jeattle-blog

[jeattle-blog]

I guess this is the first post on this, and I hope it's worthy of being the first post. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being me and for sometimes having the words I think come out a little differently then I intend them being. I don't mean to be such an ass at times, I guess I just get, Idk I feel like I have to be independent at times because you spent so long not always wanting to talk to me, so now, I feel like I need to back up and give you a breather because I don't want the amount I think of you, and actually need you, to scare you away. You're it for me, so as happy as that makes me, it also terrifies me. It terrifies me that if you left at any moment, I know I wouldn't be able to breathe or probably even function. You've become such a part of me and it's weird because I told myself I'd never be that person, the needy one. Because I've dealt with it, and I've found it annoying and I never wanted to get on your nerves. I just wanted to be the one person with you, who got it right. Who made you feel like you were the only person in the world and made you understand why they only needed you in their life. I hope I've done that, even slightly. Because you are my world and you are all I want and even when I'm an ass, I guess I just hope you'll still be there at the end of the night telling me I'm dumb and you love me and falling asleep with me. I hope you'll always be the one I can't wait to fall asleep with, either holding or being held by. I love you and I hope that comes across. I hope you know how much I really do appreciate you, because I do and honestly, I can't believe I'm the person who gets to marry you one day.