally asked me about that recently, they asked if I had someone special. Which I had to ask them to elaborate what they meant because I consider them special. But they meant if I had anyone romantically dear to me. I said no because I'm not dating anyone or anything and I really don't know what that would even entail outside of the title and what I've seen in movies the last few years. And the movies that Holly's shown me, even to me obviously, have been poor representation of healthy romance. They asked if I've ever dated, I told them no, I told them I've always been too busy and that the right person just hasn't come around yet. Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. They said it's okay if I don't have interest in dating but that's, that's not it. Again the idea is appealing in theory but I've got, I've got a lot going on right now, I don't think that I'm in a place to even consider it. I, I wouldn't be a good romantic partner. I'm struggling to keep my friendships going well. But I see it everywhere though, Ether and Laura are like the golden couple in town, everyone loves them. Some of Darius's friends are dating, Holly and Jamie both often gush about cute people, but I... I don't understand. And... am I just wishing for what I see around me? Is Mr. Zimmer... to mirror? I don't want to talk about it anymore.

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Darius asked a while ago when my birthday was and actually seems to have remembered which never happens, people usually forget my birthday. He also remembered that I don't like surprises so he asked permission to throw me a little something after I told him I haven't celebrated in ages. So he's planning a little thing for next month, he told me that it'll just be a little get-together nothing huge. A few friends, food, the usual. But he does want to surprise me with what he's exactly planning to do. As long as I know a party's coming and it's small, I'm... it's okay. I can emotionally prepare for it enough, I'm sure. And I trust Darius to to not blow but two out of proportion. He seems to understand my energy levels enough to make a safe guess. I don't even know what else to talk about. I just can't sleep and I find comfort in recording. my sleep schedule's been worse lately. I agree with Dr. Rahal. Stress, I've been stressed. Very stressed. Working with Dr. Daman and Mr. Zimmer is stirring up a lot of feelings but Dr. Daman assured me that that's part of the process, you have to open old wounds or scratch beyond the surface to get to what really needs to be worked on. At least when she smiles, it reaches her eyes more, but she doesn't often smile as much. I don't blame her, I feel like nowadays neither of us really want to be doing these therapy sessions. And, and I can't find another therapist, I'm stuck with what I got so I'm gonna make it work. As Mr. Zimmer said, it'll be easier if I work with them. Even if that's what I've been doing since I started seeing them, I'll just keep working on working with them. Eventually something's gotta give.

Just another shadow. The kids stopped knocking an hour ago, it's just Grove and I. Maybe I should turn on the TV for some background noise or something, just something besides the ringing silence and whatever noises settling houses tend to make at night. I'm so tired but my brain won't shut off for me to sleep and I keep having nightmares when I do. Sleep used to be so appealing and now I hate it. I hate these constant appointments and struggling to sleep. I hate all of these assignments that don't quite fit my job description. I hate struggling to always know what to say and when to say it, and I lost all memory of my formative years in social development so I miss so many cues that others view as obvious! But I don't know, and I can't remember! Dr. Daman said for me to give myself a little bit of patience with that, but she said that a while ago, and we really haven't delved into that topic recently, so I don't even know if she still has patience for that anymore.

[tapping sounds] Are you kidding me? Come on, there's no need to be doing this now! Guys! I'm tired, please, just leave me be, for one night! Please, I'm just, [audio distortion] I'm just trying, I don't even know, I don't, there's, there's too much, too much. Please leave me alone, please just leave me alone, please. [distortion increases, high pitched static] I can't, just please, I said, I said stop! [normal audio] [Grove whines] I'm sorry, I'm sorry buddy, I'm sorry, come here. Thank you. I'm gonna watch some TV, maybe uh, maybe have a snack. That'll help. I could try a shower. I'd… I'd think about walking Grove if those black-eyed children weren't probably right outside. This is my house, can I just have a little peace and quiet! I just want some time to rest, in my house. Snack, TV, shower. Then I'll try and sleep again. This is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Episode was edited by Chelsea Finley. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on social media for updates. If you’ve been enjoying us, please consider leaving a rating, review or comment, wherever you tune in. You can also support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, and Joyce.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

7 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 8 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 8: Black Ice

INTRO

JARED

[shivers] So, looked into those kids, the melon heads? Why is it always kids? I'm so bad with kids! Okay maybe not bad with kids but I'm by no means good with them. It doesn't help that it's cold out today, able to see my breath and everything. It started to snow while I was out there which didn't help anything. I personally like the colder seasons, I'm not too sensitive to it and it really takes a lot to make me feel chilled to the bone. As long as I'm not soaking wet at least. But I was out there for hours and it's finally started to get dark which, yeah, also didn't help. The cuffs of my jeans are practically frozen solid and I swear there's frost around the rim of my glasses. And my ears got so cold that my teeth hurt. But I think I have some earmuffs at home that I can do my best to remember for next time. As far as the research itself, well it wasn't at all what I was expecting. Okay, I mean I did see the children with the bulbous heads but their behavior wasn't at all what I'd expected. It was like... okay. So there's some of those kids, just standing in the road. Their clothes are tattered pretty bad. They look not even remotely fazed by the cold. I don't think any of them have shoes or coats. I'm really suspecting something immortal at play here, or maybe already dead. Their eyes... I can't tell if they're glowing or reflecting light from elsewhere, but as creepy as I'll get. And I'd probably be a bit more concerned if it weren't for… oh shit! Of course as soon as I say that they charge the car. I don't feel like being eaten again, thank you very much!

[starts driving] Jeez. I was warned that they may attack and have been rumored to eat people, but I didn't expect so much viciousness. They seemed pretty relaxed at first, mostly watching me from a distance, keeping an eye on me as I explored the woods. But then they started scurrying around more and then suddenly it was dinner time. Origin stories for these kiddos vary depending on the source. Some say the old building out there used to be an asylum where they were tested on. Some say it was an orphanage... where they were tested on. And, and I know that there were a few other possible origins jotted down on the file, but that wasn't really what I was looking for. I was here to see what was there, how they behaved, and to see if I could communicate or whatever. I sent what photos and videos I took to the storage emails so that we can go through them further tomorrow, but I do still have to uh, send over a report tonight. Gods, there's more on the edges of the road, how many are there? It makes my stomach churn. Not looking at them, not, not them staring at me, not even them attacking me, but imagining what they went through. If the whole testing and psychological abuse thing they endured is true, well, it kind of makes you think, huh? The most detailed story I found was that the kids were taken to a doctor who did some unethical testing on them and treated them horribly for so long that the kids, well, staged a coup? Had an uprising? They fought back, killed the doctor, chopped him up and scattered him across his estate. While I'd say I'm generally one to frown on murder... I don't know. Whatever those kids went through must have been atrocious, likely traumatizing as hell. While I doubt I'd have it in me to be as violent in response... who knows? After all that I guess I don't really blame them for lashing back. They wanted to be free! I can't blame them at all for that.

Anyways, uh, I got to work this morning and saw the email with instructions for me to come out here and investigate. I thought I'd be sent with someone but nope! Just me. So I packed up my work bags, let Gia know that I was heading out, said good morning to Jamie, then hopped in the car. Considering they're sending me out driving during the winter where there is these slick roads and black ice you'd think I'd have a car that's better suited for the weather. But this is the car that had apparently been mine before the incident so I guess this is past me's fault for that. To future me, invest in a better car. I don't think I was supposed to be out here this late, but there was just so much to explore. I can always turn the equipment in in the morning, so I'm just heading straight home now. I lost track of time as I walked. At first it was because it was just so peaceful. It felt nice just walking, enjoying the cold weather, all the sights and the sounds of the woods. Normally I'd listen to music or something with earbuds in onto my walks but I can't exactly do that while I'm out investigating. While the walk was nice, once it started snowing and my jeans started to get frozen stiff, it was less relaxing. Then the constant skittering of the melonheads themselves. I hate calling them that, I feel like it's rude. But I have no other names for them or anything.

Oh, that reminds me. That was actually something that got brought up with Dr. Daman as well as Mr. Zimmer, who I'm now also seeing. They both basically called me out for having empathy for the creatures we work with? They both asked why I think it's that I feel for these creatures and I basically told them both the same thing- why not? Isn't it our job to research them to learn more about them? To do that, shouldn't we have some sort of heart for them? Don't you need to love something at least a little bit to hold that much curiosity about it? Though Mr. Zimmer implied that to truly love something you must also hate it to some extent as well. The ties between intense emotions and whatnot. But I... don't think that's true? At least not for me. But maybe that just gives me a good look into how Mr. Zimmer views things. Working with him has been... interesting, to say the least. He, like Dr. Castillo to some extent, is always chipper, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes in the same way that others do. He has a curious glean to them, but they're never soft or comforting. Not mea, but not kind. We've been trying to focus more on regaining memories and he keeps encouraging me that if I just work with him that it shouldn't be hard, as if I haven't been struggling for almost two years to remember anything. But he's adamant that he'll be able to fix me. That lack of progress is my fault. Dr. Daman doesn't really seem to be too fond of him, but she's at least professional enough for the most part. It doesn't feel too good knowing that my therapists don't get along, to the point that even I can tell they don't get along. But there's really not much that I can do about it.

Uh, you know, now that I'm out of the forest it's really pretty out. Folks have started hanging up different colored lights on their properties and storefronts. I love driving past the Chapman orchard. Darius's dads went all out in decorating this year. Darius told me a bit about putting them up. They take it very seriously. But he said that he has a good time with it. He likes being able to take a step back and appreciate his handiwork with getting them hung up in those really pretty designs. Oh, speaking of Darius we did actually manage to talk about what I discussed with uh Holly and Milo? I told Darius about my... gender conundrum, and he was very understanding. He said that he knows exploring gender can be overwhelming and confusing especially when you kind of do it alone. But he said that he's always there to listen or talk or help however he can. I never imagined I'd get such support on this, but it's nice, that's for sure. Also Darius met Grove, they got along pretty well. I wasn't sure at first, considering that Grove spent a lot longer just sniffing Darius than he had Holly. But when Darius came by to teach me how to cook a few recipes, after all the sniffing Grove was very friendly and his usual levels of affectionate towards him. With it getting colder out Darius and Holly discuss possibly sledding here soon? I've never done it before so I... uh, oh, hello?

ANIKA

Dr. Hel? Hi, it's Anika Ralsh. How are you?

JARED

Oh I'm, uh, I'm doing well, yeah. Staying a bit busy with work, you know? How are you doing?

ANIKA

I'm doing great! Pretty excited for winter break. Do you have any plans?

JARED

Well I have some assignments to work on, mostly, uh, nothing in particular. You?

ANIKA

Time with family, for the most part. I also have some books that I've been meaning to get to. But that's not why I'm calling. I actually have an offer to extend to you.

JARED

Oh…

ANIKA

Well when you went and looked into the haunting on school grounds you said that you primarily work in, oh what was it? Environmental science? Well our school is holding its yearly career day after the new year and I thought it'd be nice to have you come in.

JARED

What, what would that entail?

ANIKA

Oh, you know, just telling the kids about what it is you do with the Enclosure. How you help the environment. What you study. Things like that. We always hope to encourage our students to find passions and careers in fields that not only better them, but also the world around them. We have a good amount of kids who would likely be interested in learning more, and who knows? Maybe the Enclosure can look into actually hiring people from Wichton someday instead of paying to bring people in from so far away.

JARED

I mean, I have no say in the hiring process but uh, yeah, sure! How can I say no! Uh, so when is this?

ANIKA

Excellent! I'm so glad to hear that. It's in mid-January, once everyone is back from winter break. Since you're interested, I'll put you down to be one of our speakers and once the schedule is put together I'll send it your way. How do Mondays work with your schedule?

JARED

I mean, give me enough heads up, I can work something out. As... as soon as you've got a day picked just give me a call.

ANIKA

Perfect, thank you so much Dr. Hel, we really appreciate it.

JARED

Ah, no no please, call me Jared, no need to be so formal with me.

ANIKA

Alright, Jared. We will be in touch again here soon. I do have a few things to wrap up here so I should be going, but you have a great day, alright?

JARED

Uh, you too. Talk with you soon, about career day. I'll just need a little time to prepare, you know, something. Thank you so much for reaching out. I... I'm driving, I gotta go. Talk to you later.

JARED (contd.)

Shit. It's always kids! And she knows that something's up, I can tell. That tone? She knows. But what does she know? Does she just know that I'm lying? That I'm not the kind of scientist I say I am? Or does she know more, how could she know more? Why would they even want an Enclosure employee there? It's not a job they should aspire towards, it's shady and frustrating and exhausting and hardly worth the pay. It's suffocating and soul-crushing [audio distortion] and I just don't see why anyone wants…

[normal audio] There's many other, much better jobs in town jobs that have you be part of the town and not just some shady outsider. Teachers, farmers and ranchers, there's so many shops and restaurants who need staff. And the new trade school offers unique learning and unique work. The firefighters are pretty popular with the school kids. And heck, they should have their community crisis assistance workers or their medics come in. Something that's good for the community? My work hardly feels like it does as much good as it could be. I thought I was just researching creatures, containing the ones that pose a real danger to humans. But I've just been poking around haunted schools and empty cornfields, messing around and causing trouble that doesn't need to be there. Hell, I don't even really want to be doing what my job is supposed to be. Learning about the creatures is fascinating, but I don't feel right trapping them. Those who do harm people are either being messed with by folks who are just too curious or could be avoided if people even bothered with precautions. Most people in Wichton seem to already have a sort of... balance within the supernatural creatures that roam around. They don't really acknowledge them all that much but most seem to have a healthy respect for them- leave the creatures be, they'll leave you be.

Well, not always of course, those black-eyed children still knock almost every night. And by Darius and Holly's reactions to it that doesn't seem normal. They've both had the kids come knocking but not regularly. As long as I don't let them in it's fine, I learned my lesson, I'm not doing that again. As long as you don't let them in, you're fine. As long as you're careful and don't go swimming alone in the river, you're fine. As long as you don't go wandering into the melon heads’ turf in the woods, you're fine. As far as I can tell, they're part of the ecosystem. If they want me telling people that I'm an environmental scientist maybe they should just give me enough information on the subject to work with. Everything I've got, I got from my own research anyways. And I think that these supernatural creatures are just as much a part of the natural environment as the birds in the sky, the trees in the forest, those massive fields. Whatever, if Anika wants me there, I'll be there. She's given me no reason to not help out and I'd feel rude to say no. I guess I have to do another deep dive into the local, whatever information I should have if I am in fact an environmental scientist.

Ugh, I honestly hate lying, it doesn't feel good. Then I have to remember the truth and the lies while trying to piece together my own identity. How am I supposed to effectively lie to people if I barely know what the truth is! I'll prepare best I can for career day. Tonight I'll submit my report on my findings from home and hopefully it'll be enough to appease Todd and all of them. I didn't learn much about the origin of the melon head creatures, more their behavior, which is I think what they wanted? Once they get my findings I'm sure they'll be able to decide what they want to do with the creatures... the kids. Human anymore or not, they're kids. I really hope they don't decide to round them up. If they're left alone they're not hurting anybody so it shouldn't be a huge issue? But I just have... I don't know, a bad feeling? Whatever, I'm heading home now. I'm freezing, especially since the car still hasn't properly heated up yet. I'll get home and have something to eat and something hot to drink before sending everything over. Then a hot shower, and maybe cuddle up with Grove. I have a few days off coming up, I think, but we'll see if I actually get them off. If so, as I said, I plan to spend the afternoon with Holly and Darius here soon. Darius learned I'd never gone sledding so he and Holly are determined to take me. They've gotten close recently, it's nice. The land's pretty flat around here but I think they have little tricks to make sledding hills? I'm excited. It's gonna be nice to just spend time with them, not worry about work. But we'll see if that happens.

I'm just tired, yeah I had a vacation not too long ago but I'm just tired all over again. I wake up, tired. I stay tired almost all day. And then at night, I don't know, I feel a little more energized at night, but still tired. I can never keep my sleep schedule straight, no matter how hard I try. I talked to Dr. Rahal about it, he thinks it's likely stress, and once again, medicine hasn't helped. We tried melatonin or whatever, didn't help. He prescribed me something stronger but didn't help much. He's worried about going much stronger because then it's like getting into the stuff that should be professionally administered territory. And something about the idea of someone else having the power to just knock me out like that? I felt sick. So I just told Dr. Rahal l I'd try some sleepy time tea or whatever, maybe move my workouts to be closer to bedtime so I can wear myself out? I don't know. But for now, eyes on the road. I'm almost entirely through town and want to make sure I have full focus on the roads that they weren't able to clear off. Things get slick. So this is, um, this is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. The voice of Anika Ralsh is Chijioke B. Williams. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on social media for updates. If you’ve been enjoying us, please consider leaving a rating, review or comment, wherever you tune in. You can also support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, and Joyce.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

6 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 7 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 7: Shifts

INTRO

JARED

So today I'm actually recording this from the lab I've had the room to myself for hours, just as it's been for a while now. Ever since my little vacation I've had more and more lab time to myself. It's nice? But also I just feel more lonely. I can play my music or whatever, but I do almost miss Dr. Castillo's presence. I guess I'd just gotten used to it no matter how weird it is at times. But having Grove around has helped immensely with the loneliness at home, at least. He's super cuddly, which I never expected from a literal hellhound. But Milo did mention the possibility of me being... touch starved? Which might also explain why the attention just feels so weird. I had never even heard of that before. I mean Dr. Daman has never brought it up. But again knowing that most hellhounds are not at all the cuddly sort... oh well, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. [door creaks open] Oh, uh, hey Jamie!

JAMIE

(to herself) Alright, oh shit! (to Jared) Um, hey! Sorry, I thought this lab would be empty.

JARED

I mean I normally would be out on the field at this time, but it's a bit too cold today. Can I help you with something?

JAMIE

Nah, nah. To be honest, I kind of steal your office to nap during my break. This weather is killer on my body and I'm just, well, I'm tired.

JARED

Well if you need a nap, I can keep quiet? Or I mean, I can even duck out if you'd prefer, I don't want to stop you from getting any rest if you need it.

JAMIE

(small laugh) No no no no no, that's, that's fine. I'm... I'll just go grab a cup of coffee. You want a cup? I can grab one for ya, no problem.

JARED

Uh yeah, yeah, that'd be nice actually!

JAMIE

How do you take it?

JARED

Just grab a handful of sugar and some things of creamer. I like it pretty sweet.

JAMIE

You got it. We get crap coffee anyways. I'll be back.

JARED

[door closes] Thanks! That's Dr. Everett, though she never really lets me call her that. She's great. We've talked a few times in the hall mostly. Sometimes we catch each other in the elevator or end up chatting at the coffee machine. We've never hung out outside of work, though. I mean, hell, the only co-worker I've ever hung out with is Milo. We, we didn't hang out much when we were lab partners, but we started hanging out more recently. I don't know if I'd prefer to have them as a lab partner again or what we have now. It's nice to have, I don't know, friends? Anyways, the weather's getting colder so we've been working inside more. Yeah we bundle up and go out sometimes, but not as much as we were a month or so ago. I've mostly been working with Dr. Castillo to go over old recordings that we gathered. With us being lab partners we typically are also project partners, though not exclusively. It seems like recently she's been assigned to a project that's more in line with what she used to be doing. Something far less dangerous, which she seems to be very happy about. Whatever it is, it's keeping her out of the lab a good amount. So here I am, alone, as usual.

After I got back from my little vacation I went to see Dr. Daman for another appointment. She asked what I got up to so I told her about taking in a dog. I didn't tell her about how Grove isn't, you know, like most dogs, but I told her how nice it is to have Grove around. I mean, heck, that dog knows when I'm waking up from a nightmare and is always by my side! I thought that she'd be happy about it! But she seemed, I don't know, disappointed? She asked if I thought that I really needed to keep a dog around just to manage. Her tone was concerned, but her words? I don't know, it just… it made me feel bad about having Grove around. Made me feel bad for finding him so comforting. I told her I guess not, but it does really help. I've also gotten pretty attached to Grove. It's just nice to have him around even when I'm not in a panic or whatever. She gave a soft sigh and then just moved on, as if she wasn't happy about my answer. Even though she's always taking so many notes I don't know how much of me she really remembers. Like she doesn't really mention my friends by name, ever. I say names like Holly or Darius, or I mention Laura and Ester, and I always have to re-explain who they are. Holly, you know, the person from the snipe hunt? Or Darius, you know, the guy that I hung out with on his birthday? And she just takes more notes. I hardly feel like I'm getting much from her anymore. She asked me about the audio journal again and actually seemed pretty happy that I'm still taking her advice. And listen, I get it, I get it, it feels really good to know that someone is taking your professional advice, and doing this really does help. But I don't like how she presses on it. I mean, I almost want to stop doing this out of sheer spite sometimes.

After a bit of talking Dr. Daman mentioned that there's going to be a change in our sessions. My stomach sank. She said that I need to come in more frequently which was weird considering the fact that I feel like I'm doing fine! In fact, I feel like I'm doing better! But she's insisted that I need more help in this whole remembering thing. Help that she alone can't provide, apparently. I don't know, maybe she could have provided the help if she tried to actively help me remember, instead of just leaving me to remember naturally. So now there's going to be another person getting involved. I haven't met him yet, I meet him my next session. Apparently he's helped patients who have received injuries that have caused memory issues in the past. I wanted to ask why I didn't just see him from the get-go, but whatever. Next session, I am meeting a Mr. Liam Zimmer. Not a doctor, like most of the people around here end up being. He's a psychologist though, and according to Daman, he's a damn good one. Though those weren't her exact words, of course. She spoke highly of his abilities, though by her tone I can't tell how she personally feels about Mr. Zimmer. She's not as blatant in her cheerful disliking of things as Dr. Castillo is. Mr. Zimmer will focus on my amnesia, Dr. Daman will work on my other day-to-day evaluations, and Dr. Rahal is still my general physician for these headaches and whatever else happens.

Speaking of headaches, they've kinda come back again. Not as fiercely as before, more annoying than anything else really. Not debilitating by any means, but my gods! Are they a nuisance. Amir is trying to help me find other methods of dealing with them since medicine doesn't really work. Started drinking more water, which I'm objectively just bad at drinking enough water in general. I also have started some light workouts like twice a week, nothing too strenuous, just enough to get the blood pumping. It kind of sucks but I know it'll get easier over time. Amir said that all of my vitals are normal which is definitely good, but like, I don't know. Still a bit annoying sometimes that I can't look over my own records. I think next time I get a scan done, I'm going to ask to see it. I don't think that he's the kind of person to keep things from his own patients, so I'm sure he'll show me if I just ask.

Not gonna lie I looked up Mr. Zimmer in the work database. After trying to look into Dr. Kelder, I've gotten a bit curious to look and see what I can find about others. And if this guy is going to be helping me do a deep dive into my own brain, yeah I want to know about him. It says he's been with the Enclosure for a few years, mostly working in rehabilitation. But that doesn't explain why they didn't have me see him sooner. Like if he's literally in the rehabilitation program. What the hell have they been considering my case, huh? According to his records there was a period of time a couple of years ago that he was involved in some highly guarded cases. Not the general, you know, “can't discuss my patient’s work file” thing, but I mean high level clearance, password guarded. The Enclosure seems to really shuffle people around a lot. A lot of his methods, by what I could find, seemed to be experimental.

So when I say how unsure I am about all this I cannot emphasize how much I'm not exactly feeling this one. I hate sudden change, and this is kind of a big deal! They didn't even ask if I wanted this, they just told me that this is how it was going to be. Not even Dr. Daman seems too thrilled but considering how often she seems huffy with me that might just be her usual state. She's rarely pleased with any progress I make. She used to at least seem curious but nowadays she's more and more sensitive to me developing my own coping mechanisms outside of what she suggests. And I don't know, it just doesn't feel very good. And it's not like that I can find another therapist anyways. I mean Wichton has a fairly small but a very good network of counselors and social workers, but not any that I could see about my specific needs. To say I need specialists is putting it lightly. I feel like anyone outside of the Enclosure just wouldn't be able to help. I mean, if they are from outside of the Enclosure I can't tell them anything. I wouldn't be able to explain what I do at work. I can't go into my personal relationships are being affected by these things, the headaches, the bad dreams, the not remembering anything! So Dr. Daman and Mr. Zimmer it is.

But I'm also doing more at home to try and work on that stress which is actually really helping. Again Grove has been a huge help, he always seems to know when I need him the most and he'll pull me back into the moment. It's nice! And I've been spending some time with Holly, Darius, and some other folks in town. I've gotten this weekly routine of stopping by Mrs. Weddington's bakery to pick up some sweets and also at least once a week stopping by the Chronicle Inn for a meal to see Laura and Ester. I'm starting with the people and places that I'm most comfortable before I start branching out. Though I'll admit, whenever I go to the Chronicle Inn I can't help but consider booking myself a room again and seeing if I could speak with the Blue Lady. I mean, at least to get her name, at least to ask more questions. Should I get on that? I mean, no time like the present.

I'm also working to not lose myself to fixations, uh, trying to balance work-related studies and well, I guess studies of myself. Balancing all that out with relaxing things. I got another crossword book from Christine. I have no idea where she keeps getting them but they're great, honestly. It's been a bit harder to focus on them recently but I am going to try. I've tried cooking more, but I'm not really good at it. As Holly would say, I somehow burn water. But Darius has offered to come by and teach me some recipes so we're gonna hang out here soon so that he can help me learn some basic dishes. And considering that Holly wasn't too phased by the children knocking at the door, in fact they said it was cool, it makes me feel a little better at the idea of Darius actually spending some time over at my place. Grove is very protective of me, but he got along very well with Holly and doesn't seem to have much issue with people when I'm walking him. I'm pretty sure that it won't be an issue when Darius comes by. I warned him, but he seems excited to meet Grove, so we'll see how that goes. I feel like it'll go well.

[papers rustling] I think here soon, I have to go back out onto the field though. Not today, but I'm expecting within the next few weeks. A file that I have here is something about some kids wandering the woods not too terribly far away from here so I think I'll be going out to investigate that soon. The file says something here about them being the ghosts of victims of some unethical doctor that tested on children suffering from a hydrocephalus or water in the brain. An old haunted mansion with a wide range of things, but the most notable are the lingering spirits of those kids. Or it may actually be the kids themselves? Immortal or transformed into whatever it may be. So I'm probably gonna be going out and taking a look at that here soon. But I'm not gonna worry about it until I get that official email telling me to head out.

Well, uh, a new therapist, potential lead… uh, well my week other than that was great. I didn't really record much after I took Grove in. I hung out with Holly. We watched a few weird movies, played some video games together. They brought over their own gaming system and we just hooked it up to my TV. It was a lot of fun, and they got along very well with Grove. We did talk a bit about the whole gendered language issue. I started it by telling them about my whole situation with naming Grove, and it kind of just naturally led to the broader discussion of it. I also brought it up with Milo a little while later and both Holly and Milo asked if I'm non-binary. I wasn't expecting that question. I also wasn't expecting how right it would feel when I looked into it. Like, I don't mind people calling me sir or he all that much, but I just don't feel like the man that they see me as. Holly asked if I wanted to try they/them pronouns instead. But the pronouns aren't really what matters that much. I mean, as long as the person is addressing me in a way that I find respectful I don't really care much about pronouns. Milo made a similar offer, saying that if I ever wanted to try a new name or different pronouns to just let them know. I like my name, it's something that I have that's me, the only real tie that I have to my past, you know? And the pronouns thing? We'll see. Haven't talked to Dr. Daman about it yet. I really don't know if she'll care either way, in the dismissive way, not the accepting way. I have a feeling that Dr. Rahal would be accepting, he seems like the sort of type, the sort of person that would be accepting on this sort of thing. I might talk to Darius about it too. I don't know, I just have a feeling that he'd understand. Or at least be willing to listen. We've been starting to really open up to each other more about stuff, getting more personal. With that said I really don't know how much longer I can keep him entirely in the dark about my whole amnesia thing. He's smart, he's definitely gotta notice that I don't talk about my past. I'm surprised that he doesn't find me boring as hell to be completely honest. I mean, I'm glad he doesn't, I'm glad he likes to hang out.

Speaking of ties to the past last time that I was at the Chronicle Inn to pick up more dog treats for Grove, because I may or may not give him more treats than would be healthy for a normal dog. Spoiled rotten. I caught a glimpse of the inn's guest book, names dated back many years, and it was also strange to look over my own entry. I almost hadn't written in it but Ester reminded me on my way out a while ago to fill it out. And how could I say no? It got me thinking, like, should I go back? The Blue Lady insisted that she knew me and that must mean that she knows more about this whole situation. Since my headaches have been a lot better it might be a good time to go check in again and see what I can, you know, figure out from her. Figure out what she knows in a way that wouldn't leave me just with more questions like last time. Hell, maybe I could call work and see if they want to come fix some of my housing again. I'm sure Ester and Laura wouldn't mind if I brought Grove. I mean he may be huge but he's a really well-behaved softy most of the time. He does wander off at night, likely to do general hellhound things, but he hasn't caused much trouble. At least that's nothing that's gotten back to me. Well, I'll look into that.

I'm also pretty excited for time with Darius, I don't know if he'll stay the night like Holly did. My couch is pretty cozy, I mean I doze off on it all the time. But with the knocking at night and everything else, I don't... I'm worried I'd scare him off. I wasn't too worried about scaring Holly off with just, um, how they generally are. But I don't know how Darius would be about it. Guess all that I can do is just give him an heads up and let him decide if he wants to chance it. I mean, Holly's been trying to get Darius and I'd hang out more for whatever reason. [phone buzzes] Oh, alright, time to start getting ready for lunch. Um, I guess I might as well wrap up. This is Dr.- oh uh…

JAMIE

You won't believe the gossip I've got! I had a run-in with Todd in the elevator.

JARED

Wow, quickest way to have your day ruined! What did he say?

JAMIE

(small laugh) Well, he saw I wasn't using the wheelchair today, right? So I got all cocky and asked if my legs were finally working today. Even if I wasn't in so much pain, I wouldn't want to deal with that shit. So I asked him when his brain would finally start working. He looked like he was gonna have a conniption. But what's he gonna do, fire one of his most experienced people? Okay!

JARED

I would give my whole paycheck to be there next time you pull that. I would, god, I wish that I could say stuff like that to him.

JAMIE

Anyway, I was thinking of taking my lunch soon. You wanna pick up something in town? I could use the company.

JARED

Oh that that sounds great, yeah! You've been to the Royal Cow? They've got some pretty good food but their desserts are the best. Here, let me just wrap up here and um, this is Dr. Jared Hel signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Voice of Jamie Everett is Jenny O’Sullivan. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on social media for updates. You can support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, and Joyce.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts #i will get 8 and 9 done sometime this week!

6 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 6 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 6: PTO

INTRO

JARED

Guess who got vacation? That's right, me. After days of online research and two times poking around the local school, I finally got that time off. I had to pester Todd about it for a while, but I got it. He didn't even call or email me about it, his secretary did. We'll just assume that he was uh just “too busy” to get around to telling me. So guess what I did today? Nothing. And yesterday? Oh, a whole load of nothing. And what do I have planned for tomorrow?More glorious nothing. I got a whole week off and I plan to spend at least at least most of it relaxing at home. I don't even want to change out of my PJs. After I shower, I'll just put on other PJs! No, not shower, I'll take baths! I got homemade bubble baths from the Chronicle Inn shop recently that I've been waiting to use. Holly texted me earlier which was nice. I haven't really talked to them much, at least not in a while. Originally they were just asking if I planned to go out to a an upcoming bonfire, before it gets too cold to really do much outside. And it was really nice to just tell them the full honest truth, that I'd been given a week off of work and I really didn't feel like going out and doing anything. It, just the idea of staying home and doing basically zilch sounds amazing. They then asked if they could call, which was equally nice as it was nerve-wracking. Nice because I liked the heads up for a call, but anxiety-inducing because I had no idea why they wanted to call, I said sure though, I had no reason not to. I think we talked for like an hour, just about whatever. As it normally goes with them. We went from one topic to another really quickly. It's nice to have someone that I can just flow from one topic to another with without having to explain my thought process. They just follow suit. Or, more often, take the lead in the leaps.

They told me about their job as a volunteer at the local school. Unlike me, they get along great with kids, always have. Hence why they worked the snipe hunt a little while ago. They heard about me looking into the haunting a few weeks ago, so I told them a bit about it, excluding the whole Enclosure business card thing. I also mentioned that I was finally given some paid time off work and they asked if we wanted to hang out. So uh, guess in a few days I'm having a movie night with Holly. They're going to show me some of their favorites, things I've never seen. One's called The Room? Apparently it's so bad that it's somehow good. I guess we're watching that later this week, and they're going to introduce me to some video games that they like. After we made plans for movie night I heated myself up some lunch and settled down in front of the TV. After lunch and a few episodes of whatever show was playing I decided to just sit and check in a little bit, do a little recording.

So my research with the old business card led me to a Dr. Severin Kelder at the Enclosure, right? Well when I looked further into him at work, I actually found out that he passed away like 20 or 30 years ago. Apparently he was working on some top secret project that I couldn't find the details on, but I could find more recent projects that reference Dr. Kelder’s work. So whatever it was that he learned or created, people are still using it in their studies of the Enclosure. It's for branches and projects that I don't have access to so I kept getting asked for passwords that I don't have. I… I could ask Dr. Loma- Milo. Promised them I'd be more casual with them now. I could ask Milo if they know anything. I mean even though we aren't lab partners anymore we're still friends. I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping out. Maybe I could ask Jamie? But she and I aren't really close. Would that be weird? And I really doubt that Dr. Castillo would be at all interested in really helping, she doesn't really want to talk about anything outside of our current projects. Not as chatty. I have a therapy session with Dr. Daman right after I get back from vacation, but I have no clue if I want to talk to her about this. She'd probably call my fixation on it unhealthy or whatever, but I need to get to the bottom of whatever this is. And that smell…

When my brain fixates on things it's really hard to just think or even talk about anything else. It's as if my brain has focused in so hard that nothing else exists, and nothing else matters, unless something else sweeps in and snaps me out of it. It could be really helpful when my brain decides to fixate on work and things I need to do, but it can be so infuriating when it... I focus on the song I heard on the radio, or a book that I read when I'm trying to get work done. I think Dr. Daman has been getting frustrated with my lack of progress, but what am I supposed to do? I'm not having much luck with remembering, but, hey! I'm using the audio journal more regularly, so that's good. It does feel like it's helping. Even if I'm not remembering much about myself at least, I'm learning about myself? And Milo said that's what's most important, more important than remembering. Because they said that things have inevitably changed, as is human nature. I still want to remember though! And I feel like Milo understands that better than Dr. Daman. But I guess it's a good thing that I'm learning about myself. I mean if nothing else I'm not as chronically uncomfortable as I used to be. Even learning these little things. I think I'll talk more to Holly when we hang out though. There's things that I think they may be able to help me with. I'd like to talk to Darius but I don't know if, um…

[scratching sounds] Hold on, there's something at my door. [door opens, birds chirping] Oh, hey buddy! Uh, no collar, huh? Oh, oh. I guess you're coming in... excuse me. [door closes] Okay, so there's a dog. A dog in my house. A black lab? No, its features are a bit too pointed. Almost like a shepherd of some kind. It's docile, and has just laid by my feet. There's no collar, and I've never seen this dog before. So I don't think he's from around here. His eyes are a little strange. I'll admit, I've never had a dog just make itself at home in my house before. Uh… who's a good boy? Huh, are you even a boy? That's a weird assumption for me to make. Considering that you're just a dog who basically knocked, then let yourself in. Either way, the dog is super sweet. Do you have a name? Um, Grove. How does that sound? You look like a Grove. So I guess I have a dog. Unless someone claims him... her... them? Uh...

Don't look at me like that! Gendered language annoys me, okay? That's why I like talking to Holly and Milo so much, they both really don't conform to what society puts on them and they seem to be more aware of other ways that things can be. Ways that the Enclosure didn't teach me, that's for sure. I mean why do people keep saying I'm “one of the guys”? I like being included, yeah, but I don't know... I don't.. just don't see myself as “one of the guys”. It carries implications. I don't mind being called sir or whatever, but it's... Ahem. I'm talking gender. With a dog. No offense. Oh shoot, what do I feed you? Should I call around and see if anyone's looking for their dog? What do you want to eat? I need to look into how to take care of a dog! Would Darius know how? Okay, hold on, gotta make some calls. I might have to change out of my PJs and run some errands. I'll be back soon.

JARED (contd.)

Okay, back. So, Grove hung out in my yard the entire time I was gone. He actually responded well when I called him boy, so we're gonna go with that. He greeted me with a wagging tail and then followed me back inside. He's a big dog, like the top of his head goes to about my upper hip. I got a range of things- wet dog food, dry dog food, treats, toys, the biggest dog bed they had, and honestly a bunch of stuff. I had to make multiple trips to bring it all in. I mean considering I don't know if I'm keeping this dog maybe it was a bit overkill. But having him around feels nice. It feels right. I did text Holly to make sure that they're not allergic to dogs or anything since it seems that I'm taking in a dog, at least for the time being. And apparently they love dogs, so that's, that's good. That's good. Uh, I put the dog bed near my bed and put out a bowl of dog food. But he doesn't really seem too interested in the wet or dry dog food. He seems to like the homemade treats though. I remembered that Ester sold them, so I made sure to make a second stop and stop by the Chronicle Inn to pick up some of those dog treats. But Grove doesn't seem at all interested in the food, but the fact that he likes the treats indicates that he does have an appetite. What do you want to eat, buddy? Listen I can't just feed you dog treats, that can't be healthy.

[phone buzzing] Ugh, why is he calling me? I'm on vacation… [Grove barks] Oh… Grove? It's okay, it's just my phone. I.. oh shit! [Grove starts growling] Grove calm down, relax? I'm not, I'm not answering it, I'm not… [Jared falls over] Oh, Grove, you don’t fit in my lap! [Grove pants] You’re much… you’re much too big. Down! Back down on the floor, please! We both won’t fit in this chair. [Grove snarls] Hey… hey not the key! Leave the key alone, the key stays on. Oh, uh… [Grove barks] Grove, Grove, down! Oh gods. Grove, down, back down. [Grove’s barking gets softer] Good boy… okay… seems I. Okay. [Grove continues making soft sounds] So, I think I know why Grove wouldn't eat the dry dog food but would eat the treats. Meat, he needs meat. That would explain the eyes earlier, and why he lingered outside of my house of all places, without a collar.

Um, oh shit! [Grove starts barking loudly, running. Door closes] Oh, I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was the phone vibrating that set him off or what. [Grove continues to bark at a distance] He was fine until he sniffed the key! He's way too big to be getting in my lap and then when he started sniffing the key around my neck and then, then he got mad. He started snarling. Smoke came out of his mouth and his eyes. His eyes started to glow red, and for the briefest moment I smelled putrid rotting flesh. The smell of death. [Grove continues to bark and snarl loudly] Seems that my new buddy is a hellhound. I thought he was going to attack me, he sure seemed like it, went from my throat. [Grove stops barking, starts whining] But now, he's not even scratching at the door anymore. He's whining. He sounds so sad!

Grove, are you done chasing me? I'd really rather not die again so soon, okay? So you're gonna relax, right? [Grove whimpers, door opens, Grove starts sniffing happily] Good boy, good boy. No biting, no jumping. [Grove quiets down] How about we sit? That's a good boy. You… you know sit! Good. He's okay. He's calm now, leaning into my touch and everything. No more smoke. His teeth are more of a... mortal dog-shaped size again? His eyes aren't glowing anymore. Jeez, I've got no idea why he was set off so badly by my necklace. I mean, yeah, I assume that the key has magical properties which is how it keeps my brain in check, but I don't know why that would have set him off. It's okay buddy, not gonna hurt you. It helps me. Let's get you some food. Okay so, we're gonna try some meat. I don't know if I have it... I don't really have much that's raw, only a little bit that I got for a casserole that I plan to try and cook, but I can go get more meat, you gotta eat I don't mind putting off cooking. [doors open and close, sounds of dog bowl being placed, Grove eating] Okay yeah so, uh, raw meat is what he eats.

Why is a hellhound so far from the cemetery out in the middle of the day like this? There's all sorts of creatures that come by my house all the time but this one is a bit strange. I mean the black eyed children and the not-deer, yeah, those make a bit more sense. They're generally wanderers and I do live by the roads and by the forest. But a hellhound? Y’all normally linger near cemeteries and churches, right? And I don't live near a church or a cemetery. The weirdest thing is that when he's not trying to bite my neck out, his presence is really soothing. I don't know, it's like he belongs here. As long as you ignore the whole key thing he's really lax with me, and I've never seen a hellhound act so domesticated. Especially considering how they normally are with people. But hey, if nothing else at least this means that you probably don't have someone looking for you. So I guess it wasn't too much of an issue that the clerk at the store talked me into buying all of this stuff for you. Hey, don't, don't… don't look at me like that, I panicked. I've never taken care of a dog before, and you're, you're a big dog! Sharing the bed with you would be like sharing a bed with a whole other person, and I can't just make you sleep on the hard floor so I got you the bed! I guess I didn't need to get all of that dog food especially since you won't even eat any of it. Ugh, whatever. Okay, we'll make this work.

I mean even if disguised as a normal, albeit big dog, it's weird that he's out and about during the day. I mean the black-eyed children yeah, now and then come out during the day, not-dear, yeah they're not really restricted to either time of day, but hellhounds? I guess I gotta do some more research, huh? Okay. Well, hey, if nothing else at least I have the resources to look into how to take care of a hellhound. That's not true. I have the information on what hellhounds are, where they are, what they do. How to restrain them. But I don't have the information on how to take care of them. They normally take good care of themselves. I guess you're gonna teach me something, huh? Well we'll learn together. If nothing else it'll be nice to have someone else here, someone that I am not required to talk to if I don't want to. Someone that we can just, share space. It'll be nice to not be alone. I'm gonna probably have some ice cream and watch a movie this evening. Here soon I'll be doing the movie night with Holly, which is nice. And oh god, okay, I didn't tell Holly about the whole children knocking on my door thing. I guess I'm gonna have to give ‘em a heads up of some kind. “Hey, just a warning, I have ghost children that knock on my door! Every night! Hope you sleep deep!” Whatever, I'll let them know, and I'm sure they've heard of weirder. We'll see. So much for doing nothing. But at least it's not work! Maybe I'll message Darius and see what he's up to this evening. I'm gonna go eat that ice cream and watch a movie first. So this is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off. Come on, come on buddy!

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates. You can support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan F., Perry B., Devin W., Becky T., Nico A., and Joyce B.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

6 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 5 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 5: Perfect Attendance

INTRO

TODD

Hey Jared, it's Dr. Carmen. Listen, I know you asked to cash in on some of that paid time off you've got, but I wanted to let you know that I couldn't fulfill your request quite yet. There's one little thing I need you to look into for me first. There's some circulating rumors of a former teacher causing some trouble at the local school. I say former because she's been dead for about a hundred years or so. I don't know the exact details yet besides what Dr. Rahal heard- footprints with no source, flying clocks, startled janitors- you know the drill. So I need you to go and investigate. Since you're just so good with those little kiddos that come by your place at night, I figured you'd be even better with some actual kids. And since you've been doing a little personal community outreach, why not put that to use? Now go see what you can figure out and report back to me, then we can discuss that vacation time of yours. Oh, also you're welcome for the plumbing fixture, by the way. I know you've been too busy to stop by with a proper thanks, but I'm just glad we could get that all fixed up for you. Well, I'll keep an eye out for your report by the end of the week. See you around.

JARED

“Oh you're welcome for the plumbing fixture, by the way.” Oh, geez Louise, I literally never asked them to fix my plumbing. I called it- now he's gonna hold that over my head for gods-know-how long. I know that some folks say that being motivated by spite ain't the best way to live but it's a real hell of a motivator. I don't plan to delete this voicemail till I get that chat about time off because if I get brushed out about that PTO again after everything, I'm going to remind them that he guaranteed me a talk about it. I mean he normally sends me out over the dangerous stuff, but this was just tedious. More like Todd just wanted to send me out on an errand and just threw me out over the first thing that he could. I mean, considering that I drowned a few weeks ago, this was expected to be a bit of a piece of cake. While it wasn't life-threatening, it was annoying. And draining.

So today, I just so happened to bump into the principal of the local school. I know that she goes to the Chronicle Inn’s country store a lot, especially during her lunch breaks. So I went in the afternoon and spent some time there talking with Ester and Laura as I waited for her to arrive. Ester was wearing a really lovely dress and a floral apron, the pale pink accented her gray hair really nicely. And Laura was already in her denim overalls and plaid flannel. Apparently she was wanting to get some woodworking done in her workshop, but then she decided to stay in and help Ester out with managing the shop for the afternoon rush, you know, since all the folks started pouring in on their lunch breaks. And that afternoon rush was what I'd waited for because that's when Mrs. Anika Ralsh showed up. We haven't really ever talked much, just enough to get to know each other's names and general identities. So when she saw me she greeted me with a small smile and a wave. She asked how I'd been doing, you know, what I'd been up to, the usual. I had planned on how I was going to broach the subject of the haunting in the school considering that it's not exactly something that just, uh, comes up naturally in conversation. I needed to find some inconspicuous way to shift focus to, to that topic in a way that wouldn't trigger too many red flags. But then she dropped the bombshell on me!

She said that she'd spoken to Darius and that he mentioned that I had some curiosity with the supernatural, which was weird because I remember mentioning that passively to him like once when I panicked when he asked me what I do for a living. And that was a while ago. I'm shocked that he remembered. So I basically told her what I told him. Yeah, I'm a scientist who studies natural phenomena around here but I also have an interest in supernatural phenomena but that's more of a hobby. Which is a boldface lie, but far more acceptable than the truth. The script in my head of how the conversation would go was now entirely thrown off which did, in all honesty, throw me completely off my rhythm. But she actually got far more to the point than I would have planned to so I guess it worked for the best.

Anika said that she hadn't been sure who to reach out to about this, but when Darius had mentioned me she thought it'd be worth a shot to ask me to look into things. That there's a ghost of a deceased teacher that keeps stirring up trouble at the local school. It was a former teacher who taught fifth graders back in like the 80s or something like that. She taught up until the day she died, and she's rumored to still linger around. But she's been getting more disruptive than before and it's getting a bit out of hand. So, Anika asked me if I knew a way to get this ghost to calm down, but to not get rid of her. Apparently this Mrs. Alice Caller has been a part of the school community for so long that even if she scares or startles people sometimes they don't really want her gone. She startles the staff more than anything, the teachers and all that. But the students seem to get a kick out of it. Every building has their character after all, that's what Anika said. And I guess you could consider a haunting to be a splash of character.

Anyways, so yeah, after chatting for a bit and pretending that I had my knowledge of ghosts and hauntings due to at-home research and not my nine to five, even if it's more of a six to five. I told her I could investigate, but I'd probably want to do it when there weren't, you know, students in the halls? She'd asked if I was free literally that evening and considering Todd was basically holding my paid time off as hostage I said of course. I mean the sooner I got it done the sooner I could have some sort of vacation. As preemptive compensation, she bought me lunch which was really nice and told me to come by school after I finished eating. She took her food to go, but I stayed and ate there at the end and chatted with Ester and Laura a bit more. I also texted Darius and asked if he told Anika about my supernatural interests. He said yes and apologized if he shouldn't have told her but I said that it was fine, that I was mostly surprised that he'd remembered. I'd mentioned it a while back and we really don't ever talk about it, so the fact that he remembered... it was sweet. I mean especially considering I let him do most of the talking in conversation. He has a nice voice and tells really nice stories. I was flattered more than anything.

After I ate and played some mindless puzzle games on my phone I headed out towards the school. If I'd really wanted to I could have walked but I had driven to the end from my house anyways and had no reason to just leave my car behind. I got there a little before the last class ended and just went to the front office. After some light chit chat, I was given a tour. It was one floor, maybe like 13 classrooms in total. Not including the small computer lab, the gym, the restrooms or closets. I saw teachers wrapping up classes and students getting ready to head home. Nothing seemed off during the first walk through. She asked me when I got into tracking the supernatural and I told her about two years ago. Not a lie, I guess. She asked what I did for the Enclosure. “We don't really know what it is you all do, I guess we're just curious,” is what she'd said. I felt like she was reading every movement and microexpression in response to whatever my answer would be. I kind of panicked. I told her that I just keep tabs on the natural anomalies, animal behavior primarily. I told her I'm involved in monitoring wildlife just to make sure that the ecosystem is in balance and stuff like that. Then I quickly changed the topic because I know jack diddley about biology beyond the basics.

I got to talking to Anika about what's been happening, which was what Todd had said and then some. Flying clocks, footprints, and startled staff. But there were also a few other things as well. Things apparently turn on and off by themselves, like the janitor's vacuums or the lights. One time the cleaning staff heard some stuff moving around in an empty room and then when they investigated the room, apparently a bunch of desks got moved around and flipped over. Seems that this Mrs. Caller has also been knocking over projectors and has made things go missing, especially in the old classroom where she taught. After Anika showed me around the whole school, uh, greeting kids as classes let out, which, let me tell you, made me incredibly uncomfortable. Again, I'm not good with kids, so I just kind of gave awkward waves and half smiles to them. Anyways, after she showed me around and led me back to where Mrs. Caller's former classroom was, she asked if I needed anything before she'd go back to work and leave me to meander. Right before she walked away though she asked if I had any tools for the ghost hunting. I hate calling it that. I'm not hunting the ghosts or anything, I'm more just trying to communicate, check in and see what's going on. They don't always want to talk and I definitely respect that. I mean, heck, there's times I sure don't want to talk to people. I told her I mostly wanted to check out the place first. I would bring in my equipment from my car once all the students were gone. She asked if I needed to wait till night time and I told her that that's just a rumor. Paranormal investigations often happen at night because it's quieter from interruptions and easier to use the night vision. But if the ghost has been haunting during the day then it makes sense to investigate during the day as well.

So we walked back to the front door. She went into what I guess is her office and I went and grabbed my kit that I keep in my trunk. It's got an EMF sensor, a voice recorder, which is basically just a fancier version of what I use for these journal entries. An infrared thermometer, high power camera, other nifty little tools. Mostly the basics, they don't give me the heavy duty kit for assignments like these, of course. I made my way back to Mrs. Caller's former classroom and gave passing greetings to everyone that I passed and made eye contact with. Just a little smile and wave, asking how are you, as neither party planned for an extensive conversation. I got over there and introduced myself as I set up the equipment. I definitely felt something. I wasn't sure if it was her or not but with the way that it felt, well I felt more comfortable. It felt more familiar. So I told her my name, that I was there just to communicate and see if I could help calm her down at all. I explained what I was setting up and what all it would do. I felt my muscles relax as I just felt far more comfortable in this situation than being surrounded by students while talking to Anika. Nothing against Anika, I felt quite comfortable talking to her back at the restaurant. I think it was just the whole being surrounded by people thing. So I got everything set up and started to poke around the classroom. I started asking general questions, ones that I'm encouraged to ask based on protocol. What do you want, how did you die, why are you here? And so on. I hate those questions. What makes anyone think that those spirits would want to answer them anyway?

So after I got very little response I sat down on top of one of the desks crisscross applesauce, put the equipment down and just chatted. I asked how she was feeling. I apologized if it was bothersome being pestered with questions especially if she'd been primarily been being ignored, except for people prying. I asked why she lingered in her former classroom, like why this place? That was when a small frame holding up what looked like an obituary caught my attention, a hung up above the door, so I asked her about it. I heard some beeps from my pile of tools but I didn't need to pick it up. I knew that particular beeping. It wasn't an auditory reception, it was an energy spike. And I could feel the shift in… the atmosphere? The mood of the room? At first I just felt like I was being watched, but then I felt like it was more, um, that I was encroaching in someone else's living space. That I was somewhere that I shouldn't be or doing something that I shouldn't be doing. I slid myself off the desk and went to start gathering my supplies, but then the feeling went away. Seems like she'd just been upset that I was sitting with my feet up on the desk like that. So I muttered an apology and just made my way over towards the door to take a closer look at the obituary. It felt like something was practically breathing down the back of my neck. Not literally, but, I don't know. I could just feel it there. I turned around slowly and saw, unsurprisingly, nothing. But I knew in my gut that she was right there.

Then what scared me more than anything was that the classroom door flew open behind me. Not enough to slam on the wall or anything, but enough to make a sound. It was just some student who apparently left her notebook behind her something. She couldn't have been more than, what ,13? She was sweet, asked what I was doing back there. I told her a half truth, which is pretty much just my life at this point. I told her I was investigating on behalf of Mrs. Ralsh, which in my opinion is not a lie, just not the whole truth. She then went on to tell me about an experience that her dad had last year. Apparently her dad is one of the school janitors that had an incident early one morning when he'd come to clean up the place during the weekend. He was helping wax the floors in the halls by the back door, and at some point he turned to see footprints in the wax finishing on the tile. Her dad got pretty freaked out since he knew that he did not hear or see anyone walk by and the footprints were all too small to be his. He followed the footprints to the back door. He tried the handle but the door was locked, it was a door that needed a key to be unlocked. So he used his key to open the door and discovered footprints leading from the door to the direction of the town's cemetery, which wasn't too far away. The same cemetery that Mrs. Caller was buried in. I asked her if her dad had experienced anything else since then with Mrs. Caller, and she said that he's seen loads of stuff. But normally he sees the aftermath, like he has to clean up the messes that she makes if the other teachers can't for whatever reason. So I thanked her, she grabbed her things, and then she wished me luck before she hurried out.

So once again I stood alone in the classroom. Well, alone besides the presence of Mrs. Caller, which was definitely still strong. Maybe it was a bit smarmy of me, but I asked her, “now why would the girl wish me luck?” I was told that Mrs. Caller isn't aggressive towards people but she definitely wants her presence to be known, and I guess she didn't like the idea of the disrespect in my tone in her own classroom. Suddenly there was a blur in front of me and the sound of shattering glass, the framed obituary that hung above the door had been knocked off the wall and landed practically at my feet, which made me jump instinctively. Thankfully my boots are sturdy enough that I didn't have to worry too much about getting hurt from the glass, but I noticed that there was something tucked behind the obituary in the frame. My hands are already fairly scarred up from work and I don't think the nerve endings in my fingertips really work as well as they used to, so I kind of just reached down without thinking. I brushed away the glass and picked up the paper so that I could examine it.

The obituary itself was hardly remarkable, exactly what I'd expect from a beloved school teacher who passed away many many years ago. But what was behind it was odd. An old Enclosure business card. I still have it with me. It looks probably as old as the obituary, if not older. It's the same general logo but it doesn't look as modern, as if they've updated it since then. The colors aren't as bright, aren't as jarring. But something about it made my stomach twist. It felt wrong, not like the uncanny valley wrong, but just I don't like looking at it. I pocketed the business card and carefully put the obituary on the desk. I asked what Mrs. Caller was trying to tell me, but the energy felt... tired? Strained? A little concerned. I asked for literally any other message, any other sign, anything that could be helpful with whatever this, this business card is. Then I saw chairs in the classroom start to move. Instead of them all being pushed into desks they were all shifted as if whoever was seated in the chairs were all facing me. I was the focus at that point. It suddenly felt like I was being watched far more intensely than I've been in a haunting situation. It was like I was standing in front of a crowd who were all watching me with narrowed, scrutinizing eyes. At first I just gave a huff and said “oh haha, very funny”. But then, the smell of something sweet. It was... it was a mild smell, not like anything I've ever smelled before, but as soon as that smell hit my senses my chest hurt and my stomach churned. I looked back at the obituary on the desk and saw Mrs. Caller's smiling face, then looked up to see the words “do your homework” written on the whiteboard in neat handwriting and one of the markers uncapped on the little storage ledge thing. So I told her, okay, I would, but I had to leave. I felt sick, which has never happened in a situation like this before. I normally have a gut of steel but something about that sweet smell just shook me to my core. I hurriedly capped the marker, wiped off the whiteboard, and then rushed over and started to power down my equipment that I hardly even used. I have been chased, drowned, attacked, and so many worse, worse things than having empty chairs turned to face me, but my heart was thudding in my chest and my palms started to sweat. I needed to leave. The sweet smell still lingered and I couldn't stand it!

I packed up my equipment and just got out of there. As I made my way back towards the front door I knew I couldn't be seen by anyone like that, I couldn't stand the idea of anyone's eyes on me at that point. I ducked into the bathroom, I tucked myself into a stall. I put my box down on the floor and just sat on the toilet before I just... stared at my hands. My scarred, now nicked-with-glass fingers, the creases in my palms, the swirl of my fingertips. I just reminded myself that I was there. The sweet smell was replaced by the smell of cleaning supplies and other musty smells. While it wouldn't normally be a pleasant smell it was far better than whatever I had smelled previously. After a few deep breaths I finally stood up and started to prepare to leave. That was when my bathroom stall flew open to reveal... nobody. It was more like Mrs. Caller was telling me to skedaddle on home and get working on my homework. I don't know why I couldn't fully see her like the ghost set the Chronicle Inn, but I could surely feel her presence strongly enough.

I'll admit I got a little huffy with her. I told her it was rude to barge into a stall like that and I was getting ready. Considering I hadn't actually used the bathroom, I just grabbed my stuff and headed out. Thankfully I made it to the front entrance without really catching anyone's attention. I was actually even able to slip by the front door without anyone noticing me, or at least they didn't call out to me. I felt a little bad without saying goodbye to Anika, especially after only being there for like, what, an hour? But I just wanted to get home. And now I'm home. And what was my homework? Well I decided to look more into this Alice Caller. She had a husband who passed away not long before she did. The husband worked in town and apparently had some ties with the Enclosure. Not an employee, they don't really hire townsfolk. But seemingly a friend of a former employee. I did hours of digging after I got home and found a mention in a newspaper of him and a Dr. Severin Kelder. I don't know why that name stuck out to me, but it did. I don't know if I've seen it on a research file before, or what. But I'm going to look more into it when I have my work computer at the lab tomorrow. Maybe Mrs. Caller saw the Enclosure logo on my equipment or something? But why was that business card even there? This business card isn't even for a particular person. I mean, it has a phone number on it but no name. I don't recognize the number and when I looked through my roster of numbers it didn't match anything. So perhaps, it was an older, no longer used number? Also, Todd said that Mrs. Caller died like a hundred years ago. Well, if this business card from the Enclosure was there, then that's impossible. The Enclosure settled here in like the 1930s. I think Todd was just exaggerating. Also both Anika and the obituary said that she taught and then died in like the 80s, so, whatever. Not that that really matters.

I put the old Enclosure business card away in the back of one of my drawers. I don't want to look at it anymore than I have to, it reminds me of that sweet smell in the classroom and I hate it. I normally love sweets and sweet smelling things, but something about that particular smell, it… I don't know. It triggers flight or fight down to my very core. Even if I know logically that I'm safe. [shivers] Just thinking about it is sitting me on pins and needles. Oh gods, and I didn't even tell anyone about the broken glass. A janitor probably had to clean it up. Totally forgot. Now I feel like a jerk... should I send an apology? Should I call in the morning?

[tapping sounds] Oh, I hear you! But you're not coming in, not after last time! I don't want to have to replace my couch again. I told you to just please, please leave me alone. Why'd you even want in my place so bad? There's other houses for you to knock on! [takes a deep breath] They're just kids, Jared. They're just doing whatever it is that they do. There is no need to shout at them. They don't know better. Sorry! I'm gonna stop the research for tonight and get some rest, I've stayed up way too late and I think that the black-eyed children are drawn to my house due to the fact that my lights are still on. I'm gonna call Anika in the morning and see if I could come back Friday after school, have the place relatively to myself, examine a bit further. It also gives me time between now and then to do some more research. I know Todd wanted the files on his desk by the end of the week, but I could always go in Friday afternoon and drop off the files Saturday. Still at the end of the week, he never specified what day. So, till next time, I guess. This is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Dr. Todd Carmen is voiced by Conrad Miszuk. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates. You can support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Becky Thompson, Perry Bruns, Tristan Fraud, Nico Allen and Devin Wright.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

5 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 4 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 4: Green Claw

INTRO

JARED

Today sucked. [eating ice cream] It didn't start bad, I mean it actually started pretty good. I have so much ice cream in my freezer, all from the Royal Cow. Anytime I die I eat a whole pint to soothe the stress. This one's butter pecan. I changed into my PJs. I haven't even showered yet. I'm freezing, even with this blanket around me I'm shivering. Ugh, but yeah no, um, it started well, really well. I spent the afternoon with Darius by the river. It's a bit too chilly to go swimming now, but it was nice for a walk and a little picnic. He brought some food that he'd learned to cook in his classes and some apple ale that his dads made, and plenty of water bottles of course. We sat and just talked for a while. He'd picked me up from my place in his truck and drove us out there. He'd seemed a bit nervous for the first portion of the relatively short drive, but he loosened up after we talked a bit more. First about the weather, then about how his folks had been, and then just conversation flowed from one topic to the next. [eats more ice cream] Once by the river we uh, we set up the picnic out on the grass near the water and then we cracked into the food. He made various finger foods for us to eat like pigs in a blanket and fried cheese curds. I have no idea how early he woke up to make all of it but it was all delicious. That and the apple ale was the most soul-pleasing lunch that I could ask for. We sat together and watched the river flow by, shared jokes and stories. It was actually nice to smile that much.

[shivers, eats more ice cream] It was great, you know? Then we packed up the blanket and the food containers and we took it all back to his truck. Then we went for a walk along the river. There's a nice little path through the grass and the trees. Lots of kids bike round there during the warmer months, but we pretty much had it to ourselves the whole walk. The thing about that part of the river though is that there's a creature rumored to lurk in the water that's been known to drag people down into the depths. Usually parents use it as a story to warn, you know, their kids to steer away from the waters and going swimming alone. I've personally never seen anything out there, but I know for a fact that we have files on something living in that water. Darius and I didn't talk about it though. We had a bunch of other things to talk about. [whispered] Oh god. [eats more ice cream] Yeah so we talked about how work’s been for both of us, and also what we've been up to outside of work. Which on my end wasn't exactly much. So he did a good portion of the talking on that front.

We walked pretty close together. He asked a few times if I was chilly and he even offered me his jacket at one point. I had my own jacket on, but it was nice just walking together. I declined his offer but thanked him. But gave him a little playful nudge about how he would also be cold if he gave me his jacket. And I'm so damn cold. But this ice cream is my ritual. So about after an hour of walking he asked if he could ask me something pretty serious. It was a big tone shift in conversation, and I told him sure. Before he could even ask, his phone started ringing in his pocket. It was one of his dads asking him to come home. Some incident on the farm, everything was fine, but they really needed all hands on deck. It sounded pretty urgent. Darius looked a bit annoyed, but I told him that it was okay. He offered to drive me home but his dad had sounded a bit frantic. I told him that I could call someone to come pick me up, I wanted to walk a bit more anyways. We stared at each other for a moment, he even took a step towards me, I wasn't sure what he had planned to do but then he just took off his jacket and wrapped it around me, then jogged back off towards his truck. “Tell to your folks I say hi!” was the last thing I said as I watched him drive off. His jacket smelled really nice.

To be honest I had no idea who I was going to call, but I did want to walk some more so I did. I zipped up his jacket that was a bit too big for me and continued on down the path. He's always worn jackets that are probably about two sizes too big for him. He always seems comfortable but it just made it quite big on me. As I walked along the river, something pulled my attention out over the water. I saw something that looked like hands struggling and some splashing, like someone was trying to get out. Like someone was drowning. So without thinking I ran and threw myself into the water. Like an idiot. I lost another pair of glasses. No one would be swimming this time of year and I knew that there's something out in that river that's inhuman, but I still dove in to save whoever was struggling! Ugh, I literally knew better! But no…

The water was pretty calm, but cold as hell already. It actually stung when I jumped in. It wasn't a hard swim to get out there, to where I'd seen the struggling happening, besides all the layers that I was wearing anyways. But when I got out there I didn't feel anything. I went above the water and looked around and there was nothing to see. I went underwater and felt around again, and nothing. At least for a few moments anyway. I went up above water to take in a breath and enough time had passed for me to realize that again, I'd been duped. Before I could even turn back towards land, I felt something grab my ankle and pull me under. Literally all I could say was “damn it!” before that thing snagged me. Not my first time being yanked into a lake or a river or whatever, but it's still hard to resist breathing in a bunch of water on my way down. The grip of my ankle was tight, like three strong fingers. It felt like it had plush, something almost furry, but definitely a clawed hand. Once fully under the really cold water, I tried to take in what was around me as I struggled, but all I could see in front of me was some green blur with a line of what I assume were sharp teeth smiling at me. That was when I heard a voice come out in a bubbly haze, but in my head I could understand every word that was said to me.

RIVER MONSTER

It's been a while since I've caught anything.

JARED

I.. I don't know how I knew that that's what it said, but I just wanted to get away. I always feel off for days if my body has to reform anything, so being eaten especially sucks. I tried kicking at the grip, but then the hands moved from my ankle to actually hold my arms so that they could... I don't know, so that the creature could look at my face? And then they asked-

RIVER MONSTER

You're not afraid? You don't fight the same way most do. No screams, not even trying to breathe anymore. [evil laugh]

JARED

And then they laughed at me. It was almost worse being laughed at than held under the water, though my lungs did start to hurt from not being able to breathe. I must have sneered or something, I don't know, but I just heard another laugh.

RIVER MONSTER

Do you even know fear?

JARED

That struck me as weird, but uh... it made me think. Like I'm not afraid of death. I'm more afraid of surprise parties and saying the wrong thing in conversation than I am of death. Death sucks, but I've gotten used to it. I struggled more. I got a few good kicks in. I reached up towards the surface, anything that I could do to get free. After my last run-in with the mud mermaids I didn't feel like drowning again. But no matter how much I struggled, I wasn't strong enough. My heart was pounding as I tried to fight the urge to breathe in water. The mocking became less in my focus but it was still there. I still remember how the voice sounded so clear!

RIVER MONSTER

So curious... such determination. Such desperation. Yet no attempted screaming. This isn't your first time, huh? But I've never seen you before.

JARED

I got pulled back down a bit further, as if the creature was trying to take a closer look at me. The closer I got, the blurrier the creature got, which wasn't hard considering you can't see very clearly underwater. At that point, everything was sore and I was feeling lightheaded. I let out the air that I had been holding in since it felt like that my head was gonna burst, and on reflex I almost inhaled a huge gulp of water. But I clamped my mouth shut just in time. But it got really difficult towards the end there. It was so cold, yet so much of me burned because I just wanted to breathe.

RIVER MONSTER

What if I just let go? Would you make it to the surface in time?

JARED

A different kind of teasing, and it sucked nonetheless. Like a cat toying with its prey, and just like a cat that's just how some of these creatures are. Humans have a propensity to know better, but for some of these creatures it's just in their nature. I can't really fault them for that. Besides I was food. I had just hoped that if I was gonna die, at least I'd go unconscious before I became supper. That was about the breaking point, though. My mouth involuntarily opened and my body tried gasping for air. But there was no air. If I thought my lungs had burned before, no. That water made them burn far, far worse. All I remember after that was thrashing and burning and it became impossible to fight anymore and then... nothing.

[eats more ice cream] I don't know if the creature ate anything, but my clothes were pretty much still intact. When I woke up and I didn't see any new scars, so I guess not. I have no idea why the creature didn't just commit. Asshole. I woke up on the riverbank, coughed up a bunch of water when I woke up, and gods! Everything still ached for a bit. It didn't last long, once I got the water out of my system, but it was still very unpleasant. I was freezing because my clothes were still soaking wet, but the most frustrating thing was that since I went downstream, I was even further from home. I must have only been out of commission for an hour or so, considering that no one had found my body and since it was well lit, I assumed that not much time had passed. I’m always scared that someone's gonna find my body before I wake up. Now that would be awkward for me and traumatizing for them. Anyways I got up and started walking along the river. Really just trying to find my phone. After a little while I did eventually find it, still on the edge of the path from where I jumped in. My fingers were so pruney from all that time in the water and I was shivering with all the soaked layers, but I picked up my phone and checked the time. No new messages, no missed calls, nothing besides a very low battery. It's kind of sad. What if I had died, died. When would people even notice? But it was like the universe wanted to give me something. Because then and there I got a text from Darius apologizing for having to leave so quickly. He asked if I'd gotten home but I told him half the truth. Still walking, heading home soon. And before I could call anyone, my phone died. I was trying to figure out who I could come to get me, I went to call Amir, and just then my phone shut off. I felt mocked.

So then I walked all the way home in soaked clothes, and the fall air did not help. I didn't want to be out after dark so I made sure to keep a good pace, shivering and swearing under my breath most of the way home. It may not have been a long drive, but it took me hours to walk home. And now here I am. I still smell the river water, I still have some weird green handprints on my ankle from where the creature first grabbed me, but no new scars. At least none that I've noticed. I tossed the wet clothes into my washing machine and just started my post-death ritual before recording. Getting at the ice cream and wrapping myself in blankets. I don't care if I'm freezing. Ice cream is my ritual, I am sticking to it. My phone is finally charged enough to turn it back on, and um, oh shoot. A few missed messages, all from Darius. He'd asked if I'd found someone to come get me, and then another message of him offering to come get me if I couldn't find anyone, and then another message asking if I'd gotten home, each like an hour apart. Oh man, I worried him. I gotta text him back hold on. “I'm so sorry I'm home. Phone died. Had an amazing time with you today. Hope everything's settled down on your end.”

It would be so nice to be honest, but what would I say? “Hey sorry, I drowned and died and then had to walk home and soaking wet clothes in the cold after my phone also died!” Best case scenario, if he believed me, he'd probably feel so guilty. But more likely than not, he wouldn't believe me. I mean most people just don't, they... they don't just walk off death. It's starting to rain again, so at least I beat that home, I guess. Just a light drizzle but I'm already cold enough as it is. And I know that I should report this incident to the Enclosure. but honestly? I don't really feel like meddling further. That creature was minding their own business anyways, why should I just drive other scientists to the river? I mean if it was so obviously deadly, then Todd would just send me again. I'm not looking forward to a round two. Because of my abilities I actually get most of the orders directly from Todd himself instead of from the higher ups in the lab that I work in, like most of the other scientists do. A bit of a special case, I guess, one that I'm not particularly thrilled about, honestly. But, whatever. It's a stable job, and it's good money, so I don't complain all that much. I might not tell anyone about this. I don't want to deal with all the trouble that I'm gonna have to deal with if I do. Not like Todd would be the most empathetic about the matter, and Dr. Rahal would probably worry more than necessary. I don't think that he really emotionally processes that I come back when I die. Then, of course, I can't really talk to anyone outside of the Enclosure, I guess. I could reach out to Dr. Lomax? They were always a great listener and I don't really see them much anymore. I've been thinking about seeing if they want to meet up and, I don't know, grab a bite to eat, catch up? And I have no clue what their schedule is like anymore. I don't really have friends to spend time with, so maybe I should change that. I'm gonna go finish this ice cream before it melts and then I'm gonna go take a hot shower and get into some warmer clothes. I might call Darius later and see how he's doing, make sure that everything's all right on his end. Also I'm definitely requesting some time off, even a weekend would be nice. I know I've got some paid time off built up, so i'll look into using some of that here soon just to recoup. Not like I've ever really taken a vacation before or anything. I mean all I could really do is just lounge around my house but right now that doesn't sound all that bad. But first, ice cream, then shower. This has been Dr. Jared Hel, signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. The River Monster was played by Jason Larock. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Becky Thompson, Perry Bruns, and Tristan Fraud.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

5 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 3 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 3: Cherry Tobacco

INTRO

JARED

I really need to get into the habit of doing this more often. Dr. Daman keeps asking how this is going, but I rarely have anything to tell her that she seems to want to hear. She really wants me to do this regularly, but sitting at my desk with a sore back didn't sound too appealing, especially if I didn't have to. Even though my back is feeling a bit better after the snipe hunt tournament incident, I'm actually recording this from a bed and breakfast. And I'm tired. Not even a vacation, it's more of a work trip. Not terribly much has happened since my last update. Darius's birthday was recently. He had a little get-together with some friends and he even invited me along, which was really nice. I made sure to get there a little early especially since it was a day off of work for me. We met up at Waytooth, a restaurant that his dads and him frequent often. I got there and just sat outside for a bit fiddling on my phone, then Darius showed up. He was so excited for the party, I could tell. He smiled the second we made eye contact. He jogged over to me and we talked for a bit. The weather is still pretty nice, it's finally starting to get chillier, which is actually nicer, I prefer the layers. So we sat outside and enjoyed the weather as we talked until his other friends showed up. They were all nice, but I kind of stuck by Darius most of the day since he was the only one that I really knew.

After lunch, we all went to a drive-in theater that they've got set up here in town, which is mostly just a projector and a large painted brick wall, but it was still a nice time. His friends all sat in different cars as we watched the movie, but Darius and I sat in the bed of his truck and ate snacks that he had packed. Darius is a really good cook. He's learning a lot of cool stuff from that class he's taking. I gave him a little gift, of course. Well, two things. I got him a new wrench set since he'd been saying that he needed a new one, his old one's been a bit worn down for a while. Uh, gifts to give him in front of his friends, since he really plays up the whole inheriting the family farm shtick around them. But we, when we were in his truck, just the two of us, I gave him his second gift. He said he had really gotten into cross stitching recently and he seemed a little embarrassed about it. But I wanted him to know that I thought that was interesting, so I got him a little pack of stitching patterns and some thread organizers. I wasn't sure what kind of patterns he'd like, so I just got him a couple of different kinds. He was quiet for a few moments after he opened that gift and I kind of panicked for a moment honestly. But he then gave me a really big smile and put his hand on my shoulder. He gave me a really soft thank you and I told him it was my pleasure, as long as he made me something. It was an obvious joke, at least I hoped it was obvious. But he asked what I'd want. I told him I like birds. Birds have so much freedom to just fly around and always sing such pretty songs. Besides geese, I don't like geese. He asked me if I had any favorites. I said I like blue jays. Major assholes, but beautiful. He laughed and he said he'd give it his best shot, but I told him that I’d hang up anything he made me. And that was about it. We barely watched the movie, we spent most of the time quietly talking actually.

What else have I done? Well, Dr. Castillo and I went and investigated the energy signatures from the cornfields after Todd told us to do so and you know what we found? Corn. That's it. Oh, and more corn! No energy spikes, no signs of tomfoolery of the natural or supernatural kind, nothing. It was almost strange how untouched by supernatural energies it seemed. We investigated during the day and at night. No changes. So we've been keeping tabs on the fields but nothing that's been too notable has happened when we're out there. We've been passing a lot of our time in the labs reorganizing files going over the energy spikes that have been recorded and theorizing what we could possibly be dealing with there. But until we can further examine it, there is not much we can do. Ever since they replaced my old lab partner my workload has been much lighter. I actually prefer to be busy than bored, and I think Dr. Castillo isn't used to having idle hands either. They only ever give me small menial tasks and it's becoming more annoying than anything else. But I did recently see my old lab partner, Dr. Lomax in the hall this morning. I've seen them in passing a few times but we haven't been able to catch up much since the sudden change. Dr. Lomax also has no idea why they got suddenly switched to a different lab. Seems that none of us know why the change was made. All Todd said was “just had to rearrange some staff, don't worry about it!”

Speaking of, before I left work today, I got another email from Todd. Typically his emails are him asking us to do something and then him talking himself up for multiple paragraphs and making it seem like it should be a privilege to do what he's asking you to do. But this email was him actually giving me lodging information for the local inn, and explaining that I had to pack up a bag and go. They apparently planned to do renovations or something on my house due to a concern of faulty plumbing. I'd mentioned to Dr. Daman about the less-than-stellar heating system when I wanted to take a bath or do dishes, but I didn't expect anyone to actually do anything about it. But a night without weird tapping on my door sounded nice, and even though I replied to the email basically saying “oh no, you really don't have to, I can live with it”, Todd insisted. I could just see his smug smile on the other side of the screen. He'll subtly hold it over my head for later, but the rule of one denial for good polite measure then acceptance of an offer had been met and I was off home to pack a bag. And here I am now.

The Chronicle Inn bed and breakfast is run by an older married couple, Ester and Laura. I'd met them a few times before my stay here but I hadn't spent much time with them. This place is mostly a restaurant and homemade goods store rather than an inn, considering we don't get many outsiders who stay here any longer than to grab a bite to eat and get gas. But for times like these it's nice to have an inn available. Even if it's only a few rooms, it's much better than staying at the facilities that the enclosure has on site. Work would have likely put me into a temporary on-site lodging space if the inn wasn't available. To be honest I'm surprised they actually put me in the end instead of just tossing me into some temp lodging room for a night. Maybe they remembered how much I hate that place. It's nearly impossible to sleep with the buzzing lights and the beds really aren't made for comfort and the bathrooms are all so claustrophobic. I swear, they make that place as uncomfortable as possible so people want to leave. That, or they just skimped on the prices for a comfortable setup to focus the money elsewhere at the Enclosure. I'd believe that. Though maybe they booked me at this place to have me investigate something while I'm here. Can't even enjoy this nice little one-night getaway, huh? They expect me to work? Do they plan to pay me for looking into things overnight? Probably not, not like they ever pay me for the full work I do anyways.

The room I’m in is kinda known for weird happenings. The whole town knows but there's not a huge fuss over it. No one's died from it, so why be too concerned? Ester warned me about these weird happenings while I was checking in. There's word of a spirit that haunts the upper floor of the building. Been here for as long as anyone can recall. She explained it all to me with a smile and a jovial tone, so she doesn't seem concerned. After the literal run-in with the deer a few weeks ago, I really just wanted some rest. Her wife Laura told me that they serve breakfast at 7 am but they'll be at the desk to take my key as early as 6. Thankfully tomorrow my shift starts at 8 instead of the usual 6 so I might be able to actually get some real food in me before work.

Didn't take me too long to get up here and settled in. I decided to just relax today instead of going out into town. So I did some reading in bed. Not that I could really focus much, the bed here is nice and cozy, but there's definitely a vibe about it. The room, not the bed. The rest of the inn is very homey, lived in, but in a good way. But the second I got to the top of the stairs it was like the air got barely but still noticeably cooler. When I came into the room I saw a little baggie of homemade beef jerky that Ester made and gave me. She's known around town for her jerkies and her woodwork. She's always so hands-on with everything she makes, whether it's snacks or a new set of chairs. She may have actually made the chair I'm sitting in right now, actually. I sat outside for a bit. There's a nice balcony that looks over some gardens and in the far distance I can see the vast fields. The evening felt so nice and I could see the little lightning bugs flying around as I got darker. I've always liked watching their dances. I often watch kids running around catching them in jars and then letting them all go just minutes later, but I prefer to watch them do their own thing out in nature. I watched the stars and the flicking lights of the lightning bugs for a bit, sipped on some sweet tea that Laura had brewed and offered me, ate some of the jerky that Ester made, and relaxed. I let my mind wander to wherever it went off to which as usual was all over the place. But no tapping on the doors, no weird deer staring at me, it was nice. But I keep feeling like something, or someone, is watching me. I feel that pretty often but this is different. It feels closer, if that makes sense. Like right now I'm sitting in a plush chair by the window in the room looking over the nice herb garden out back. The stars are still twinkling, the wind is just slightly blowing, and I've been able to crack the window open for some breeze. But I feel like something is watching me from the doorway. I swear to gods if I turn around and someone is standing there... (deep inhale) nope, nothing.

When Ester was telling me about what I could possibly expect, she said that a spirit had been wandering around in the room I'm staying in. Sometimes the spirit watches people. Sometimes the spirit just walks around and ignores the tenants. Must depend on her mood. But apparently something about the blue lamp by the bedside table really draws her out. Considering my line of work, and that my boss sent me here, I'm obviously going to turn on the light. Even if she's not rumored to be particularly dangerous, if they're just wanting to keep me busy then I could see Todd throwing me here to look into it a bit more. Okay. Hold on, give me a sec, let me see what happens. [lamp clicks on] It's a pretty light. I don't think I've seen a light this shade of blue outside of some of the lights they put up around town in the winter. It's nice. Oh, uh... hello? I don't know if she can hear me but I do see someone standing by the door, on the other side of the room, and um, [sniffs] tobacco?

THE BLUE LADY

I can hear you just fine.

JARED

[startled] Ah! Sorry about that. how are you?

THE BLUE LADY

Why do you ask?

JARED

Manners, I guess? Should I ask- who are you?

THE BLUE LADY

I don't think it really matters now. Besides, it's better I ask who you are.

JARED

Oh, uh, Dr. Jared Hel. I'm a scientist with the Enclosure on the edge of town. I…

THE BLUE LADY

WHO you are, not what you are. I know what you are.

JARED

...What I am is a person who would like to get some rest.

THE BLUE LADY

No, what you are is different. At least different from what I remember.

JARED

From what you remember? Have we met before?

THE BLUE LADY

Not exactly. “Met” isn't the word I would use. But we've interacted.

JARED

How so..?

THE BLUE LADY

I've watched you from afar, I've seen what you do. I guess our paths have more indirectly crossed.

JARED

I've never studied you before. You're not exactly the kind of thing that the enclosure typically sends me to study.

THE BLUE LADY

Then why are you here?

JARED

Well, work decided to fix the plumbing in my house so they put me up here. To get some rest.

THE BLUE LADY

And yet you're not here to study me?

JARED

Well that's actually unclear, I guess. I mean, if they're going to book me in the most haunted room at an inn, I guess they're having me investigate. Or Todd's just messing with me. That seems like something he'd pull.

THE BLUE LADY

Messing with you? [scoffs] When did you start putting up with the antics of people like that?

JARED

Okay, I'm gonna be upfront- if we met more than two years ago I have zero memory of any of that time. So this vague, cryptic talk is going to get you nowhere.

THE BLUE LADY

What are you doing with that thing?

JARED

[rustling sound] This it's an audio journal. It takes less focus and energy than writing. Are you just gonna keep staring at me or..?

THE BLUE LADY

People don't usually understand me this well for full conversations, so it has been quite a while. It isn't as if Ester and Laura can clearly understand me, even if they have tried.

JARED

How long have you been here?

THE BLUE LADY

Longer than I can remember. The rumor is that I've been here since the establishment of this town, whenever that may have been.

JARED

And when did we meet? I mean interact indirectly.

THE BLUE LADY

For the first time? It was many, many years ago. But again, you've certainly changed.

JARED

But again, I don't remember. You keep saying that and, [winces in pain] oh god my head!

THE BLUE LADY

We won't be getting very far right now.

JARED

No wait wait wait no hold on hold on.... and she's gone. [slams fist on table] Damn it! Why won't anyone just tell me anything outright? Oh my head... it's always like this. They disappear for a while and then come back so suddenly. Oh I hate this flesh prison! I'm done recording for now I need to try and nurse this headache now and recover from whatever the hell… oh it seems she left a little gift. Some blue ribbon? It's maybe four or five inches long, a little frayed at the ends. It's the same color as the lamp. There's something written on it. The handwriting's a bit hard to read but it looks like “you need to remember”. Remember what? How am I supposed to remember if no one ever tells me anything? Everyone always pushes me to try and remember but there's nothing to remember if they're making me grasp at thin air! They say they support me, they say they want to help, but what do they do to help, huh? All of this performative support is getting me nowhere. [facing away from recorder] And how is this ribbon supposed to help? You couldn't have given me something a little less vague? [groans] Why is everyone always so damn vague? Are they scared to just say something concrete? Why can't anyone ever give me a straight answer! No, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just… I'm going to go to bed. Right. I'm going to get some sleep. No tapping, no knocking, just sleep. I'm gonna go turn off the lamp and get some rest. Right. Ugh. Whatever. This is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off, I guess.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Voice of The Blue Lady provided by Misha Bakshi. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Becky Thompson, Perry Bruns, and Tristan Fraud.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts #jor podcast

8 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 2 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 2: Snipe Hunt

INTRO

JARED

Been a bit since I've done this, but man, what a week! First, I've been working with Dr. Castillo for a couple of weeks now. She's not bad by any means, but she's... well the kind of “always chipper” that comes off with a seething rage just below the surface. She always smiles with gritted teeth and is pretty passive aggressive. I mean passive aggressive for it to be notable around these parts. But I do really like her sarcastic wit. Most of our conversations are more like bickers, but we were able to finish up that research really quickly when she came on. Very intelligent, zero complaints about her skills. But I guess neither of us wanted this work partnership thrusted upon us, but that's how Todd runs things. We're making it work but I think we're both a little less than thrilled with the sudden change. When there's no work to do, she goes off and does her own thing in the lab of her computer. She keeps looking at me but doesn't say anything. It's always brief glances, but never pleasant. I don't think she hates me, but more like she really doesn't like the situation that we're in. I mean I can't blame her- she seems far more pleased with the job that she had before the sudden transfer. She wasn't working as directly with the dangerous creatures previously. I don't even think they gave her a pay raise for compensation. I don't even think anyone in the Enclosure really gets hazard pay.

Anyways, things got really nerve-wracking a few days ago when I had no projects, no anything to work on while on shift, which never happens. I was desperate for something to do so I actually went into town after work and just walked, kinda aimless mostly, but seeing and hearing everything in town was nice. More stimulating than the buzzing lab lights. I did maybe four or five laps around the downtown roundabout in total. Not in a row, I stepped into different shops as I meandered so I didn't look too weird looking for something to do. It was late afternoon so the heat was a bit much to just stand around outside anyways. Wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't so humid. First shop I went into was Mrs. Weddington's little bakery. Dr. Rahal loves that place. They've even swapped recipes, apparently. I haven't heard anyone use his first name so often till I started to frequent that bakery. Amir. It's weird to call him that but he said it's all right. As long as I'm not in his medical office for a checkup or whatever he said he's fine with a first name basis relationship.

Anyways, I went to Mrs. Wedington's bakery to pick up some snacks. She told me that the local charity snipe hunt tournament to support the local school was coming up in the next day or so, and she planned to bake a bunch of different things for it. Dr. Rahal... uh, Amir, planned on helping out with it. Not a lot of people in the enclosure go out and actively participate in town events, but he loves to do so. I've heard of the local charity snipe hunt tournaments the last few years but had never really asked about them. So I finally did. She explained that every year the town comes together for the big snipe hunt where everyone meets up in the late evening with, with bags and little noise makers for the hunt. But there's food first since no one should snipe hunt on an empty stomach. Tournament group leaders will lead groups out and explain what the snipe looks like. Eventually one person is left alone in the woods or fields that they're searching and has to use the bag and sound maker that they're given to defend themselves and make their way back. Only group leaders know who is to be left behind and they have to inform everyone else in the group for them to abandon the chosen person and return to the main event. The first duped person back wins a prize and the last duped person back suffers a punishment that varies from year to year. A rite of passage, she said. I asked what these “snipes” looked like and she told me it changes every year. “Depends on whatever the tournament group leaders are feeling that year,” she told me with a warm, almost excited smile. When she'd realized I'd never been to one she said that “I simply must!” Sure, I'm not really one for community events like this but Dr. Rahal always seems happier when he's more involved. Even for an employee of the Enclosure he's still pretty engaged with and welcomed by the townsfolk in Wichton. So, I signed up, like an idiot. Okay, not an idiot, but my luck proved itself.

So I went to the event, made my donation to the school, and I even tried to cook something to bring, but I'm not... I'm not a bad cook, I can cook, I just don't really like cooking. I prefer going out and supporting the restaurants and places in town and bringing the food home. But I did try, and I made some cookies, and they didn't end up being too bad, they were well received. Though I was told they could have done with a bit more, um, “huh, I don't know what's missing, they're still good though!” is what they said. Probably love or a bit of this, a bit of that. You know, the usual missing ingredients. I was put into a team with Holly Darling as the leader, and while Holly is a great person, they have an amount of energy that I have no clue how to keep up with. So it was me, Holly, and a bunch of high schoolers. I'm not terrible with kids but I'm not experienced with kids. At least not kids with normal eyes that don't just wander the sides of the road or knock on my door on and off for hours in the middle of the night. So I just fully let Holly take the lead. Followed with my burlap sack I was given and my flashlight in hand since it was starting to get dark. I walked behind the kids into the woods by the creek on the edge of the fields as Holly described the “snipe” that we were looking for- a sort of rodent-esque creature with the markings of a skunk, but a build more like a small dog. I couldn't tell if they were just pulling this out of their ass or not, but the teens were all on high alert for it. One had a slide whistle, another had a sort of clicker that they used to click out various things to try and stir up any sign of this mysterious snipe. In my time at the Enclosure, I've never heard or read of a snipe, so if it's a real thing then it isn't even on our radar. That doesn't mean it's not real, and that doesn't mean it's not dangerous. It just means I went into this thing totally unprepared.

As the search continued, I actually got pretty into it. Sure, I was going against a bunch of literal teenagers to catch something that I never did get an answer if it even exists, but I actually got pretty competitive. Whether it was to make up for my subpar cookies or because it was something to do, I don't know. But I got so sucked into the search and trying to best these heckling jerks of kids that I didn't even think twice when Holly whispered a bit louder than needed- “over there, the bushes, I see its tail!” (nervous laugh) I threw myself into that bush with the bag, I didn't even think i just grabbed and tried to catch whatever I could grab. What I caught was a bunch of leaves and twig that snuck behind my glasses and poked me in the eye. No living creature, no snipe. I didn't even hear laughter, which is what I'd expected to hear. When I looked up they were all gone. I never even heard or saw them take off, absolutely zero sign of them. There one second, gone the next. And I realized I was duped. I was the dupee, a dupee with a sore eye.

As soon as I realized my situation I brushed myself off and with the utmost composure, started the trek back to the main event. Survived my rite of passage, right? I’d be more part of things, right? Jumping into that damn bush would have to be worth something. But as I made my way towards the edge of the woods I realized I was suddenly much farther from the tree line than I originally was. At that point I couldn't even see the tree line anymore, but I knew what direction I had to go so I started back from where I came. I started to fidget with the burlap sack to keep my hands occupied as I walked, the sound of the cicadas in my own footsteps were all I could hear. I was more frustrated than anything. Of course I was the one ditched. I thought they would pick one of the kids, let them have their laughs and go from there, but I guess they'd get better laughs if it was someone else they could focus on together. Huh, nothing brings a community together better than casting collective judgment. As I walked back towards the tree line I eventually heard the sound of something walking behind me. I could tell there was a good distance between me and the sound but I don't like surprises. I turned around as quickly as I could and saw one of those three-eyed deer with perfectly symmetrical yet overgrown horns, and slightly humanoid hind legs. Not too uncommon in these parts, not usually much of a threat, but still unsettling to see up close. They took me a while to get used to, but this line of work desensitizes you pretty quick.

Those in town know to avoid these deer, other creatures in the woods know to avoid them too, so I should have backed off sooner. We locked eyes for what felt like hours, however long it actually was I don't know. I didn't feel threatened at first, more like I was being analyzed. But then I heard a voice in my head.

[echo-y voice] “Run.”

So I did. Not immediately, as I normally would have and definitely should have, but after one or two awkward steps away the deer bucked up and made like it was gonna charge. So then I took off. I don't know if the deer got territorial or startled or what but I didn't have time to try and figure that out at the moment. I ended up dropping the bag and flashlight and just sprinted as fast as my legs would take me towards the tree line that had only just then started to come back into view. It was definitely dark but my eyes had adjusted pretty quickly to take in what light they could from the moonlight.

[echo-y voice] “Faster.”

No matter how fast I forced my legs, the sound of hooves against the dirt and leaves were never too far behind. In fact in mere moments it was right behind me. And then I felt something slam into my back, hard. I was sent flying forward and skidded across the ground. I had never had a violent encounter with one of these deer before, but when the snipe hunt tournament leaders spoke about returning and surviving. Well... what was it about that day that made it special for them to host it on? I mean the same time every year in the same part of the woods? In the same parts of the fields. What was making the deer more volatile instead of fleeing or just staring like they tended to? I'd seen them buck but they'd never charged me. I wasn't wondering that then, of course. No, then I was scrambling back onto my feet. I'd even lost my glasses for a bit but I found them again pretty quickly, when my hand slammed down on top of them in my rush up and definitely broke part of them. Speaking of breaking, it definitely felt like the damn knot deer broke something when it bucked me or at least cracked a few ribs. They do pack a good hit when angered. Looking back I'm surprised it had stopped after hitting me just once. As if it had made its point.

[echo-y voice] “Get out.”

So with my busted glasses in hand, I booked it past the tree line and took off into the fields. In the distance I could see the lights and the bonfire and the rest of the attendees, mostly the remaining chaperones and the parents of those kids who were out on the hunt at that point. Some kids, including those that had duped me in the woods, were near the fire. No one seemed to notice me at first. And they're hurting... it hurt so much to run. And I did what you're never supposed to do and looked back over my shoulder as I ran to see if the deer was still there. It was but it just stood by the tree line. It stood still as stone, and many other of those multi-eyed not-deer were standing next to it. It could have been a whole herd of them, all watching as I rushed back to the group. All standing on their more humanoid hind legs, watching, watching as I ran back. I heard some sort of banshee screech from the woods echoing over the field which caused me to hoof it faster. But no one else at the party seemed to even react. Had they not heard it too? Sore eye, sore back, and sore lungs from the exertion. I hate this flesh prison sometimes. Eventually Holly called out my name. Their voice was obviously loud but it was hard to hear over the sound of blood rushing behind my eardrums. The fear is never dying, considering I know I'll always come back, but that doesn't mean that the pain of death doesn't suck! When the whisper in my head tells me to run, I run. Who would be stupid enough to ignore that instinct?

Once back to the gathering I was mostly relieved that the deer had stayed in the forest. But it didn't pass my attention though while I wasn't the first dupee back, I wasn't the last one either. That caused a sense of relief but to a much lesser extent. I put back on my glasses which don't fit too well anymore. One of the arms is hardly attached now. I'm gonna have to file for a better replacement pair than the spares that I'm wearing right now. But the Enclosure takes its sweet time actually getting people their replacement glasses and things like that. It wasn't until I started to get the various congratulations and two firm pats on my very tender back and handshakes from people, that I really came back into the moment. I saw Dr. Rahal, Amir, over by the food tables with Mrs. Weddington, both smiling and laughing. When Holly came and congratulated me saying they wish they'd recorded me leaping into the bush, I saw over their shoulder that Darius was there with his dads, talking to some of the other farmers in town about something or other. All smiling, all having a good time. I saw other people just enjoying the night, waiting for their kids to come home. But with the way the deer had reacted to me, I could not help but wonder why. I didn't find myself too worried about the other kids, but I was worried about why the deer were acting rather... uncharacteristically. They normally weren't so hostile, especially not when it's just a lone deer like it had been at first. I mean usually the worst you get with an encounter is a harsh stare down and a twisting in your stomach, but they don't normally attack like that. At least I'd never been attacked before and I've definitely seen them before. I even asked one of the other group leaders why they picked this time of year for the hunt. Was it the weather? Tradition? The answer was indeed tradition. It had always been done this day of the year, sometimes would even cancel school for it the next day. So why change it? Why change what has worked for so long? We don't often change traditions. Point taken, I guess.

I ended up gravitating towards Darius and his circle. I didn't necessarily join in on the conversation, I just stood nearby with my cup of hot apple cider from his family's farm and listened. They really hadn't heard the scream, or if they did they just weren't acknowledging it. Either option was equally likely and I didn't like that. Darius eventually noticed me and came over to talk which helped my nerves a bit. He asked about my glasses, mentioned that my eye looked swollen, and I just told him that I fell on my way back. He asked if I was alright and I was actually honest with him! A little shaken, a little sore but all right. He offered to drive me home but it wasn't a long drive home and I didn't have much energy to socialize anymore. And I really just wanted to melt in my bed and sleep, the pain in my back really wasn't helping my frayed nerves. I also really didn't want to have to come back here to retrieve my run-down car later. Darius said he understood but if I changed my mind to just let him know. I smiled and thanked him and then finished my cider.

I ended up heading home before the last dupee returned. When I got home I was met with another one of those black eyed children at my door. It was seated at my doorstep and stared at me the entire time I made my way from my car to the front door. It made its unintelligible whispers that eventually turned into some monotone requests for shelter. But I just avoided eye contact and went inside. The taps on my door were louder than usual. That with the pain in my back and my ribs made it hard to sleep. And it was like that for days- taps and pain, tossing and turning in bed to get comfortable, covering my head with my pillow to block out the sounds. Apparently the loser of the snipe hunt just suffered some heckling from his peers, nothing too severe, at least in my book. Damn kid didn't get bucked by a damn deer, should be grateful.

And that leads to today. On my way home from some errands in town after work I saw a singular deer in my yard. It was a normal deer, two eyes, asymmetrical antlers, much smaller than the ones in the woods that I saw a few nights back. But when I made eye contact with the deer in my yard, I heard that whisper again

[echo-y voice] “Don't look back next time.”

And then it took off, like some messenger just trying to leave after following orders. It pranced out into the fields and kept going until I couldn't see it anymore. The headaches still linger, I think any worsening was just from the run-in with the deer, or being run into by the deer, I guess. Whatever had angered the deer that night, I couldn't help but feel like there was almost a sense of warning to it. Not a territorial warning, but a warning of something else. That deer easily could have stomped me into the dirt and left me for dead if it had wanted, but it had just wanted me out. Why?

Work has kicked back up again, and there's some energy signature that keeps moving about the cornfields then they keep picking it up and saying that it's much stronger than the usual bursts they see in those fields. And they want Dr. Castillo and I to look into it. Tomorrow is going to be a much longer day at the office, but I much prefer being busy than bored. I might have to see Amir again about the pain in my back, but it's gotten better over time so I might not even worry too much about it. I almost wish the deer had killed me, at least I could have come back close to fully healed. What's a few more scars anyway, it's not like anyone ever sees them.

I'm gonna go take a hot bath to see if that helps my back any. I might see if I can find anything on what might be causing the heightened aggression from the not-dear, just ignore the tapping on my door while I can, try and get some reading done. I'll talk to you later. This is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off, again. [tapping sounds]

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Disembodied voice provided by Cecil Fox. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has also created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Becky Thompson, Perry Bruns, and Tristan Fraud.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

7 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 3 years

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 1 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

INTRO

JARED

Dr. Daman has suggested that I start an audio journal of some kind, something outside of my therapy sessions to help me track my progress or whatever. Considering I don't have much of anything that's mine anymore, she suggested that this might actually be a good way to reclaim some of my individuality. Maybe talking about what I do know of myself might help me remember more. So I guess I'll start with what I know. My name is Dr. Jared Hel. I'm a field researcher for the Enclosure. I specialize in studying the particularly dangerous creatures around here. For some reason, no matter their effect on others, nothing is permanent on me. Gods, the amount of times I've died this last year is probably more than I should ever care to admit. I guess it's a blessing in disguise though, it's job security, for one thing. A scientist who can't die no matter how dangerous the entity he's studying? I think I'm set. Sure, I may bounce back from death with a few more scars but they're relatively healed up and I'm rarely ever in much pain when I wake up. Though, to be fair, if the Enclosure just left these creatures alone I’m sure this wouldn't even be an issue in the first place, but no... they just gotta meddle.

I started working at the enclosure, what, two years ago? Though I've really only been on the field for less than a year. Apparently, I worked at a different research site for some other organization before that but I don't really remember anything from before two years ago. I supposedly transferred here to research a particularly dangerous subject, the one that... um... well the one that killed my team. And me, I guess. The most frustrating thing is the lack of remembering- I don't remember any of their names, their faces, nothing. I had to relearn absolutely everything and no matter what I relearn I never remember. It's so infuriating knowing that there's a whole childhood and more that I have yet to recollect anything from. I feel so left out of reminiscent conversations, you know? Well of course you know, I'm practically talking to myself here. All I know of myself before the incident is what was on my work file- top of my class graduate from IU, but I don't remember a damn thing about my time there. Apparently there's a lot of fields around there, though I guess that's not too different from the towns around here. Born and raised in those corn fields, according to my records. No documented family to speak of. But from what other folks in the lab have shared about their families- maybe I’m not missing out on too much.

When asked about getting in touch with the folks from the other facility that I worked at they didn't seem to think that it would be too helpful. Hell, how would they even know who to put me in touch with? Wasn't like they would have documented my friends or anything. So again, nothing. Story of my damn life. And of course there's Todd. Oh I’m sorry, Dr Todd Carmen. He's currently head of operations at the enclosure. He's, uh, I'll say he's a character. Not as unique as he thinks he is but certainly not boring, but just because something isn't boring doesn't mean that it's entertaining. He has a fashion sense that I would have never personally considered wearing, but um that shade of orange with his pale complexion? Simply bold choices in my opinion. But I'm sure he'll get himself sorted out someday. Besides all that though I guess it's not too bad. Job security with benefits- apparently a lot of jobs don't offer health insurance. Though with our line of work it's kind of necessary, to keep us alive.

Uh, what else do I know? The Enclosure is an organization based out in the middle of absolute nowhere that researches the various anomalies, but really only bothers with the particularly dangerous ones. Like, really dangerous ones. I mean bigfoot, mothman, that sort of stuff they really just leave to their own devices for the most part. Sure they hurt and even I guess sometimes kill people, but not a lot of people, and enough people already know about those things to not really hide them away now. Wichton is like two hours from any other town. It's guised as a farming town. Uh well no, it is a farming town but the enclosure has taken it as its guise. Most of the facilities are underground, deep underground. They paid off all the townsfolk back when they were building to not ask questions. And considering they built it during a massive economic depression, no one asked questions, the townsfolk took the money. But there's still some circulating rumors about us to this day, of course. As long as we keep the particularly dangerous creepy crawlies underground with us they've got no reason to worry too much. Sure, sometimes things sneak out and make weird noises in the fields at night but country folk are superstitious folk, and if nothing else it's what these people have known all their lives. Suspicious lights, weird noises and mutated deer don't even faze these people. The Enclosure picks its battles when it decides what to tackle, that's for damn sure. Not like they're an international brand or anything, they only have the resources to stick to these neck of the woods, and with all the anomalies in these parts, not really surprised that they settled here. Been here for nearly 100 years and have very little idea why it's such a supernaturally charged area. Some say it might be the fact that folks are so superstitious that it basically invites the energy here. But others think there's a reason, but it ain't my department to figure that out. The hardest part of the job is getting things into the facility. But sometimes the hot shots up top decide to just have us study those things from afar since taking them out of their established locations seems impossible. So many ladies in gray and white dresses all over the place, we can't exactly make a support group for them here or anything! Not when they're out busy haunting dunes or lakes or crying by the side of the road or whatever. Not really hurting anyone all that much, so they've mostly just been left alone. We keep tabs, but we also don't always interfere. Oh and being the sacrificial lamb is a bit annoying, but I bounce back quickly enough. Death has gotten less disorienting over time, but no less annoying.

What did I do today? Well... I had a shorter day, shift-wise, so I went in at like 6 a.m, then got out around one-ish. I was supposed to leave closer to noon but I ended up having to stop at Dr. Rahal’s office for a bit for my headaches. They've been getting worse and we don't really know why. At least they come and go in waves, so I get some peace at times. It's always nice to see Dr. Rahal though, he's been the nicest to me since I started at this place, from what I can remember at least. He's one of the Enclosure physicians who I've been seeing. From anything to work related injuries that aren't too severe to these headaches. I swear I've never met a guy in my life who can smile so genuinely and be so sincerely happy over just about anything. It'd honestly be annoying if it weren't so sincere and if he also weren't so genuinely nice. He's really trying to help with these headaches but medicine doesn't really ever help and the medical scans showed nothing that would indicate any issue. I mean, not that they let me see the medical scans. I guess I wouldn't understand them anyways, even if they did let me.

Dr. Rahal thinks that it's likely stress so that takes us back to therapy with Dr. Daman. Had a session after work, which was when she suggested that I really start this up. She's suggested it before but I kind of dismissed the idea until today. She made a very good point- what's the harm in doing it? I mean, it can't make the headaches worse and even if it doesn't help me remember anything, maybe getting things off my chest could help in some way. Therapy was uneventful, not like much happens in a week, just the usual work stuff mostly. Though I have started going out after work a bit more often, even if it's just to a local shop or to grab a bite to eat. Dr. Daman suggested a few months back that I socialize a bit more, and it's been kind of nice. Weird, but nice. I've mostly stuck to myself outside of work, honestly. Well, besides those community events that you're basically ostracized if you don't attend or you get bombarded with those calls of “where were you last night? We were so worried about you, are you okay?”, even if you don't remember giving them your number. I like to go to a restaurant in town called the Royal Cow, they make the best in-house ice cream. They built it to look like one of those red farm houses which matches most of the buildings in town, but their mint chocolate chip ice cream is basically the best ice cream I've ever had. They also make really, really good sugar cream pie. Get it when it's still fresh, it's a little warm, melts in the mouth. I mean it basically cures any hankering for a sweet tooth. So that's what I ordered- a fresh slice of sugar cream pie. But that was my dessert. They do also have some pretty good not-sweet foods. Their lunch menu is alright but their breakfast food is really where it's at. And they do that breakfast all day thing, so I got their breakfast platter which is really, really good food.

On my way home, I bumped into Darius. He's the son of some local farmers in town. His dads have an apple orchard, on top of everything else. The Enclosure actually keeps tabs on their farm, because no matter what his dad John plants, apples always grow. I mean no matter what John plants. He could plant pumpkin seeds in the fall but no apple trees are gonna spring up and I'll be damned if those aren't the best apples. I mean sometimes crab apples grow instead, he can't really control what kind of apples grow, but John has found a way to make crab apples into really good apple pies and ciders and stuff. I've heard they make good jams and jellies, but he perfected a crab apple pie. He said it's “just a lot of love” but I think there's something with those apple trees. But again, not my department to figure it out. Darius and I made small talk. The weather, mostly. So mostly just complaining about how it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so humid or if we just had a nice breeze, but the shade does help. He always makes excuses to talk to me. I'm not complaining, but that does seem to be a thing around town is everyone makes excuses to talk to everybody. Like the one time that Holly stopped me in the middle of the road to chat when we were passing each other. It's a community norm, I guess, but Darius always wants to talk again. I'm not complaining, he's a really nice conversational partner we can chat about just about anything with certain obvious restrictions. He knows I work at the Enclosure, but folks in town seem to think it's some hoity-toity but shady government job. I don't really think we're tied to the government, per se, but whatever lie they've told the towns is just what I stick with. Whether or not they believe that is entirely another story. He knows I'm a scientist, but he thinks i'm more of an environmental natural scientist instead of a supernatural scientist. I guess whether or not he believes that is an entirely other story too, but we don't really talk about work much. On my end I don't bring it up and while he does talk about working on the family farm from time to time, especially because they expect for him to take over, he tries to find other things to talk about. He's gone back to school recently. They recently in town set up a sort of trade school, I guess, where if anyone's considered a master in town they can teach classes to teach other people in whatever skills they have to share. Seems Darius is taking a bit of a Home Ec class, I guess, sewing and cooking and things like that. He said that he's great with his hands in the field but he really wants to round out his hand skills. He then awkwardly chuckled after that but I don't understand why. I mean it's completely respectable to want to be able to stitch up your own clothes or actually have a nice dinner besides the reheated leftovers left on your doorstep or to know what to do when your microwave catches fire. Honestly, I don't really know what all they teach in those classes. I'd never even heard of something like a Home Ec class until Darius told me about it. I wonder if I ever took one. If i wasn't so busy with work I would actually look into taking classes. I like to learn and Darius even said that he'd be more than happy to help me with anything if I needed it which is nice. But I'm a really fast learner. I actually get bored a lot because of it. I don't see why anyone would need five months or years of training or educating. No, I can see why. I also just know that I am the anomaly. When I forgot everything and had to relearn how to read I was at a 10th grade reading level. By what, just a few weeks? And then I was at college level again in a matter of a month. But even though I was relearning stuff quick I never remembered anything. I never remembered books I've read before the incident, I never remembered learning how to read the first time, I just was quickly relearning how to read. I don't even know if you would consider remembering how to read. I mean I'm never remembering anything. I don't even remember the creature that I was working with in the incident. And no one will tell me anything, because they said they want me to remember organically, or something like that. They said they feared something like a trauma, whiplash? I really don't understand it and it just pisses me off more than anything. But Dr. Daman won't budge. No one will let me look over any files of the incident or files on the other lab techs who died. They slapped this key around my neck and said, “here, to keep your brain in check. Oh, you literally remember nothing? Well tough luck, see this therapist and see what happens!” Ugh. They said if it weren't for my weird powers then the incident would have killed me too. They said they don't know why I have this ability to rebound from death like it nearly never happened but they sure are willing to use my ability for work.

Right, the key. Uh, when I woke up the first thing the doctors did was have me wear it around my neck. It’s on some sort of sturdy red cord. I've never taken the thing off in years. You would think that it may have faded a bit or that the cord would have worn, but no. Cord is still sturdy and the key is just as shiny as the day they gave it to me, which isn't that shiny, it was a bit tarnished already, but hasn't gotten any more tarnished. It's supposed to keep my brain in check after the effects of, well, the incident. Dr. Daman says that if I take it off, I risk unlearning absolutely everything that I've learned in the last two years. I don't know why the key is supposed to be the thing that does this, but this is the only time that death has ever made me lose everything, so I figured what's the harm in wearing it. Not like it hurts to wear or anything.

Darius has asked me about it before though. Not when we first met or anything but after multiple times of running into each other he finally asked. I get asked about it a lot but I just say that it's a familial trinket and they tend to just leave it be. But darius had asked after we'd shared a few drinks at a local bar and even though I have a bit of a high tolerance for alcohol and never stay drunk long, he seemed to ask at just the right moment for me to open up a bit more, I guess. I said it's a comfort item, which I guess isn't exactly the whole truth, I actually honestly hate this thing. A constant reminder of all the things that I've forgotten. But I guess there's slight comfort and knowing that because of this key everything that I've relearned will stick. They say it's important to understand all that you don't know, but I know all too well that I've got at least 20 years of things that I don't remember. But hey, with this key I guess i can rebuild that. I must have seemed uncomfortable about this question where he was satisfied with that answer because Darius let it go after that, but I catch him staring at it sometimes. He's asked what I know about skeleton keys, and all things considered I didn't know much, at least didn't remember. He told me that his dads both told him about the powers that keys hold, not just to lock things but even more importantly to unlock them. That a skeleton key could lock or unlock any door to a given building, no matter what other keys people had, commonly used by cleaners and inn owners and stuff like that. He really seems fixated on the idea and I guess the symbolism is a bit striking with my current situation considering... whatever. The less he knows the better. It would be nice to talk to someone outside of the enclosure about more personal stuff from time to time but I can't go around spilling secrets.

Right, my day. Uh, lunch, talked with Darius, uh... after about 15 minutes of “all right I should get going”-s and taking a few steps apart, starting to have talked about other topics and repeating the process, I finally started home. On my way home I drove past some corn fields and various other pastures. The Enclosure gave me a house near the edge of town because after a year of rigorous relearning I didn't want to live in their communal housing anymore. It's not too far from Darius's family orchard and farm which is nice. Nicest farm in the area, in my opinion. There's no real rivalry between the farmers, at least nothing too intense. But something about those trees in the distance out of my window is really relaxing. All the cattle I passed on my way home had moved to face the same direction near the fences and stared into the distance mindlessly grazing. That and the clouds rolling in were very strong indicators that there was going to be a heck of a storm tonight. I didn't listen to the weather announcement this morning but the sky's only gotten darker now so i'm ready to sleep like the dead tonight. But when I was pulling into my driveway I saw something rustling in the bushes by my front door. I thought maybe it was a squirrel or a rabbit or something but then two tiny hands parted the leaves and I saw one of those black-eyed children just sitting there staring at me. I normally only see them at night. I guess it was waiting for me to come home to loiter on my doorsteps or something, I don't know. When I got out of the car I was surprised when it actually climbed out of the bush and just rigidly stared at me with those lifeless black eyes. I got my stuff out of my car and made my way to the door, but it was kind of standing in the way. I just slid on by it with a muttered apology and slipped inside before I could start whispering requests for entrance. Never making that mistake again. No matter how much I want to let them in my house got all sorts of messed up last time and I got a heck of a scolding at work when they found out. I don't shoo them away, but I don't let them in anymore. It was really weird, they normally only come knocking or waiting by the sides of the road at night, I had never seen one in the middle of the afternoon. Once I got settled in I pulled out a book, a crossword book I was gifted at the last community bonfire. I blow through these things really fast but I really like them, so Christine gave me like five of them, all different, claimed that she found the most difficult ones that she could find, which is really sweet. She even wrote little notes on the inside cover of each of them so I've ended up actually keeping them when i'm done so I can reread her notes when I need a little pick-me-up. Whether a crossword book or a little box of treats she always writes uplifting notes and anecdotes inside any gifts she gives anyone, all signed with the most beautiful cursive- “with love, Christine Torres”. She really mothers everyone in town, at least that's what I've noticed. This one is a real toughy, which I like. That's mostly what I've been up to since I got home. I decided that I'd take a break from doing, well, this. Dr. Daman was adamant about me giving it a shot so here we are. Me, myself and I. Oh sorry, hold on, work email. (Whispered: who am i even apologizing to?) Well now, wait a minute. A new lab partner? Dr. Gia Castillo. Why the hell did they give me a new lab partner? I guess I'm meeting her in the morning. I hate it when Todd pulls this, but I’ve got no say in the matter. The usual. But I hate sudden change.

I'm tired, I'm reheating some food Mrs. Weddington gave me and going to bed. I can hear the thunder starting to get louder and that kid outside tapping on my door so I guess I should try and get some sleep. Guess I'll talk to you later? This is actually kind of nice, saying whatever I want without worries. (little laugh) I'm already dreading tomorrow. Well this is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off, I guess.

[tapping sounds, and sounds of thunder, as we fade into the outro]

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr Jared Hel. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has also created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

9 notes · View notes