jaspertheperfectquartz

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

ive noticed your form upon being uncorrupted for the first time, and your form upon meeting steven in the woods again was different. considering your comment on the animals of the forest i wanted to ask if maybe you where attacked by forest dwellers before?

No. I simply- ah- wanted to change my look is all.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

sorry if someone already asked. but do you really dislike all earthlings? or have any (positively) caught your attention?

I've come to... mildly appreciate a few, you could say. I think it's entertaining to watch Earth's food chain in action. Yes, the top predators have certainly caught my eye. Such ferocity! And don't get me started on the sort of tactics I've seen these creatures pull on one another.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Are you familiar with a human media called home alone?

No.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Hear me out what if it was a different type of battle? Say one of combat strategies?

And what strategy could a human possibly have against a warrior gem?

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Would you fight a human who wants to challenge you?

I'd spare that human's life, but only because there's no fight to be had. It just isn't worth the swing if the opponent can't take even that.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Hey, soldier. Bring us up to date with what’s been happening, if anything’s been happening. Hopefully you’re taking it easy, not putting yourself through the grinder.

I've established a daily schedule at least. It isn't much but... it keeps me sane, gives me something to do every day. Otherwise I think I'd break and tear out every plant I see from the ground. Heh, wouldn't that be cathartic.

I'm seeing the main three Crystal Gems every day at their classes. We talk a little. With Garnet and Pearl it's all well and good, but with Amethyst I know she's just trying to rush me out of there. Not that I expect any different. At least she doesn't mind my presence at the Fight Club. Or notice, rather, since she's preoccupied the whole time.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Blue daimond or yellow daimond, who would win in a fight?

What a ridiculous, nonsensical question. Why would you even ask that?

Which is wearing the helmet?

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Do you have ligma?

Like I haven't heard that one before.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Do you deal with panic attacks?

I don't panic, but I will attack.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

If we ever see you fighting in the forest with a grizzly bear, should we help you or the bear?

Organics are nothing against a gem, much less a seasoned warrior gem like myself. You wouldn't be much help either way.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

If you absolutely had to choose between animals, which one would you rather have around you day and night, a tiger, a crocodile, or a bear? None hostile to you unless you make it of course, and all they'll be doing is surviving in close proximity to your cave.

I wouldn't want any of them in my space. No matter how "hostile" they are or how fun they might be to fight and wrestle with if I were to find one out in the wild, they're still organics. Organics are messy.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Your feelings for Garnet are just platonic?

I don't know or care. All I know is that she's been... pleasant company. I'd rather not talk about it. But whatever it is you're thinking, get it out of your head.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Not even a little bit?

No! That's weird.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

If she let you, would you lay down in Garnet’s lap? Just imagine it. After one of her morning classes, she takes you out to the beach and you’re sitting in the sand, and she lets you rest your head in her lap. It’s all calm, serene, and peaceful. The waves crashing, the seagulls chirping. And all the while, Garnet’s just looking down at you, smiling and holding your head. Do you ever think about Garnet in that way?

That's the sappiest load of shards I've ever heard. No!

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Can I please nap in your lap?

Don't be weird.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Arm wrestling is pretty cool but have you heard of slap boxing? It’s like regular boxing but instead of punching, you slap. It’s a real sport and there are real tournaments for it where people pay good money to watch a big guy slap the shit out of another big guy. You ever slap the shit out of somebody, Jasper?

Heh. A slap certainly wouldn't be my method of choice, but that does sound entertaining. No, that's more in the style of an Agate than a Jasper. I was made for my fists and I make that clear.

[jaspertheperfectquartz]

Well, you’re always going out of your way to visit gems, but gems never really visit you (except for Steven). Maybe you oughta change things up, have a gem visit you or invite them over. Just an idea. Unless you don’t like people in your space, which is totally understandable if that’s the case.

Psh, like I'm buddy-buddy with anyone enough to want them hanging around here, or that anyone would want to. I wouldn't rule out Garnet, if she by any chance wanted to try fusing again. But yeah, no thanks. I hardly tolerated Steven when he came around here that first time.