jayykei

[jayykei]

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

when u search for a very specific question in google and it shows the exact thing you’re looking for

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

looking for an expert on babys out there

[jayykei]

you: not every post is about you

me: damn this is about how i think every post is about me

[jayykei]

me: hey wanna see pics of my dog person: no me: *shows pictures anyway*

[jayykei]

i started blogging cause they got rid of space pinball

[jayykei]

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

[jayykei]

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

[jayykei]

[jayykei]

when a friend reblogs the same thing as you but they reblog it from someone else

[jayykei]

me

[jayykei]

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her