jaxparagas - Tumblr blog

[jaxparagas]

This is the last time

[jaxparagas]

Video recording Feb 16

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8abjCVE/

[jaxparagas]

Feb 14

[jaxparagas]

Its takes everything in me. Not to call you.

I miss you everyday

[jaxparagas]

Knowing you're really gone. It hits different

[jaxparagas]

Relapse

I was ok. I was focused. I just had to answer the Critical Care Exam that was posted on Viber.

And then for some F-ing reason. You old chat was still there. I couldn’t help but read our last convos and see your old pictures

I can’t help it but break down and cry. I am reminded of this empty space. and I miss you again.

I let you go like you wanted me to. I’m moving on. I’m too old for this shit. But I’m crying like a fckng idiot. Goddamit. I miss you. and I still pray for you.

God, I just want to leave this city, this country na.

If there was song for this feeling, It would be “I always wanna die sometimes” by the 1975, live performance

[jaxparagas]

Potential is potential until it is executed

[jaxparagas]

I hate driving. I find myself more often leaving my car. Choosing to walk long distances. Commuting! After so many years. Minimum fare 12? That was a shocker.

Surprised to find i missed this. A simpler life. A simpler time.

[jaxparagas]

There are days I wonder if I did the right thing. Letting you go like you asked me to.

I of course didn't want to. But did it help? Are you better now? Are you happier?

God. I want to us to be together

But i cant force it if you want otherwise

[jaxparagas]

Time heals what reason cannot

[jaxparagas]

Mushroom soup.

Finally got rid of the can of mushrooms I planned to use to cook you another batch.

Funny. Sad. How plans don't go as planned.

[jaxparagas]

An aversion to Okra and saluyot

Or ramen

And then berries and yogurt

Le vain bread and pastries

Even in food you haunt me

[jaxparagas]

When your love one is down or having a bad day.

Ask

"What does support look like for you right now?"

[jaxparagas]

https://youtu.be/eXBu09fwe3I

That song is how I see J did to you, the positive side.

Meron part diyan na naging cape siya

Nawala yung girl sa tabi niya, pero she was the person behind kung bakit pinursue nung guy yung dream niya at naovercome niya mga battles niya

[jaxparagas]

Dec 30

Bad dream

J. But she didnt see me. Ot was like i was seeing tbrough a glass window. She was cold and wet. Parang galing sa swimming. Madami sila. 3 lalo sila babae. Tbe rest guys from nueva ecija. Mga tambay na nagmomotor. She diddnt look happy. Just cold

.Ginising ko na sarilo ko nun

[jaxparagas]

Dec 30

Alam mo, i had a dream i was a guest lecturer sa mga universities dito, at review centers pag nag babakasyon ako pinas

I miss teaching/training. Pero this time. I want it to be nursing related na