Seeing unhealthy patterns in your family and deciding that those pattens end with you and will not be passed down to future generations is an extremely brave and powerful decision.
Forgive yourself for repeating what was taught to you as a child, then put the conscious effort into deprogram these patterns.
It must be so frustrating for my boyfriend to deal with a mentally ill witch who smokes they lungs dead. Sorry boo I need dis dab or I will cry in bed all day😙✌🏽