jennyennydotts-blog

[jennyennydotts-blog]

It me.

[jennyennydotts-blog]

[jennyennydotts-blog]

[jennyennydotts-blog]

I am a ball of rage and angst and fire and glitter and shame and love and too-muchness.

It’s always there, just under the surface, waiting for a crack to appear, to seep it’s way through. You never really now just how the alchemy is going to work out- will it be fire and love, that keeps fighting even when the beloved has given up? Will it be glitter and rage, that angry-cries and drives in circles and comes home to pick up the pieces but can’t because, glitter? Will it be angst and shame that shuts down and falls asleep and stops being able to exist entirely? Will it be the too-muchness, the so-bigness, the square-pegness that never ever fits anywhere.

I am light and I am dark, I am heavy and soul-weary and brain-tired from a brain that is constantly short circuiting, or running too many programs in the background, or installing unauthorized content, or shit-posting like an internet troll.

I am a house with a dozen too many rooms, and they’re falling apart. And they’re made of lead and asbestos and black mold. They’re toxic. They’re killing me. I’m dying.

I’ve died a hundred times before, anyway, each time giving birth to a new she. And giving birth is the most work anyone has ever done. This is overwhelming, I think to myself, and I am not big enough. Giving birth requires being bigger than the world. And so I grow.

But I am already too much.

How do I keep growing in a world that I am already bigger than? How will there ever be room for me, when I am already too much?

[jennyennydotts-blog]

Le cute.

meirl

[jennyennydotts-blog]

Idk what’s happening here but I approve

2 years from now it will be February 22nd, 2022 or 2/22/22 and on a Tuesday, becoming the ultimate 2’s day.

[jennyennydotts-blog]

“I am you, but stronger”

Juniper the Fox

[jennyennydotts-blog]

O f f i c i a l

USA 1984

[jennyennydotts-blog]

[jennyennydotts-blog]

Lunch was chickie nuggies again because I’m 34 and adorable.