jbeefletcher

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this sleeper tweet

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words of affirmation for those seeking a werewolf girlfriend

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your racist uncle just bathed in dragons blood, rendering his flesh impenetrable by blade or bullet. luckily some divine force, call it entropy, pulled a leaf from its branch and let it rest on your uncles shoulder blade as he was bathing. you know what to do. find this spot, and drive the electronic turkey carver through it. it is your destiny

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Not to like be too enamoured with celebrities but Stellan Skarsgård really is some kind of nationall treasure

x

[jbeefletcher]

this was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my LIFE

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how it feels to make the mature decision regarding your long-term future

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a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

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As part of her social media detox this girl on YouTube made herself do one hour of understimulating tasks every day and she just counted rice for 60 minutes straight because its no different from doomscrolling in terms of wasted time

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— v, excerpts from a book i’ll never write #2 (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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BOB HICOK

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I can't find the original post anymore so im bringing this back in 2025

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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ANGELA LANSBURY 𝒂𝒔 JESSICA FLETCHER | Murder, She Wrote S01E00 — The Murder of Sherlock Holmes

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on may 14th 1839, let's all go to McDonald's and order the amnesia: the dark descent burger