jeffrey1010bce

[jeffrey1010bce]

December 3rd, dont knwo what to write hut it was a cool day, shared some laughs at ben barber but i have no clue how to do any of those pharmacy tech calculations,i was coolin in anstomy and physiology, just doing my work nothing much to sya about that but in precalc I did my thing man. I feel confident doing logarithims, can’t even lie also I just feel good when I get something correct or even find out what im doing wrong in pre calculus, i guess i love math, its the only class that gives me that..theres a word but i dont wanna say “dopamine rush” or “excitement” because it just gives a sensation that to a degree, I’m actually good at something. But then i remember im in pre-calculus as a senior again and some people are in calculus or ap calculus ab/bc, but its cool, that’s probably why i dont let it go over my head because i should be in those classes for sure.

Trying to learn some cursive, was drawing a bit in pharmacy tech because i was bored, i was thinking of the bladee and ecco2k crest cover but kind of butchered it but to a degree, i did it in my own way. But yea my cursive is kinda cool, we starting slow but i wanna write in a full sentence one day. I also did some latenight piano play, i remember ode to joy still so thats nice, im realizing how weak my non dominant hand is so I’m looking to learn how to use it more effectively like i am right now. Starting with brushing teeth with left hand tomorrow if i remember

Ok cool uh listening to wodrainer by bladee its 12:29am i got b day tmrw tview stuff, i think im interested in making music and drawing or something, just want to do something that doesn’t put me in a box but yea we shall seee

I just remembered i drew a 3ds its not that good but its cool

[jeffrey1010bce]

December 2nd, im really writing just to write, i know ive been told to journal more but i really have nothing to put together on this blog, there js nothing interesting or nothing happening that is bad in my life, life is just happening and im just living in it. No new friends since i last posted, no new enemies, no new anything just SAMO (basquiat ref).

Did nothing today at school came home supposed to this one essay, aint done it and its 10pm damn near and im playing tomodachi life demo on my 3ds that i brang back to life. Im also realizing that I have to find a way to fix my voice, as it kind of feels like I have gum stuck in my throat or something, or feels like something is blocking it. And also my pink hoodie by vague is too big on me .. 💔 im heartbroken. But apart from minor things like that, nothing has really progressed, haven’t really found who I am, i just feel like a sheep, a lamb (the lamb and the tyger poem), a follower. Its cool i guess, idk, guess i need to workout

Hope i get into colleges and stuff yea and hope i start working soon. I probably just need to start writing shit without waiting on motivation to become consistent so i can just force a habit on doing this, same way with walking i guess, i be tryna walk for a hour with some music its pretty cool and nice being outside for a minute. Might try walking with no music tomorrow, don’t know, we’ll see. Ehh idk how i should end this off but lets just make it through these three weeks and learn something

[jeffrey1010bce]

November 3rd, like a day after taking the SAT

I have a gut feeling I didn’t improve for some reason, even though I approached each question the correct way, I just feel skeptical and I even told my dad that I feel as if I passed but really I dont know man.

Its 7pm, and its a sunday, i should of went to church today because oh man this weekend was boring soo boring, I couldn’t even go outside because my mom was cooking, I wanted to go to the library, then academy to pump up my bike and then go to kohls to get some jeans for church and probably go buy some vaseline and get a white tee but instead the only thing I could do was just sleep. Really disappointing and the fact I have to probably go to the car wash tomorrow just makes it even more disappointed but it is what it is I guess.

I am going to do that Pre-Calculus homework, I got a grip on it but stopped doing it because I had to study for the SAT but I haven’t even opened it ever since, these 4 day weekends are so bait bro I’ve wasted two days already doing nothing but sleep and I can’t even go anywhere and school is just gonna get harder because thanksgiving break is near. I still haven’t talked to that girl yet man, I’m trying to wait it out but I don’t know what I’m waiting for really, I just hope for a miracle to happen one day where I come into contact with her I guess.

I pray to god i pass this SAT man I don’t want to take this anymore, these extensive paragraphs killed me and that second math module had me bro..those last 5 questions were open-ended and I knew I was cooked but I mostly studied over the reading and I just hope I find myself scoring something good on the reading. Now I don’t have a valid excuse to not apply to colleges right now, so I might aswell start..anyday now..

Almost forgot, I don’t have a song of the day really but a song i like is this song slater, for some reason it got me motivated to really ride a bike since I’ve genuinely haven’t learned how to ride one and the sky isn’t opening up any time soon so most people won’t even be outside so we gotta try it atleast. I… just… wanna…..ride….my…bike…, unironically I want to relate to that idk why

[jeffrey1010bce]

October 29th..4 days away from SAT.

Feeling mad confident on scoring high in the Reading and Writing, but I have to practice heavy on the Math section to get a permissible score atleast

I won’t say today was a bad day, I lowkey can’t recall but I guess I talked alot today, talked to dylan a little, hope for the best for him and his to be girlfriend. Had to get my reference for my characterization essay for AP Literature, guys had me doing 2 player games just to get a essay reference but it’s cool because we got it and finished both essays including the chart. The ending to Paul’s Case threw me off so weirdly, I didn’t actually expect him to throw away his life like that even after he got caught up but it is what it is, since he didn’t really find a purpose to continue living a life of lies. Also in Government, I lowkey heavily knew alot of that practice test, felt good to participate in things like that and get them right, its cool. But anyways, that one girl disappeared again brooo I actually pray that she comes back soon, personally I don’t know much about her but I think it’s more than just her “skipping”, I think its something deeper than that, possibly personal but, that is nothing I have to really dive my nose into. We maintain a benign state of mind. 2:53am but we chilling

[jeffrey1010bce]

Genuinely, today was a in-the-middle type of day, didn’t really do much today. I practiced on SAT material probably 11pm-12:30am, didn’t do enough and also found out that my Spotify subscription expired, which is trivial. I learned a new word though, because after the subscription expired, I sat down after a while and did a vocab review on Knowt (referring this if I forget it) for a few minutes and learned about the word “Benign”

It means like gentle or kind,

So like something like:

He had a benign heart

Her face was so benign and smooth as he placed his palm around it.

I think it’s one of those replacement words you can use for gentle/kind that make you sound smart.

You say it like bee nine.

Anyways, it’s 3:15am, I got pharmacy tech and 2 hours before I get up.

Im gonna start something like fav lyric of the day to keep me coming back

No I can’t lose, I can’t lose, I can’t lose, I can’t leave it to you - Kanye West - New Slaves beat switch with Frank Ocean vocals

[jeffrey1010bce]

Been a long day, I tried to study for my Anatomy and Physiology test to 3am, hit the bed and watched some vinland saga and woke up back at 5:30 for my Pharmacy Tech class..felt sooo dead but we made it through.

Did some SAT Reading & Writing practice around that time, saw some improvements and whatnot, I just hope I can be able to do this effectively everyday, and be able to eat healthier also

Trying a new meal btw, fried rice with broccoli and beef, we working on the potatoes portion of the meal but so far that sounds like a meal plan that could fit me.

I genuinely hope one day I can make it in this world, and I hope god guides me through this journey because as tough as things seem right now, (2 hours of sleep, not understanding what my Pre-Calculus teacher is talking about when explaing Vertical and Horizontal asymptote) it’s only getting harder from here on out man. Pharmacist or not, I need the money

This song been my song of the week though, randomly heard it and I was like “Ay this one of those generational songs that they talk about is on Blond”. Me personally, I was trying to take it slow and listen to channel, ORANGE because, I just finished listening to nostalgia, ULTRA and it gravitated towards me so much that I just love it. But this song Nights is different, the first part of the song and instrumental and it just switching on the second part, that’s actually like amazing.

If I post this, let us hope I don’t sleep, and if I do, I hope I wake up again to tell myself the same thing the next day or later today