jasperusual - Tumblr blog

[jasperusual]

hey girl are you the boy with the pink carnation pinned to your lapel? cause there is something about you i recognize as fuck and it's sort of trippy. you have the same smile in your eyes and everything it's freaky

[jasperusual]

[jasperusual]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[jasperusual]

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

[jasperusual]

lobbying the Olympic committee to recognize gay chicken as a real sport

[jasperusual]

Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing

[jasperusual]

they should hold 4 versions of every olympic event in this order to witness the full breadth of human capabilities:

primary schoolers

random nonathletic adults

olympians

olympians roided and doped up to the max

[jasperusual]

literally traumatizing to learn that the london bridge is in fucking arizona

[jasperusual]

[jasperusual]

[jasperusual]

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

[jasperusual]

the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has only been actually typed once by a single person, everyone else who has ever used it has just googled “shrug emoji” and copy-pasted it

[jasperusual]

[guy who doesnt watch shows voice] yeah ive been meaning to watch that show

[jasperusual]

Respectfully, Ireland is the best country on the planet

[jasperusual]

long overdue for a scream in the woods

[jasperusual]

[jasperusual]

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