jeanettesjourney

[jeanettesjourney]

All done with Chemo 😊

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July 17, 2017

Today is Chemo 6 of 6. We were talking on the way here this morning and it seems we have the same emotions going on. Happy that this is the last session of chemo, apprehensive about the next few weeks as the effects of chemo get worse every time we go, scared about whether the chemo has done its job. I get asked all the time about when will we do a “test” or “scan” to know if she is ok. Unfortunately, there is no test. They consider her cancer free when she did the surgery and then they don’t know until they know. It is a scary way to live your life.

Next steps are we expect to start radiation in 4-5 weeks. Radiation is every day for 6 ½ weeks. I am already tired just thinking of it and can’t imagine how she feels. She will also start getting a hormone shot to continue to shut down her ovaries from producing hormones that the cancer feeds on. The shots will last until she has surgery after radiation to remove her ovaries. On top of all of this, every 3 weeks, she will come down to get receptor inhibitors through her port to keep any cells from dividing..

We are thankful for my Mom who took the girls for the week, for our friends providing us dinners this week, and for all the thoughts and prayers we continue to receive. The prayers are what we want and need the most.

We had a very special moment with Emily. She approached Jeanette and said she wanted to donate her hair to cancer patients. We had 9 inches cut off and sent it to a group that donates wigs to American Cancer Society that provides free wigs to cancer patients.

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June 26, 2017

Chemo 5 of 6. She doesn't have to say the words, but I know. I can see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, feel it coming from her body. I know because I feel it too. She is tired. Physically tired from the monotony of the preparation and the trip down here. Mentally tired from thinking through what needs to be done. Emotionally tired anticipating what her week will be like. Today I forgot to start the Rosary on the way down here, which has been what we do on the way to comfort and prepare us. I feel like I was "going through the motions" to get us down here. We are thankful for our family that joined us for a vacation last week, for the family that have our girls this week in Austin, for our friends that are providing meals this week, and especially for all the thoughts and prayers we get. Pray for strength, for a focus on each other and family, and mental clarity that we only have one last Chemo session after this. Amen!

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June 5, 2017

Today is chemo session 4 of 6.  I find myself counting these down and this means that we are 2/3 of the way done with this stage of treatment.

Last week, I heard this talk on the radio.  It was about when Jesus sent out his disciples that He sent them two by two.  Sending them together allowed them to strengthen each other’s resolve.  It allowed them to comfort each other.  It made what they were being asked to do easier.  Life is like that.  What Jeanette is going through is like that.  I am thankful that I can be here for her to strengthen her and hope that it makes it easier.  I am most thankful for those family and friends that counter to go to appointments that I can’t make.

We also experienced that this week with our girls going off to camp.  Last year, Emily did not go because it was way out of her comfort zone.  We had suggested getting a friend to go this year to make it easier.  The friend that went with her is a lot like Emily and I believe this is also out of her comfort zone.  Together, they are strong and brave.  You could see it in their faces when we loaded them in the bus.  Kaitlyn and Olivia went last year and had the time of their life.  They were able to coordinate a friend to go this year too.  In talking to the parents of those girls, it was Kaitlyn and Olivia that were able to the source of strength for their friends.  I am grateful for the experiences these six girls will have at The Pines this week.  I know all the girls will come back stronger in their faith and be part of the experience that leads them to be a strong woman as their Mothers are.

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May 15, 2017

Today is chemo day, session 3 of 6. Today, the wait was more than normal. One of the Doctors was out sick, but they do not have the luxury of canceling appointments. Of course we would not want that, but the result was a lot more waiting. We ended up starting Chemo an hour later than normal. You can hear and see the frustration in the staff and patients (including my wife 😉) as they worked to get caught up. What I learned today in Jeanette's appointment was all the stuff she hides from me. She had a nice list for the Doctor of aches, pains, and questions that she had not let me in on. It is a testament of her strength and a reminder for me. The reminder is that even in the second and third weeks after Chemo when she looks and seems great, she is still not 100%. What I ask everyone to pray for are the few days leading up to Chemo day. That day is long and tiring, and the week following is full of aches, pains, and no energy. We have come to expect and know what to anticipate on these days. It is the days before that are challenging us. It is the dark cloud hanging over us of knowing what is coming up that puts us on edge and makes us moody. On those days, please pray for us.

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Chemo Day - session 3

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If Kaitlyn had short brown hair 😂

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Happy to get her shot. ☺️

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April 24, 2017

Today is round 2 of 6 for Chemo. We left our house at 7 this morning and it's another full day of sitting here. Amazed at how many people come through here. Today, we found out that the insurance had not approved Jeanette to get the shot tomorrow to boost her white blood count. There are two options on shots. The one we want is the one you get the next day and it boosts your count up so there is not much of a lapse. The one we got last time was where you go back a week later, they test your count, then you get three shots over three days. The problem was that her count was already so low that she got several different infections (ear, throat, urinary, etc.). When we found out it had not been approved, Jeanette asked if I could call our advocate at the insurance company. I know this sounds crazy after all the stories you hear about insurance companies. This is the same lady I called three weeks back when we thought we were being delayed on starting chemo. Same lady, same result. Within twenty minutes, she had sent over the form to get Jeanette the shot she wanted. We are hoping this means that the second week will be much better this time around. This place gets full. So full that I get kicked out at times to go to the waiting area. This time I was sitting out there and watched this lady come out from treatment and sit down by her daughter. She told her daughter to get out a pen and write this down. She told her to write down Jeanette's name and another lady's name. Her daughter asked why and the lady responded because I am going to pray for them. Later, Jeanette told me that she had told her she says a Rosary every morning. I am grateful that there are people in this world that no matter how bad their own situation is, they have strength and faith to pray for others.

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April 23, 2017

This has been a great week.  Jeanette has seemed to be both physically and mentally back to normal.  However, tomorrow is round 2 of Chemo and today has seemed to have a heavy cloud above us as we know what is coming.  It has been hard to not think about what she will be going through the next couple of weeks with the side effects.  Coming out of Easter, it brings to mind when Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane.  This is the night before He endures the scourging, the placing of the crown of thorns upon His head, when He carries his cross, and ultimately crucifixion.  It is not the fact that He knows what He is about to go through that I relate to, for I could never know that.  What I relate to is Luke 22:43. In this verse, an Angel appears to strengthen and comfort Him as He prays.  Know that all of you are our comforters.  Everyone that reads this, prays for us, offers help, picks up our girls, goes on doctor appointments, brings us food, and even just thinks of us...you are our comforters sent from Heaven.  Please don’t stop.  The prayers mean more than anything.  When you offer to assist and we say no, know that by just asking, you comfort us.  I am continually overwhelmed by our family and friends in this journey.

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April 16, 2017

Today is Easter.  It is a very important day in our family’s faith.  It is also a day when most like to get dressed up in something special to go to Mass.  It is also day 14 since chemo started.  We were told that on day 15 Jeanette would lose her hair.  Jeanette is like everyone else in that she bought a beautiful dress to wear to Mass today.  She was not like everyone else in that she also bought a scarf and a hat not knowing if she would have hair on Easter.  I knew she was hoping to have her hair for this day, but she was also wanting to be proactive in choosing the time when she would lose it.  Her choice was to let the girls have some fun and let them cut her hair, but she was unsure of the exact day.  As Easter approached, she was having some tingling in her scalp.  This tingling and a soreness in her scalp would be a sign that her hair was about to go.  This morning, she started having some of her hair come out in her hands.  Enough that she debated whether she should even wash and style.  She elected to compromise, by washing her hair and then wearing the hat she bought.  She was quite cute even though I know I am biased.

Tonight was our hair cutting party.  Each girl was given a pair of scissors and told to go at it.  Each daughter cut a lock of her hair to have as a keepsake.  After that, the two youngest had fun cutting off all her hair as if they were giving her a makeover.  The rest was up to me with a razor.  No man should ever have to shave his wife’s head, but this is what she wanted.  In the situation we are in, you look for ways to be in control and I get that and that makes it ok.  

When we were done, the girls said “wow you look cute”.  I think she looks sexy.  She has this “Alien” Sigourney Weaver look going...

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Happy Birthday!!

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April 10, 2017

Today was Jeanette’s one week check up from her chemo treatment that started last Monday.  This was the day we were expecting them to check her white blood count and to get a booster shot if they were low.  Not only were they low, but her body was already seeing the side effects of the immune deficiency.  The diagnosis was a urinary tract infection, an ear infection, thrush and sores in her mouth, and an acne rash.  More things to do and more things to take...four more prescriptions to the list of medicines already being taken.

The booster for low white blood cells comes in the form of a shot.  Three shots over three days of Granix.  Jeanette was told that the way she will know that the booster is working is that she will get aches in her bones, especially in the femur, lower back, and sternum.  The crazy thing is these same symptoms have been the source of her misery for the last week as side effects of the chemo.  

The concern over her white blood count being low is being exposed to some virus or infection.  It does not help that we live with three kids and a dog that are probably the carriers of all kinds of germs.  We are trying to be diligent on hand washing and hand sanitizer being a normal course of our days.  Jeanette is playing it cautiously and is keeping herself confined to the house for the next four days, other than going to go get her shot.  She was specifically told to stay away from places like the grocery store, church, restaurants, movie theaters, the school, and even a hospital!  She was told the hospitals are full of germs.  If she comes down with a fever, we are to call her doctor and will receive instructions from there.  She cannot eat anything raw including fruits and vegetables.

I had to go to the store to pick up the most random items for her after work to help with all the side effects.  My list included non-acetone nail polish remover (acetone drys out your cuticles), baby tooth brush (to help protect her gums), Claritin (anti inflammatory to help with rash), acne wash, and a boost drink (to provide protein and vitamins, and to maintain her strength).  I called her to let her pick the toothbrush.  It came down to Winnie the Pooh, Elmo, and a pink brush with a Hippo showing her teeth.  Hippo won out.

I am sitting here watching my wife organize her medications.  She is putting them in her phone with alarms and notes...some with food, some with empty stomach, some multiple times per day.  She is so great at organizing and planning and I know she does this to relieve her stress.  I am thinking what a mess I would be if this was me.   Everything would just sit out on the counter and I would go through them everyday and try to figure it out.  I know she would have helped me through this.

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us. - Romans 8:18

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April 6, 2017

Jeanette has been having side effects from Chemo that are best described as flu like…achiness in her muscles, joints hurting, loss of appetite, some nausea, etc. It started Tuesday, got worse Wednesday, with some improvement today. She is also beginning to experience a tenderness in her scalp, which is a precursor to the inevitable hair loss. We expect for her to be feeling better by this weekend. We appreciate all the delicious meals we have received from our friends this week. It has been a big help. More than you can imagine.

Today was her Radiologist appointment and we met Dr. Shide for the first time. Radiation is expected to start around the end of August. She will have treatment everyday M-F for 6 ½ weeks. The appointment started just like all the others where we get a million questions about health, family, and her diagnosis. From there she went through a physical examination. I was amused at this because every doctor to date just opens her gown and starts feeling around while I just sit there. This has been one of our running jokes. I guess Dr. Shide didn’t want me to watch this and pulled a curtain between me and them. I was very tempted to yell out “You know I’ve seen them, right?”

After the examination, she sat back down with us to describe what will happen. Dr. Shide explained you have radiation because they can’t see, feel, or test to know if all the cancer was removed from the breast. Jeanette will specifically be given X-ray radiation for about 7 minutes. This is the same x-ray as if you broke a bone, however, much longer. Prior to doing this, she will have a CAT scan that will create a 3D version of her breast area. Jeanette will also be given 3 mini-dot tattoos... on the outside of each breast and one in the middle of her chest. These dots and the 3D image will be the guide in which they line up where the radiation goes.

The side effects will be like having too much sun exposure and reduced energy over 6 ½ weeks. Jeanette and I looked at each other with relief. Compared to chemo, this sounded like something much more manageable. Easy for me to say though, as it’s not my body. I have been praying that she would catch a break on side effects. I ask God to not give her something she can’t handle, to let her aches, pains and mental anguish be less, and to give me some of her pain so hers would be less. I’ll take this description of radiation side effects as prayers answered.

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Icing.