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[jeniferequinan-blog]

"A Diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure” At the first look it seems very simple as it was, on how a diamond was form, but for me it was indeed a deep statement that reflects on how I deal with my life before.

When I was young I used to be very timid and shy. I’m not that type of child that use to be goofing around and be more interactive. I do communicate with others but usually as long they’re not doing the first move, so I'll just be still. I remembered way back when I was in grade school, the attention of my mom was once called by the school because my teachers got a little bit worried due to my low grades. Since I was quiet they expected me to be a good listener and exerts great effort but it seems to go on the other way it must be. After that time when my adviser and mother talked about my situation, we rushed home and my mother confronted me about what happened. She asked me what’s going on with me, why does my grades seems to be like that? And I just started crying. I didn't even have any idea on why I am like that at school, I just felt that I’m lacking with the sense of belongingness and doesn’t have the right words that would fit to talk to others. At the end of our confrontation, I just heard my mom saying, it’s okay not to be good with things I’m not really up to but just makes sure to do your best in everything and try to give efforts especially in school. Adjustments was really indeed hard for my part but I knew I wanted it and I can do it. I started being participative in everything, tried to join activities and study a little bit more so that I can attain good grades that would make my mom proud.

As years goes by, I tried to be better. But still felt that I am just a chunk of coal no matter how I’ve tried to be enough. Thinking that there’s should be more of me, or I should be doing more things and try to gain new knowledge. One of the hardest decision that I have to make for the past years of my life is on making up my mind on what I’ve really wanted to be in the future. I’ve thought of being a nurse, a creative artist and someone that is inclined with business but still ended up upon being a teacher someday. A lot of people tends to ask me why do I want to be teacher? I always answer that I want to be a teacher because I like to be with children. I like to play around with them and bond with them. These are all my reasons on why I wanted to be that someday. But going back I was an active member of the church. I used to join a lot of groups especially for the youth ever since I was young. But only these past few years I started to be more dedicated in what I do in church. We do have mass, bible studies, recollection but my favorite part is whenever we do an catechism program for the children in our vicinity, wherein we interact with them, provide activities, feed them and most especially teach them. Imagine I was also a child that is very shy and preserve and turned out to be a good facilitator of a large group of children. Its not as easy as it can be. Most of the times I felt so exhausted and the feeling of drowning keeps on haunting me. I wanted to stop but I knew this is where I’m going to mold myself into someone that I’ve wanted to be, the betterment of myself, the training ground of my future and the achievements of my goals.

Being a teacher doesn’t define how intelligent you are instead it is more of how dedicated you can be, and surrender yourself with so many people to able to nourished them with such learnings and knowledge not only by the means of academic but also by the means of application through real world instances. Being yourself is not an easy task to do in this cruel world we have, we will always be judged and degraded by those people who try their best to bring us down together with them, its just always to be yourself at all times. Never doubt yourself for being strong because the more you do it the more fear that comes along. When you take a second look with the quote I have read, I guess you’ll understand it more, it is my mantra in life. I’ve been in so many downfall all my life, many failures and regrets but look at me now, I am proud of myself because I already knew my worth, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses and most especially I know I can do it. This is not the greatest achievement I may have but this is one of the best that I’ve got because I knew I’ll go far, that I’ll be a diamond someday in my own precious ways. And i hope everyone of us would be, by being yourself and continue doing good means to be grateful for the gift of life.