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[jasleenblog]

Airport

The one place where I see so many people of different cultures and backgrounds around me, so many colors, so much love, hope and joy. I love flying. I love spending time at airports because I get to experience so many lives. I live what people around me feel and who would miss a chance to experience so many beautiful emotions?

I see the mother who carefully places her 4-5 year old kid on top of the stack of suitcases on the trolley giving him a ride towards the gate. The child experiences so much joy; I can feel it in my heart. The father of the child waits for them at the gate - the hugs, the unspent tears, the kisses that follow, are expressions and emotions so strong that overwhelm me only by looking at them.

I see the woman clad in the burkha hugging a man who I think is her husband. She cannot stop sobbing. I believe she is taking an international transfer. There was once when I hugged my ex at the Mumbai airport and cried like a baby before the security checking, not caring what people thought. The way it pains to let go of someone you love so deeply and knowing you would never see them again. You want to hold on to them so tight that you can etch that in your memory forever. Not trying to get carried away with my past – the lady in the Burkha - she hugs her husband and cries so hard that I am forced to pray to God to ease her of her pain. The husband trying to not cry, ultimately gives away and starts crying too. Its so overwhelming and painful, but at the same time I am hopeful. Lately, I had been feeling that true love had ceased to exist. The practicalities of life can make us take decisions that hurt so much, but we take them anyway because “it’s the right and practical thing to do, isn’t it?”. But the couple, who cried in each other arms were clearly in love. And love made me hopeful. Hopeful for myself and for the couple that they would meet and spend the rest of their lives together.

I talk to the Costa Coffee sales girl who surely loves to chat. I tell her that I am going to be at the airport till evening. I am waiting for my parents and brother and we would head to Ludhiana together. She exclaims that she is from Ludhiana and starts telling me how much she misses home. Its been her first time out of home and she asks me to take her along with me. I told her she is most welcome to join us. She talks about Ludhiana and how her parents want to get her married. She comes from a village and the boy who they want her to get married to, does not want her to wear jeans. With anguish in her tone, she says, “I am frustrated, I don’t want to get married. There are so many restrictions after getting married. I just ask my parents to call me home, not get me married, but let me be at home and spend time with my family. I don’t even like working here alone”. I feel so lucky to not have been going through this time of my life. I immediately thank God to have given me such amazing parents, who have supported me despite facing every odd one could think of. I know it has been a tough journey for them, but they kept going for me, for us (I have a younger brother who is an amazing guitarist and I am sure that one day he is going to rock the world with his music). My father who comes from conditioning where it is difficult to support anything beyond studies, buys my brother a guitar whenever my brother wants one and I feel blessed. Blessed that there is so much love in the family, that we are ready to break every shackle. It is this love that has helped us reach pinnacles in life. No wonder my parents are happier than I am for my admission to UT Austin for a doctorate degree. It is as if all their dreams have come alive because I got through a good college with a funding. It might not be great deal for people around me , but for my parents it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to them. I knew it when my mom told me, “I would not have been so happy if you were getting married. This means more to me that you could ever know”. She could not go for her Mphil despite getting into the best college during her times because her family did not allow her. I don’t think I could feel even 1% of the joy she must be experiencing when I am doing what she couldn’t. I think I would know it when I have kids of my own.

Two women- one middle aged and the other old come and sit across me. They are Sardarnis and the old lady looks exactly like my grandmom. The same silver shining hair, the similar light colored clothes, the same gait. When the middle-aged lady goes to buy some food for them, the old lady initiates a conversation with me in Punjabi. She asks me where I am from. She tells me that she was born and brought up in Malaysia and is here to visit the golden temple and would stay in Amritsar for a week. I reply to her question. I tell her that I have come from Bhopal and am waiting for my parents to come from Siliguri. My brother would come from Noida and we would go for my sister’s wedding. She them bombs me with the question that their generation can never stop themselves from asking – “Are you married?”. I say no – and she says “All of you stay so far away from each other. That just does not seem right”. I smile, and I don’t know what to say to her. I then continue typing on my laptop and both these women continue talking to each other about aloo tikki, rasmalai and Chandigarh’s aloo parathas. We sardars are all and always about food, even if we hail from any damn part of the world!!

I look at a lady in the wheel chair. I feel sympathetic, but then I don’t. I want to feel empathetic and not sympathetic. Working in the research sector with the unprivileged, I have trained myself to not pity, but learn. Learn to look at her smile, despite being in the wheel chair. Look beyond the wheels at her strengths, the way she would struggle to get up one floor – something that we don’t even spend a moment thinking about. I wonder how helpless she must feel to be dependent on someone to carry out minimal tasks in her life. I would have preferred dying over being dependent, but to be dependent comes with so much strength. I realize that humans need to be dependent to lead a fulfilling life. Some less, some more. But dependence, and to accommodate others in your lives is a highly difficult and a highly valued strength. More important than being independent is to learn the skill of being dependent. That’s what I decide today – to try and accommodate more people in my life. To be more dependent and to accept that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to sometimes say that I need help in doing something – who knows what life has in store for use. If I am independent in everything that I do today and tomorrow I land in a wheel chair, how would I even gather the strength to just ask?

While I am taking my emotions out on the laptop, I see a family who is waiting for their taxi driver to arrive. From the way they speak, I understand that the Uncle’s phone’s battery is almost dead. He doesn’t even have a charger (I think of how in our generation we could go without clothes but not without our chargers and a backup power bank!). I offer to charge his phone with my USB cord connecting it to my laptop. He thanks me as if I he had won a lottery. You know it’s the little things that matter most. A hug cannot be replaced with anything when what you need is a hug. A smile and an assuring nod of a loved one cannot be replaced with money when you are low on confidence. When you sit at home and everything seems wrong, and there is a call from a friend who forces you to come out of your home, takes you for a lovely outing, cracks the silliest jokes ever and makes you forget about your worries – could never be replaced with probably anything I could think of. Someone offering to charge your phone when you need to talk to your taxi driver who could arrive anytime is more important than money. (Now don’t argue that if someone gave you money you could have used the payphone at the airport to call your taxi driver - you get my point – so much for thinking smart!! – and yeah, how would you know what your taxi driver’s number was unless you had written it somewhere?)

I look around and see people. I see buses and people in the airport bus shuttles. I see people in a rush, people who are taxi drivers and are waiting with placards. I see people grabbing a coffee before they head out. I see people with Delhi Duty free bags (wondering about the amount of alcohol they must have bought!). I see policemen – some with a smiling face, some tired after the night’s shift (I landed during early hours), some grumpy, some who greet every passenger as they leave the airport. I see dogs sniffing around (for drugs?) – I want to go and hug them – but I don’t want to end up being bitten, so I control myself! I see the cleaning staff in the washroom which I have used three times in the past 5 hours now. I see visitors, eager to see their loved ones. Here’s what I feel – happy and grateful. Grateful to be given the opportunity that I can express. Grateful to be able to give words to my feelings, happy to know that I am strong, happy to realize that despite the extra emotional and over sensitive being that I am, that’s what’s so unique about me. I am happy that I work hard and am honest. Happy that I feel for people around me. Happy that when I see an old man walking on a hot scorching summer day, I not only feel how drenched he must be, I offer to buy him food so that he continues his journey. I am grateful that I have been given the ability to look around and be a source of joy to someone. Grateful that despite failing in love so hard, I still could love and care deeply. I count my blessings everyday realizing that God made me a beautiful soul, a soul who most people trust and look at as a listening and calming presence. Happy to be able to look for happiness when things aren’t that great, happy to be able to look at the silver lining when the sky is covered with dark, black, depressing and angry clouds. I am grateful to know that despite being just a tiny dot in the enormous world, I am blessed to make people around me happy and to make a difference even if it is small!

[jasleenblog]

Bhopal

She told me yesterday, “I don’t think I could do this anymore, I am scared to begin a new life with no people around me, no friends. You will leave in 2 months and my heart sinks to think I might be all alone and become an alcoholic”.

I had a flashback – in 2 minutes I recapped my life in Bhopal – its been more than two years. I have led life – adapted and learnt and become a different person all together. But I survived – actually did better than that. I worked so hard initially that I did not have time to think that there was something called loneliness that could affect me at all. With time however, when I became efficient at my work, I had time. Time to fall sick, time to explore new things, time to decide what to do with myself – be sad that there are only two people around I see in the office every day or do something to make myself a better person. I chose the second. I joined Zumba classes, met new women (it was an only female thing and there were women and girls of all ages). It was a different experience to see so many generations in one place. I met two women who really had a very great impact on my life – one woman who was always so happy. She was a diabetic but her life seemed to be a fairy tale when she said how much her husband loved her. I had never ever seen a frown or a hint of sadness on her face. Until one day when I went to her house and realized that she was a victim of domestic violence and was pressured to have a baby which her womb was not ready for (she was diabetic and she survived on insulin). She was not allowed to adopt. The husband was having an affair with some other women and the couple had not slept together since a very long time now. She taught me something- you get your life only once – how much ever trouble you are in – smile through it, live each day as if it was your last- she was one woman who really did it.

The other woman is a child specialist. And I cannot even begin to talk about how much of a support she has been to me in Bhopal. She literally gave me a roof over my head, medications and unconditional love that has made me feel extremely special and blessed.

I started working out of bake and shake at 10 number market which became my favorite spot. I love it there. I can concentrate best when there are so many people around me but none of them know me – neither do I. When I need to take a break, all I need is to look around and see people living their lives. Sometimes I used to get jealous when I saw a couple hold hands or a family celebrate birthdays – (I have not celebrated my birthday with my parents since years now and I have always craved for it or have an actual relationship where I am loved deeply). But then I counted my blessings and wished them best. I kept saying to myself all this while, “Success is not easy, it is a struggle and who said struggle would not mean an emotional drain?” In two years of my life in Bhopal I realized what a panic attack felt like. It was so bad, that I could actually feel my heart constrict and sink and pain - I would go to the washroom and puke and cry and then become my own therapist – smile and tell myself to be patient. My parents always saw the rosy picture – they thought I was the happiest person in the world, but I think when we grow old we learn to hide our feelings from our loved ones because they care and we would not want to see them hurt.

But if it was me smiling when at the same time struggling to live by- I realised there would be so many. Again, with growing up and facing problems in life, we start empathizing. I talk to people around me and with a lot of love and affection, hoping that probably that could just make someone’s day. It does for me! Just a call from a friend, a good greeting by my ola driver makes me happy! I now greet people all the time-it surprises them but surely brings a smile on their face. I was talking to my gym trainer the other day and asked him what he does when he is not at the gym. He told me that he is preparing to participate in the Mr. India contest. After 5 minutes of talking he opened up about not knowing English really well. I offered to teach him. We only speak in English now. And he is an amazing student. He revises everything while we stretch and sometimes during the day, randomly whatsapps me confirming something we had learnt that morning. He looks forward to see me every morning- I bring smile on his face. Do you know how just a small act of giving something that is just a language for me, does to both of us? It brings him hope and joy. It brings me happiness to see someone happy because of me. My trainer is so adorable as a student that I feel like going to the gym every morning not to exercise, but to teach him!

That’s what we do right – we touch lives of people in a way that brings them joy and ultimately brings us joy – that’s what I have learnt despite the everyday struggles. To keep going and not being self-centered. 1 minute spent on developing your relationships might take away MIT from you, but would give you a friend when you most need and UT Austin. (at least that’s what happened with me). But I worked really hard, touched a lot of lives in the way that gave both the parties (I am an economics student, bear with the jargon) happiness, living in the moment, letting each pass by like a cool breeze that added to my personality, my nature, my patience.

Bhopal is a peaceful place and I have started to love it in a way that words cannot express. This place has taught things in life that no university, no home, no other place could. It has taught me to balance. Balance professional and personal. Balance emotions and practicality. Balance reality and fantasies. Balance health and work. It has taught me to enjoy my own company. It has taught me the art of homemaking. It has taught me that there will heartbreaks, phases of low self-esteem and yes, the worst of all panic attacks (God, I hate them so much), I have to get up as I always have and always will. It has taught me no matter what, you keep going, no matter however constant the lake might be, it has ripples every microsecond - just like the moments in our lives that keep changing however constant a phase in our life might look. It has made me a better version of me and even though I sometimes miss the innocence that I came here with- it has prepared me to accept realities in life and lead a fulfilling life.

[jasleenblog]

My experiences in the field

“Tum school jaati ho?” (“Do you go to school?”), I asked one of the little girls who looked around 13-14 years old. “Nai didi, jaati thi par chor dia: ghar ka kaam karti hun” (“I used to go but left: I do household chores now”), she replied.

The year 2016 has been a J-PAL year and well, it has been like a roller coaster ride, of learning new things, meeting new people and realizing that there is a lot more to India than we see. The project I ventured into taught me intricacies of field research in a very short span of time. I am working on the project, “Disconnected and Uninformed: Dissecting and Dismantling India’s Gender Gap in Social and Political Empowerment”. The Principal Investigator on this project is Soledad Artiz Prillaman who is a Phd student at Harvard. We aim to see via an RCT in 5 districts of Madhya Pradesh, the impact of PRADAN’s (our implementation partner) gender interventions on women’s political and social empowerment. I got connected with Soledad in January 2016. I had recently graduated out of CDS and was really interested in pursuing Development Economics. The J-PAL opportunity was a right fit for what I wanted to do, and to put into use what I had learnt for almost 5 years of my education in Economics.

This job has been an enriching experience every single day. When we were doing our baseline in May-June 2016, I visited a few villages to oversee the work that our surveyors were doing. In one of those visits in Shahpur Block of Betul district in MP, I had the opportunity to very informally, interact with young boys and girls about their aspirations in life. While one girl who was the daughter of a sarpanch wanted to become a police woman and wanted to go to Bhopal for training, there were many who could not even study. Either, they were not allowed or they had to help with household chores while both parents went to the fields. Elder sisters took care of the younger kids when both parents were away. They cooked, cleaned, fetched water and gas. My emotions welled up on seeing their overwhelming reaction when I clicked their pictures. Mobiles were something that were so new that they were awestruck to find how a camera worked.  Some young girls were so happy to have their pictures clicked that they would dress and tell me, “Didi, Ab photo loge?”. (Now, could you click a picture?), and their happiness knew no bounds. This was an intellectually stimulating and an exciting experience

Being a part of J-PAL I have learnt to multitask. I had to manage team of surveyors, supervisors, monitors; be their HR, their trainer, their moral support, and a leader to them. The project work provided me with valuable hands-on experience, also the opportunity to apply the knowledge and skills I had acquired as a student of Economics. This field requires a person to develop hard core corporate skills, while keeping intact the soft, people skills. J-PAL research team encourages innovative ideas and critical problem-solving skills, without forgetting that we should serve the community in the best possible way.

The fact that we can make a change urges me to push myself harder. This year has been an effort to make that change that I have believed in. To try and change the situation of women in this country. When I meet kids and their parents in the village and tell them that they should study, I know I have made my contribution. When just my presence makes, them feel that their kids can become what I am today, if they study, I know I have made my contribution. Apart from a great work experience I have gained transferable skills, confidence, motivation, and work habit. I would also encourage other students to apply for such programs and get a broad range of experiences.

[jasleenblog]

Why Big Data - A Simple Answer!

I see a lot of questions these days that revolve around why “Big data” is important. There are questions that ask reasons to as to why one should take up a career as a data scientist. There are blogs that will tell you in simple steps as to how one can become a data scientist, infographics that make the whole affair look really amazing and attractive.

Well, there is nothing wrong with it. The word Big Data is attractive and I have completely fallen in love with it. Every day that I see data, I wonder and day dream of what I can do with it, if I know how to play with it and if I have a great sense of creativity.

I wonder how some random numbers, letters and even images combine to become ‘the Big data’ that the world is so zealously talking about. Once you have the data, imagination is your limit. My boss is an amazing data scientist and if he collects data on daily observations that he makes of me, there is a 99% chance that he would correctly predict when I might perform and when I might not. I will know what to wear for office everyday instead of spending the priceless 15 mins in front of the cupboard over-filled with clothes, if I perform a ‘Sentiment Analysis’ given the data on daily observations.

Data tells the Government where the poor are, it clearly points at what targets to be achieved and half the battle is won when you know what the problem is. Data can help you eradicate deadly diseases, help you with the most critical of your findings. It can help you accept your hypothesis that there is a ‘Pluto’ and be happy with it and at the same time disappoint you when it would reject the hypothesis that a ‘Pluto’ ever existed! Data can make wonders happen. It can predict behaviors, it can predict weather, it can predict who will be the next President, it can predict when will Earth no more exist, it can answer why you failed in each exam while the last bencher always stood first – it can answer difficult questions when modeled and make a simple thing look very beautiful and attractive when visualized with the right tools.

There is a lot more to data than what my small sized brain can even think of. And that is the best part. It is an exciting hobby for me these days to explore the intricacies of that random number or image that will make a difference. It thrills me to realize the do-ability of data when I learn a new aspect of how to manipulate it. I love playing with data and if you want to play with it too, go ahead become a data scientist.

Well, I just answered the most cited question, “Why to become a data scientist?”

[jasleenblog]

“Crowd Sourcing and Data Analytics: Where million minds meet and mine data”

Crowd sourcing is a process. A process that begins with a person who needs services and ends with him receiving the services. The services are provided by a community who in order to learn, or in return for an incentive, renders service. It is different from traditional employees providing services. It involves a “crowd” of online service providers who interact on a platform to analyze and solve.

Crowd sourcing in data analytics is an upcoming field and I must say, a very promising field. Here, I am not thinking of an individual or a company, but of the “crowd” that gets to learn, solve, earn, and keep on learning. Companies like CrowdANALYTIX, Kaggle, Topcoder, Innocentive outsource data analytics projects to the public by hosting them as competitions on their platforms. Community members participate to win competitions. The incentive to win competitions is the attractive prize money if it’s a client based project. The incentive to participate in the contests is to learn analytics for free!! These companies share the best models codes/ scripts on their sites, where any one (literally any one!) can view them and learn where they went wrong, or come up with new methods of mining data. Also, some of these companies like CrowdANALYTIX and Kaggle host “Learning Contests” and “Knowledge contests” respectively, which involve no payment or receipt of money. However, they are for the sole purposes of imparting Machine Learning knowledge to the solvers. 

The advantages of the ‘crowdsourcing- Data Analytics’ combo according to me are many. Firstly, the process is comparatively less expensive than the traditional process of employees solving projects for their client. Also, with a very few skilled data analysts, offering projects to the community leaves open new possibilities and methods to go about the same problem. The company can choose the best solutions to be offered to the client. Secondly, the solvers/ participants get to learn a lot. With a fun cum incentive system at place, the solvers get to do build models on ‘Real data’ and do a lot of experimenting with it. Who wouldn’t want to learn and be paid for it!!The solvers are also incentivized to learn soft wares like R, Python, Tableau etc. Companies like CrowdANALYTIX also host Research Contests. These contests entail the solvers to put on their Research hats, formulate hypothesis, state factors supporting/ defying their arguments and search for data sources to validate their arguments with data sets. You can have look at one of my favorite Research contests here.

A perfect balance of academics and industry, this combo has a lot of scope in coming years. With the realization that “Big data” is everywhere, “Big data Analysts” should also be everywhere!! And of course these contests and sharing of knowledge via contest platforms is the best place to start. Are you inspired? You sure are. Join communities and start solving. A lot of data is waiting to be mined and grilled by you……

[jasleenblog]

Why read Poor Economics?

You should read Poor Economics (by Abhijit Banerjee and Esther Duflo, both are Professors of Economics at MIT) if you want to get a firsthand experience of how the poor live their lives. The book gives a beautiful perspective on all aspects of the how poverty prevails, what is the vicious cycle attached to poverty and how (and why) the decisions of the poor are different from those of non-poor. Banerjee and Duflo have touched upon every factor that affects the poor and vice-versa, affected by poverty. With the help of real life examples and experiences, the book converts theory and models into stories that can be read by both economists and non- economists.

The book brings out the relation between nutrition and poverty and how changes in income bring about changes in choice of food. What affects the decisions of the poor when it comes to health care? Is it rationality or faith? Are the poor rational given the little information that they have and the amount of modern technologies they have? Are their decisions the right ones when it comes to prevention and cure? What is the role of education in the lives of poor? Do they look at it in the same way as the rich do when faced with various kinds of constraints that the rich do not face? Is there a quality- quantity trade-off when deciding as to the number of children to bear? What is the concept of ‘missing women’ as proposed by Amartya Sen? What are the risks that the poor face in their day to day lives? Are they optimally insured? Can micro-credit solve the problems of risks and uncertainties that they face? What role does institutions; politics and the political environment of where the poor live affect their lives and decisions? And finally, the core and one of the most important questions- Can the poor come out of poverty or is poverty a phenomenon that is irreversible?

I read the book to analyze these questions and to find answers to them. We have answers and answers not in the form of plain theoretical answers but in terms of empirical examples from developing countries/poor areas and what are the dynamics behind how the poor make their decisions. Using tools of impact evaluation, the authors take various programs into purview like the “Balsakhi “program carried out by an India based NGO-Pratham and its impact of education on the poor. It shows impacts of the One-child policy in China, the family planning program( distribution of contraceptives) in Columbia, the micro-credit program in Bangladesh, the distribution of free and subsidized mosquito nets in Africa etc. We also come across very interesting and new terms like the ‘low hanging fruit’, ‘sugar daddies’, ’Bengali Doctors’ etc. which are specific to certain regions of the world but answers to general problems of the poor.

The book has a vast scope to be interpreted in the way the reader wants to as it goes both from specificity to general ideas and vice-versa. So, read more to find out what is going on in the world where we live. The book to me is more of a collection of stories (real life examples) that enables the reader to enjoy, learn, critically analyze and innovate at the same time. The book is a must read for all who are interested in Development economics as it gives a new perspective on things that we might have been pondering for long. And for those, who are not related to the field should read to know what is going on around us and economics is not only about models and theories but of experiences and instances that define an individual and his role in the society.

Enjoy the book!!!

P.S: For people who are more interested in the subject are suggested to take the online course, “The challenges of Global Poverty”, by edx.