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jasdiary · 2 months

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me hiding how mentally ill this made me

Seeing Her

(Central) Characters Featured: Juvia Yuyi Espejo, Sumeragi Yuuta

↳ { Juvia belongs to @/jasdiary }

Others mentioned/featured: ‘Rei-Rei’, Deuce Spade

↳ { ‘Rei-Rei’ also belongs to @/jasdiary }

Pairing(Platonic): Juvia & Yuuta, ‘Rei-Rei’ & Yuuta || Pairing: Juvia Espejo & Deuce Spade

Event: Valentine's Day 2024 💌

↳ Type: Non-requested Oneshot! 「 N/A 」

Synopsis: Sometimes, certain wounds don't heal. And that every scar holds its own story; Even the ones that aren't so visible.

Warning(s): Angst 💃, Yuuta lore crumbs, Yuuta reliving his childhood through Juvia but in an angsty way, Juvia just being a nice concerned bestie, potentially ooc, implied JuviDeu

〈 NOTICE: The character of ‘Rei-Rei’ is an unreleased character of @/Jasdiary, and therefore, details of them will be kept vague until their release!! 〉

[ Apologies for any out of character moments ]

[ Reblogs > Likes ]

†•°•══════ஓ๑「❀」๑ஓ══════•°•†

Yuuta had been acting strange.

Perhaps it was odd for Juvia to make that kind of assumption, but truth be told, in all her months of having Sumeragi Yuuta as a roommate — he'd never been so… Distant.

To be fair, they weren't that kind of duo. They weren't the kind of duo to be like brother and sister, the kind with a bond that was so inseparable, it potentially transcended universes.

While it rang true that Yuuta did care about Juvia a great deal, she never really saw it within each other to try and strengthen whatever bond they had.

To both of them — Yuuta especially — the dynamic they had was good enough. They got along well, and while disagreements were made, they were quick to resolve. They weren't close but they weren't strangers, either.

Which was why Juvia was so on the fence about talking to Yuuta about his current behavior! It was just so weird!

Yuuta — haughty, petty, greedy Yuuta — acting emotionally constipated and distant out of the blue? If you'd have told Juvia something along those lines, she'd be laughing in your face!

On a particular hour of one fateful day, Juvia was trying to get her mind off of whatever ‘thinky thoughts’ she'd come to conclusions about.

While Trein was busy giving her and… Everyone else, a lecture, Juvia was busy contemplating about whether or not she should actually talk to Yuuta about his sudden burst of emotional distance.

Should I? Juvia asked herself a question she didn't even know the answer to. I mean, I'm worried about him and he usually doesn't act like this, but- It isn't really my business to ask..

And what if he just judges me?? Or what if he ignores me? I mean, this is Yuuta we're talking about, he'll probably just look at me weirdly and tell me it's none of my busine-

“Miss Espejo.”

At the sudden sound of Trein’s voice, Juvia jolted out of her train of thought, awkwardly looking up at the old — much more knowledgeable — professor.

In reply, Trein arched a concerned, yet strict brow. “Is there something you'd like to add to the lecture, Miss Espejo?..”

“I…” Juvia trailed away from whatever excuse came to mind, instead flashing a good little smile at Train and showing off her braces in the process. “N-No, Professor! Nothing at all!..”

In spite of the obvious fact that Juvia wasn't paying attention to his lecture, Trein let it slide; He always had a soft spot for Juvia and he let that fact slip when he left her off the hook.

Unfortunately for Juvia’s valiant efforts in trying to focus on the lecture, they were met with little success — only ending with Juvia back in her own bubble of thoughts, blissfully ignoring some comment Ace made about favoritism.

•❀°─────────°❀•

“I just don't get what's up with him lately…”

“Ehh, I can't blame you,” Deuce walked beside her, his head tilting slightly to the side. “Yuuta's always been hard to read. Other than when money is involved.”

It was one of those rare moments where Juvia and Deuce could just… Hang out. Together. Without Ace being a bother.

Sure, it was enjoyable and she liked the company Deuce offered, but she couldn't help but feel bad that she kept bringing Yuuta into the conversation.

“Yeah, but that's the thing,” Juvia’s shoulders sagged, her back leaning lazily against the couch. “It feels like he's getting harder and harder to get a read on, nowadays..”

Deuce’s lips turned into a thin line, releasing a small hum. “How come?”

“Well-” Did she hesitate? Of course, she did! But Juvia had this weird, unshakable feeling in her chest that she could trust Deuce about something like this.

“He always wakes up early to do Crowley's errands, but lately he's been waking up much earlier than usual…” Juvia’s hesitation became more prevalent the longer she went on, but she needed someone to talk to about it, and Deuce was right there. “Skipping breakfast, staying up late… His routine's been getting really ‘rinse and repeat’, y'know?”

Deuce held her gaze for a moment, the look in his eyes gentle and understanding. “Ah… Do you… Think you know why he's been acting like that, lately?”

The only way she could respond to that was to shake her head. She didn't. She would've asked, but Juvia knew how well that would end — with how stubborn Yuuta could be.

Deuce bit his tongue, looking away from Juvia and trying to think of anything to say that could help her.

She huffed, her head hanging slightly. “I just- Sorry, Deuce,” she gave him an apologetic frown. “I know I'm probably being obnoxious about bringing Yuuta up the entire time, and I really should-”

“N-No! No…” Deuce interrupted as abruptly as he could. While it wasn't deliberate, his hand found its way to Juvia’s shoulder. “You… Y-You don't need to apologize, Juvia.”

“You were just speaking what's on your mind. And… You're just showing your concern for Yuuta, a-and you shouldn't see that as something to feel bad about!”

Before she could even fathom the idea of interrupting, Deuce took her hands in his, looking straight into her eyes with an intensity that almost startled her.

“Whatever anyone says about you— Be it annoying, or whiney, or just downright obnoxious? They're wrong! Dead wrong!” Deuce exclaimed, his voice only a pitch lower from outright yelling the words out. “You aren't annoying, you aren't any of those things!”

“You’re kind, emotional, funny, and so compassionate for the people you care about that I can't help but admire you even more for it.”

Deuce heaved several breaths. All that exclaiming of sentences must've tired his voice out a little, Juvia figured.

“You… Are an amazing person, Juvia. Remember that.” Deuce said between long and heavy breaths. “And you shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling rightfully concerned for Yuuta. I may not know him as well as you do, but I know that you care about him. And I think that's all that matters.”

Juvia stared at him for a long while, taking his words into a quiet minute of consideration.

She shouldn't have felt bad about worrying about Yuuta. They weren't close, but at the end of the day, they were roommates even if they didn't ask to be; And as Yuuta's roommate, Juvia would do anything to ensure she and him didn't have sour relations with one another.

Maybe she wasn't the fastest of thinkers, but Juvia’s had this idea in mind since she started noticing Yuuta's behavior.

She'd get scolded for it, maybe, but it wasn't like she'd be experiencing an extremely petty Yuuta for the first time, either.

And so, her plan was set in motion — ready to take the storm by tomorrow.

She took Deuce's hand in hers, a gentle smile gracing her features that it almost got Deuce to stop breathing, then and there.

“Thanks, Deuce.”

•❀°─────────°❀•

Yuuta's going to kill me for this…

Juvia felt nervous just from walking into the botanical gardens. It was already bad enough after she accidentally stepped on Leona's tail, once upon a time.

But it felt even worse because she knew that Yuuta was lurking around, being a gardener doing regular gardener things!

It was like entering the belly of the beast, for crying out loud!!

She kept her movements quiet, her footsteps especially. It was a known fact among the NRC student body that interrupting Yuuta during his ‘gardening hours’ was the closest thing to a death sentence.

Very few were let off the hook for such a crime. If ever.

Actually- Wait. I don't think Yuuta's ever made an exception. Just thinking about it made Juvia even more scared than she had any right to be.

But that still didn't stop her from entering the botanical gardens, avoiding any places Leona could frequent — and finally finding Yuuta.

He was, at first glance, in pure bliss. Seeing him look so peaceful almost made Juvia forget why she even came in the first place.

No, she shook her head, taking several steps towards him with words ready to flood out of her mouth. I have to do this.

“Hey- Yuuta?”

“Oh, Juvia,” there it was: Sumeragi Yuuta's winning smile that was probably ingrained in Crowley's mind every other day. “What brings you here? You know better than to interru-”

“What's been going on, Yuuta?”

He blinked. Several times, Yuuta blinked his eyes, a sudden stiffness visible in the way he presented himself. Juvia may or may not start to regret this plan but she wanted nothing more than for Yuuta to just tell her what was going on with him recently.

“... Sorry?” Yuuta laughed a humorless chortle. Juvia noticed him taking a slight step back.

“Sorry- Juvie, but I don't know what you mean.”

She crossed her arms, lips pursing nervously. “I’m pretty sure you do. You need to tell me what's been up with you lately.”

“I told you already, I'm fine.”

“No, you said you didn't know what I meant. There's something going on, Yuuta, and I feel like I should know.”

“Juvia, this isn't any of your business-”

“I feel like it is, Yuuta!” That's when Juvia finally threw anything she had to say out of the window. “What, is it because of me?? Am I the reason you're being so distant???”

Yuuta's mouth gaped open. “What? Juvia, I-”

“Yuuta, please!” Word vomit. Just- A flurry of words rushed out of her mouth that she didn't know if she could stop. “Am I the reason?? Have I been bothering you- Am I bothering you?”

“Because if it is, you know better than to just keep me in the dark about it! I don't care what you think of me, Yuuta, I just want to know what the hell is up with your behavior!”

She breathed in and out, but that concern seemed to transition into frustration that he still wasn't cooperating. “You've been so distant recently! You barely even talk to me anymore, let alone acknowledge my presence!”

Juvia took one big step towards Yuuta, holding him by his upper arms. “Yuuta, please,” she pleaded with him, even if she was scared of what he'd say. “Just tell me…”

Yuuta stood there, stunned with his head hung low. His lips parted, the words he'd been avoiding to tell her finally spilling out from its cup.

“There was a girl,” — he said with a softness to his voice that felt uncanny — “before I came here, I knew a girl. We've been friends since forever, and… I only stopped seeing her during my second year of middle school.”

Juvia said nothing, cautiously letting him go and giving Yuuta permission to continue. “Her name… I liked to call her ‘Rei-Rei’, a lot. I used it more than I did her real name.”

“Rei-Rei was… She was this burst of energy that was always hard to properly describe. She was witty, funny, and so, so unafraid.”

He looked down at the vines of a plant he'd been watering until now. “... She used to be. I don't know, now.”

“I fucked up with Rei-Rei, Juvia. I made some stupid mistakes, and in the process, I lost her.”

Juvia didn't understand a thing. She knew the story Yuuta was trying to tell her, but she didn't understand why she was being told something so… Personal.

It irritated her, in a way. But irritation faded into heartbreak at the way Yuuta's voice broke when he said he ‘lost’ this girl.

Then he looked back at her, her heart aching at the level of nostalgia in his eyes when he did. A nostalgic look that Juvia couldn't properly find a grasp on.

Yuuta went closer to her, holding the side of her face with one hand, the other one falling to his side.

He smiled, that same look of nostalgia still on his face, even as his voice broke another time.

“... Sometimes I see her, too much of her, in you.”

†•°•══════ஓ๑✬๑ஓ══════•°•†

Taglist

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Written for

@jasdiary

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🥥

@starry-night-rose || @authoruio || @nem0-nee || @fumikomiyasaki || @sakuramidnight15

—

「 Etteilla ♢」 (+ Others)

@geminiiviolets || @twsted-princess || @hallowed-delights / @terrovaniadorm || @mystery-skulls-ghost || @abyss-wonderer || @twistedsongstressofstarz / @absolutelyobsessedkiya

@cecilebutcher

#ROSIE EVERYDAY U GIVE ME A REASON TO KEEP COMING TO THIS HELLSITE #I LOVE U SO MUCH #YHIS WAS BEAUTIFUL #FUCK I LOVE LORE #REI-REI MENTION🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥WHAT YHE FUCK IS A CHILDHOOD FRIEND‼️‼️‼️#Rosie genuinely thank u so much for still thinking ab me enough to write this for me😭😭😭#UR THE SWEETEST #TRUST ONCE I BECOME MORE ACTIVE UR GETTING BOMBARDED #JUVIDEU IN MY 2024!!!!!!REAL!!!!!#FUCK THIS MADE ME SAD BUT I LOVED IT #BASHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL #THE LAST LINE #what if i shoot myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣#putting this in my secret files

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jasdiary · 3 months

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HOT THINGS HE DOES FOR YOU ── deuce spade + gn!reader,

i. runs a hand through his hair and curses like a sailor when an algebra problem has been bothering him for too long. it messes up all his hard work in maintaining his appearance from this morning, but he’s far too upset to care. this goes for any moment of frustration for him too. sometimes his hair is so messy, you can catch the few strands of faded blond that he had failed to cover up when he dyed his hair before nrc, like the hints of his delinquent past are peeking through in more ways than one. there’s a frustrated look in his eyes that you’re a little guilty to admit you’re attracted to, and the way he spits out words definitely unexpected from an honour student makes your heart race in the strangest way … though, if you try catch his attention, he’s back to the deuce you know ─ wide doe eyes and a little lost. it makes your head spin, in the best way.

ii. takes your bags or anything that looks like it weighs more than necessary and carries them from you without even asking. most of the time this happens mid-conversation, like when he catches up with you at the hallway on your way to your next class. you’d engage in casual conversation, and suddenly he’s gently taking the straps of your bag and tugging it out of your hands, holding it in your stead while never breaking eye contact as he listens to you ramble about crewel's last lecture. and if you hold out your hand for him to give back your bag, he might just flush a little bit red and move your bag to his other side hastily, intertwining your fingers with his as he tugs you along gently to continue your journey, like he'd rather "embarrass himself" by pulling such a bold move rather than letting you carry your own stuff.

iii. always asks if it’s okay to kiss you. you’re sure than a decade could pass by, and he’d still be just as shy when it comes to kissing you. even when you give him your permission, he starts off with a shy brush of his lips against your own, a little peck or two, before diving back for more. he’ll ask every single time too. "are you sure? is it okay? can i really kiss you?" you’re not sure if your heart is pounding because of his lovely consideration of you or the fact that he can never find it in himself to stop asking for more once you let him have it the first time.

iv. starts bringing along his old leather jacket for you when you visit his hometown in the early spring or autumn. he says he brings it just in case you get cold, but you’re not oblivious enough that you don’t notice how the street punks keep their distance after doing a double take when they see you clad in the deuce spade’s leather jacket– some of them even offer their help with your groceries without being asked. it’s sort of funny and actually rather helpful in keeping out of trouble, but at the end of the day, you realise that deuce doesn’t see draping his old leather jacket over your shoulders as an act of possessiveness, but rather a way to keep you safe and protected in a subtle way. somehow, that sends your heart racing even more than the thought of him being possessive over you.

v. has an entire section of notes in his phone dedicated to you; like his regular school notes, messy and disorganised, but they’re filled with everything you could imagine. general things you like, little details of his day that reminded him of you, songs to put in playlists for you, and even pictures of stuff that you looked at while you were grocery shopping together. it’s complete with little observations and notes like they like to have the window seat but don’t want to bother people by asking, so let them board first so they can take it for themselves or they seem to like this type of snacks. maybe ask mom to send some of that one brand from the store back home in her next package. it’s the little but dedicated actions that show how much he really cares for you.

#clawing at the floor so hard there are scratch marks

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