jedwaldie

[jedwaldie]

[jedwaldie]

x please look at these two 😩❤️

[jedwaldie]

Disappointed but not surprised

Every Day: On Aziraphale

Obviously MAJOR spoilers ahead! Click keep reading at your own risk.

Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way first. I am not angry at Aziraphale for his decision. I don't agree with it, obviously, but I understand why he made the choice he did.

In Aziraphale's mind, there could not be a better course of events than them both returning to Heaven as angels. It would solve pretty much every problem and worry (Aziraphale feels) they had ever had. They would both have their jobs back, both be working for the Good Guys, he would be able to use his new position of power to fix the flaws in Heaven, and, most importantly, they would be together, without any of the fear that had been looming over them for the past six thousand years.

Aziraphale is perfectly aware that they are also being offered safety. With Aziraphale as Supreme Archangel and Crowley as his second in command, they could be freely and openly together and in love for the first time in their entire relationship. Which is why he tries so desperately to convince him to go with him, being the most upfront and honest about his feelings for him than he has ever been before. "We can be together!" "I need you!" He believed so much that he could change Crowley's mind for the sake of them being together that he wouldn't accept that Crowley's answer was "no" until Crowley was out the door, until it was too late.

Additionally, we now know that Crowley and Aziraphale did know each other before Crowley Fell, and this adds a whole new layer to Aziraphale's decision. He remembers the angel Crowley used to be, the angel full of joy and smiles, who loved creating beautiful things, who absolutely adored being an angel. Aziraphale loves Crowley, and he would love to see him that happy again. That coupled with the fact that Aziraphale can probably, like us, tell that Crowley misses being an angel leads him to believe that going back to Heaven would be a no-brainer for Crowley. So he is not prepared in the least for Crowley to want absolutely nothing to do with the idea. He can't fathom why anyone would willingly stay on the "bad" side when they had a choice. The question Aziraphale asks of Crowley is "Why would you choose to be Evil when you could be Good?" But what Aziraphale doesn't understand is that that's not the choice Crowley is making here. He's not choosing Evil over Good. He's choosing himself over the whole system, the system that Aziraphale still has hope can be fixed.

And that's where the Metatron comes in. I fully believe that the Metatron manipulated Aziraphale to get him to agree to come with him. We don't get to see all of his conversation with Aziraphale, but we can see that he brings Aziraphale a coffee (trying to get his foot in the door), reassures him that "I've ingested things in my time," that his humanly habit of consuming Earthly food and drink is nothing to be ashamed of (again trying to get his foot in the door by keeping Aziraphale comfortable around him as well as likening himself to him), and pays him compliments that are frankly out of character considering Heaven has regarded Aziraphale as a traitor since the averted Armageddon. But, most damning of all, in my opinion, is the Metatron telling Aziraphale that he could restore Crowley to angelic status. Before this point, Aziraphale was not keen on the idea, even saying point-blank that he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. But the Metatron (like pretty much everybody at this point) knows that Aziraphale is in love with Crowley. He knows Crowley is his perfect leverage, especially since, I believe, he knows that Crowley would never agree to come back to Heaven and he would never have suggested it if he didn't know that Crowley would reject it. His glare at Crowley on his way out the door is enough for us to see his contempt for him, his asking Aziraphale "how did he take it?" seems like strange wording to me (Not "what did he say?" or "what does he think?" Normally you "take" something you don't want to hear, implying the Metatron anticipated Crowley's reaction), and his remark after Crowley leaves that he was "always asking damn fool questions" shows us more of that contempt as well as an attempt to convince Aziraphale that "screw him he's stupid anyway you don't need him." So there you go. The Metatron uses Crowley to get Aziraphale to agree to come back to Heaven, sits back and watches as they both break each other's hearts, swoops back in to pick up the pieces, and now has an angel feeling very vulnerable and alone ready to be escorted back up to Heaven.

I would honestly compare Aziraphale to a cult victim. He's essentially been brainwashed. For countless millennia he has been conditioned to see Heaven as the one and only Good Side, and the angels as the end-all-be-all Good Guys. After everything that's happened over the last six thousand years (the last few years especially), Aziraphale now obviously knows that's not entirely true, but even so, he still has the mindset of two sides, Heaven Good and Hell Evil. And so to be welcomed back to the Good Side with open arms when he's at such a low, to be entrusted with power and recognition by the Voice of God undoubtedly feels reassuring, even though I am positive something small deep inside him is whispering to him that something about this is not right.

More than anything, Aziraphale believes in Goodness. It's quite literally the very core of his being. He wholeheartedly believes that the system is capable of being fixed and that he can be the one to fix it. And not only that he can, that, if he has the chance to, he has to. It's his duty as a being of Good.

Brokenhearted Aziraphale is too stubborn convicted in his values to turn down the chance to change Heaven for the better, and with the bookshop being entrusted to Muriel and, most importantly, without Crowley, he doesn't have much keeping him on Earth anymore.

In the end, it's a combination of Aziraphale's steadfast values and principles, his genuine and unwavering desire to do Good, and Heaven's indoctrination and manipulation of him that leads Aziraphale to leave Earth and Crowley behind and return to Heaven.

Exactly to what end the Metatron wants Aziraphale as Supreme Archangel, I don't know. That's for Season Three to tell us. We'll just have to wait and see.

[jedwaldie]

[jedwaldie]

Nandor and his pain kink, yes yes, but he is a predator, and this?

This? Yeah, he’s into it, but his lizard brain is also lighting the fuck up. He’s spent the season testing Guillermo’s new limits, and Guillermo, for all he thinks he’s the smartest person in the room, is being careless enough to let him. Nandor may be an idiot about a lot of things, and he definitely chooses not to acknowledge some things, but Guillermo transforming into a very real threat right under his nose shook him, and he is very much paying attention this season. One predator sizing up another. Delicious!

I truly believe it’s partly “do it again daddy 😩”

And partly “I fuck-ing knew it, you little creep! Welcome to the thunder dome, I’m gonna study you like a bug. 😈”

[jedwaldie]

DAVID JENKINS WHAT THE FUCK

[jedwaldie]

If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear

[jedwaldie]

W Bob

[jedwaldie]

I want Lucius to have the most stable and healthy relationship with Pete and at the same time I want him and Izzy to just be fucking FREAKS about each other. And I want Pete/Izzy to only have Lucius in common and when he’s not around they have absolutely nothing to say to each other and they die a little inside every time they have to make small talk for longer than a minute. I want it to be physically painful to watch. But oh look at that someone is being not nice to Lucius? Well guess what now you’re stabbed! Stabbed by his two boyfriends who LOVE HIM SO GODDAMN MUCH. That’s the poly representation I want in this shit world.

[jedwaldie]

blackbeard: keep lucius out of trouble

izzy: why me?

blackbeard: enemies to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining

blackbeard: you're unlucky enough to be in my line of sight

[jedwaldie]

I’d seen people shipping Nandermo for a while now and kind of brushed it off as Tumblr being Tumblr, figured it was going to be one of my shows that I love but don’t have ships for, like The Expanse. I honestly didn’t see it at all in season 1, and mostly as the type of joke a lot of shows with a heavily male cast like to do in season 2! Wasn’t until The Casino and whatever the everloving hell Nandor was doing during Guillermo’s cut off coming out that I had a hold-the-fucking-phone moment of realization.

And then. And then and then and then.

The SLAP. The attempted self-sacrifice when trying to trap The Sire. The cult rescue. The wait-around-100-years-for-me-Guillermo! The fiiiight!

The fight makes me foam at the mouth. The whole of Season 3 is about Guillermo and Nandor’s rapidly equalizing power dynamic, and the fight is the cherry on top. Not only is it hot af, the more I watch it, the more I see that Nandor got exactly what he wanted out of it. He’s a warlord and a tactician, and he has surrounded himself with very predictable people. He is used to knowing what to expect from them. Lazslo will be lazy and oversexed and snotty. Nadja will be violent and argumentative and suspicious. Colin Robinson will be Colin Robinson. And Guillermo will be his devoted slave, less a person than a comfort object, a pseudo relationship that mostly benefits Nandor by providing him companionship and care but always on his terms and in his control.

And then Guillermo starts switching it up, leaving not once but twice. That was bad enough but he did come back! But then it turns out he’s a badass vampire slayer and has killed a LOT of said vampires, and sure, most of them were trying to kill Nandor and Nadja and Lazslo, but also he’d allowed himself to be fairly vulnerable with a person who not only could kill him, but has killed many vampires, some of them even older and more powerful than him. I don’t think he seriously worried that Guillermo would kill him, there were obviously plenty of chances that Guillermo never took. But he was a fairly successful warlord for a time, and he is a fundamentally insecure person. Knowing that this huge change in a person very close to him took place entirely under his nose, and as a result now not knowing what to expect from Guillermo really threw him for a loop.

I kind of think Nandor suspected the hypnosis didn’t work, Guillermo definitely didn’t keep it up with meowing for Colin Robinson. I think his very intense reaction to the slap was mostly being incredibly turned on, but also the satisfaction of having a suspicion confirmed. I think a lot of Nandor’s actions in the back half of season 3 were actually testing Guillermo. Maybe not in exactly the way he said, and maybe not even always consciously. But he’s pressing buttons to see what Guillermo will do, to get his measure again, to rearrange his expectations. Unpredictability is anathema to a tactical mind and also an anxiously insecure one. He wants to be able to predict Guillermo again. I’m not sure Nandor is actually self-aware enough to know that’s what he’s doing and why, and I’m not sure if he’s yet fully conscious of the exact nature of his growing feelings for Guillermo. Like, he says he was testing him, but I do feel that Nandor was somewhat thinking on the spot and also very much skimming the surface of his intentions.

But when Guillermo threw him against the wall he stopped himself very easily. When Nandor threw the dagger it went wide, and that’s a man who knows how to throw a fucking dagger, okay? Guillermo definitely could hurt him if he really wanted to, but obviously doesn’t really want to. And Nandor could have put up a fiercer fight, but he also didn’t really want to. He’s already getting what he wants, and that’s defining the new lines of who Guillermo is and what he represents. Where his limits are, and what he will do when they’re crossed. That this huge tidal shift in their relationship is happening in the privacy of Nandor’s bedroom is just, ugh, it makes me absolutely crackers, just entirely unglued!

Nandor evidently cares more about things like choice and consent than other vampires (the bar is low but most of the other vampires don’t acknowledge the bar at all). And he takes advantage of his power less (though not never) It’s important to him that Guillermo does actually have the ability to fight back. It’s important to him that Guillermo is willing to fight back. In resetting his expectations of his former familiar, he accepts Guillermo as an equal, finally.

It wasn’t romantic before, it couldn’t be with that fucked up power imbalance, and Nandor is shown to be a person who would be bothered by that. By putting them on more or less equal footing, what was potential now has a chance to bloom, if the writers choose to follow that thread (please please please). And I honestly think the separation will be good for them! Giving them both a chance to grow independently will help prevent easily falling back into old habits, and after 12 years, those habits are deeply engrained.

I know we were all sad about it, helped along by Kayvan’s puppy-eyed-sad-face, but Guillermo and Nandor being involuntarily split up is the best way the season could have ended. They’re both fucked up murderers, no one expects (or even really wants) their relationship to be entirely healthy. And it’s an absurdist comedy show, I doubt they’ll be entirely well-adjusted for funny purposes! But I think that if they do follow through on the potential built this season, this is going to be the best way to do it. Let Guillermo and Nandor figure some of their shit out apart, and then come back together as a free choice.

[jedwaldie]

Nandor and his pain kink, yes yes, but he is a predator, and this?

This? Yeah, he’s into it, but his lizard brain is also lighting the fuck up. He’s spent the season testing Guillermo’s new limits, and Guillermo, for all he thinks he’s the smartest person in the room, is being careless enough to let him. Nandor may be an idiot about a lot of things, and he definitely chooses not to acknowledge some things, but Guillermo transforming into a very real threat right under his nose shook him, and he is very much paying attention this season. One predator sizing up another. Delicious!

I truly believe it’s partly “do it again daddy 😩”

And partly “I fuck-ing knew it, you little creep! Welcome to the thunder dome, I’m gonna study you like a bug. 😈”

[jedwaldie]

Me:

[jedwaldie]

this is huge. don’t get me wrong, both shows are amazing and I know it’s not a competition, but the fact a show with queer romance as its main storyline, that hardly got any promo from HBO Max, managed to top a big Disney/Marvel show proved people want actual LGBTQ representations that couldn’t be edited out or completely dismissed by skipping 6 seconds forward.

[jedwaldie]

Literally ran to ur blog as soon as I could pick my brain back off the theater floor to post comprehensibly what r ur thoughts I am so AAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAA

oh my god no thoughts im screaming

holy shit

1) eddie was SO horny. the whole time. he kept up a boner in every fucking scene. that man was the horniest hes ever been. i think he came in his pants when he got cuffed. AND THEN STARED BRUCE IN THE EYE AFTER sticky pants and theres his fucking Beloved watching him hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2) the arkham breakdown.......... he fully believed bruce would fall in love with him then and there........... this really was the same eddie as batman forever he had the same exact pair of glasses and he was just as convinced one conversation would drop that man to one knee ring in hand

hed practiced that speech so many times but never saw past his heart eyes BRUCE you could have done something there!!! YES hes unhinged but now hes unhinged AND has your voice replaying eternally in his head digging at him hhhhhhhhhh god i love bruce making these men worse

3) Batmobile.... Sexy.

4) Bat boots...... Sexy.

5) Selina owns no good wigs and thats so funny. shes wearing the 5 dollarest wigs she could find

6) bruce punching gordo. bruce and gordo besties. this was a buddy cop comedy.

7) bruces shirtless scene being his fucking conspiracy board scene.................... if eddie had seen THAT fucking CHRIST heda been all over him like jam on bread i tell u hwat

tangentially bruce and eddie the same man. stalkers. creeps. standing there silently. watching waiting etc. love when theyre similar makes me fuzzy inside

the fact that bruce just instantly guesses the right thing to find the next clue so many times he and eddie think EXACTLY the same way theyre on SUCH a wavelength!!! the same fucking wavelength!!!!

anyway my brains fucking scattered and i need time to process and im so fucking hhhhhhhhhhgghh

i gotta write i gotta draw i gotta cosplay eddie in his lil arkham outfit w his shitty collar i need to learn to sing ave maria i love that man with my whole heart and soul i cant believe i wasnt kicked out of the theater i got so many compliments on my eddie jacket

[jedwaldie]

bruce being completely oblivious to the very obvious love proclamations in the riddler’s clues and selina thinking hes the dumbest bitch alive

“he’s just joking. hes trying to get under my skin, selina.”

“then why is there a lipstick print and his number and address written in a valentine’s day card that says ‘for the best husband in the world’ on the cover?”

[jedwaldie]

all these memes about how dano!riddler isn’t as good because he’s not as gay are so funny to me. dano!riddler spends most of the movie sending love letters to batman and then when his plan doesn’t work he just cries for the rest of the movie. what about that is straight to you.